Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. Nor about half of Euphie's dialogue.

A/N: Oh god, this one is multi-chaptered!!! O_O

Lelouch Lamperouge did not even bother hiding the hideous scowl on his face as he sat beside his father, Charles zi Britannia, who was whistling 'Ich Will' to himself as he drove the large van along the beaten path into the forest. Sitting in the back seats were Nunnally, V.V., Euphemia, Cornelia, Clovis, Bartley (because he couldn't stand to be away from his 'Clovis-chan'), Schneizel and Odysseus. For some reason, Charles had decided to try and be a 'better father', so he was taking all his favorite children...

...on a fishing trip.

"I DON'T EVEN LIKE FISHING!!!" Clovis whined.

"YES, MASTER CLOVIS DOES NOT LIKE FISHING!!!" Bartley spoke up.

"Both of you, shut the fuck up!!" Charles snapped at the two of them, and they immediately shut their mouthes.

Glancing to the back, Lelouch asked, "Hey, what about your 103 other kids, you big pimp?!"

Charles shrugged. "Hey...you're the only guys with names that actually matter to me, so this is what ya get..."

"I wonder if we'll see any crocodiles or alligators..." Nunnally muttered to herself, the only one truly excited about the trip.

Tipping a coonskin hat over his eyes, V.V. chewed on a root of foxtail as he replied in a thick redneck accent, "Ehh, I ain't seen a single croc or ally in these here waters since my days in da bayou..."

Lelouch leaned over to his father and whispered, "Why is he talking like that...?"

"I have no idea," Charles replied, "He's been doing this since we started driving..."

"Can we throw him out on the side of the road?"

"I would...but he's carrying the keys to the house..."

"Damn..."

Clapping her hands in a rapid fashion and bouncing in her seat, Euphemia squealed, "OH, CORNELIA-ONEE-CHAN, THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! ISN'T IT EXCITING, CORNELIA-ONEE-CHAN?!! ISN'T IT?!!!"

Cornelia grunted. "Listen, Euphie-chan, I only think about MANLY things..."

"...Like my vagina?"

"Yes, like your - WAIT A MINUTE!!!"

"HA HA HA!!! GOTCHA, BITCH!!!"

Meanwhile, Odysseus was reading his newest issue of 'LOLI-MONTHLY', and Schneizel was happily playing Rayman DS while sucking on a lollipop.

Noticing the depressed expression on his youngest (of the important children, anyway) son's face, Charles asked, "Hey, Lelouchebag...what's wrong?"

Lelouch pinched the bridge of his nose, and snapped, "Dad...why are you even doing this?! NO ONE BUT YOU, V.V. AND MY MENTALLY-RETARDED LITTLE SISTER WANT TO GO ON THIS TRIP!!"

Nunnally raised her head. 'What did he just call me?'

"I just thought...you'd enjoy it..." Charles whimpered, trying hard not to start crying.

"Oh god, not again...look, just...just stop crying, and I'll...I'll stop complaining! Just stop crying, okay?!!"

Charles immediately ceased his sobbing.

Lelouch sighed. 'I'm related to a bunch of idiots...and, yes, Nunnally, I'm getting tired of you too!! Damn physically-disabled wench...I can't have a personal life with her around!!'

"How many people wanna kick some ass?! I do, I do!!"

"SHUT UP, EUPHIE!!!"

"God...this is gonna suck..." Lelouch thought.

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"Wow...I can't believe you actually went through with the Knights of the Round Anniversary Picnic this year..." Luciano Bradley remarked to Bismark Waldstein as he flipped hamburgers on the grill. He wore a chef's hat and an apron to match. Close in front of him was a large, shimmering blue lake, one of the only few places not corrupted by the disgusting pollution of modernized civilization.

Bismark nodded. "Yeah, i've been wanting to do this for a while, and since the Emperor seems to be taking the day off too, I decided...why not do the same? Where are the others, anyway?"

"They all got drunk and passed out..." Luciano grunted, pointing at the nearby pile of snoozing bodies.

Bismark sighed and rolled the eyeball that wasn't stitched shut. "God...bunch of useless bastards..."

"Heh...you usually just say that about ME!" Luciano chuckled.

Bismark shrugged. "Well, you're the only one who actually likes this idea...so I appreciate that..."

"Ooh, you're so sweet, Bismark-chan-chan..."

"...What?"

Suddenly, a large van came flying out of nowhere from within the surrounding forest, and crash-landed right in front of a rather surprised Bismark, who soon realized he was going to need a new pair of pants.

The car door swung open, and none other than Charles zi Britannia hopped out, followed soon by all of his children...or at least, the children that mattered.

Falling to her knees, Euphemia scooped a handful of woodchips and animal shit into her delicate hands and cried, "GORDON FREEMAN IS NOW THESE HANDS...I MUST KILL THE NEXT BOSS, AND LIVE UP TO FULL-LIFE CONSEQUENCES!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!" Cornelia cried.

Schneizel gasped. "YOU'VE BEEN READING MY FANFICTION, HAVEN'T YOU?!!"

"I WANT MY DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS..." Euphie screamed, rolling around in the dirt and giggling uncontrollably.

A warm smile suddenly formed on Cornelia's lips. "Oh yeah! I forgot that Euphie had just gotten out of rehab!!"

Luciano could do nothing but smack his palm against his face. "God...this is gonna suck..."

Somewhere in this world, a tax salesman was laughing at their despair...