Standard Disclaimer: Homestar Runner and Strong Bad and all the rest are the property of the Chapman Brothers. They most definitely do not belong to me.

Part I: Everything's Coming Up Homsar

It was a fine afternoon when Strong Bad, genius and definitely coolest guy in Free Country USA woke up on his basement couch. After shuffling the couch cushion he'd had his head under back into place, he proceeded to grope about for the remote.

"Ah, afternoon. So after...noon. What fine programming awaits Strong Bad right now?"

He clicked on the TV and began surfing channels with a lazy press of the button.

"Fluffy KennelPuff is the first canned desert food for dogs, and your Fido or Spot will love my ooey gooey flavor so much

they'll howl with delight and-"

CLICK

"Oh, that guy is just too creepy."

"Be sure to tune in to Channel 4 Action News for the latest story from our Action 4 News Chopper and-"

CLICK

"Man, too boring."

He clicked around for awhile, finding nothing but a stupid soap opera, and some dumb quiz show ("How Much Cheese Is in The Box? GUESS AND WIN!), and some dumb cartoons for the diaper-school set. Even the dinky little indie station had nothing on, unless you liked watching syndicated reruns of Becker (with Ted Danson)or infomercials for car wax or junk like that.

Strong Bad clicked around some more until he came back to Channel 4. The Channel 4 Action News anchor-guy-type-person was babbling excitedly about the newest story being covered by the Action 4 Channel Newscopter right there in Free Country USA.

"Oh, well, maybe it's a-one of those car chases or something."

The aerial footage from the 4 Channel News Actioncopter looked down on a knot of gawkers milling about a billboard that

was just about to be unveiled.

"Oh boo! What kind of town is it when something as totally not-exciting as this is considered to be great infortainment? Huh?"

The billboard was revealed to have a large picture of none other than...Homsar? Along with the words "EVERYBODY'S WILD ABOUT HOMSAR!"

"Oh that's just swell! A freakin' billboard for the midget? Man, it's getting to where you can't go anywhere without seeing that little weirdo's face on some stupid poster or something. Why can't I be on posters all over the place? Like standing on top of a cliff overlooking a majestic lake or something? It would be too awesome."

He huffily clicked away to Channel 7, where they were showing a commercial for a new sitcom. Strong Bad's eyes narrowed at the screen...

"Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the brand new show Homsar's Place, starring that wacky yukster Homsar and The Homestar Runner! Tomorrow at 8!"

Strong Bad hopped up from the couch in a rage. "WHAT?" "No way, a sitcom deal? What is going on here? Am I some sort of crazy or what?" He mashed the channel change button on the remote. And...

"Here on Channel Ten News our Food Reporter Natalie Smith will be joined in the studio for a new weekly segment 'Cookin' Tips with Homsar'. There'll be some great recipe hints and tips for you folks at hom-"

"Oh, that's it! THIS place is crazy! I can't even watch some fine television without running into Homsar! Man, a few weeks ago he was just that weird guy but now he's on MY tv a little too much! I gotta get out of here! Find something else to do!"

Strong Bad gathered himself up and marched out of the basement.

Yet he would not find solace strolling and gamboling and uh, jogwalking about Free Country USA.

Next: Out and About.