Summary: After doing two things at once one too many times, Chase Matthews must face the facts.
"A Decade Under the Influence"
i. Sad, small, sure and porcelain... you're skin and bones I'm a nervous wreck....
With each thrust, I give more effort, and I get a new sound in return. It's like some sort of symphony, and it's so loud, I can't even hear myself. The thoughts racing through my overstuffed mind. Shallow breaths coming and going faster as I feel myself slowing down. Beady streams of sweat pooling and dripping from my damp face to hers.
"Chase...." she groans, and then I get a firm, bruising grip on both of her hips with my clammy, pale hands. "Mmm...." she mumbles, and I know she's almost reached her breaking point. My grip tightens effortlessly, and she parts her lips, so I kiss her. No tongue, just lips on lips – I don't want to get into this attachment thing, not when Zoey and I have been trying to get pregnant for ages.
A scream shatters my incoherent wonders, and her head practically makes an imprint in the pillow. One last good hard thrust and I am officially spent. My arms haven't completely given out, though, so I hold myself up. There I am, hovering, but not suffocating due to the fact that we're both struggling to get air to reach our lungs.
Kissing the top of her forehead, I lower my body onto hers and she smiles with glee. She's glowing. Like she always does with me, and I do her. We have the rare satisfaction of always glowing together. Even though she knows how much I hate post-coital cuddling, she snuggles her head into the side of my neck anyway. Sighing, I do my best to move my arms so she'll get the hint, but as usual, she doesn't.
"I don't have the cigarettes today..." she starts, hesitance edging her words. "But I do have something much better." Smiling up at me, the sweat on her forehead glistening like crystals, she turns away for a moment, reaching into a drawer to get something. She rustles around with it a bit before she reveals what it is.
"I'm not into that hard shit," I grumble, praying that it's not cocaine.
"Don't worry babe," she reassures me, tossing the bag onto the bed. She moves it so it's resting in the space between us. That's when I look down and realize that she's managed to score about fifteen ounces of marijuana.
"When did you-? How-? Where-?" I stammer, totally confused.
"Look Chase, I love you. I want to be with you..." she glances down at the tan line on the ring finger of my left hand. "I want you to accept me. So let's just light up and chill, all right?"
Nodding slowly, I swallow the lump forming in my throat. It had begun taking shape out of my nervousness and regret and my ever-changing state of mind. Every time I came over and we ended up in bed, she always said it – those three words – quickly and easily, rolling off her tongue like water. It was nothing new, but it was also nothing safe. Sometimes I felt pressured to return the favor, and now was one of those times. But I couldn't just throw away everything I'd built up with Zoey. Since eighth grade year to now was too much.
"Well, where's the lighter?" I ask, even though I know the crack in my voice was obvious.
"Are you okay?" she wonders, rolling up the grass into little white folds of paper. "Here." She hands me the first one, and I'm acting like I'm unsure of what to do with it. It's like I'm twelve or thirteen all over again, sitting there trying to figure out how to masturbate. Nothing has felt this awkward since the first time we fucked.
After she's done rolling her joint, I whisper, "I can't do this." Suddenly, I feel sick and I jump out of the bed I share with my wife and race to the nearby bathroom. Slamming the door behind me, I turn all three lights on and stare into the mirror. Then I lean down into the sink, splashing my face with cold water. What the hell had I gotten myself into? How many times was I going to have sex with another woman before I finally just made it obvious that I was cheating? What if Zoey already suspected me?
"Chase!" she calls, ridiculously oblivious to the fact that I'm actually starting to feel guilty. The first time it happened we were both drunk and thought nothing of it. Hangovers can sometimes equal amnesia, especially if you're trying hard to forget. The second and third times we started a pattern. She'd seduce me at work, ask for a ride, try to flirt with me. All the things that single twenty somethings probably do on the job. Unfortunately, I'm no longer single. It's also rather unfortunate that it feels like I'm single. I've been married for two years; I should know better than to let a petty weakness get in my way. "Hurry up! What's going on there?" There's a knock at the door, and I decide that I'm going to face the facts once and for all. Opening the door, I step out of the bathroom.
