STAR WARS

Mate Switch:
A Tale of the Fett Family

Chapter 1

Rain spattered onto the surface of a metallic grey helmet—a helmet that was strapped around the head of an exhausted, bedraggled, and soaking-wet humanoid form.

The only sign that betrayed the being's exhaustion was the slight slump to the shoulders. Its posture was completely erect as it stalked across the landing platform of Tipoca City. The clank of its dull-grey boots against the durasteel was drowned out by the noise of unrelenting rain.

The rain on Kamino never ceased; it brought to mind an ancient Mabari metaphor, comparing the hardships and drudgeries of life to precipitation. How such things came in storms, but those storms would eventually end. The rain of adversity wouldn't last forever, and when the storm finally did end, it would produce a crop of new strength and new skills.

Or some such bantha crap.

Here on Kamino, a storm like the one raging above Zam Wesell's head equaled a calm day.

Zam sighed as she engaged the airlock door to the streamlined Tipoca spaceport. It had been a long hunt. A calm day on Kamino was the most she could hope for.

Inside the streamlined, super-clean, ultra-efficient apartment of the Fett family, a calm day was indeed what it was.

And it was driving Jango Fett crazy.

He would never say as much, of course. Not to himself, and least of all to his son, Boba, to whom he strove everyday to impart the boundless patience of a professional bounty hunter.

But not-so-deep inside his battle-scarred head, he was going nuts.

Bounty hunting had seen a dry spell of late. At least, it had for him, widely considered to be the best bounty hunter in the galaxy. Jango Fett had been raised by Mandalorian warriors, and as such had a very strong sense of honor. He was not aware of it, of course; it was simply something bred into him, branded onto his brain by his mercenary family. But Jango Fett would not take a contract that he did not deem worthy of his time. He would not take a contract that did not pay the price for his famous skills.

To a layman, that price equaled out to buckets and buckets of credits.

Unfortunately, here lately, the bounties on the market were a bit depressing.

A Malastarian bureaucrat suspected of embezzling money from the Dug Protection Program. A Corellian spice-runner who'd nearly had his keister handed to him by CorSec, and was now on the run planetside somewhere on Talus. A Duro suspected of masquerading as a Neimoidian servant to steal small valuables from the Dofine estate…

Cheap, petty offers….two magnitudes lower than certifiable wastes of time on the Fett scale.

Muttering to himself, Jango cut the connection on his portable holovid that was showing him all the bounties on the market. He stood up, noticing Boba in a nearby easy-chair, reading another one of those silly books.

"Boba, you can watch the holovid," Fett said to his son. "I'm through."

Ever perceptive, Boba looked up and said, "Still no good bounties to take, Dad?"

"No, Boba," the hunter said, picking up the holovid and placing it next to the chair.

"Don't worry," the eight-year-old boy assured him. "Someone'll post something good soon, I bet. What about those Hutt guys? I'm sure someone's bound to p—. Someone's bound to cross one of them sooner or later. That's always happening, right?"

"Everytime I go to Hutt Space, I come back wondering if I'll ever get the smell out of the suit," Jango said.

Boba laughed, and Jango let himself laugh, too. He briefly watched Boba turn on the holovid and start flipping through the frequencies before making his way toward his bedroom.

In truth, there were few things in the galaxy more maddening than sitting in this spotless little apartment with nothing to do. Fett craved an opportunity to truly test his skills, to match wits and blasters with a real opponent, to track down truly elusive quarry. It was what he lived for.

It was time like these he half-considered going to Nal Hutta and hanging around as an enforcer for one of the big slugs. Just so he could see a little action.

But Jango would never do that. After all, what would his son think of him then?

Boba waited until his father was out of the room then went directly to the frequency he wanted. His father had finished his evening ritual just in time. Tonight was the night for one of his favorite programs.

Mate Switch.

Mate Switch was an example of the new trend in holodramas; shows that were unscripted and unrehearsed, about the real lives of real beings across the galaxy.

Privately, Boba knew that his father would disapprove of such fare, even more than he disapproved of regular holodramas. He could not say why. But, like the books he read, he was certain that Jango would consider them a waste of time.

