I don't own T&S, the original fic was written by the brilliant: gabriel and standbyme.

It had been two days since Dean returned to Cas.

He had been nothing but apologies, tears, and kisses.

Cas knew Dean felt bad- he also knew he was extremely tired, still getting over the war. But you could never really get over something like that, could you? The thought scared Cas. His fears had been confirmed when Dean had left him- when he hadn't heard from him, his bags packed and half of the closet vacant, he began to question even his own life. Without Dean, what would he do? How could he go on?

So when he got that call from Dean two agonizing days later, hearing him strangely sober through the line after a blur of many drunken months, Cas felt like his heart might fail from the sheer relief of it all. His Dean was coming back. It was all right. He would have him in his arms again.

Cas forgave him easily. He didn't want to- he wanted to be angry with him, he wanted Dean to know just how much it had hurt Cas as well to see him like that, and to not be able to do anything about it. But he couldn't bring himself to subject Dean to any more pain. Even after everything, he now loved him just as truly, gave himself to Dean just as passionately, and was always there when Dean needed him, sexually or emotionally.

They were getting it. They were getting back into their old routine, and Cas was too happy to even think of the events in the past year. The war had taken the puzzle they had built of their lives and wrecked it, scattering the pieces far apart from each other. But what mattered was, they were back together again, and though the cuts and bruises of Dean's memories were still somewhat present, everything was healing gradually, the pieces of their puzzle falling back into place.

The two sat on the couch together, the breeze absent in the hot June weather of 1972.

Dean was in his cargo pants and white undershirt, greasy from stains from a time ago when Dean would play with bike parts. Cas was dressed in his boxers with his blue dress shirt unbuttoned halfway.

"Baby?" Dean murmured, eyes half lidded as his head laid on Cas' lap. The television gleamed absently in the lenses of Cas' glasses as Dean looked up to him.

Cas looked down, realizing idly he had been fiddling a little with the hem of Dean's shirt. "Yes?" Dean stared at him for a long time, before licking over his lips thoughtfully and turning back to face the TV.

"You heard of that new place that opened a few hours away from here?" Cas looked down again curiously, brushing his fingers tenderly over the curve of Dean's stomach. "What new place?" "The one that that guy made... that Walt Disney."

Cas thought for a second. "Oh... that's hardly a new place, it opened quite a few years ago." Dean shrugged. "It's new for us, isn't it?" He was silent for a second. "Looks like a good time, huh?" Cas opened his mouth. "It looks interesting. Lots of sights to see... the attractions look crazy."

Dean twisted his body so that he was fully facing Cas. "Why don't we take a day... go for a drive down the country, why don't we? I wanna show my boy a good time. I want to forget all of this... the apartment's getting stuffy."

Cas was speechless. Dean was smiling slightly, and Cas couldn't deny that the idea of visiting a place so extravagant, especially with his darling, was at least exciting to him. "Where would we get the money, baby?"

Dean cleared his throat, shifting a little. "'Nam paid off, remember Cas?" Cas quickly righted himself, wincing a little after realizing what he brought up.

"Sorry, yeah, just... I'm a little scattered today, sorry."

Dean sat up, and reached up, grazing a hand across his cheek. "Don't be sorry. Look at me, baby- don't you be sorry for anything anymore, okay?" He sighed. "Nobody lives long- I saw that when I was... over there, and I see it clearly now. So what we gotta do, is live while we can, and be happy while we can. There's no time for apologies or regrets, Cas. We're gonna live this time. Okay? We're gonna live this time."

Cas smiled, tears welling up in his eyes, and they brought their mouths together, tasting their sweet lips on each other and locking them in an unspoken bond. "I love you," Dean whispered. "I know," Cas whispered back, and they smiled, gazing into each others' eyes in comfortable silence.

Dean spoke up. "The TV's bringing me down... how's about we shut it off, throw a record on, and..." Dean's fingers trailed down Cas' arm, and Cas shivered with a smile, pushing his glasses back up his nose as they slid down. "I like that idea," he mumbled.

The next day, finally getting out of the apartment, Dean borrowed Bobby's truck, the same one they had used when they visited the beach.

"Dammit!" Dean suddenly shouted, hitting the steering wheel suddenly as they drove down a winding road, "I forgot the polaroid!" Cas grinned, reaching into a flap bag at his feet. "I didn't." Dean relaxed, and grinned back, joining his hand with Cas'. "You see? You're so smart."

Cas blushed, and Dean patted his hands against the wheel absently to Brown Eyed Girl.