Handing me the lit joint, she smirks. "I'm already getting a buzz."
"Ooh, sounds like fun," I respond, getting back into my groove. Putting the other end of the joint to my lips, I take a long, deep drag. This is usually when I go into my therapeutic mode, trying to erase all of my bullshit moves. Now is also the time I wish Logan was working on this particular project with us. He would have never let me go home with Lola that first night. All this would have never happened, and I wouldn't have these feelings.
"I wanted to tell you something, Chase. It's important." As usual, I'm only half listening. I nod, and she continues. "I told you in the beginning that I wasn't going to go on the pill, and you don't usually use condoms." If she said the 'p' word, I was going to die. Right then and there, on the floor, I would be passed out. All pasty white skin, sweat and bones. Nothing left to it.
"So...." I motion for her to get to the fucking point already.
"For the last couple of days, I've been slightly sick at work...," she pauses. "I know you noticed. I went to the pharmacy and got a test. I haven't taken it yet, but I don't-"
"Hold the fuck up, Lola! You wanted this! You wanted me to fucking knock you up because you thought if that happened I'd leave my wife. Well, that's just too fucking bad because I'm not doing it!" My ears were definitely alert now.
"We talked about this before we actually started sleeping together, Chase. You knew." Her voice breaks, and she buries her face in her hands. She has half of the sheets wrapped around her body, but I can still see her. Her body is engraved into my mind. Just absolutely beautiful. Everything I'd imagined losing my virginity would be like. She was the perfect lay.
After Rebecca's bitchiness got to be too much for me, I went and hooked up with Lola. Not all the way, we were a little young back then, but it was amazing. Her fingers tugged on my curls the right way, her lips tasted like mangoes and strawberries, her extra small boobs pressed into me just right and when she climbed into my lap, I instantly got hard. I knew that when we finally did the deed, it would blow my mind – and it did. It just shouldn't have happened this way.
"I don't know if I am, I don't know if I'm not. All I can say is that if you still want to be with both of us, you're going to have to make drug store pit stops before and after... I don't know! It just can't work like this anymore. You were just a rebound after Vince, and now look what this has all turned into." With a sigh, she inhales the smoke coming off the end of her joint. "You're going to have to make a choice soon."
"Who says I haven't?" I hopped out of the bed and began putting my clothes on. I was definitely going to return home now – for good.
ii. I've got a bad feeling about this, I've got a bad feeling about this....
The sound of the basketball hitting the glossy court floor below my feet startled me as Michael passed me the ball. "We haven't shot hoops in a while. What's been going on, brotha?"
I just grinned. Michael Barrett hadn't changed one bit since the first day of sixth grade. It was touching to know that we'd been friends for over a decade. "Nothing much, brother," I replied, mocking his "cool slang."
"I mean, how's the band coming along?" Michael reiterated, making a basket while barely glancing up. "Has Talent Absent had a real hit yet? Or do you guys need Mikey B.'s hard hitting beats to glam up your style?" He began throwing his arms in the air, imitating raising the roof. "Shake it like a Polaroid picture!"
"Nah, gangster. We don't need your rapping to score us radio play. We just need a bassist." Staring at the ground, I wondered how Michael always managed to keep a smile on his face about things. I wished I could do the same right about now.
"I know some people who could help you out if you guys are holding auditions," Michael suggested, almost tripping me while he went to catch a layup.
"Right now, I just need to focus on my family life, dude. Things aren't going so well with me and Zoey," I finally admitted, grabbing at my dark curls with my left hand. If I ripped my hair out, it probably wouldn't even hurt that badly.
"What's up?" Michael asked, coming to a complete stop. He always had his ears open. Although he was still panting slightly, and the sweat glistened off of his forehead like crystals, he was ready for me to spill.
