Phan Fic-
Based on "Red" by Taylor Swift
A red sports car zoomed past Phil as he walked along the busy London road and part of Phil wished that he could go that fast as he hurried on through the thousands of tourists. Even though the weather was dull and the heavens were threatening to open, there will still thousands of people filling the streets. Phil had to push his way through the crowds as he headed towards the Knightsbridge tube station, resulting to elbowing his way through yet another pack of school children on a trip. Once he had finally made his way onto the packed train carriage Phil started to think about what he was about to do. Even though it was just going home, Dan would be there and Phil wasn't sure what to do. He was unsure about so much between the two of them, he didn't know how to put it into words when people asked him what was going on. The whole thing was indescribable with words alone yet Phil was unsure how to describe it otherwise.
Their whole relationship was never a simple one. It was not a boy meets boy and then they live happily ever after. It was more than that, so much more for Phil. Even their initial meeting wasn't the most ordinary. They had found each other over the internet and after many months they finally met in person. Phil had felt so nervous, he wasn't sure if they would get on quite as well in person. As the time arrived for them to meet, Phil started to wonder if it was a mistake and was about to turn around and go home when Dan walked up to him. He looked even better in real life and Phil already found himself wanting to spend time with Dan. Phil was only just starting to process what was going on when Dan pulled Phil in for a hug. Shocked at first, Phil didn't know what to do before some inner instinct kicked in and he hugged Dan back. It was one of the best hugs he'd ever had and for one fleeting moment he found himself wanting to kiss Dan on the platform even though they had only just met. Dan pulled away and smiled at Phil who smiled back, feeling all the different emotions hit him at once that he had had never known exsisted before.
As they got to know each other more and more, Phil found that he wanted to do more and more things that he didn't want to do with his other friends. Phil hadn't been sure how to go about it and there had been many awkward moments where they had gotten close enough to kiss. It was over 2 years after they had first met when Phil decided he wanted to finally do something about it. He decided to go to the cinema with Dan to see the new Twilight movie, Phil wasn't exactly a Twilight fan but when he watched the trailer he saw something that gave him an idea. Dan had been reluctant to go but Phil more or less got down on his knees and begged to go and somehow Dan said he would go. Once they were at the cinema Phil started to feel nervous about his plan and ate several pieces of popcorn to try and calm his nerves. The lights lowered as the film started to play and in the darkness Phil felt highly aware of Dan's presence next to him. Whilst Bella and Edward read out their vows on the big screen Phil tried to get himself ready for what he was going to do. Then as the two characters kissed, Phil turned to face Dan who to Phil's suprise was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Before Phil could do what he had planned, Dan reached for Phil's face and pulled Phil towards him. Dan closed the space between them faster than the winds that blew relentlessly outside the cinema and kissed Phil. The kiss was as passionate as sin, ending so suddenly when Dan went back to devouring his bag of Malteasers. Phil found himself unable to concentrate on the rest of the film as he tried to work out what had happened. A while later the lights went up as the film drew to a close and as the other people started to file out of the cinema, Phil looked at Dan who had just started to get up. Phil had no idea what was going to happen and started to worry about if it was going to ruin what they'd had before when Dan smiled at Phil in a way that made him blush bright red.
The tube train continued to rattle through the dark tunnels and Phil was desperate to get off the train before he could remember any more. He breathed a sigh of relief when the announcement for his stop came. Even though he wasn't sure if he wanted to go home, he knew he had to get away from the tube and his memories. Stepping out onto the street that would take him home, he found himself thinking again. As he walked past the park he looked at the trees, it was nearly winter and all the leaves had fallen to colourful heaps on the floor. Phil loved the autumn, the colours were so bright in the trees until they lose it all when winter comes. It reminded Phil sadly of how his relationship with Dan had been, so bright before they lost it all. Remembering him came back to Phil in flashbacks and echoes. It was seemingly over between them and Phil had told himself it was time for him to let go but moving on from Dan was impossible when Phil saw it all in his head. Forgetting Dan was like trying to know somebody you've never met for Phil.
After the first kiss at the cinema, Phil wasn't sure how it was going to carry on. When they got back to the apartment after not speaking the whole way home, Phil was terrified that he'd misread Dan's smile and didn't know what to do. As Phil walked into the kitchen, he dropped the keys on the counter and was about to ask Dan what was going to happen, Dan lunged towards Phil, pulling Phil towards him as he kissed him. Phil felt himself mould to Dan and Phil could feel the same rush he had felt earlier on. The two of them slept in Phil's bed that night, Dan falling asleep long before Phil. Phil had hims arm around Dan's waist and traced his fingers along Dan's torso. Touching Dan for Phil was like realising all he ever wanted was right there in front of him. When morning came the two of them lay there and talked for hours, sharing secret feelings they had been keeping from one another. Phil felt his attention divided between listening to what Dan was saying and looking at Dan himself, Phil wasn't used to seeing Dan like this. Phil found himself memorising every detail of Dan as easily as remembering the words to his old favourite song. The following months were made up of nights like that, Phil felt like he couldn't change the way he felt no matter what happened. He felt like loving Dan at times was like changing your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, there was no going back. Phil didn't want to go back, he had never felt that way about anyone else. When Phil was with Dan he felt a roller coaster kind of rush, when Phil even just looked into Dan's eyes he would feel a sudden desire to kiss him if Dan hadn't already kissed him first, there was never a dull moment between the two of them and Phil didn't want it to end.
Phil slowly got closer to the house, still nervous about what he was going to do when he got inside. He had been trying to push it to the back of his mind for days but he had to face Dan sometime. Regardless of all the amazing times he and Dan had gone through together, there were the bad times too which had led him to where he was now stuck, in a spiral downwards of uncertaintity and loneliness. Phil allowed himself to think over those last few days as he came close to his apartment.
At times loving Dan was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. The two of them, whilst having personalities that seemed to match, still had times when they argued. Sometimes it would be over stupid things like one of them saying something and fortunately they found their way through it. Though sometimes they didn't and had spent days without talking to one another. They had been fine until recently and started to argue again, Phil couldn't even remember what had even started it. Fighting with Dan was like trying to solve a crossword and realising there's no right answer and Phil didn't know what to do. Dan ended up leaving the house, not returning before announcing that he was leaving for a few days to clear his head. Phil took that as a signal that it over between them and felt numb. Losing Dan was blue like Phil had never known before , he had never felt such strong feelings for anyone before. Missing Dan was dark grey, Phil felt all alone and didn't know who to talk to. He was about to give up hope and accept his fate when he finally got a text from Dan that morning saying he was coming back. Phil didn't know if it meant anything, if Dan was simply coming back to collect his stuff and leave for good.
The door to his flat loomed at the top of the stairs, Phil was still nervous and tried to breathe as calmly as he could before climbing the stairs. Phil knew that Dan was on the other side of the door, Phil knew deep down that he was excited to see Dan regardless of what had happened, all the intense pain and intense love combined into one new emotion. Regretting Dan was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong for Phil. Dan was spinning around in Phil's head, all the good times colliding with the bad, all the memories coming back at once, burning one colour in his mind. Phil jogged up the last few steps and as he finally opened the door, he finally found a way of describing his and Dan's relationship with just one word. Red. When Phil walked into the lounge to see Dan sat on their couch, looking worse than Phil had ever seen him before, Phil prepared himself for another argument. Dan turned at the sound of Phil's entrance into the room and took Phil once more by suprise by throwing his arms around Phil. Phil relaxed into the comfort of his best friend's arms and when the two of the kissed Phil felt like the two of them were burning red and Phil realised that loving Dan was red in so many ways.