50 THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN IN BREAKING DAWN THAT WILL MAKE ME PROTEST STEPHANIE MEYER!!
Anything happens to Edward (AT ALL!)
Any vampire dies
Any werewolf dies
Bella dies
Jacob stops the wedding
Bella/Edward ends up with anyone except Edward/Bella
Tanya. (I know she's already there... but it's still upsetting!!)
The Volturi kidnaps Bella
Jacob imprints on Tanya
Charlie dies/ is injured
Renee and Phil breakup
Anything happens to Edward
Edward doesn't change Bella
Alice and Jasper fight
Bella and Rosalie go into death combat mode
Lauren/ Jessica screws anything up
Edward decides the good thing would be to leave Bella... AGAIN!!
There is no wedding
Alice and Bella are no longer friends
Bella chooses Jacob
Edward decides that Rosalie is the right girl for him
ANYTHING HAPPENS TO EDWARD!!
They decide to come out with a fifth
It answers none of my questions
It turns out that Edward wrote the Lullaby for Tanya
Emmet and Bella run off together
Edward leaves Bella at the alter
Alice sees Bella/Edward dying in the future
There is some randomly impossible twist (Bella is preggers and Edward's fiancée from 1918 is back!)
The book is actually 300 pages of Jacob POV
Edward turns Human
IF THERE IS EVEN A SCRATCH ON EDWARD AT THIS END OFF THIS I'M COMING FOR STEPHANIE MEYER!!
There is a long and pointless foreword by an author I know nothing about
Stephanie decides to write no more books (I WANT THE HOST SEQUEL!!)
Another character is introduced that complicates things but doesn't change the outcome.
It's less than 200 pages.
All the words are really long and complicated.
It pulls a POTC 2!! (Setting up for a sequel)
Rosalie betrays the family...again
Borders forgets to place the orders and I have to wait to get it. (I'm going to the midnight release party!!)
Three words: Stephanie's writers block
Edward is hurt emotionally, because for sensitive guy like him... that's just as bad as being hurt physically.
In the end Bella is mortal because Jacob and Edward run off together.
Bella decides she wants to be mortal and ends up with Mike.
The Cullens are forced out of town (Jessica knows!!)
It completely contrasts with the fanfic I'm writing, My Old Friend (I use my Jedi Mind Powers to make you read it!)
Freak car crash in which Bella and Jacob die
It's actually a cover for that mermaid story Stephanie Meyer has been working on.
The bachelor party gets way out of hand.
Anything happens to... JACOB BLACK! (Weren't expecting that, were you??)
Here is my list... I hope it amused you like it did me. Give me your worst case scenarios by reviewing. If I find it extremely amusing I'll post it. If you really like it... read my other stuff. I know I sound slightly desperate... but oh well. Thx again for reading!!
-CrazyAndFabulous