There she is, walking down the road with another man. She seems to be happier with him than she ever was with me. I watch her go down the road with him holding hands and having her glistening smile on her face. I've seen her many times like this and it makes me happy that she's found someone to make her laugh and feel good about herself, but yet...it still hurts.

I want to be that person to make her laugh and make her feel good about herself. Not just that, but I want her to smile her glistening smile at me and hold my hand walking down the road. I look again and this time they are inches from each other. He has her arm around her and she lays her head on her shoulder softly. I've seen this countless times and it makes me sad and angry knowing that it isn't me that she has her head on my shoulder and my arm around her securing her.

She looks up at him now with her smiling eyes full of happiness then giving him a meaningful kiss. I wish I was the one to give her that kiss only to feel her soft lips on mine but that is only a wasted desire. They go and get something to eat. He orders and pays for her food. After getting there food, they go and sit back down and eat. She gets some food on her chin so he wipes it off her face with a napkin and giving her a kiss. She smiles at him at his kindness to her.

Watching them again only makes me angry and want to cut her boyfriend in half with my sword. I hate him for taking my place even though its my fault that I left only with a simple goodbye. It broke me to hear her breakdown and cry and practically hearing her heart break in two. I only thought it was for her own good for me to leave but now I see...it was a major dumb thing to do. I can't go back now and beg forgiveness from her when I know I would never retrieve her kindness and only have it replaced with rage for me. I've been replaced by a stupid punk. But if it makes her happy then who am I to intervene? Watching her new boyfriend and her may seem like stalking but I can't help it...I have to make sure she's ok. But she can never know that I've returned and have her heart filled up with hate and rage for me. That would break me more than I am right now watching this stupid punk take my place. I hate this guy for replacing me...does Kaoru really hate me? If she does, I can see why. I just want to tear this guy apart with my bear hands. After all, I am capable of that. Maybe not, but with a weapon I am very deadly and have no mercy on who takes Kaoru away from me, but I've done this to myself.

She's moved on and happy with herself and this new gay ass punk.

I wander if he's gay...Maybe he's hiding the fact that he is gay by dating Kaoru. Hehe...that would be funny. I could find that out. That would make my day. Besides, he's to skinny and needs to muscle up. He has brown hair with brown eyes and tan. He's ugly, I have to admit because I am way better looking then that skinny ass. He's to tall for her anyways. Grrr...I really hate him.

I'm behind a tree watching her. She looks so gorgeous with her black ebony hair down and her blue, crystal eyes filled with happiness. I wish I was the reason for her happiness and her smile. She looks over at the tree that I'm hiding behind, I go behind it just in time before she looks over.

"What's wrong?" The punk (her boyfriend) asks with concern.

"N-Nothing. I just thought I saw someone I knew," Kaoru stutters.

"Who?" The stupid punk asks with curiosity.

"Ke-no one. He's long gone by now." She answers with sadness tinting her voice.

"Ok. Let's go." He says, putting his arm around her waist.

I can still hear the sadness of her voice ringing in my ears. I am the reason that she is sad. They go down the same road that I saw them on walking really close in contact. I leave my hiding place and watch them walk down the road. I am left standing there and staring after them.

I have come to a conclusion...I am stupid for leaving her because of my selfish reasons. I want to come back have my place again. But could I? No, I can't because it would possibly make things worse for me and her. But it might work because then I would never hear the sadness in her voice or that phrase..."He's long gone by now." It hurt me. Having my name replace with a simple word such as "no one." That's what I am to the depths of her mind: a nobody or a no one. I can change that by coming back, I think.

Maybe her heart won't be filled with hate and rage for me if I come back. I know that she will be pissed as hell when I return but I will do anything for her forgiveness. But if I go back, will I risk hurting her again? Will I get my place back in her heart? Will that punk go away if I return? (I will make sure that happens if I decide to return.) Most of all...will she ever love me again like she once did before?

But I won't know any of this if I don't return. So, maybe, I will return.

-This is the end of chapter 1. Tell me what you think. I wrote this a couple years ago so it might not be that good. But please R&R. :D -