"I don't know how to put this, but Zoey and I haven't been able to get pregnant," I said, my voice beginning to shake. Since Michael was a devout Christian, I wasn't sure how he was going to take this kind of news. "And I've been sleeping with another woman."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know that it must be hard if you want kids and can't get them right away, but... Chase it's going to take time. And you know Zoey doesn't deserve that... right?"
"I mean, yeah I do. It's just that it's hard, Mike. You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, I wouldn't? I mean, I'm not a father yet. But I respect the fact that Lisa's not ready. I was willing to wait for her before we got married and I'll be waiting with her until the end. Chase, I thought you guys were solid when you tied the knot. And this cheating? What's up with that?" Without looking at him, I could already tell he was getting angry. Since his mom had gotten cheated on when he was a little boy, Michael thought this kind of shit was unforgivable.
My best friend in the world had to be against cheating. Fuck it. All the people in my life were going to leave once they found out about me and Lola, that was for damn sure. "I didn't mean for it to happen that way, Mike. She just invited me back to her place, and we both got a little tipsy. Then she went down on me and then we slept together. It was as simple as that."
"Look bro, I can understand mistakes. But I get the feeling that this hasn't happened only once." I finally worked up the courage to stare Michael down head on. All those years of friendship meant he could see right through me. Transparency was somewhat of an understatement.
"That's because it's been going on for the past two months, Michael. I just can't stop. You know addictions? That's what it feels like." I rubbed at my eyes, even though I had no reason to. Maybe I just wanted to use my hands. Make it seem like that could cause the guilt to vanish. I was a soon-to-be goner.
"So you're a sex addict?" Michael inquired, peering into my eyes. Looking away, I nodded.
"I guess so, man."
"May I ask who this woman is?" There it was. The question I'd been dreading for the longest time. Now it wasn't even funny. I was fucking two chicks at once and the shit was about to hit the fan. Of course Michael wasn't going to be cool with this answer, and neither was Dustin. Logan would probably take it as joke, not even worrying about my marriage or my integrity.
"I know you're not going to like this, but it's..." I left the thought incomplete, hanging there in the air like my dirty laundry. "It's..." I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Someone I know?" Michael guessed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Even he knew this was getting more and more intense. Kind of like a teen drama, or a soap opera.
Nodding, I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't move. "The woman I'm cheating on Zoey with is Lola." It was out in the open. Someone besides me and her knew the truth. Wait for it, wait for it....
"Chase... What the fuck, dude?" Michael shouted, his words bouncing off the ceiling and the walls of the gym. This was a bombshell for him, too. He rarely ever cursed, and he'd just said the 'f' word. Damn me and my raging hormones. I wasn't a teenager anymore, and I'd waited until after I'd gotten hitched to sow my wild oats.
When I didn't say anything else, I could feel Michael's eyes on me. He was waiting, but not patiently. "So you're serious?" Laughter rung in my ears next. "Gosh, this is some real news."
"You can't tell," I warned, trying to sound like I had some sort of authority over him.
"Zoey's my friend, Chase. I wouldn't be able to look at her and not say anything. Especially not when I know that you two are married and you're screwing around with Lola, of all people, behind her back." Head in his hands, Michael turned his back to me. "Do you not feel guilty?" He yelled. "You're just standing there. Gosh, you're just... pathetic now, Chase."
"So you're not coming to our party on Saturday, then?" I wondered, my throat starting to tighten. My body was heating up, and my breath seemed to have gotten stuck somewhere in my esophagus.
"No!" Michael shouted in response, throwing the basketball we'd been shooting hoops with up against the wall. "I can't face either of you now, Chase."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Michael. But this is my life and I will-"
"You'll what? Sleep with whoever you want? Cheat whenever you want? Tell people and give them loads to carry on their backs?" Michael launched the questions at me like they were bullets. Boy, was I getting gunned down.