"Standing in the sunlight laughing..." Dean grinned, "Hide behind a rainbow's wall...slipping and a-sliding...all along the waterfall..." Cas smiled with him, looking out the window, "With you, my blue-eyed boy... You, my blue-eyed boy." Cas laughed out loud, and shook his head.

"You changing the lyrics is a horrible attempt at getting me to like modern music." Dean made a face. "You call this modern? This was, what, four years ago?" Cas rolled his eyes. "It's modern for me." Dean felt a smile tug at his lips as he admired the way Cas' hand deftly rubbed at his own neck, scratching along some of the stubble that had grown.

"All right. I know," Dean said, reaching over and twisting the knob, "I'll find my baby's favourite."

Then Elvis came on through the speakers, changing from first the upbeat groove, then the harsh static, now to the soft, lulling voice of as' favourite singer.

Dean smiled over at him, and Cas smiled back, squeezing his hand. "That's much better," he said playfully. Dean turned his eyes to the road, squinting and singing along to whatever words he knew of the song Love Me Tender.

They drove for quite a ways, until they came to a sign that had cursive letters spelling, 'Disneyland' on it. Cas felt his heart beat faster. This was surreal- he was enjoying a day with Dean in Southern California, and couldn't contain how ecstatic he was. He took out the polaroid, and snapped a picture, capturing the moment.

"I love you," he suddenly said, unable to keep it in. "I love you too," Dean smiled, and they drove past the sign.

The hustle and bustle was great- there were people everywhere, and even people dressed up in costumes. Cas laughed; they were funny, jumping around and posing for pictures with people.

Cas snapped two photos, one of a dancing chipmunk character, and the other of a pretty looking fountain at the front gates, the water cascading beautifully in the printed picture.

"You're a natural at that, you know," Dean mumbled, walking alongside him. Cas blushed, fitting the camera back into his bag. "I just want to remember this day, that's all."

Dean smiled, and Cas wished with his everything he could just throw his arms around Dean that very moment, bringing them closer together out here, around people...

But he kept to himself, following as they came to an employee wearing a red and white striped suit.

"Hi there," the boy smiled. His nametag read, 'Welcome to Disneyland- I'm Samandriel.' Dean and Cas smiled at him, and Dean took some bills out of his pocket. "Hi. Just for the day." Samandriel got a better look at them, and nodded slowly, looking between the two with obvious curiosity behind his eyes.

Dean looked down, jutting his thumb over to Cas.

"My cousin's from Wisconsin, he's never been here. Great luck, that today's so nice out for him, huh?" Cas exhaled, and pasted a smile on his face. Samandriel gave a bright smile, more relaxed now. "Oh, yeah. We've been getting some wonderful weather lately- brings everyone in!" "Yeah, I'd guess."

He gave Dean and Cas a stamp that looked like a mouse, and waved cheerily. "Have a nice day." Cas and Dean thanked him, and as they walked through the gates, they let their arms brush lightly against each other, as a sort of compromised version of holding hands in public.

"Look at this," Dean marvelled, gazing around, and Cas looked. There were lots of rides, teacups, a carousal, a huge mountain, a tall wooden structure that seemed to have water flowing through it, a ride with a skull and cross bones on it, and to top it all off, a huge castle in the middle. Cas was visually overwhelmed.

He gripped lightly onto Dean's mackinaw, resetting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "This is amazing... I... Dean, I've never been anywhere like this... it really is magic." Dean smiled. "A nice change of scenery, huh?"

He let his fingers just barely graze Cas' hand as he pretended he was fixing his button.

"Where should we go to first?" he asked, and Cas looked around. "I want to try the teacups, can we go there first?" Dean resisted the urge to kiss the top of his head. "Of course we can, baby."

They made their way over, and Cas gently took out the video camera he had also brought. He looked through the lens at the spinning mechanisms, smiling in delight.

"Here," Dean said, beckoning for Cas to hand it off. Cas gave the camera over, and Dean filmed Cas watching the cups, leaning against the rail. Cas looked over, blushing in front of the screen. "I don't look my best today, Dean," he muttered, shielding his face a little, "The sun is making me look sweaty."

Dean barked a laugh, steadying the camera. "You look fine. You look more than fine, you look... absolutely beautiful," he murmured, low enough that only the camera heard him. Cas dropped his hand with a grin, and gave a wave. Dean gave the camera back, and Cas filmed Dean as he watched the ride.

"Those look scarier than riding my bike," he chuckled, and Cas laughed. "Let's go find out." Dean ducked his head, grabbing the camera, and they put it away as they got on.

The ride began to move, and instinctively, Cas' hand flew to Dean's knee, gripping it tightly as they spun around. He laughed a little, and Dean revelled in the sound.

