Title: Morning Contemplations
Fandom: Free!
Pairings: Rin/Sousuke
Rating: T
Word Count: ~580
Warnings: N/A
Summary:
A moment in time before Rin confesses.
A/N:
[That anxious feeling won't go away on it's own.]
Actually I wrote this a while ago but things happened and I kind of forgot about it so here it is now! Hope everyone enjoys even tho it's pre-get together.
Morning Contemplations
Morning light filtered in through the open window, shades still pulled up, forgotten about the night before. Tiny particles of dust danced in the sunlight, twisting and turning under the power of the fan, never settling. The whirling of the plastic blades above, a constant sound that was loud and exaggerated once it reached his ears. The old clock on the wall's battery had long since been dead, and the ceaseless ticking from his childhood had finally come to an end.
He felt tired that morning, an abnormal haze of warmth and lazy delight was in the room. His hand slipped out from under the covers and to the head of the bed, where his phone sat charging. His thumb made a nearly inaudible noise as it hit the screen and turned off the alarm before it ever went off.
There was no point in having it on when today was a special day.
No running, he decided, as he closed his heavy eyelids and listened to his room. A quiet sound of someone breathing from below finally hit his ears and he sighed. Yes, there would be no running that day, no running away either.
A familiar ache settled in his stomach and his heart's rhythm stepped up from a steady beat to an impatient pace. A knot was forming in his throat and the comfort from waking up was swept away by the building anxiety. Just thinking about what he was planning he possibly might do was sending his heart into an uncontrollable, emotional state.
Logically he knew that the signs he had seen were more than just his hope, his wishes. Logically he knew that even if they weren't, nothing truly awful could go wrong. Logically all of his presumptions about its outcomes were only in his head.
Logic would not calm his heart.
He risked a glance at the body sleeping on the floor and felt a cold knot in his stomach. Peaceful breathing, gentle rising of the chest, and an ease in the face that was not often present during the day. He flipped over onto his stomach, pulling his face and his pillow closer to the edge to peer down at the person who sent his being into emotional disarray.
To tell him or not was never a question, it was only a matter of where and when and how.
Where's and when's and how's that Rin had been thinking of for months now. Thinking off, and feeling sick about, but doing nothing with. There was no correct way to do it, and he knew that, yet still he hesitated.
If he was being pessimistic, his chances were only so-so. That was still very high, but he could not even cheat himself into believing that the actions of his friend were just friendly. He could not convince himself that the sweet gestures, and the terrifyingly final ones, were meant for someone who was only a friend.
He could not convince himself the desperation in his voice and eyes meant nothing more than that.
A deep breath came, and the boy on the floor shifted, letting it out in a long and slow exhale. A lengthy arm came up to cover his eyes and a sigh escaped him. He kicked off the covers, obviously too warm, and finally awake.
"Good morning," Rin breathed into his pillow, a smile on his lips. Sousuke looked up at him from behind his arm and grinned.
"Morning."