"If you can't accept this then...." I stopped, catching myself before I threw away this everlasting friendship. But I had to say it. "Then go to hell, Barrett," I spat, turning around to walk away. I knew I wasn't going to leave without some conservative conscious bullshit comment about infidelity and what the Bible says.
"Trust me, Matthews. With your behavior, I'm not sure I'm the one who'll be going to hell in the end!" Michael told my retreating back.
Looks like my soul was gone.
iii. Who's to say you have to go? I could go all night....
"Chase, my man!" Logan greeted me with a handshake and a thump on the back. "What's been going down? Other than extramarital affairs I mean." With a smirk, he sat back down on his bar stool and ordered me a gin and tonic.
"How hammered are you, Reese?" I asked, taking the stool next to him. His entourage must have skipped out on him tonight. Or maybe they'd gone home. It was one in the morning and I was just arriving. This was the only place I could go besides Lola's apartment to get away. Forget my cares. Hurt my wife without her being aware that she was getting thrown under the bus.
"About as hammered as a nail in a wall," Logan slurred, his eyes already turning a shade of pink. "I heard you and Michael hung out today. How'd it go?"
"How did it go? More like how it didn't go. He got all pissy with me and cursed me out over my lack of morals and values, basically. I really wanted a drink or a smoke or a cup of coffee or anything after I told him. I get the feeling that if he could, he'd tell Zoey. Or at least ask Lisa to ask her about it. Or question how our marriage is going. I don't know. I'm talking too much. What about you?" Before I could get an answer, the bartender came back with my drink. I glanced over and noticed that Logan's head was practically touching his chest. Was he falling asleep on me?
"Reese!" I said, shoving at his shoulder. "Are you nodding off?"
"Damn it, Chase!" Logan shouted as his head snapped up. Maybe he was having a good dream. He claimed he always had those... especially about ladies. Going through his divorce was getting harder and harder, though. Annie wasn't acting any less bitchy about it, and Quinn had cut off the sex until after the court hearing. Logan without sex was like peanut butter without jelly. "I've been here since nine, all my other buds skipped out on me, and I'm so buzzed I just want to get the hangover done with already! Forgive me if I want to get some shuteye!"
"I just wanted to know... how did you go about you and Quinn when Annie had no idea?" I said softly, not wanting to let the bartender hear about either of our steamy double love lives.
"Listen Chase. I know you can't choose between Zoey and Lola. But the key is to keep it cool. If you don't, you'll blow your own cover. You can't let the guilt get to you."
"Well, that's easy for you to say. You were never a nice person," I said, raising the glass to my lips. I took a nice, long sip and then felt my throat burning. Fuck. This was bad. Now I wasn't even used to alcohol. When had Zoey chopped my balls off in my sleep? "No offense," I added, in case Logan could get suddenly violent when drunk.
"None taken. After all, look who's the hypocrite now." Grabbing the glass from my hand, Logan tipped his head back and downed it all in one gulp. "Three more where that came from," Logan yelled to the bartender, who was flipping through a magazine. "Put more gin, though!"
"Reese, you're going to get totally wasted. You can't go home to Annie like this. She will totally file for even more spousal support and you know it."
"I don't need your advice, Chase. You're in over your own head and it's a fucking joke. Get a load of yourself."
"Logan. I do consider you a friend... somewhat. I don't want you getting robbed because of your alcoholism." Even though I was serious, Logan didn't seem to believe me. One of the many perks of drinking, eh?
"Chase, my man," he began, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Your wife or your lover. It's that simple. Do you love either one? Do you love one more than the other? You're going to have to decide sooner or later. You can't avoid it."
"How do I make such a choice, though?"
Clearing his throat, Logan handed the bartender a hundred dollar bill as she came over with a whole bottle of gin and the three glasses of gin and tonic. She must love getting customers like Logan. "Thanks Tracy," he said, winking at her flirtatiously. She smiled back.
"Anything for my MVC," she replied, laughing like a horse would neigh.