The premise of Mate Switch was simple. Two families, from very different backgrounds and very different worlds, were shown. Then, the directors would shake things up a bit. They would take the wives, the mothers, the females…or whatever the equivalent…the matriarch, out of the homes and send them to the homes of the other. They would be forced to live, for a short time, as the matriarch of the other family did. After about a standard week, the new matriarch was allowed to rewrite the rules of the home and do things her way, and the drama was ramped up even more.

The first episode Boba had seen had taken place entirely on the world of Mon Calamari, a world that looked even wetter than Kamino. The two families were Mon Cal and Quarren respectively. Although the races shared the same planet, they both harbored a distrust, sometimes even dislike for each other, and exchanging matriarchs was awkward, to say the least.

Boba liked watching Mate Switch, but not for the drama. Although the antics of the transplanted matriarchs and their bewildered families were sometimes amusing, Boba really liked watching for one main reason.

He liked to see what mothers were like.

Boba had read about mothers in books. But when he asked his father, all Jango would say was, "You have no mother. You are a clone. Which means you are my son, and my son alone. No woman was involved."

Boba told himself that that was enough for him.

But deep down he was still fascinated with the concept, and this holodrama showed him two different mothers from different parts of the galaxy. Every week.

Sometimes he wished he could have a mother just for a day, just to see what they were like.

Boba propped the holovid in his lap, sat back, and watched the 3D images unfold in front of him.

Jango was in his room, cleaning his WESTAR-34 and watching the sea eel in the tank on his dresser, when the door chime pinged.

"Boba!" he called out. "If that's Taun We, tell her I'm in the 'fresher."

"Hold on, Dad," his son answered. "They're doing the Rules-Change Ceremony."

Annoyed, Jango laid his blaster down and headed for the door. It slid open with a small whoosh, to reveal the soaking wet form of—

"Zam," the hunter said. "I don't remember you calling."

"Nice to see you, too, Jango," the other bounty hunter said with a sardonic smile. "No, 'How's it going, old friend?'" She did a fairly good Jango-impression. "'Pretty good, Jango.' 'Would you like a towel and maybe a hot beverage?' 'That'd be wonderful, Jango, thank-you.' 'How about a foot-rub?' 'Wow, that'd be great.'"

"Zam, you disgust me."

"A girl tries to look her best." She stepped into the room. "So how's business, old buddy?"

"Call me that again and I'll shoot you between the eyes."

"I travel thousands of light years from Neimoidia, to see my handsome comrade-in-arms and all I get are threats."

"Nothing personal."

"It never is." Zam walked to the 'fresher and helped herself to a towel.

Jango watched her without emotion. "So Neimoida, eh? I take it you went after the Duro?"

Zam toweled off her face. "Ah, what can I say? I found him working for one of the other grub-plantations, not too far from there. Not much of a challenge, but that's a lot of credits for a job so easy."

"For an executive of the Trade Federation? He could have paid you a lot more. The fee was insulting."

"Well, that's true. But what do you expect from a bottom-feeder like me?"

"More than that."

"I'll do better next time, Dad. Speaking of which…where's your favorite son?"

"That's not funny."

"Was I joking?" Zam tossed the towel, walked into the kitchen and started to fix herself a cup of stimcaf.

"He's in there watching the HoloNet."

"You're letting him watch the HoloNet? Isn't that going to melt his brain?"

"Yes. But kids should be kids once in awhile."

"So you are taking my advice?"

"Don't let it go to your head."

Zam poured the stimcaf into a cup and took a sip. "Which one?"

"That one. The pretty one."

"Why Master Fett." She pursed her lips seductively. "Was that a compliment?"

Jango stared at her for a moment, his face as impervious and impossible to read as ever.

He said, "No." He turned and walked back to his room.

The soft, shapely human face of Zam Wesell smiled. She sipped her stimcaf.

Then she went to the living area to find Boba.

Boba was so entranced by Mate Switch that he hadn't noticed Zam's entrance. Normally, he would have immediately moved to greet her.

"Boba," said a voice trying very hard to imitate Jango. "Turn off that poodoo and get me a beer."

