Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers applied.

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She couldn't help but let tears fall as she looked at his grave. They both struggled and she swore they could have succeeded life. She once dreamt that he would be a great tennis player. But everything was shattered, even the thought to be with him…just because she made a disastrous mistake of being stubborn, always thinking that she was strong.

It would probably be good to let things go because sometimes, a link between two people must end to bring back a relationship that was once lost.

0.0

She never knew why he quit tennis and she never knew why he left. After a year of marriage, Echizen Sakuno thought that everything was perfect.

She asked him why, but she guessed she wouldn't know the answer. Not now that he had already left. Not now when she knew nothing of his whereabouts.

All she could do was to keep the secret she had been longing to say to him. Because even before, half a year ago, he had left without heed.

So she did her best and took care of the child that had been with her for nine months. It was pretty difficult knowing that she couldn't tell her friends or even her grandmother her current situation. She didn't know if it was love or she was just plain stupid.

She told them that everything was fine and that they were going strong. She hadn't or rather couldn't tell them that Ryoma was gone or even the fact that she was pregnant. She was afraid that if they would find out, Ryoma would be in trouble. Anyway, she still loved him.

She endured everything; she cooked for herself, washed her clothes and went through all the check-ups by herself. She always envied the couples and their children whenever she saw them going for ultrasounds together; supporting each other and being happy at the same time. She always hoped she had one to count on to.

But no one was there. She didn't want anyone to be there, not when she knew that she was so helpless and pitiful.

But she almost forgot. He was there. Her child was there, continuously strengthening her. She knew that if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't want to go on.

"We could do this," she usually encouraged herself.

Although it was difficult, she had managed to go through it. And it made her even happier now that the day had finally come. This month, she knew that the child would soon be out. Even though a new and bigger responsibility awaited her, she wouldn't falter…they had gone through a lot of struggles already, what was the point of turning back and being afraid?

"O-Ouch," she said silently as she felt the pain in her stomach.

She wondered why after his absence she never cried for help. Maybe it was the fear of being a burden to other people.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" the driver asked as he sped up through the highways.

"Y-Yes," she sighed as she tried to ease the hurt. "Come now baby, we can do this…we can reach it," she said, caressing her stomach at the same time. "We're almost there," she said as tears fell from her eyes without any warning.

She didn't know if it was because of the pain in her body or the pain in her heart knowing that in the end, no one was there to help her to go to the hospital in her delivery. She was afraid. Too afraid for there would be no hand, not like in the romance movies, to grasp on to release the pain.

She was alone.

But she had to do this; for her and her child. She needed none of Ryoma's help. She and her baby had lived without him and she was surer that they could continue living in his absence.

"We're here, ma'am," the taxi driver said, opening the door for her and helping her out.

"It's okay," she said smiling slightly and waving a dismissive hand to inform the driver that she was fine. "Here," she added as she reached for her pocket to pay for the fare.

"Thank you," the driver muttered. "Should I help you?"

"N-No thank you, I'm all right," she answered in her most confident tone.

0.0

"Echizen-san, you have to push harder," the doctor instructed.

She didn't know if she could still continue. She wanted to cry, but tried to stay strong hoping that it would all end soon.

"Push Echizen-san, more!" the doctor kept encouraging. "It would end soon, just try a little bit harder," he continued.

'I can't,' she thought. It was the only thing that was on her mind. She was too exhausted to continue.

"Echizen-san, I don't think both of you will make it if it goes on like this," she faintly heard him. "We need to do a caesarian section."

And then she was brought back to her senses. "N-No!" she feebly cried, shaking her head in disagreement. "I can deliver him normally…I can—" she pushed. Harder. With all her might. "We're strong…"

And then everything went black.

0.0

"I'm really sorry for that woman," a nurse said to her co-worker. "She was so brave to come here all by herself!"

The other woman gave a mocking expression, "But that woman is so selfish."

"I don't think so…" the former answered. "It's just that Echizen-san did not know the consequence of her decision."

"Of course, whenever a person commits a mistake, they always claim that they do not know. I just don't know how the doctor will explain everything to her. I hope she moves on," the other replied in sarcasm.

Unknown to these women, curious golden eyes of a man stared at them, listening as soon as he overheard their conversation.

"Yeah," the woman continued. "I want to visit her to see if she's all right. What's her room number again?"

The other woman sighed before answering, "Room 156? I think she's still sleeping. Anyway, you're too unprofessional. That's her life; don't go concerning yourself with matters that aren't your thing."

Although the seemingly younger woman looked saddened with the fact, she said, "Yes."

The mysterious man continued to watch the scene before him.

Room 156.

'Could she actually be here?'

0.0

Her eyes slowly opened as she regained her conscience.

Where was she again? Why was she in a white room? Is she still alive?

These questions popped out randomly in her mind. She couldn't seem to remember anything. And then it hit her. Her hand instinctively moved towards her stomach and felt that it was smaller than it was used to be for nine months.

"My baby…" she muttered, trying to scan the room even if she was too feeble to even move her head.

"Echizen-san, are you okay?" the doctor said in a soft soothing voice that made Sakuno want to relax.

She nodded, "Yes, where is he? My baby?" she said almost pleading.

"Calm down, Echizen-san." the doctor replied.

Her brows creased and her lips frowned. Why can't he just answer? "Where is he?"

"I'm afraid to tell you this, but your son is…gone." he said in a whisper.

Sakuno felt her eyes hot with tears that she knew shouldn't be forming in the first place, "I must have heard it wrong. Doc, my baby's all right, ne? He's healthy right? I can see him anytime soon, yes?" she desperately said, smiling all the while, keeping on talking as if she couldn't stop herself.

