Disclaimer: Just putting it out there, everyone: I do NOT own D. Gray Man in any way shape or form… no matter how sexy… -emo- ! .; Er, I mean, enjoy the fic! ^^;;;

Half Blind~

They say seeing is believing, that if you can see something with your own two eyes, you can't possibly deny something's existence or truth. For someone like a bookman, who wanders the world specifically to see what others do not, life can be hard. That's because… you end up seeing a lot of things that you can't un-see. They linger in your mind, following you wherever you go, taunting you, haunting you, and you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, screaming. "Why couldn't I prevent this" you'd ask the darkness; but you'd never get an answer.

Lavi tossed and turned in his sleep, moaning softly. Blood flashed across the screen behind his eyelids, painting a grotesque portrait of battles long since passed. He writhed in his sheets, silently begging the memories to leave him, but they kept coming one after the other. Over time, many people asked about his right eye, but not once did he answer. The truth was too sad and horrible to admit. For that eye…only saw death. Then, in a flash, the battles changed, and familiar faces invaded his dreams. They were calm and happy at first; smiling, laughing, having a good time.. In the next moment, though, there was more blood. He saw the faces of his friends as they lie beaten and broken around him. He remembered all the difficult battles, and how hurt his comrades had gotten. They'd just barely managed to escape death on so many occasions… Lavi held his head. He was standing above his friends' unmoving bodies, trying to call them back to the world of the living, but none of them moved.

"No… stop it…! They lived! I know they did! Stop it!!" He turned, trying to avoid the sight of them, and instead, was faced with another.

"…Allen…?"

He was standing right in front of him, eyes wide as saucers with tears rolling down his face. Lavi couldn't understand what he was seeing. This wasn't something he'd seen before, so he couldn't explain it… that, or why he was sweating, breathing heavy, and why his arms felt heavy… Curious, he looked down… only to see his hammer. It made no sense why he would have it activated, or have it… Lavi gasped. The very tip of his hammer was dripping blood… Allen's blood.

"L…Lavi…" Allen sputtered, blood escaping through the hole in his stomach and flooding out his mouth. Lavi couldn't believe what was happening… startled, he took a step back, pulling the sharpened tip out of his friend's body, causing blood to spray all over.

"Allen… Allen, I…" The boy didn't respond. He tried to speak, reached out, but collapsed.

"A-Allen? ALLEN!!!"

--

Lavi awoke with a start, screaming at the top of his lungs until his voice was raw. Tears streamed over his cheeks and his breath came in short gasps as his room started to fade back into view. His hands shook and his lower lip quivered as he remembered what he had seen. What did it mean? What was happening to him? Or maybe… what was going to happen? He couldn't stand it. Each time he tried to relax and go back to sleep, Allen's shocked and pained expression would come back to haunt him. He finally reached his limit and couldn't take it. He threw the sheets off his trim body, slipped on some shoes and left. He didn't want to take te chance of waking any of his friends, but he wouldn't settle for walking. He sprinted all the way to a certain door, knocking harder than he intended to. When the door opened, he was panting again.

"Ji ji…" Bookman appeared calm, almost as if he'd been expecting him, and let him in without hesitation. Still shaky, Lavi took a seat on the untouched bed and grabbed a pillow, clutching it tight. Lavi's unease was more than obvious, and bookman handed him a cup of tea before seating himself on a nearby armchair. He gave the redhead a moment to take a drink and calm down before questioning him.

"What is it, Lavi? Did the dreams come back?" He nodded.

"I don't have them every night, but when I do, I can't stop them… They attack me left and right, and no matter how hard I try I can't-" He was starting to lose it.

"Calm down… take deep breaths." Bookman instructed, calmly. He'd seen lavi shaken up before, but to see him like this after so long… Lavi took another drink of the tea, trying his best not to spill any and sighed, setting a hand over his eye patch.

"I can't stand it, Ji ji… Why do I have to see these things…?"

"Mm… you're unique Lavi. That's why."

"Ch'… stupid reason…" He tried to perk up, to joke around, but the second he closed his eyes, the image came back and his eyes shot open. His hand clutched his head harder and Bookman narrowed his eyes at him.

"What did you see, Lavi?"

"….Something I didn't want to see… It was something new, Ji ji. It hasn't even happened…"

"…A premonition?" At that, Lavi jumped. Had he actually seen something that has yet to happen? Then, that would mean… He shook his pounding head; he wouldn't believe it! Lavi was really starting to freak out, and Bookman sighed. He got up, retrieved one of his needles and hid it in his sleeve as he approached his successor.

"Finish your tea, Lavi. You'll feel better once it's gone."

Lavi nodded his head and quickly downed the rest of the drink. When he was finished, he failed to notice the residue of white powder still sticking to the bottom of it. He held out his hand to hand it back, but his mind reeled, whole body going numb. The cup fell and Lavi fell back onto the bed, eyes blurring. Bookman came closer, quietly.

"Ji ji… my head… hurts…" Bookman sat next to him and brought out his needle. Lavi saw it in his swimming vision and closed his eyes as it was placed strategically into his forehead. Almost right away, the pain in his head started to fade. The old panda's needles sure were handy, he thought, drifting off.

"Arigatou…Ji ji…"

"Sleep well."

Lavi was out instantly, the drug having taken its full effect. Removing his needle,

Bookman sighed. Sometimes, the only way to calm Lavi down was to drug him and give him a night of dreamless sleep. The young apprentice hadn't explained what kind of vision he had seen, but to rise such a disturbing reaction, it must have been bad. He hoped, for Lavi's sake, that it was just a bad dream.