Hii. This is my first fan fiction EVER and I'm kinda nervous as to what people will think about it!

I have a favour to ask to anyone who reads, if you see a point where it says 'form' and it's supposed to be 'from' could you please tell me so I can change it right away! ^.^

Okay, I'll shut up now. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Yuuram of course, therefore Shonen Ai.

Your feet seemed to grow heavier and heavier with every, echoing step you took down the otherwise eerily quiet hallway. As you took in your surroundings, every last detail from the smell of the evening's dinner being prepared to the countless portraits that hung on the wall, your head was rushed with memories, long forgotten over the decades.

You made your way down the hallway as fast as you could in your sodden and battered riding boots, toes squelching as you went, but your destination always seemed to be one step ahead of you. The heavy, wooden doors loomed in the distance, beckoning you to come closer and mocking the futility of your steps, as you slowly passed the endless train of doors on either side.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime and a marathon of walking, you stopped, dead in your tracks in front of the doors. You listened. Muffled voices rang through your ears from what sounded like a heated debate as you desperately tried to pick out the voice you were seeking. That voice. His voice.

"I'm not giving up, we can't! I know he's alive. I just know it!"

You found it. The voice that had filled your dreams, the voice that had got you through the pain and the torture of the last six months. The voice you hoped to hear again but silently dreaded that you never could. All else was insignificant, unimportant. As his voice still rang through your head you felt no more need for hesitation. You carefully reached out to knock on the thick, wooden doors, your knock reverberating through the wood and into the room they guarded, and even, so it felt, through your entire body.

"Not now!"

A short, sharp, cold answer came from within the room and lingered in the air for what felt like many minutes before you could hear the muffled argument continue inside once again.

The answer had you stumped, it led you to doubt your previous confidence, but nothing could get in the way. You'd dreamed of this moment every night for the past six months and there was no way you were going to let it slip out of your grasp. You took a deep breath, inhaling to the full capacity of your lungs, desperately trying to brace yourself for what was to come, before once again reaching out and this time carefully unlatching the brass doorknob.

You closed your eyes, tight, and pushed the heavy door open, slowly and cautiously, silently stepping into the vast room as you did so.

"I said, not now!"

The same cold answer was reply to your intrusion and it pained you. Something had changed in the boy who stood before you. The newfound anger that filled his voice rang through your body and hit your heart like a thousand icy daggers. You stood, planted in the doorway, and stared at the back of your fiancé's head. A horrible grief welled up inside of you and you could feel your eyes start to sting, your tears trying to force their way out, longing to fall like the winter downpour outside. You swallowed, hard, and denied your tears their wish. Ignoring the pain and longing inside of yourself, you pushed your feelings deep down into your heart and locked them up where they belonged. Finally you felt you could speak and once again you covered up the truth, something you were an expert at by now, and managed to force your words out,

"What's this? I finally work my way back home and this is how you greet me? I wouldn't have bothered coming back if I'd known I was going to get treated like this. You've got some nerve, wimp!"

It hurt. Why couldn't you just tell him? Why couldn't you have just told him how you felt once and for all? Why did you always put yourself through the pain of hiding it and covering it up with some random insult or accusation?

You could tell immediately that your words hit home. He looked almost like he had received an electric shock and you knew then that he hadn't forgotten about you, hadn't forgotten your voice. He slowly began to turn towards you and at first sight of his face you could feel all the emotions of the last six months well up inside of you again.

He stood, dumbfounded, staring at your face, his midnight eyes piercing your features, and you couldn't help but smile, a soft, gentle smile that you reserved only for him. He slowly staggered towards you and you could see in his expression that he still didn't fully believe his eyes.

He stopped a foot in front of you and glared down at you. It was at that point that it became quite obvious to you that he had done a lot of growing while you had been gone, whereas your height, unfortunately, had not changed. He reached out with his hand and gently touched your left cheek, a fleeting touch at first, as if he was afraid of being burnt, but after a moment his hand returned and he softly supped your cheek in his palm.