"Ah, this is great," Logan declared, raising the first glass to his lips and drinking half of it at once. "You know what you have to do, Chase? Do what I did. Make a list of all the pros each girl has. Like, what she means to you and whatever. And write down the cons of leaving her and her natural annoying habits. Because I know you care about repercussions and all, while I don't. That should help you with your decision."
"Logan, it's not going to be that simple. I'm married here and so where you when you started sleeping with Quinn. You should know all the answers."
"I'm not the almighty, Chase. Trust me, that's my one limit. I don't know everything. No one does. Frankly, only you know what you're going to do. You just don't know it yet." He paused, contemplating his words. "If that makes sense."
"It does, in a way. I can't figure it out man. I should have stopped after the first pregnancy scare. I shouldn't have let there be a second one." Another spill. Now Logan knew I'd probably gotten Lola pregnant. This was sure to get a response out of him.
"Dude!" He yelled. "No way! Lola's got your bun in the oven!" Now he was laughing. Then he was taking another sip of his gin and tonic. "I didn't even let it go that far."
"Yeah. That was my only mistake." I couldn't believe I'd just said that. Obviously the whole situation was a mistake. Cheating on my wife was sure to get me sent to hell, like Michael said in not so many words.
"Now you're royally screwed," Logan informed me, as if I wasn't sure if I was or not. "'Cause he's in too deep and he's trying to keep up above in his head, na na na na na na!" Leave it to Logan to twist around the words in a Sum 41 song to fit my situation. This was no joke.
"Man, why didn't I listen to people about condoms?" I mumbled, taking up one of Logan's gin and tonics and taking one large gulp.
"Maybe because in junior year you thought the only girl you'd be laying was Zoey!" Logan jerked around on the bar stool, slapping his thigh and spilling over with laughter. "Gosh, you're an idiot Matthews!"
"This isn't a laughing matter, Logan." Sighing, I finished off the glass of alcohol and rubbed at my temples. There was only one solution. To get hammered.
"I don't know what to tell ya, man!" Logan yelled. "All's I gotta say is...." We grabbed the remaining gin and tonics at the same time.
"Bottoms up!" Logan yelled even louder, but there couldn't have been many people left in the bar. He'd probably rented it out for the night. It was now three o' clock in the morning, after all.
iv. I'm coming over but it never was enough, I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you....
It was the next morning. I had crept into bed with Zoey. She was clutching at her stomach when I slipped in next to her, but she turned around to kiss me and smelled the alcohol on my breath. She hadn't made me breakfast this morning, so I knew she was probably upset.
"Good morning," she chirped when I walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table behind her laptop, probably working on a new fashion article or something.
"Hey baby," I said, walking over to her to give her a quick peck on the lips. I couldn't kiss her passionately without thinking about Lola. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, just working on a new story for the magazine. I'm kinda stuck though." Nodding, I walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. I poured myself a glass of milk, my hand shaking like a leaf.
Zoey must have noticed because she said, "Are you okay, honey?" She was such an incredible wife and when she said that, I wanted to stab myself with all the knives in the drawers. I deserved it. Why ruin such a great relationship with such a wonderful woman when things could only get worse if another person came into the picture?
"Actually, I have to tell you something," I announced, wanting her to think something was wrong and everything was fine at the same time. "It's about... us."
"Hmm... is it bad?" She inquired, rising from the hard-backed chair and approaching me. I noticed that her hands were still on her stomach.
"Is it that time of the month?" I laughed. Zoey's period always killed her. When that day rolled around, I was making cup after cup of tea for twenty four hours. Apparently she thought dealing with her menstrual cycle and letting things "flow naturally" was better than just taking some Midol. Geez.
"Actually, I miss-" She stopped suddenly, lowering her hand and looking up at me. "It's nothing."
Did I just hear her almost say that she'd missed her period? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. This wasn't the type of oh my gosh where a teenie fans herself and almost faints over some guy she thinks is "hawt." This was the type of oh my gosh where I feel like pacing and almost faint and forget that I'm supposed to be listening to Zoey because she's right in front of me....