He had missed that sound while he was gone. Though he didn't want to think about it that day, he couldn't help it. It seemed almost like a dream- only a few months ago, he was submerged in living hell, where everywhere you looked, there was a dead kid, or some John Doe's blood on a tree trunk that his family would never see again.

They spun.

But hearing Cas' laugh again across from him reminded Dean that this was real. They had made it through, just as he had promised Cas, and he always kept his promises.

They spun and spun.

He thought back to Adam, wondering how the kid would react to this place. He'd probably act tough, refusing to go soft on a place like this, but he'd love it with child like wonder. It made him feel a little sad.

They spun, and Cas rubbed his leg against Dean's. "You okay, baby?" he asked, and Dean smiled back. "I'm okay," he replied, and hooked their feet together.

When the ride was over, it was as if Dean had just stepped out of a bar again. His head was spinning, he felt like throwing up, but the one thing that wasn't constant was the feeling of dread in his stomach. He didn't have that this time- he felt exhilarated, and this time, he was drunk on Cas' smile, not alcohol.

"Dean, we have to do that again," he said, breathless, and Dean groaned. "I love you, I do, but..." Dean panted, "Not happening again." Cas pouted, and flicked the back of Dean's hand. "I'm going again. Wait for me." Dean smiled, admiration twinkling in his eyes as he watched his boy. "There's nowhere I gotta be," he mumbled, half to himself, and Cas got on.

Dean took out the camera that Cas had left with him, and decided to film a little of Cas on the cups. There was an almost visible aura around him that simply radiated contempt, and Dean had no choice but to save the moment. He was beautiful when he smiled that wide.

When he got off, Cas huffed indignantly. "Were you filming me?" Dean grinned, and Cas pursed his lips in a way so cute it made Dean reel. "We won't have any film left!" Dean smiled. "I couldn't help it... you looked so good... my baby looked so good out there."

Cas looked into his eyes, and turned. "What's that?" he asked, pointing over to the drifting logs. Dean shrugged. "Let's go see." They walked over, and when they went in, it was like stepping into a woodland area- they had never experienced something like this before.

There were animals everywhere, and though Dean suspected this way a ride for kids, it made Cas smile, so they got on.

They were the only ones in their log, and Dean decided to take advantage of that. "Hey," he said, and Cas looked over to him. The waves around the log were sloshing against them as they went along, making a sound as if waves were crashing around them, surrounding them in their blissful pull.

"I love you," he whispered, and the water lapped at the log in a soft sound.

Crash.

"I love you," he repeated, his eyes crinkling.

Crash.

"I love you," Cas finished, smiling as they listened to the bright music and gentle water run around them.

But everything comes to an end.

The ride ended sooner than they would have liked, but they got off, opting to venture to a different, new, exciting one. The day was far from over- they were living.

"Let's go to that pirate one."

They went over, and followed a passage that other people were walking down. They followed right until they came to a dock-sort of area, and Cas gaped at the whole thing.

They got into a boat- an actual boat!- and set sail off into dark waters down a tunnel.

"Look, baby," Dean whispered into his ear, "You finally got that boat ride you wanted."

Cas nodded, drinking in all the sights around him.

"Dean, I want to kiss you," he said softly, and Dean was a little surprised, as Cas was usually the one worried about people seeing them or finding out.

Cas looked around, and repeated what he had said, his hand shifting close to Dean's groin. "I want to kiss you right now."

It was dark... nobody could see... it was far too dark for anyone to see...

The day was like a dream in itself- maybe the dream would continue, and they could pretend, just for a moment, that they were back in that alley in 1965.

But before they could do anything, they floated deeper, and suddenly, there was a rush of water. The boat dropped.

"Dean!" Cas cried out, gripping onto him, and Dean out an arm around his waist discreetly. "It's okay... that was supposed to happen." Cas blushed, and nudged his glasses up, straightening himself.

Dean laughed, and soon, they came to a scene with a beach, passing by scraps of bones, rags of clothing, and seagulls milling around. Cas wrinkled his nose a little. "I like our beach better." Dean smiled fondly, and they touched hands beneath the seat.

Then, the air seemed to change a little, and they were in a new area, floating through what seemed to be some sort of battle between pirates and kingsmen.

Water was splashing up around them, and Cas laughed, jerking slightly as droplets got onto his glasses. Dean looked around.

Canons.

Guns.

Bullets.

Loud sounds.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and not realizing it, he had begun to grip Cas' hand tighter as the sounds grew louder in his ears.

Cas looked over, and worry creased his brow. Dean would flinch every time a canon went off, and his body was shaking a little. Cas watched, and even saw a small tear gather in his eye. Cas searched for something to do, and suddenly, biting his lip, he lifted Dean's face, kissing him.

