notes: author's note at the end

notes2: disclaimer: i do not own gakuen alice

"Take it," He gives her a haunting pink stone. "Use it on him, it'll work."

"Anju.. no.." She pushes the cursed stone away back into his fingers and encloses them. "I don't want it."

He looks, almost withdrawn, the way he would have looked had a homeless person refused charity from him but, "Why?"

"It won't work.." She shakes her head.

"What do you mean? You know my alice-"

"Not the way I want it to… I do know your alice, Anju, it's not how I want him to fall in love, it wouldn't be true. You, of all people, should know that."

And it stings so much that he makes a mistake.

"Don't be an idiot, Yuka." He always had trouble ruling over his own alice. "Just take it already and use it before I-"

"No!" She accidentally turns to him, an aura emitted, a fragrance, one she cannot escape from until she grips the grey stone tightly on the necklace she wears. The nullification alice stone.

At times as this, it never dawned on him that Yuka would ever genuinely hate him.

SLAP!

Narumi skipped class with a beast's tattoo imprinted on the back of his neck, piercings that were non-alice related, and glares on the back of his head. This was no revelation to all except one. But she hadn't seen him yet.

He'd hang out with those high school seniors he'd mistakenly call his "friends." They were better known as the acquaintances who had many perks to go along for. And Narumi became like a shadow, chasing for a dreamlike landscape where he could escape reality with fog in his eyes and his mind hazed in red. It was in vain, at first he thought maybe he'd get closer with Yuka. After all, these seniors gave him access to Gakuen Alice's High School area. And that was much better than being watchful behind window blinds staring into a distance.

But that was not promised. Ironically, the exact opposite happened. Naru was more distant and withdrawn than ever. He was in the last year of middle school at the time with his head in the clouds, not in the books. Imagining if they were in books, the stories would be of mythical fairy tales where the angst-ridden, self-sacrificing prince had gotten the girl; the golden trophy to commemorate the happily ever after they would spend with each other for centuries...

That's gross, isn't it? As if the girl was some prize to be won at a county fair. Narumi knew he'd sooner fight someone bloody before perceiving her that way.

Hours passed by and had broken the second hand on the clock. The only indication of time left in his room was easily seen; only five months left, X's he'd mark off every day off the calendar. It meant one thing and one thing only. Five months left until he'd be with her in high school. Five months left until he would be able to be the one by her side. It was spring time that got him hopeful, without the dreary, old-fashioned winter ambiance, but spring time.

It was around the time where they were first introduced to each other. It was the time he would be expecting a baby sister born next month. Springtime love and pain with the bees stinging him because despite having a pheromonal alice, it didn't affect insects. Anything human with a sex drive was affected, he was able to mend their will to his.

He remembered it was fourth grade at Gakuen Alice that he realized it wasn't love that had his potential minions spellbound, it was lust. It was disgusting. And he had no antidote for the curse he carried. That's why he figured was put in the Dangerous Abilities Class. Most of the missions consisted of him seducing others for information after all and being a child did not sway the Elementary School Principal.

Then, Izumi came, unaffected and caring. Too caring and clumsy. He felt both relieved and annoyed by his presence. But that wasn't the day his life had changed. The day of the apocalypse came was the day he met Yuka. She was no beauty, of course. Nothing special honestly. She was just a girl a few years older with a real cynical outlook on the world. Naru would smile reminiscing in the scowl she gave him that first day.

She was also sometimes kind. That day, she answered his prayers and stole his alice after a traumatizing mission. And without a second chance to snatch it back away, cupid's arrow had stabbed him with she-daggers in his mind. Without words, she had stolen something else he thought didn't exist.

When had he gotten so infatuated with the idea of holding her hand? He'd wonder; When had he desired to be immortal to spend an eternity with her? When did her hair look soft enough to touch? Caress? New shampoo, perhaps? He swayed the foolish speculation away. When did her neck look so good enough to smother in kisses? And finally, When did she fall for Izumi?

"I hate my alice." He says it like a sin. A deathless kiss of disclosion.

"Hm, well, to be honest, I can't argue since I'm the same." She ponders. We are the same. "I guess we'll have to learn to love ourselves." She says feathery and breathy. "Okay?" She even holds out her own pinky. A promise.

"Yuka.. are you serious?" Why did she always treat me like a child?

