AN: Before I begin, I would like to make myself perfectly clear. This is a parody. The goal of this fic to make fun of all the Mary Sues in the Harry Potter fandom by transforming my three Harry Potter OCs into total Sues. Then I'll write about them in some sort of stupid form of prose that only exists in fandom world. In case you can't tell, this takes place during the time of the first book. Hope you enjoy the idiocy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I own Antoinette, Lydia and Mackenzie, but day have been given makeovers then beaten with a spiky club to significantly lower their IQs and destroy their personalities for the purpose of this fic. You have been warned.
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Hi! Mi nam is antoinette anderson but all my freinds call me Nettie and i get mad wen ppl call me antoinett so dont or ill brake ur neck. I hav longe dark blonde hare that falls 2 my mid back and gleamin silver eyes that shin in da lite and i got big boobs fo my age. im 11 yers old and am startin at hogwarts scooll dis year. rite nwo im on a tran goin der wit mah best freids Lydia miller and mackenzie Urutia.
"So nettie, u fuking redy for Hogwrts?" lydia asked exitedly
"Ya of corse I am bitch. How about u, Mac?" I said grinnin.
"I just hop dar r hot fuking guys at Howgorts!" Mackenzei laffed.
suddenly, a hot boi wit blonde hare waked past our cabbin and waked in and sat next 2 me.
"Hello ladys" he said hotly
"hi" we all siad.
"wat da hell iz ur name?" i asked.
"draco" he leened bak
"im Nettie" i said flirtily
"im lydia!" Lydia shooted
"im Mackenzie" mackenzie said shyly
"Nettie? Iz dat short for somethin?" draco turned 2 me
"ya. My ful name is fuking anntoinette." i blushd
"Dats a pretty name." he smiled hotly.
lydia and makcenzie looked relly jelous of me cause of da hot guy dat I was flirtinn wit. I was hppy.
"r u a fist year, Draco?" lydia asked
"Ya, im a fuking first year" he said
"us 2!" makenzi said
it waz quiet 4 a minuet. Den draco turned 2 me.
"hey nettie, cum wif me." he stood and grabed my hand.
I folowed him to da back of da tran and he pressed his lisp 2 mine. i blushed.
"see ya l8r" he grined and waked off.
I cursed as da tran stooped and we had 2 get off and get on dis bote dat took us 2 a big castle. i sat wif lydia and mackenzei.
"Y da fuk did u ditch us bitch?!" Lydia sonded mad
"cause draco wuz hot" i said
"ur luky ur so fuking pretty, Nettie" mackeznei said
"u guys forgive me?" I asked
"Ya." ldyia and Mackenzei smild
We huged. soon we got in da catsle and had 2 line up 2 b sorted.
"i am profeser Dumbeldor. welcum back." a old man said 2 da big room. he mad a looooooong speech then he bout out an old hat to sort dem into houses.
"let da sortin begin!" he shooted
we gasped then, cause da hat bust into song. After he sang da song, evey one claped. a women cam out wit a scool and startd to read fromit.
"Abbot, Hannah!" she shoted
a ugly gurl wif blode pigtales put da hat on
"HUFLEPUF!!!" da hat yeelled.
Da girl sat wit da hufflpufs.
"Anderson, Antoinette!"
i wnet up and put da hat on my hed.
the hat was thinking and it wss thinking "oh yes you are brve and clevr and cunnning and also loyal you will fit into all houses, but Iwill pick slythering for you as you have bes piotentia der"
"k" i siad.
"SLITHIRIN!!!" it yeelid
i grined and sat wit da slythiring kids. a few smilded at me. a few mor kids wnet. Draco wuz also in slithirin n he sat acrss from me at da table.
"Miller, Lydia!"
lyida put da hot on an 2 min l8r da hat yeled "SLYTHIRING!!!"
i claped n ldya huggd me wen she sat don.
a few kids l8r an the women said "Urutia, Mackenzie!"
makenzie put da hat on her hed an a min later it said "GRIFINDER!!!"
makenzi sturted 2 cry. wen she sat don, she put her fac in her hands n didnt ate anyting da res of da nite.
"i new shw waz a loser." lydia sneared.
i laffed.
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AN: And so starts an epic story of love, betrayal and of course, epic sueness. By the way, originally, Antoinette and Lydia were supposed to be in Ravenclaw while Mackenzie landed in Hufflepuff, but I figured Slytherin and Gryffindor were more cliché. I sincerely hope you enjoyed my parody so far, and expect to see more soon!