Rating: T
Genre: Humor/General
Summary: Thanks to GIR being...well...GIR, Zim now has a little something on the Tallest. How will he use (or abuse) his newfound power over them?
Chapter One:
For the first time since the start of Operation Impending Doom II, the planet of Conventia was swarmed with millions of small green aliens of the Irken race. The parking lot was overflowed with voot cruisers after just fifteen minutes of the gates opening. By the time half an hour had passed, the miniature ships were literally piled on top of one another. The sea of green aliens made its way to the main convention Hall, some rushing ahead in an attempt to secure a better standing area.
Two years had passed since the entirety of the Irken race had gathered in the enormous convention Hall. This time, the achievements and the failures of the Invaders would be paraded in front of the rest of the Irkens. Invaders who had successfully conquered their assigned planet would be invited to return home. Those who had not yet succeeded would be carefully evaluated, not to mention humiliated. Invaders deemed unable to complete their mission would be replaced, and virtually ostracized from society. Basically, it was an Invader's worst nightmare.
While the entirety of the Irken race assembled in the convention Hall, some standing quietly, some holding balloons, some munching on snacks and examining the useless stuff they had purchased in the gift shop, the Irken leaders, the Almight Tallest Red and Purple, reclined in a quiet and private room. The two ate snacks and drank fizzy soda. These moments were perhaps the only moments during which they allowed their guards to be dropped...which, as it turned out, wasn't entirely smart on this day. But they would know nothing of their mistake for a full five days.
Tallest Red belched loudly and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
"So," he said, turning his attention to his partner, Tallest Purple, "you ready to make our appearance or what?"
Purple sucked up the rest of his drink. He tossed it over his shoulder, belched obnoxiously, just as Red had, and nodded. Red pressed a button on the wall, and in response, a platform just large enough to fit the two of them rose from the floor, and a hole matching the width of the platform opened in the ceiling. It was all part of an intricate system that would transport the Tallest to the convention Hall by taking them through the ceiling, approximately three hundred feet to the left, and through the roof of the Hall.
Inside said Hall, the Irkens waited, some patiently and some not, for their Almighty leaders. When the voice of the Conventian announcer was heard saying, "And now, wave your antennae in salute for the Almighty Tallest", the crowd erupted into cheers. Right on cue, the platform rose from the ceiling, the two Tallest waving to their minions and looking smug.
"And now cue the lasers..." Red murmured to himself. To his dismay, it was not the lights of laser beams that suddenly filled their landing area, but purple-colored smoke.
"What the!"
Purple chuckled quietly to himself. It had cost him quite a lot of monies to get those five Irkens to dismantle the lasers and set up the smoke machine, but for the look on Red's face, it had been entirely worth it. As a matter of fact, Red was usually the one who delivered the opening speech, but by the time the platform had landed, he was still entirely speechless. Purple smiled widely and raised his arms.
"Community of Irk! I welcome you to this meeting! You know, except the drones who are outside cleaning up after the rest of you. Anyway! I would like you all to welcome to the stage...the mighty Irken Invaders of Operation Impending Doom II!"
In short...nothing happened.
Purple cleared his throat. "The mighty Irken Invaders of Operation Impending Doom II!"
This time, a large door to the side of the stage opened. The crowd looked on, expecting the crew of proud Invaders to enter the stage. Unfortunately, this wasn't what happened. The door opened up to reveal a slew of unconscious Invaders, one still being beaten in the head by a seemingly-defective SIR unit with glowing cyan eyes. Standing in front of the scene, his hands on his hips (or lack thereof), was Invader Zim.
Purple looked on, slack-jawed, as Red found his voice.
"Wha-what are you doing here?" he exclaimed, pointing at Zim with a long green finger.
Zim entered the Hall and stood center-stage in front of the Tallest. "Eh?" He scratched the top of his head as GIR went on beating the rest of the Invaders senseless. "I came for the ceremony, of course. To evaluate the Invaders."
"But...y-you're not supposed to be here!" Purple exploded.
"Wha? Why not?"
"B-Because..." Red paused in an attempt to think of a tactful reason. "Because you don't need to be evaluated! You're doing such a good job, you...you might as well just go home. Run along, now."
Zim didn't budge. "Everyone else gets to stay for the ceremony! Why can't I? Why can't I just watch?"
Red was going to deliver another tactful response, but before he could, Purple cut in, "Because we don't want you here, okay? You got it? Is that clear to you? Besides, if you stay, you'll just ruin things!" He glanced at the unconscious Invaders and added, "As though you haven't already!"
For a minute, Zim's strong stance didn't falter, and he kept eye-contact with the Tallest that had addressed him. Then the words hit him all at once, and as they processed, he slumped forward and dropped his eyes to the ground, ashamed.
"I see..." He picked himself up again, attempting to look unwounded. "Well! I guess...I guess I'll be off now!" He turned to the crowd and waved. "See you all again when I conquer Earth! Yeah...well...see ya!" He marched off towards the exit, yanking GIR away from the Invader he had been pummeling.
When the sorry excuse for an Invader had vanished from view, Red turned bitterly to the audience.
"I suppose we'll resume the ceremony as soon as the Invaders regain consciousness."
Back on Earth, Zim paced around his living room fitfully. How could the Tallest say that to him? He had been nothing but help to the Irken Armada since the day he graduated from training school! He just couldn't understand what had brought about this sudden change. He had always been well-liked before! Revered, even!
"Let's play, Pig!"
Zim narrowed his eyes and suppressed a mental breakdown as the sounds of a squeaky toy being feverishly squeezed pounded in his brain.
"GIR! If you must do that, go upstairs where I can't hear you!"
The robot looked up at its master and grinned widely. "Okie-dokie!" He began to make his way to the staircase, when he suddenly remembered something, and approached his master.
Zim sighed, exasperated. "Yes, GIR?"
The top of GIR's head opened, and the small robot inserted his hand and rummaged around. After a few seconds, he produced a small, rectangular object and handed it to his master.
Zim turned it over in his hands a few times, examining it. "GIR? What is this?"
GIR shrugged, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. "I don't know. I stole it from the Dib-human a few days ago. I'm kinda bored with it now, so you can have it! I'm gonna go play with Pig now! Bye!"
Confused, Zim turned the object over in his hands a few times more. On the back – or was it the front? – there was a small screen. The rest of the object seemed to be covered with buttons. Zim pressed one on a whim, just to see what would happen. There was a quiet "beep!", and the screen lit up, causing Zim to jump in surprise. He pressed another button, and a picture appeared on the newly lit screen.
"A...camera that stores pictures!"
The first picture was not interesting to Zim in the least. It was just a picture of a cloud that looked somewhat like a foot, no doubt taken by the Dib-stink. Zim examined the buttons on the camera, found one shaped like an arrow pointing to the right, and pressed it. A new picture appeared on the screen, this time a neat circle of grass that had been trampled down. The alien pressed the button repeatedly, looking through the pictures quickly and without much interest.
Suddenly, something made him stop. Too shocked to scream or even gasp, he held Dib's digital camera in one shaking hand, hardly believing what he saw right in front of him.
It was a picture of the Tallest, slightly blurry and obviously taken through a window. It was a picture of the Tallest in their private room on Conventia. They were sans their usual uniform.
And they couldn't have been more than three feet tall.