Disclaimer-I don't own any of these characters in any way, if I did I wouldn't have any contact with the world because I would be too awesome.

Warnings- Self-harm, Abuse, Swearing, Slash, Rape.

A/N-This is my first story and no one is reading this before I post so sorry for any mistakes. Please review if you want any specific things in the story or if you want me to write a different story.

Chapter 1

He felt pain. It was in his legs. It was in his arms. It was everywhere. And he saw a blurry face that was pale and surrounded by a black mob. He tried to sit up and immediately fell back. He had no clue what happened, where he was, or who he was. And then his eyes shut, and he fell unconscious.

***earlier***

Harry was going home. That is what everyone thought. But it would never be his home. And no one would ever know why. He hid himself in his body, his true self. He wasn't the golden boy, but far from it.

At the Dursley's he was a freak that would never be welcome. At school he was the perfect Student who was fearless and would always be there to save the day. And in the Wizarding world he would always be the boy-who-lived, their savior. But he wasn't.

He heard the others coming up to their dormitory and snapped out of it. He finished putting all his clothes in his trunk on top of his few personal items he had. Then he put the dagger Sirus gave him in his pocket along with his wand where he could easily find it.

Ron asked him if he was ready and he replied with a simple nod. Together they headed down to the common room to meet Hermione.

Once they got back to platform 9 ¾ they parted ways with simple hugs. Hermione ran to her parents, Ron went to join the rest of the Weasley's and harry was left alone. He went of on his own to the other side of the barrier to find his uncle.

Harry found him and they headed for the car. He threw his trunk and Hedwig in their trunk and hopped in the back. He was silent the whole way home. once he got there is uncle went inside and Harry grabbed his stuff. He started up the stairs tword his room but he only made it up three stairs before his uncle came out of the kitchen.

He yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOY!"

Harry squeaked out, "going to my room."

Vernon continued yelling and said, "YOU DON'T HAVE A ROOM! GET IN YOUR FUCKING CUBOARD!"

Harry flinched and walked quickly down the3 stairs to the cupboard. He put hedwigs cage in the corner along with his trunk before sitting down on his bed as his uncle locked the door.

Vernon said through the door, "I'll be back later when Dudley and Petunia are out. Then you'll Be punished." He started laughing as he walked away.

Harry was not looking forward to later. He really wished his aunt hadn't signed her and Dudley up for a mother-son book club last year. He was really surprised Dudley satyed in it. he was really, really surprised that Dudley could read. His punishment ment one of two things, or both. Both was his worse nightmare.

He figured he should stop thinking about it before his uncle comes back for him to make dinner. And that would be in about 5 minutes.

As he washed the dishes from dinner he whistled. He was lost in thoughts and didn't hear his aunt and cousin leave, or his uncle take two bottles of vodka and chug them, or him walking up behind him.

Sudenly he couldn't breathe anymore.