A/N: Well here is my new story. It was an idea that I couldn't get out of my head. I got already like 6 chapters and many many more ideas. I hope everyone likes it. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Review and you will get a kiss from Edward. Also if you haven't read my other story go check it out. It's called Going after him. And to everyone that has read Going After Him, do not fret I have not abandoned that story I was just literally losing sleep from this story being stuck in my head, no joke. So I had to write it out. I will be updating it soon within the next couple days. So here is a summary of this story.
Bella Swan and Emmett Cullen have been a couple for 3 years. But they both have secrets and are tired of living lies. Bella use to be bestfriends with Edward who is Emmetts brother but Edward stopped talking to her when her and Emmett started dating. What will happen? Will they all make it through the things that are going to happen friendships still intact, will they all end up happy or miserable. AxJ, BxEm, BxE & RxEm.
Sorry if it's lame I couldn't think of a good enough summary without giving up to much info. And this is in no way a Bella and Emmett story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
And I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel right when your gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore
~~~~Broken-Seether ft./ Amy Lee
Piecing Together My Shattered HEart
Chapter 1: My Secrets
BPOV
I was just laying on my bed with my face buried in the pillow. I'm not trying to sound selfish, I know there are people out there who are worse off than me; but still all things considered my life sucks. I couldn't wait for the next two hours to be over. Than I'd feel a little better. Have a little release from the secrets I keep and the lies I live. Heres the 411 on me. My name is Bella (Isabella) Swan. I'm 16 but I will be 17 in a few months. I'm about to start my Junior year in High School. I live in Forks, Washington. A small town about four hours away from Seattle. Forks is almost always under a constant cover of rain and clouds. But I'm use to it. I've lived here my whole life. I'm an only child and I live with my mom Renee and my Dad Charlie. Charlie is the chief of police in this small town; Renee teaches kindergarten.
Everyone in this town is pretty nice and it's such a small town that obviously I know everyone and everyone knows me. Not my favorite thing, I do not like attention. There are only five people in this town that I really like and really know even. Theres my best friend . She looks like a pixie; her names Mary Alice Cullen. But eveyone calls her Alice unless they have a death wish. She's about 4'10", short black hair that sticks up everywhere in different directions (it looks awesome on her) and emerald green eyes. Alice is 17 and she is absolutely beautiful. She is extremely hyper, loves to shop, and can get down right mean if she wants too; a little scary actually. Than there is my other best friend Rosalie Hale. Rose is about to turn 18 and she is starting her Senior year. There is only two words that accurately describe Rosalie 'gorgeous bitch'. She's about 5'10" with legs that go for miles. The perfect body that guys drool over, long wavy blond hair and blue eyes. She's also a major bitch if you get on her bad side; which most people have. Luckily for me and Alice we are her best friends.
Jasper Hale is Rosalie's brother and the love of Alice's life. Jasper is also 17, he's tall muscular and has blond hair and blue eyes. Extremely handsome. Next comes Emmett, my boyfriend. Emmett is huge. He's about 6'2 and extremely well built, curly brown hair and green eyes. He is Alice's older brother. Emmett just turned 18 a few monhs back and is starting his Senior year as well. He plays football, runs track, and wrestles. Did I mention that I hate the fact that Emmett is my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong I love Emmett, just not in a romantic way at all. See the thing is Alice's family lives next door to me. I've known them my whole life. Our parents are best friends and have been since they were kids.
Rosalie and Jaspers live across the street from us, but their parents aren't as close to our parents. Our parents grew up together here in Forks, after college they all came back. The Hales moved here when Jasper was four and Rosalie was five. They are friends with our parents, they just don't take their vacations with all of us and all that unlike mine and Alice's families. If the Cullens go somewhere the Swans go and vice versa. But back to the subject. As I said our parents have been friends forever. Alices moms name is Esme and her dads name is Carlisle; Carlisle and Esme Cullen. For some reason, to which I still do not understand in the slightest, our parents seem to think that Emmett and I are suppose to be together. Makes no sense to me, we have nothing in common.