Boba's face stretched into a smile and he turned to look behind him, where Zam was looking over his shoulder.

"Zam!" he cried out, placing the holoproj on the ground. "It's good to see you." Boba almost stretched out his arms, but caught himself. Hugging was a thing they only did on the HoloNet. How weird would Zam think he was if he tried to wrap his arms around her?

Zam took notice of this with amusement, but made no comment. "What are you watching, kid?"

"Mate Switch," Boba said.

"Oh really," was Zam's reply.

"It's great, Zam. This week, they sent a Bith to a houseful of Gamorreans, and the pig-lady to the Bith. It's funny. The Gamorreans are so dumb and dirty and the Bith are so…"

"Smart and clean?"

"How'd you know? Is this a rerun?"

Zam chuckled. "Must be. Anyway, I'm glad your dad is letting you look at holos of something besides ship schematics and starmaps."

Jango came out of the bedroom. "Oh? What's he looking at?" He came up next to Zam and took the cup of stimcaf out of her hands. He took a drink and made a face. "You sure put a lot of cream in that."

"Makes a difference. Boba, quick, change the frequency."

"No. I want to see what he's watching."

"It's called Mate Switch, Dad."

"Really? I didn't think they showed things like that on mainstream HoloNet frequencies."

Zam laughed. "Not like that, Jango. It's one of those reality holos. Take two different families and make them switch wives. Hilarity ensues."

"Really? Sounds more like immorality than hilarity."

The other hunter laughed again. "There's no consummation, silly. Just a temporary switch. To see how the families deal with each other."

"Ah. So it's a tame freak show. Nice to know. Boba, don't you think your time would be better spent watching something else?"

Boba's face fell considerably.

"Come now, Jango. There's no harm in some good, low comedy. The boy's life is too serious as it is."

"This is not up for discussion." Jango turned to make his way back to the kitchen. "Finish this program. But find something better to watch tomorrow."

Zam saw the ashamed look on the boy's face and moved to his defense. "It's not going to hurt him, Fett. I thought you were going to let him be a kid once in awhile. You know…let him have a childhood, like the kind you never had?"

Jango turned on her. "That's enough, Zam. What Boba watches is not your concern. This family is not your concern."

"Well whose concern is it then? I'm the only female who ever sets foot in this apartment. You could use a woman's touch once in awhile."

Jango's normally neutral tone was actually hardening into one of anger. "Boba doesn't need a mother. He's my son." He started to leave, then turned around. "And if he did need a mother, I certainly wouldn't call you."

Zam smirked. "Can't blame you."

Jango's voice went back to normal. "Nothing personal."

Zam watched him disappear into the kitchen. "It never is."

She looked down at Boba, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

"Hey, kid," she patted him on the shoulder. "Don't cry. It's no big deal."

"I don't cry," Boba said.

Oh, I know you don't, Zam thought. Your father wouldn't let you do that either.

"Take the holoproj in your room, kid," she said, lowering her voice. "And watch whatever you want."

As was the custom, Zam was to stay in one of the adjoining apartments. She opened the door to her usual room and grinned. Though he wouldn't say another word to her the rest of the night, Jango had called the Kaminoans to accommodate the room for her.

Zam showered and ditched her bodysuit for one of her more comfortable robes. Quietly, using her hunters' stealth, she crept back into the Fetts' apartment. The doors to the bedrooms were always open. She looked in on Jango first and found him snoring.

The biggest and baddest of us all, she thought. Always telling me that he sleeps with one eye open.

She checked in on Boba. He had fallen asleep with the holoproj still running.

It was scrolling through starship schematics.

She stepped inside and turned it off, sighing. Those two would never change.

Boba heard Zam's footsteps and watched her leave with his one open eye. He waited a moment, hearing the distant whir and very faint click of the door that separated the apartments, shutting.

He climbed out of bed, picked up the holoproj, and carried it to the living area where Dad had left the comm unit. He plugged the projector into the unit, keyed in a frequency, and waited.

Like any great bounty-hunter-in-training, Boba was patient and stealthy and he knew how to make plans.

And Boba had a plan.