"Echizen-san, please calm down," the doctor ordered comfortingly.

But this hadn't pacified her, "How can I calm down?" Sakuno finally burst into tears. "What are you talking about? I don't understand you at all. My baby is strong. You said so, right? We've gone through everything together. He won't leave me. He knows that I need him. How can you just say he's…dead?" she said, bring both of her hands to her face… crying hard.

The doctor looked at her with sympathy, with no one to be by her side, it would be too hard to bear, "I'm really sorry. We tried our best…if we could have only did a caesarian section we could have—"

And then her cries got louder, "It was my fault! It was my fault for being so stubborn! I'm so selfish!" she said, her hand hitting her head repetitively. "I should have done something to save him. Why did I let him die?"

The doctor tried to stop her by injecting her tranquilizer. Although it wouldn't lessen the pain of losing her child, it should help her for a while.

"N-No…" she muttered before she lost her consciousness.

0.0

His eyes couldn't believe it. She was there…and crying at the loss of her baby. She had a baby. They had a baby.

Why didn't she tell him?

Why did he have to be so insensitive?

Couldn't contain himself anymore…he entered the room where he found her lying on the bed, unconscious.

"Excuse me," the doctor called, that made Ryoma turn to his direction. "Are you the husband?"

He was startled to hear the voice. Of course, her doctor was still there. "Yes, I am. Echizen Ryoma, please to meet you."

The doctor smiled and sighed as he approached him although his eyes never left his patient, "You're very lucky to have her. This woman is really brave."

Confused with what he said, Ryoma, too, only stared at his wife.

"She came here all by herself…with a smile, hoping that her son would soon be out." the doctor narrated. "With all courage she did her labor and delivered the baby by herself.

"When we said that she had to do caesarian section, she stubbornly said 'no' because she had faith in her baby that he would survive. Although unfortunately, he didn't.

"I even remember the times when she would come here by herself to do examinations and check-ups. Her cheerful smile when she found out that the baby was healthy and that it was a boy. And then the time when she was in the delivery…unconscious and muttering your name. Calling for help.

"I do not know the reason why you weren't there, but I hope that you will support her from now on. She really needs you." was the doctor's lengthy explanation before closing the doors of Sakuno's room, letting both her and her husband to be alone with no interruptions.

All this time she was alone. She never even called for her grandmother or her best friend's help. She survived without anyone's help.

And he knew he was too stupid to leave her.

He neared her bed and sat beside her. Although hesitating, he reached for her cheeks, trying to dry the tears that were fresh from her earlier outburst.

He couldn't think of any other person to blame but himself. If only he hadn't left, she wouldn't be suffering this much. If only he was there, he would be able to support and hold her hand. Only if he was there had he told her to do the caesarian operation to save the baby.

But only he wasn't.

Because he was too selfish and left her…without telling her the reason why. He was too busy thinking about himself that he had completely forgotten about her.

0.0

After an hour, she had finally wakened up. Slowly, she sat up and was immediately greeted by the face she had longed to see. Right then, she started to cry again.

"I'm sorry," was the only thing Ryoma could say.

But she didn't reply. The only thing she did was to cry…and cry more.

"You didn't ask for anyone's help." it wasn't a question but more of an accusing statement. 'And why didn't you tell me?' he wanted to add…but what right did he have after leaving her?

There was still no response. All she did was to stare at him as more tears fell from her eyes.

Seeing her right now made him realize that she was indeed too exhausted. She looked so vulnerable right then that he wanted to comfort and to embrace her. But he couldn't. Not now when she couldn't even talk to him.

But the unexpected happened; she opened her lips and whispered, "I'm really sorry."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, after all he did she was taking all the blame.

"It was my fault," she continued, her hands shaking. "If there's one person who should die…it should be me," she said and then it started again. She hit herself continuously that Ryoma was so startled to move.

"I'm sorry!" she cried out loudly.

Without a word, Ryoma couldn't keep himself from grabbing and hugging her. He knew she needed it most. And he knew himself that he needed her. He hadn't realized it until then that of all people it was her who strengthened him best. Right now, her presence kept him from crying. After all, she was Sakuno.

0.0

Both of them stared at the sky as they reminisced the past. He hoped that somehow…he could ease the pain that went through before. But she said that it was okay, that she had longed forgiven him…which made it harder for him to forget the guilt.

"What's his name?" he asked randomly surprising her in the process.

"His name? His name was Hiroki…Echizen Hiroki." she said with a subtle smile.

"Hn…Not bad," he said with a grin.

"He had been a good boy and took care of me while his dad's away," Sakuno further said with a pained look on her face that Ryoma didn't miss. "I'm sure he's happy from wherever he may be."

Although she, too, wanted to ask him one thing, 'Why did you quit tennis?' But she guessed it didn't matter anymore. From now on, knowing that he would be by her side was more than enough.

~End

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Author's Notes:

Finally, I got the chance to have a new story. Our classes are almost over that's why. Kyah~! Hope you enjoyed reading. I really made an effort to finish this as soon as possible. I would try my hardest to write a fiction per day. So let's look forward to that.

Thank you for reading and supporting my stories. I really appreciate them. Thank you so much!

Oh! And if you're asking why Ryoma was coincidentally at the hospital where Sakuno was at…it was because he had an injury that caused him to quit tennis. So yeah, I just decided to not include it in the story so the flow wouldn't be off.

By the way, the name "Hiroki" means strength. And... I'm not really sure about that so shoot me XDD.

Thanks to: Akemi-chan for editing my story and giving lots and lots of ideas XD and of course, again, to all my readers who supported and read my stories.

Date Published: October 24, 2009