"I don't feel like we've been spending enough time together lately," she said softly, reaching for my hand. I let her take it, and she led me out of the kitchen and into the living room. We sat down on the love seat. Damn, did she want to have sex? We hadn't done it in almost a month. Man, if we were going to do it I was going to have to pull out because I sure didn't have any rubbers....
"Where is this going?" I wondered, running my hand through her hair. I could smell her shampoo. It was way too strong, as usual. But that was the way I liked it. I liked so much about Zoey – shit, I loved Zoey. She was my wife. I was doing what I was supposed to do. The problem is, if doing what's right is so hard, what are my feelings trying to tell me?
"It's going in a good direction. I just feel like you're busy producing your movies and then going out with Logan and then catching up with Michael... I mean, I write my articles from home and I barely see you. The reason I chose to work from home is because of you, Chase. In the beginning, you promised me this would be a fifty-fifty deal. I thought the only way I could be a loving wife would be if I had a great husband. And I do, it's just... I miss you, Chase." There were tears in her eyes, and I felt like punching myself in the face. I couldn't though, because then she'd definitely know there was something seriously wrong.
"Zoey, I'm so... I'm just kind of feeling overwhelmed right now. Producing this upcoming flick is just kicking my ass. You should have come to me sooner if you felt that way, though." I leaned in for a hug, but I think she was expecting a kiss. Although I ached to taste her lips, I couldn't right now. Not when she'd just added to the weight of the guilt.
"So can we just cuddle?" She asked, letting her head drop to my shoulder.
"Sure," I agreed, wrapping one arm around her waist. This reminded me of my first and only date with Lola. Gosh, that was so many years ago, why was I thinking of it now?
Craning her neck, she placed a kiss just under my chin. That meant she wanted to get at least somewhat intimate. I knew I had to show some interest. I pressed my mouth to hers, and then her tongue slithered its way into my mouth. She leaned back onto the couch and I got on top of her. She began lifting up my shirt and I froze. All I saw was Lola in my head. This was too uncomfortable.
"What's wrong, Chase?" I jumped up and pulled my shirt down.
"I uh, I just remembered something. It's urgent," I lied, racing into the kitchen and dashing over to the sink. Damn it. This hurt. I splashed some cold water on my face.
I heard her follow me back into the kitchen. I didn't want her to leave me alone, but I just needed to clear my head. Too many women, so little time. "Chase? I actually have something urgent to tell you, too."
I'd been wondering why she'd been looking a little pale lately. "We finally did it!" She shouted, running over and leaping into my open arms. "I'm pregnant, baby!" Fuck, fuck, fuck. This could have happened at any other old time and I would have been fine. I would have been rejoicing, just like Zoey was.
She pulled away from me. "Something must really be wrong if you aren't happy dancing. We're going to be parents, Chase! We've wanted this for so long!" Seeing her lips spread into a wide smile and watching her face brighten, I wanted to cry. Zoey would kill me if she ever knew the real story.
Why did we have to finally conceive at the exact same time that Lola thought she could be pregnant? Why did these things always happen to me? Was I really going to become a father of two kids... simultaneously? How messed up was that? How would I take care of my two kids without either woman finding out? Wouldn't Zoey wonder why I was paying child support and what kid I was paying for? How was this going to work?
"No, it's just...." I clenched my fists and thought about what Logan would say. Be a man, Matthews. "I went to a baby store yesterday and bought a designer crib!" I lied again, my face breaking out into a wide grin that matched Zoey's. She jumped into my arms again and pressed her lips into the side of my neck.
"I love you so much, Chase," she whispered, and I felt a tear slide down into the collar of my shirt.
"I love you more Zoey," I replied hoarsely, feeling a tear slide down my own cheek.
v. Anyone will do tonight, close your eyes just settle, settle... close your eyes just settle, settle....
