Never Underestimate the Power of the Arcade
I do not own X-Men Evolution characters having crazy obsessions over classic arcade and video games nor the arcade game of their namesake. Enjoy!
"It's unbelievable! How in the heck can they modify us like that?!" Scott ranted, pacing through the living room as Jean, Hank, Logan, Lance, Bobby, Kurt, Rogue, Warren and Tabitha watched
"What is Scott ranting about? I kinda missed the modify part." Bobby whispered to Jean as Scott's speech continued
"Oh some video game company made an arcade version of us. The title was just called "X-Men." That is so cheap! Why didn't they call it "The Uncanny X-Men" or "Astonishing X-Men"!" Jean ranted
"I enjoyed 'Astonishing'. It was good right up until Marvel made us go head to head with the Avengers of all heroes!" Kurt commented
"I mean, look at my video game character! My body's all digitized, in like I don't know 8-bit graphics, plus Magneto's lines in his level are so freaking cheesy! Like this 'I am Magneto, master of magnet!'" Scott boasted, mocking Magneto's intimidating voice
"Good imitation. I didn't get the idea why Mystique spoke gibberish in the game" Kurt added
"While not only that, we had all our costumes formed into a 8-bit digitized shape!" Scott continued
"You do have a point; I'm still unsure how they managed me to be at first human form, then they add in some mechanism, causing me to armor up-only on game control! It's unbelievable!" Peter replied, astonished
"Yeah, I hear you. I mean, look at me: My teleport powers for example; Those arcade designers made my teleport powers not only transport people, but also used as an attack mode! Though I must admit, using it to destroy Sentinels was pretty awesome." Kurt added
"And more importantly, they didn't even add me!" Jean snapped "I mean really! I'm Scott's wife, also the most powerful X-Men female member! But did they add me on the game, nooo! What was I, some easter egg?" Jean ranted
"Probably." Bobby joked before seeing Jean glare at him
"Careful, Bobby. Messing with Phoenix's popularity can be a bad idea." Lance warned
"Yeah, out of the many bad ideas he has!" Tabitha snapped in boredom.
"And to further the matter, they had us fight some snow-covered ape called Wendigo or whatever the heck the thing's called!" Jean continued "What makes it worse, all that monkey says is 'Wendigo', 'Wendigo' over and over! It's like an X-Men version of Pokemon for crying out loud!" Jean snapped
"That was the most ridiculous piece of anime garbage I've ever seen!" Logan griped
"That was a particularly good anime show…right up until they did an episode where they made fun of Titanic." Scott commented
"But without the mushy Celine Dion song." Peter piped up
"Seriously, what better arcade game can there be?" Jean asked feistily, listing titles off her hand "I mean, Pong, Space Invaders, Asteroids, Defender, and Duck Hunt? What else outranks us?"
"Uh…Galaga?" Bobby asked nervously
"Close, but no cigar. I prefer Pac-Man." Jean answered, as a few X-Men protested loudly
"Oh you've got to be kidding me! All you had to do was move a short little yellow midget through a lousy stinking maze while avoiding a bunch of crap-shaped ghosts. Please! That game makes Final Fantasy look like a cakewalk!" Victor grunted
"… Um, need I remind you Final Fantasy is an RPG?" Pyro piped up. "What the hell is an RPG?" Victor snarled. "Role Playing Game." Jean replied flatly.
"Oh this is good: All my arcade game memories now being restored! Hallelujah!" Scott cheered
"Hey! Would you at least keep it down?! You don't have to belch out Handel's Hallelujah chorus like last time!" Rogue snapped
"I suppose you're referring to the infamous Mortal Kombat Tournament of '12? The one where Scott got hyped on all the Red Bull and beat everyone?" Kitty asked thoughtfully.
"Yes, and it would've been a lot less like a madhouse if somebody didn't pour hashish into the pudding." Rogue hinted, giving Lance a dirty look
"Oh come on! Jamie pinned it on me!" Lance pleaded. "HEY!" Jamie retorted.
"Hmmm…was there by any chance a game level where the Hallelujah chorus is heard?" Scott asked rhetorically
"I think it may have been Castlevania." Lance answered, "Don't get me started on that crap. That completely destroyed the entire history of vampires!" Pietro huffed.
"I thought you changed your mind on that when Scott and I took you to that weird Twilight movie?" Jean asked, as Logan snorted. "I wanted my money back." Logan smirked
"Jean, honestly; I do appreciate your feelings about our copyright titles, really: But can we at least take a breather from this? I haven't had a good snooze in weeks!" Tabitha yawned
"Oh yeah, sure. Like the time I found you snoozing on Betsy's limo! Boy, did she throw a tizzy!" Ray joked. In response, an insulted Warren smacked Ray up the head
"Where are your manners? You know better to talk about my fiancée that way. Disgusting!" Warren snapped. Roberto suddenly belched, causing half the mansion to rumble.
"I rest my case." Warren groaned, rolling his eyes. "It's no use, Warren. When I tried to teach those two in chemistry, I nearly lost my mind!" Rogue added
"Geez, I sure would go bananas if I had to listen to these crazy lectures!" Bobby joked
"One more wisecrack and there'll be a lot of monkey business going on, buddy!" Jean snapped
"Ooh! Donkey Kong! I love that game!" Warren piped up excitedly
"Oh no! Not the freaking arcade thing again!" Tabitha moaned, slapping her forehead
"Seriously? All there was in the game were jumping over barrels, climbing up ladders, blah blah blah, and finally pushing the ape over like King Kong, hooray, you win the game, kaput." Jean muttered
"Ok I agree with you on that note: But to be fair, the newer versions are more easier." Warren noted
"When did you all of a sudden become a genius in video game history?" Rogue asked
"Last week." Warren answered, with a cocky grin
"Ugh…so tired. Must…need…soda…" Scott moaned before eventually collapsing on the staircase
"Now then where was I: Oh yes, they had to base the game on the unreleased pilot of the 90s cartoon show. But the fact is: The pilot was made in the freaking 80s for crying out loud!" Jean snapped, ranting yet again, not noticing Scott and Tabitha snoring in the background
"You have seriously got to be kidding." Lance remarked, yawning
"We've been up against Juggernaut, Mystique, Magneto, the Brotherhood, Apocalypse… now we're arguing over a silly arcade game!" Logan shouted
"It is not silly! It's realistic!" Jean snapped
"To be fair, she does have a point." Bobby answered, unknown that Jean had heard him
"Finally! Someone agrees to my point of view!" Jean hollered before passionately kissing Bobby on the cheek
"Gee, that must've been right on cue." Bobby said, amused by Jean's romantic move
"Tell me about it." Logan snorted sarcastically before adding "I'm sure nobody would see crazy stuff like this in a video game."