TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of Suicide by overdose and self harm.

Everyone didn't expect that. Troy Borrows, 19, found dead in his bedroom in his parents' house last night.

*Present day, Jake's house, 7:57AM

Jake woke up with his phone going off, he sat up and rubbed his tired eyes before lazily pulling his phone off charge and answering it.

"Hey Troy, isn't it a bit early to be calling?" but the voice that replied wasn't who Jake was expecting. It was Troy's parents. Jake knew something was wrong when he heard his friends' mother's voice crack then burst into tears, him slowly following.

He didn't know if his friends were ready to have this talk, Jake knew he wasn't but they had to know. He messaged the group chat that included his and Troy's main circle of friends. Slowly they arrived at his place and made their way to the living room as he broke the news to them.

"B-but Troy isn't the type to even think like that," Emma said trying to hold back tears. "H-he couldn't, no I can't, I can't think that's how he died." she covered her face with her hands and her boyfriend, Noah, wrapped his arms around her as she moved into his chest as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

"No one knows how he died yet, there was no weapon. Murder could still be likely." Jake told the worrying group of friends.

"Murder? How would a murderer have gotten into his room? You know he locks his door before going to sleep, he was that type of person." Gia added. "Troy never would've wanted to end his own life, but... What if he did?"

"He couldn't of, Troy loved his life." Jake denied. "The last thing Troy would have wanted was to commit suicide. Orion, did he tell you anything? You were his boyfriend after all." they turned to look at Orion wiping away his tears.

"No, he didn't tell me anything. Not a word. He should of, I could have stopped him-." Orion choked up and started to cry again, he couldn't help it, no one could. Everything went silent. Only muffled cries could be heard.

*One week before Troy's death, Harwood Country Park, 3:00PM*

Troy sat up resting his body against a tree watching some kids in the park playing their games.

People thought great things of Troy. Some people even said they wished they had his life, but Troy couldn't understand why. He was just a normal teenager living in this world he doesn't understand. He looked at his wrist that was covered by his leather jacket.

As Troy closed his eyes and crossed his arms he heard footsteps walking toward him, he didn't care at first until he heard his name being called out and a kiss planted in his cheek.

Orion.

"I knew you would be here!" The taller male cheered and sat down next to Troy. "You're not hot in that jacket?"

Troy looked at him and shook his head. "I'm fine. I don't feel the heat that much." he told him. Orion didn't believe him at first as he gripped the zipper of Troy's jacket and started to pull it down. Troy grabbed Orion's wrist and held it as both of their blue eyes met.

"You're doing it again, aren't you?" Orion said in a concerned tone. Troy knew he couldn't lie to his boyfriend, he would have found out anyways. Troy reluctantly pulled back one of his sleeves to reveal cut marks from his wrist up. "Troy, I told you to stop."

"Orion, I can't. It's a way for me to cope. I can't stop it" he looked at him, Orion embraced him with a hug.

"You can stop this. I know you can. Just don't let the others find out, they'll be even more concerned. Let's keep it between us, Troy. till you are back on the right tracks."

*Present day, Jake's living room, 2;00PM*

Jake got a text from Troy's parents, Gia turns to face him as he read out the message.

"His parents said the first responders were checking down Troy's body to prove the theory he was murdered-." he stopped.

"Why did you pause?" Noah questioned as he still held the grieving Emma in his arms.

"They found a number of self-inflicted cuts to his arms and upper thighs, he had his jacket on so it was covered when they found his body." Jake looked up with shock. "B-but why didn't he tell us he was self-harming? We're his friends! He could've came to us to talk it out..."

"I told him he shouldn't." Orion exclaimed, "I told him it would be better if it was just between him and me. I didn't think it would lead to this…" Gia moved over to comfort him.

"What else are you hiding from us, Orion?" Jake questioned him, starting to get angry.

"I told you he didn't tell me he was going to kill himself. He only told me his goal was to see how much he can push his body before he broke…" Orion started to cry.

"I don't fucking believe you," Jake hissed, "Tell us the truth!"

"I'm telling you the truth! When I found out he was cutting himself, he told me that he didn't plan on anything involving suicide. It was only till later I realised he wasn't doing it just for that." Orion cleared up, his mind going back to that day when he walked into Troy with a blade that came from a school pencil sharper in his wrist and him lying about what he was doing. Why did I ever believe him, Orion thought to himself before bringing his head to his knees.

"You shouldn't yell at him like that Jake!" Gia scolded, he just rolled his eyes "He didn't know Troy was-."

"He should've reported it to someone or at least told us. If he did that maybe Troy would still be here." Jake argued, Gia moved towards him, annoyed that he said that. Orion stood up and grabbed her by the arm stopping her in her tracks.

"Please don't fight, Troy wouldn't have wanted this. Look, I fucked up. I should have told you and his parents." Orion spoke quietly, his head hanging low. Jake calmed down and looked Gia in the eye, Emma and Noah slowly walked over.

"We can't change what happened. Like Orion said, Troy wouldn't have wanted us fighting over something so little." Emma chocked up.

"It's better not to talk about it till the cause of death is confirmed." Noah suggested, they all agreed as they sat back down and waited.

*Two weeks before Troy's Death, Troy's bedroom, 6:00PM*

Jake and Troy were sitting on the floor of his bedroom. Troy had a notebook in his hands as he wrote down stuff. Before Jake could peek, Troy quickly closed the book and placed it under his bed till it was hidden.