Dialing his number, I felt my fingers begin to tremble. Greg didn't know, of course, and I wasn't going to tell him, either. Putting the phone to my ear, I lay back on the chaise I was lounging on. Zoey was inside the house asleep, and I was poolside with a beer.
Now I needed to tell my brother he was going to be an uncle. He was sure to be excited... hopefully. When he finally picked up after four rings, I sighed. "Hey Greg."
"Hello. Who is this? And how do you know my name?"
I was shocked. Did he not have caller ID? "Uh, it's me. Chase. Your little brother....?"
"Oh, dude. I haven't heard from you in almost a year," Greg explained. I could hear laughing in the background.
"Yeah, it's just with the producing jobs and all...." I trailed off. My palms were sweaty and I didn't know why. The sound of Greg's voice had never intimidated me before.
"So because you're in Hollywood you just move on and forget about your family?" Greg finished my sentence. Not the way I was expecting, but if that's how he felt, then so be it.
"Nah, not really. It's just hard to reach you sometimes, bro."
"Yeah, whatever Chase. Just tell me what you called to tell me."
"Zoey's, um... Zoey's pregnant," I muttered.
"That's great. I know you guys have been trying to get knocked up for a while. How excited are you?"
"Very, actually. I'm going to be a father. That's life changing." Although my words sounded mature and cliché, I knew Greg wasn't buying it.
"You don't sound too happy. Is she getting on your nerves now that's she pregnant?"
"Zoey? Naw, she's perfect... as always," I reassured my brother while also reassuring myself.
"Well, that's great. I hope you guys stay together and have lots more babies, 'kay lil bro?" Greg teased.
"Sure thing," I promised. I decided to ask Greg about what was going on in his life. "So what's been happening in your life lately?"
"I had this girl who I was dating. Then she cheated on me. I walked on in them asleep in our bed together. I was crushed. But I got over it because I had to, you know what I mean? I couldn't sit and sulk over her for the rest of my life."
With a swallow, I mumbled, "Uh-huh." This situation sounded familiar. The only difference was that I wasn't in Greg's position. I was the one doing the cheating. "How did you get over it?"
"I went out to a party with my friend, Ella. She showed me some great girls I could get to know and not hook up with. We don't really discuss relationships too often since we are just friends, and I met some girls that I really got to know in two hours. I formed a great relationship that wasn't based around sex. I'm in a great place in my life right now."
"So what'd you learn?"
"What is this, twenty questions?"
"No, I just..." I paused. "Never mind."
"Well, I learned I lot about myself. I learned that I need to be more keen about things. And I learned to stay away from horny younger girls." If only Greg knew that I was as serious as I could possibly be.
"That's nice. And it's a part of life that you got to experience. I've been through heartache too, ya know." I inspected my pinky nail. I'd gotten into a habit of biting it off first every time it grew back.
"Zoey ended up becoming your wife. That heartache didn't last long."
"Yeah, sure. But still. It's kinda the same isn't it?"
"Not exactly. But listen, bro. If you could do one thing and one thing only for me it would be to never cheat on a woman. The pain can seem endless once the truth is discovered, and if you were the one getting cheated on... you'd never forget how much it hurt." For a moment, I wondered if Greg could read my mind through all the satellite signals and communication wires. Maybe I should have just instant messaged him.
"I would never do something like that." I laughed, as if the notion was preposterous. "You know me, bro."
"I hope I do as well as I think I do," Greg said. "Anything else you wanna tell me?"
"Nope." I shook my head, as if Greg could see me. "Nothing else."
"Well, I hope you cheer up soon. And congrats again, man. Later." As soon as he'd clicked off, I shut my phone and threw it at the wall. Everyone knew my secret... or so it seemed. This is what happens when the guilt gets so heavy, the person just can't carry it around anymore. I'd let it go too far.
vi. To hell with you and all your friends, to hell with you and all your friends, it's on....