"Yes! C'mon Anju~" She pries.

Rolling his eyes, they meet. "There, are you happy now?" I want you to be happy.

She nods, and that gentle smile is earned.

But, no matter what Narumi would say or do, it never changed a single thing. Because it was wishing for a thunderstorm despite knowing it could destroy the entire city. The Paris of his mind's eye. Now, he sat near the edge of window down at all the ants. There, he found the queen with her lover. It was the first time he wished he could use his alice against the one with nullification and bid him to leave her. It was silly. These types of relationships never lasted very long.

The worst part was seeing it. Down his window to see those two sending each other intangible messages to each other. He scowled, it never took too long to aggravate him. He pictured himself like a god watching his mortal lover in envy of becoming human as well. For a moment, as pensive as he was, he thought he saw Izumi glance up towards him and quickly discard the fleeting look.

"Are you planning on giving chocolates on Valentine's Day to anyone, Yuka?" He paused. Izumi had the nerve. The very question Narumi was wishing to ask. With a heavy steel metal plier, he tore her open. Her voice first denies her a sound -the blushing mess- her face had betrayed her. It had Narumi burning.

"No…" She forced a reply, looking away, avoiding his eyes.

"Really? Not a single person?" He inquired, joking, but Naru still thought he had malicious tendencies underneath. No one is that charming.

"No one in particular comes in mind…"

Liar.

Narumi did not say.

Yuka, you are lying. I see it in you.

She denies it.

...Why did it have to be you?

And he was so close to leaving the two soft-spoken, with the romantic tension in the air until the devil spoke, "You could give one to Narumi, I'm sure he'd appreciate the gesture." Izumi nudged Yuka tenderly.

Fuck you, fuck you fuckyou FUCk you-Yukihara Izumi-

"Hey Naru," A voice dug deeper, a guy several years his senior had shown up at his door. Naru forgot his name. "Me and couple others are going out, are you coming?" This guy didn't really care if he'd say yes or no. He didn't care that Narumi was obviously underaged- a minor. Hanging out with these guys made him feel like shit because they just did not care unless- "Also, can you conjure up an alice stone for us? Kaito found this sexy-" No. "- to join us."

This soon became a daily occurrence. His former stoic elementary school desolate self emerged. He didn't give a damn, not a single one, after all, this was for a girl who hadn't bat an eyelash at him.

"Hm, well, I guess I'll make some for Narumi." She replied. "Speaking of him, I haven't seen him around…" Yuka replied, fading in sound range.

Narumi propped himself off the ledge, "...Sure. Count me in" He said turning his face away.

"I need a smoke."

And it seemed like the universe didn't care, when she undoubtedly did.

"When will you give me my heart back?" He'll ask. They sit together under the witness of the moon. No lies, no theft.

Yuka shifts uncomfortably, "I'm sorry, Anju." An 'I cannot.'

"Then, at least, tell me when you'll come back." He says, almost pleading. He looks down at his feet. Ashamed, desperate, pathetic. His younger self would've shunned him. To have him this meek, it was revolutionary in all sorts.

"I don't know when." I can't promised you that.

There's a silence that's painfully suffocating. The air is both thin and thick. And she knows what his next words are under reflected light.

"I love you," He confesses and hangs his head in slack. "But you know that already." His heart says and it hurts since it meant so much.

"I'm sorry, Anju.." It's all she says, all she thinks. She knows no other words.

"Please don't apologise.." It's the last of his words. "You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry too." It's screaming: I'm sorry to have loved you. I'm sorry SORry SORRY to have met you. I'm sorry Yuka, I'm sorry you feared, I'm sorry to have troubled you. And if I meet you again or in another life, I'll wait by heaven's door and with no regrets. But,

But is it okay if I still stay by your side?

-the end-

Author's Note:

Omg did you read this entire thing? did you? im blushing if you can't tell. I haven't been on this site in a few years.. wow

Ok so i starting reading Gakuen Alice's manga and this fic happened. It is a one shot, and i hope to write more. Reviews would be nice, especially constructional criticism reviews or questions bc i yearn to be a better writer, ya know? i'll try to reply to them if i can. thank you for reading, it means the world to me and i might do a natsume and mikan one later im almost done with the manga!

a thousand hugs and kisses from me