I remember hearing about it, and having it pounded into my head since I was about six. I don't know whatever made them come to this decision, especially when we were so young but they did. Only problem being I didn't actually like Emmett. I don't know how Emmett really feels about me and if I am continuiing to be honest I truly do not care. Our parents decided when Emmett was 14 that we were old enough to start to 'date'. Meaning they took us to the movies together, we studied together, little innocent shit like that. I guess you could say we were dating, so we have been a couple ever since, about 3 years now. We make it work. And supposedly everyone some how believes it. We do not talk much and when we do it is playful banter. Like we are friends, and still no one realizes that that is what we really are.
We do not have sex, make out and the only time we kiss is if other people are around and it's expected. Even then it is just a light peck on the lips. I guess people just think we are being modest , but really we have never kissed more than that. He could just be waiting for me to tell him I am ready for more, but I doubt it. I am pretty sure his feelings for me are the exact same as mine for him; strictly platonic. When we are alone, which isn't often we do not act like a couple. Who knows what people think, I am sure everyone assumes I have sex with him. I don't like that people think that, but what else am I suppose to do. We try to avoid group dating situations at all cost. We've never talked about it, but I have noticed how one of us is always making an excuse to get out of doing whatever it is.
All in all we are both troopers. We stick it out and we are together like our parents expect us to be. We just go with the flow and try to put on as good of a show as possible so that people believe we are really a couple and happy. At least thats what I do. After all this time I still wasn't sure how people truly believed it. There was no way I was that good of an actress; I am a horrible liar. But still I persevere, no matter how miserable I truly am.
The last person in our little group is Edward. Edward is Alice's twin brother, so obviously he is Emmetts younger brother too. Him and Alice just turned 17 last week. Edward is about 6'0", he's not as muscular as Jasper or definitely no Emmett; but he has a awesome body. His hair is always messy everywhere, but it looks good on him. Not many people would be able to pull it off but Edward does. The color of his hair is unusual and unique; it's bronze, it's awesome and it looks so good on his pale skin. He has emerald green eyes like Alice and Emmett except his our deeper and they sparkle. He plays football and runs track, but his one true passion is playing the piano and he is amazing at it. I may have forgot to mention that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward.
To me Edward Anthony Cullen is perfection. His voice, smell, looks; how brilliant he is, how funny he can be and of course the piano playing. AHHHH!!!!!! I just adore him. And in that is where my true misery lies. Edward Cullen. It is a torturous thing to be in love with your boyfriends brother. But I've always been in love with Edward. There was a part of me that hoped he loved me too and that people would realize we were both in love with each other. And after our parents realized that they would not expect me to be with Emmett. I guess you could say it was my fairytale because of course that did not happen. Fairytales do not come true. And me being one to not ever like to disappoint anyone just sucked it up and went with the original plan. Bella and Emmett.
Edward and I actually use to be best friends. I was still best friends with Alice back than too; I just hung out with Edward more. We have always had more in common. I remember when I first realized I was in love with Edward. Hell I remember when I first realized I liked him more than a friend. I was like eight. Thats a long time to like someone, and he is the only boy I have ever liked in that way. I was about twelve when I realized I was in love with him.
I am always constantly aware of Edward. Every word he says, every move he makes. I can tell you what kind of mood he is in just by what he is wearing. My whole existence revolves around him; in secret. To everyone else he's just my friend. Now don't judge me. I have been in love with Edward forever. Like I truly believed my parents would actually stick to the idea of me and Emmett. But even if I had always been sure , I am positive I would be in love with him anyway. I never meant to fall for Edward. It just happened; everything about him is right to me. It seems to me like we just fit together perfectly. I have always felt drawn to him. Like I had to be near him or I wasn't complete. I remember feeling this odd attachment to him even when we were younger. But as I said before everyone did stick to their ideas of me and Emmett, so I kept my feelings bottled up.
As hard as it has been to love him from a distance for five years, and let me tell you it is hard. I have done just that. Sometimes I feel like it's just going to explode out of me. I honestly do not understand how anyone hasn't realized the truth of it all and called me on it. I always find myself doing little things for Edward or going out of my way for him. Even if whatever it is hurts me. Anything to make him happy. He always seems so sad, not like the Edward I use to spend everyday with. Most the time I don't even realize I've done something until after the fact or until I'm starting whatever I am going to do for him. It's crazy! Their unconscious decisions. I told you my whole being revolves around Edward Cullen. I never do anything for Emmett. Nothing special anyway.