"Dude, you alright?" Jake asked cocking his head to one side.

Troy nodded. "Why wouldn't I be alright?" He forced a smile. "Life is great at the moment."

"Um, you sure? You've been down a lot lately and you haven't been going out with me and the others." Jake said looking at him.

"It's nothing, trust me. I've just been really busy." he lied, Jake didn't believe him but he trusted Troy.

He isn't the type to lie about his problems, Jake thought. "Orion's also worried about you, don't you care for that at least that?" he asked.

"Of course I do Jake. It's just, I haven't had time to see him… You know my parents won't let him come over." Troy said, his head hung low.

"Yea I know. It's a stupid rule but I guess that's your parent's way of thinking." he chuckled. "Are you sure you're fine? You're not gonna kill yourself on me?" Jake said jokingly.

"Me? You know me too well to even think that. I can't leave my parents, Orion or even you for that matter." Troy laughed.

"I know, I know. I was kidding." the two laughed.

*Present day, one week after Troy's death, Harwood Country Park 10:00PM*

All week the group of friends had been doing different activities to take their mind off last week's tragedy. It was bush walks one day and at the beach the next, no one could tell they were grieving.

Emma was laying down on a blanket on the grass when Jake's phone goes off. At first, he didn't answer it, he waited till everyone was sitting down before he read the text out.

"It's from Troy's parents." Jake said to them.

"What does it say?" Orion questioned, he just looked at him.

"It's confirmed," he took a deep breath in, "The test results are back and Troy did commit suicide, he overdosed on a pharmacy drug..."

"D-did he leave something like a note?" Emma stuttered.

"There wasn't one near the body, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one on." Jake sighed.

"So that's it, at least we got answers." Gia looked to the ground.

Orion stood up and turned away from them, he sighed and looked up into the sky. Emma got up and walked over and hugged him before he could break into tears.

"N-no this can't be. Why him. He didn't need to end his life… H-he could have told me… Told us how he was feeling," Orion couldn't hold back his tears. "What would have caused him to do that?" Emma stroked his back as she looked to Gia and Jake.

"No one knows. Only he did. He had a life that people would see as great. He had a loving family, friends and partner." Jake commented.

"Troy's life might have seemed perfect but his mental state wasn't. Maybe he woke up one day and just wanted to end it all." Noah added.

"He had a secret battle even he couldn't win, and paid the ultimate sacrifice..." Gia trailed off.

"But the thing we need to remember he is a peace now." Emma said.

*Day of Troy's Death, Troy's bedroom, 4:00pm*

Troy laid on the wooden floor in his room. He stared up at his ceiling, twisting the blade between his fingers. He didn't care anymore; his jacket sleeves were rolled up to reveal the fresh cuts across his arms. Troy sat up, un-did his jeans and pulled them down until the top of his thighs were showing. He took the blade, cut deep and started dragging across his skin as it drew blood. He let out a chuckle as he looked at the blade and continue before ripping out a page from his note book.

After Troy finished writing his final note, he folded it and placed back into the book before doing what he wanted to do. He re-did his jeans up and hid the blade in his top drawer and grabbed his water bottle and a bottle of pills he bought a while ago. He poured them down his throat until there was none left. He laid content on the hard floor.

At that moment Troy didn't think of anything, not how his parents would feel when they see their only child lying lifeless on the floor or even what his friend's or even Orion's reactions. At that moment Troy didn't care, he did want he wanted.

At 8:00pm, his parents finally arrived home from their outing and walked up to his room.

"Troy are you in there?" His mother's voice wondered as she opens the door slowly before screaming as her worst fears came true...

After his friend's funeral, Troy's parents went up to him and handed him the loose piece of paper. Jake sat crossed legged on his bed as he started to read Troy's note.

Dear whoever finds this...

Jake continued to read on and some answers were revealed and some would to stay a mystery.

You are probably wondering why I did it. Isn't it funny that even the people who look completely fine are the ones dying inside and no one even knows what's going on in their minds.

The world is a fucked up place. I hope you understand that.

I'm going to be known as that boy who seemed so full of life, that took his own life because he didn't feel like living was for him.

~Final goodbyes from Troy

Jake folded the note and sat there horrified, he couldn't believe what he just read. Why didn't Troy ask for help and why was he so stupid to believe Troy when he said he was fine. He could've stopped this, told Troy his life wasn't pointless and his friends as there for him...

But it was all too late... Far too late

Notes:

This was done for a English assignment back in 2017, a friend at the time did the editing since it was done two days before the due date.

Please please if you can try to reach out for help if you ever feel like suicide is the only way out, it's not, you can get through this, you are beautiful and vailed 3

We had to do a teen issue, I picked self harm/suicide, this fic wasn't planned to be submitted, I got a B for it, it was only suppose to be 500 words.

I want to go on and say that Troy wanted to reach out for help but didn't, he's a strong leader and wanted people to still think that, there was a lot of issues as well that I will bring up.

Orion should have told someone and not kept it a secret, he should have told Jake or another rangers. Troy's parents also HATE him for a lot of reasons, that's why his parents gave Jake the note, not Orion (Jake gives him the note afterwards) and yea, Orion did attend his Boyfriends funeral.