"Honey, I called Dustin over. He wanted to have drinks and celebrate, but obviously I can't." She giggled, and rubbed at her belly with both of her hands.
"Yeah, no alcoholic beverages for you missy," I fake scolded, wagging my index finger at her. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her long and hard on the mouth. I hadn't seen Lola in weeks and I was glad. Now I could kiss my wife again without feeling so guilty about where else my mouth had been.
"When is he coming over?" I asked, releasing her from my grasp.
"In about twenty minutes or so," she told me.
"What'd you cook?"
"Well, Dustin can get whatever he wants from the fridge... and I'm sure his girlfriend will only want water or something. You know how much Dustin loves models." We both laughed.
"Guess what, babe?" I walked over to the fridge and pulled out some strawberries.
"What?"
"I got some more baby stuff today."
"Ooh, that awesome!" She replied, clapping her hands together wildly. "It's unisex, right? I mean, we don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, Chase. Don't go getting too excited."
"I won't. I'm just... eager. That's all."
Washing the strawberries off in the sink, I went back to the fridge and pulled out the Cool Whip. Strawberries with whipped cream was our favorite snack, and we hadn't eaten it in a while. After I'd cut off all leaves, I walked over to the dining room table with the popcorn bowl and passed it to Zoey.
"Our favorite."
"Always has been," she started off our favorite phrase.
"Always will be," I finished it off. We used to love grapes more, but strawberries and whipped cream also works in the bedroom. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Taking one of the strawberries into her hand, Zoey licked off all the whipped cream and then fed it to me. "Yum," I said and she smiled.
"I can't wait until we're parents. It's gonna be great."
"It sure is," I agreed.
Just then, my cell phone buzzed. It was right next to Zoey's right elbow. "Ooh, let's see who else finds my husband interesting."
"I'll take it," I said, bowing my head so she wouldn't sense that I was hiding something. If it was Lola, I was so found out.
Flipping it open Zoey's eyes lit up. "You have a new text message. I'm assuming it's from Logan, so here." She handed it to me, and I breathed a long sigh of relief.
Clicking it open, I sucked in a breath. It was from Lola. I have something to tell you... or show you maybe. You'll find out soon enough. - L
Since she hadn't actually signed her name, Zoey might have thought it was from Logan. Still, I felt my heart pounding harder in my chest. What could she possibly be talking about?
"Um, that was interesting," I said under my breath so Zoey wouldn't hear. She was eating all the strawberries anyway, so it didn't matter.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" I took a strawberry out of the bowl and licked the whipped cream off. "I have the day off from work. But no baby shopping. I want it to be a Chase and Zoey day... if that's possible." The look on my face was hopeful, like a puppy dog hoping to get a kid's leftovers under the table.
"We'll see. I mean, when I was craving alone time, you wouldn't give it to me. And now that I'm pregnant...." She averted her gaze and licked some whipped cream off her fingers.
"What are you talking about, Zo? I mean-"
She grinned. "Don't get all defensive, babe. I was just kidding."
"Thanks for turning my worry meter up a whole other notch," I joked, running my hand over my forehead.
Just then the doorbell rang. "Chase, can you get it? I wanna finish our snack."
"Sure, Zo." I got up and walked out of the kitchen and through the living room to the front door. When I swung it open, I got the shock of a lifetime. Standing there was Dustin, holding a bottle of Dom Pérignon. By his side was none other than... Lola Martinez. Her stomach was protruding and it was so obvious I felt my stomach stirring.
"Chase!" Dustin yelled in greeting.
"Hi Dustin. Lola," I decided to acknowledge her so she wouldn't decide to say something that could ruin my whole life.
Now Zoey was going to figure it out. Lola wasn't married, Dustin obviously wasn't really her boyfriend and she was pregnant. The shit was going to have to hit the fan tonight and I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do about it.
I hope you enjoyed it! Review and tell me your thoughts please! To tie up loose ends I might make it a twoshot.