At this, you could no longer control yourself. Your eyes burst with tears at the feel of his warm, tanned hand against your cold, rain-soaked skin and butterflies grew in the pit of your stomach, you knew what you were going to do next and you could do nothing to stop it.

You thrusted your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up so you could rest your head on his shoulder. You could feel him tense up at first, but slowly he relaxed. You felt a slight chuckle reverberate through his body as you continued to rest your head on his shoulder, your dripping tresses leaving a very noticeable patch of wetness against the soft, black fabric he was wearing. You felt him slowly snaking his left arm around your waist, his right hand, which you had tore your face from, following suit and resting slightly higher up your back.

You had pulled yourself as close as you could to his body, but in a vain effort he attempted to pull you closer, tightening the grip around your waist. His heat flooded your battered body, seemingly drying out your stained and ragged clothing, until you felt warm to the very core. The daggers that had been placed in your heart melted away to nothing in his embrace.

If you could have stayed that way forever, you would have. If you could have held him forever, you would've never let go.

You knew at that point that you couldn't hide it any more, there was no point, you'd given up the game. He had to know how you felt, it didn't matter if you were rejected. Nothing could hurt as much as denying your feelings, suppressing them, could it? You moved your head further into his shoulder, feeling him adjust the position of his own arms so that one now lay in your tangled, blonde mass of hair, and decided, without a doubt, that you wouldn't wait any longer. You moved once again, but this time to place a soft kiss at the nape of his neck. It was brief, and compared to what you felt inside yourself, worthless. You had what felt like a millennia to fear his reaction, before it finally arrived.

You'd made a mistake, you were certain of it. He maintained his grip around you but he immediately tensed up and slowly pulled himself away from you. You knew what he wanted, it was clear, it rang through your whole body and screamed in your ears, so you quickly dropped your arms to your side and hung your head, unable to look him in the eye for fear of what you might find. Your tears, which had just begun to dry up, flowed silently from you bloodshot eyes, running down your face until gravity pulled them to the floor. You didn't like to cry in public, you always refused to show signs of weakness and crying was unacceptable from a soldier such as yourself. Thinking back you realised something, he was the only one who had ever made you cry like this, where people could see you and ridicule you for your flaws. The one person you loved most in the world was the only person who could make you feel this low.

You could feel him finally release the grip he had around you, you had known it was coming but it still hurt all the same. However, you were not expecting what he did next. You stood, hurt, your feet frozen to the floor, unable to move not matter how much your mind was screaming at you to leave, to run away, again. But still, you remained stationary, as motionless and tense as the soldier you were. However, with your head hung to the floor you were unable to notice his movement.

He slowly brought his hand to your face again, however, this time he gently grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger and pulled you up so he could look you right in the eye. Before you even had time to register what was happening, he quickly closed the gap between you and carefully placed his lips against your own. The kiss was clumsy and innocent and over before you even had a chance to react, but it was enough. Everything that needed to be said was portrayed perfectly in those few seconds and you seemed to finally be at peace.

As he pulled away he opened his eyes, which he had shut tightly just seconds before, to you standing, mouth agape with a look of utter confusion painted on your fair features. Your expression made him laugh and it felt like so long since you had heard that sweetest of sounds. It calmed you greatly and you suddenly felt yourself smiling again, a soft but wide smile that almost gave the impression that your were brain dead. Upon realising this you had hastily tried to stop yourself from acting in such an undignified manner, but his laugh only grew louder and as you looked back up at him you could see him returning that same, goofy smile. 'I figured that was where I got it from' you thought annoyedly to yourself pouting slightly but no longer trying to hide your joy. He hastily pulled you into a tight embrace which you happily returned and you softly mumbled, half to yourself, "I'm home."

You heard him giggle and you could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, "Welcome back."

XXXXX

In the background a certain lavender-haired advisor sweat-dropped and quietly sneaked out of the room through a side exit.

Hope you enjoyed my very first ficcie! I know it's a bit weird and it might not make a whole lot of sense, but please review. Constructive criticism welcome, seen as I know I'm not the best.