Dean's eyes widened, and he was surprised at how calm Cas seemed about this. He wasn't checking in paranoia around them to see if anyone else in their boat was watching.

He held the kiss, deepening it, and Dean brought his hand up to cup Cas' cheeks, the embrace making him forget about the gunfire and draping him in the comfort of his love.

When they pulled away, Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder, and Cas stroked his hair. "Shhh... it's okay... it's okay, baby... I've got you..."

They sat up again as the ride approached light again, the sunlight from outside temporarily blinding them. Cas squeezed Dean's hand one last time reassuringly, and they got out, thanking the assistant.

Dean looked into the distance. "I'm sorry..." he said, his voice cracking, "I promised I wouldn't make this about that... we've thought about that god damn monstrosity too much to last a lifetime... God, I can't forget it, Cas..."

Cas sat down with him by an ice cream shop, and Dean wiped his eyes, fumbling with a pack of cigarettes and shakily lighting one.

After a second Cas allowed for Dean to muster up energy to talk, Dean spoke.

"I'm sorry I let you down," he whispered, and Cas felt the mended cracks in his heart break a little again as he watched Dean fall apart. "I'm sorry I left you... I was so scared... I was scared, and you thought you would have to cope alone, and..."

Cas stopped him, looking around before ghosting his hand over Dean's leg. "Stop. No more apologies, remember? We're living again... We don't have to forget what happened, we just need to accept that it's over. Dean, we've got each other now. Nobody can stop that anymore- not the army, not my landlord, not Hester, not anybody. You're not alone. Not ever."

Dean looked at him, and Cas slid his ring finger into Dean's fist, stroking. Dean sniffed, smiling a little as he felt himself gradually relax.

"You know how badly I want to put a ring on that and marry you?" Cas smiled. "How badly?" "More than I love when the snow is late in the year..." he said quietly, "More than I love watching the Twilight Zone with you in the evenings... more than I love the taste of cigarettes early in the morning... more than I love racing," he chuckled, and paused.

"I would marry you."

Cas smiled, looking off into the distance, replying with two, sure words.

"One day."

Dean looked off too.

Just then, they heard some people whispering behind them and Dean nonchalantly turned to see a girl that sounded like she had a British accent and a dark-skinned girl looking at them. He thought he heard the word 'funny' muttered, so he sighed, getting up. "We should go," he told Cas, crushing his smoke, and so Cas followed.

They decided to stop off into the Ice Cream Shoppe before they left as the sun went down.

As they walked in, the employee who worked there tipped his hat at them. His nametag read, 'Benny', and Dean looked at him. "Hi. Could we get two milkshakes please?" "Comin' right up," he said smoothly, and Dean could tell he had worked the place a while.

Benny studied them for a second as he waited for the milk to mix.

"You two queer?"

Cas' head snapped up, and Dean scratched his neck, avoiding eye contact. "Uh... uh-" "Hey, no need to get squirmy about it. Just askin'," Benny shrugged, softening his smile, "You won't see me runnin' and tellin' nobody."

They didn't speak much after that, and when the shakes were ready, Benny put two cherries on them.

"Here you are. Have a nice day," he said, and the two smiled back at him, appreciative smiles.

They walked out slowly, Cas depositing his cherry over to Dean's whipped topping.

They walked.

"Maybe times are changing," Dean mumbled. "Maybe they are," Cas agreed, "But we still can't risk anything." They nodded, making their way out.

Just before they went, Cas stopped, gazing back. "Wait," he said, jogging over to someone dressed in a costume. She had long red hair, and what looked like a sparkly green mermaid tail.

Dean watched curiously as the costumed person made a welcoming gesture, and Dean was even more curious when he was beckoned over.

He joined them, and the girl smiled sweetly. The person accompanying her asked Dean for his camera, and he realized what Cas had asked. Dean went on the other side of the character, and in a second, the flash went off, capturing that moment forever.

Cas smiled at her. "Thank you- you remind me of the beach." She touched his shoulder with another smile, and waved gracefully as they walked away.

"What was that for?" Dean smirked. Cas smiled. "It's not every day you get to take a picture with a mermaid." Dean had to laugh, and he went so far as to twine their arms as they returned to the car, their dream coming to an end for a while as they returned to their day by day work of mending what was so badly scarred.

"Let's go home, baby."

A/N: Thanks for reading! I was originally going to add an ending here where all of this was just a delusion of Cas' right before he died in the hospital, but I'm not that mean, so consider this an alternate happy ending to lift your spirits! x