A weird story for y'all that dont have nothing better to do:)

Jazmine Marie Du Bois.

She was someone that I struggled to comprehend. Someone that used to cry every time I left but was strangely independent. She was the light to my darkness.

Now don't ya'll start to say " that shit's whack, you's a faggoty-ass nigga" because I mean it in a completely different matter.

Not in a lovesick, romantic, gag inducing connotation but more of a literal term. Her optimistic cheerful personality in a strange way balances my pessimist analytical one. She clashes with me in a way that is different from anyone she has the tendency to be highly annoying sometimes, but she keeps a small flickering flame of hope inside my mind. That hope to change the world someday.

It's weird, I acknowledge it. Sometimes even I can't understand. But then I think that that is how it's supposed to be.. for me not to know exactly how this unusual bond between me and her works.

Maybe it has something to do with loyalty. I have time and time again been betrayed by the ones that I hold dear to me- my parents, when they left this Earth, my granddad; for never listening to me and selling out, and Riley- for just being you now, Riley. Except Jazmine though. I find it quite shocking as a matter of fact that she has put up with me for as long as she has. Numerous times have I have put her down, pushed her away- frequently calling out her mistakes, all of her flaws and she's still by my side.

Still giving that so-important badge of "best friend forever", and tells me I'm the one she most cares about. Maybe because of that , I've been cruel to her because I'm not used to having all the attention that she gives me. It's a cold hard exterior because I'm afraid to show how much I appreciate her.

But if anybody can break that shell, it will be Jazmine.

I have put myself in danger before, where I act or speak from my heart- not my mind.

Various times actually, exposing that side I don't want her to see- well anybody to see for that matter. I don't like feeling that particular way, even though I've never actually blown my cover. She always thinks I'm messing with her or being sarcastic every time I say something that I genuinely feel. It's a relief though, because she would probably make it a big deal, being the drama queen that she is.

I remember the first time I broke. When I hugged her tightly first instead of the other way around. She was so taken back, she didn't even hug back. And I didn't care. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. It is not even loyalty that is her greatest trait. It's how impossible she is to decipher. I can predict anything and all actions might commit due to his or her's obvious usually ignorant way of thinking. Predicting Riley's future for example, predicting his thoughts and ideas comes so damn easy that it sometimes scares me. And I'm always right.

But with her, it's like I'm wading in dangerous waters.

I never know if I'll get knocked down by a fatal wave of overwhelming emotions or a calm and logical manner of looking at things. She is an enigma, a mystery. One I have tried to figure out since the day I met her. I would always mask my true face of wonder with one of annoyance and tell her to stop being so 'difficult' but in reality it was me that was being difficult.

She is more than nice, and I have been a horrible friend.

She deserve better than that.

And I'll give her better...