I think I am close to snapping soon. I am not a liar by nature, I am a honest person and I feel like I am deceiving everyone. Myself and Emmet especially. Is this really fair to either of us. It all seems to be piling on top of me. My heart always feels so heavy. I feel like I am suffocating from it. I honestly don't think I can keep up the cherade much longer. I think the only thing that keeps me doing it is I hate to disappoint people. I do not deal well with feeling guilty and all it would take is one guilt trip from my parents and I would go back to this fraud that is called a relationship. How can Emmett stand it. We are really good FRIENDS so maybe he is afraid of hurting me. He might think I am actually in love with him. Emmett is not stupid but he is not known for being observant.
The very worst part of this whole thing is Edward hates me. No matter what I do for him it's like I didn't do anything. It's like I am not even here. He stopped being my best friend. Hell who am I kidding he has damn near even stopped being my friend at all. If it wasn't for the fact that we have the same friends we wouldn't even associate. I am sure of that. I use to try all the time but it was like talking to myself for as much as he would respond so I gave up eventually. Right before me and Emmett became a couple Edward told me that we couldn't be best friends anymore. He said "what would people think about us getting older and spending so much time together", "girls that wanted to date him were jealous of my relationship with him and that wasn't fair." And he also said "that when me and Emmett got together he didn't think that Emmett would like the idea of me and him together all the time." I honestly didn't think Emmett would care.
He said we would always be friends just not inseperable like before. Yeah right! As the year progressed and high school came closer the more he distanced himself from me. Sometimes I think I never was his bestfriend like he was mine. That maybe he just tolerated me; that I pushed myself and friendship on him. Which made sense to me, I never really understood why he hung out with me so much in the first place. I'm just plain Jane Bella. Theres nothing remotely interesting about me. I read all the time; thats what I like to do. And Edward well he's amazing. I'm shy and he use to be outgoing. I'm not so sure what happened to him the last couple years. I am not good at anything; I mean I get good grades in school and I can cook really good but whats exciting about that. Edwards good at everything.
He acted like he didn't even care, like it didn't even bother him at all to tell me we could not be best friends anymore and than distancing himself. Never, not even one time did he act sad or like he regretted it. He just did it, the hell with how Bella felt. I cried my eyes out when he told me and for the first year or more I cried myself to sleep everynight. Eventually he had pulled away so much I became numb to it. I knew it would only get worse til eventually he wasn't even here and I had no idea where he was. It hurts so bad to not be with him, let alone not even be his friend. Everyday for three years now I have felt like another piece of my heart has fallen off and shattered. He is so cold to me. He barely even acknowledges me. Something in him changed and he became so cruel almost and distant, withdrawn even. Jasper is his best friend, but he still most of the time is at home alone. He barely does anything besides things he has to do like school and sports.
Oh and of course he still manages to go out with at least one of his sluts every week, if not more. Thats what Edward does, he doesn't have girlfriends, no he sleeps with every chic available. I think I would rather he be with just one chic than sleep with everyone. He was only suppose to be with me, sleep with me. I was just thankful that he never brought them back to his house to screw them. Our windows were right across from each others and I would hate to have to hear or god forbid see him have sex with anyone else. I think if I did I would really go kill myself. Thats just one thing I do not think I could handle. The thought of him touching and kissing someone else makes my stomach quesy and I feel like I can't breathe. I think I have at least one anxiety attack everyday. But regardless of however many girls he has slept with in this town I do not care and he is still perfect to me.
I think I could deal with being with Emmett and not being with Edward if I at least had him as my friend still. Maybe not best friend anymore, that I could deal with, but at least friend. I could push aside my love for him; hell thats pretty much what I do now I guess. Just not really directly to Edward since he doesn't even talk to me. I would be so happy just to have that again. But not even having his friendship was slowly killing me. I honestly think I might be suicidal.
I know I need to get up off this bed, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Just another hour and a half. I looked up briefly at the clock. I was pushing it with the time. Alice would be here soon. Huh!!! I wanted them to hurry and be gone, but I didn't want to go outside this room and deal with it until they were gone. Just a little bit longer, Bella. Little bit longer and at least I wouldn't have to put up such a show for almost two months. Sweet Relief.