This is Forever

Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first fanfic; tell me how you like it. I may keep it as only a few shots, or I might make it a full length story, tell me what you think. I DO NOT OWN TSLOTAT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS; THEY BELONG TO BRENDA HAMPTON AND ABC FAMILY.

Amy POV

I rested my head against the cool bathroom wall as sat beside the toilet bowl. I was overcome by another wave of nausea as I heaved into the toilet bowl, emptying out the contents of my stomach. An uncontrollable dizziness came over me as I clutched to the side of the toilet. I closed my eyes attempting to regain my sense of balance. My phone began to alarm and vibrate as the timer went off. I reached onto the counter to grab the long piece of plastic. I didn't even need to look at it, I already knew the answer. This feeling was all too familiar to me. I took in a deep breath as I stared at the results. A small pink plus sign stared back at me. As if it was taunting me, judging me. The look that I had received so often from people around me, but couldn't get used to. Positive.

A million thoughts ran through my head as I put down the test and leaned my head back against the wall and pulled my knees in closer to my chest.

What are you going to do? You're only eighteen, and barely a senior in high school. How did this happen? How did you let this happen AGAIN? What are people going to say? What are your parents going to think? There are so many people you are going to be disappointed. How could you have let this happen to you and Ricky again? How are you supposed to tell Ricky? What is he going to say? How will he take this? Will he be happy or disappointed? Would he blame you and leave you here with John, alone?

I looked down at my left hand. There on my finger lay a ring. Simple but elegant, glistening in the light and sparkling as I moved my hand ever so slightly. It was small, but the meaning behind it was too large to comprehend. It was perfect, simply perfect. My engagement ring. This was Ricky's promise that he would stay by my side for the rest of my life. This soothed my racing mind, knowing that no matter what happened, I would always have him.

I pulled myself up and leaned against the sink, still recovering my strength. I looked into the mirror to see beads of sweat covered across my pale complexion. Almost all the color had drained from my face leaving me to look as if I had just seen a ghost. I turned on the faucet and felt the cool water running through my fingers. I cupped my hands and collected the cool water before gently splashing it into my face. I instantly felt refreshed, but I knew that this feeling would only last a moment. I grabbed a wash cloth and dried my face, thoughts still running wild.

I was so glad that Ricky had taken John out to the park for some father-son time; it gave me time to think.

I had been feeling exhausted and had an uneasy queasy feeling in my stomach for about three weeks know. I had insisted that it was from the stress and lack of sleep that I had been getting, juggling my job, the new school year, and teen motherhood. In the back of my mind, though, I had my suspicions after about a week.

I looked into the mirror to see that I was slowly turning back to my normal complexion, not the pasty pale one I had only minutes ago. As I look I noticed that my boobs were slightly larger, my hips slightly wider, and it looked as if I had gained a few pounds. I wonder to myself if Ricky had noticed any of these subtle changes, but was too polite to say anything.

I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling my knees tight to my chest. The first thing on my mind was when to tell Ricky. I knew that the sooner I told him the better. Truthfully, I feel that I should have said something as soon as I had a serious suspicion, and I know he would have wanted to be with me when I took the test. I don't want this to be something that I keep from him. He should be the first to know. The decision was made; I will tell Ricky the first opportunity that we are alone.

Now the second thing that is plaguing my mind. How do I tell Ricky? The most logical way would be that I just come out and say it, but I knew the chances of me being able to calmly tell Ricky flat out "I'm pregnant," were slim to none. I know that there is no way that I will be able to say it without letting out an uncontrollable and unstoppable amount of tears. I know that Ricky hated to see me cry, and I could see the pain in his eyes whenever tears would roll down my face, and I hated to see him in pain.

I let a single tear roll down my cheek, not bothering to wipe it off. For now, that's all I allowed myself. One tear. I knew that if I left anymore escape, I would never be able to stop.

I looked at the clock. 3:46. Ricky had left with John about an hour ago, and promised to be back by 4:00. This gives me only another 15 minutes to pull myself together for my wonderful fiancé and my adorable son. I got up and walked to the bedroom. I rummaged through the closet to find something comfortable. I could already feel my clothes beginning to get slightly uncomfortable. I looked through my clothes, surveying what I would no longer be able to wear in only a matter of months. I settled on a pair of black yoga pants and a black tank top. After I changed I walked over to the full length mirror and glanced at her reflection. She turned sideways and rubbed he hands gently over her stomach. There wasn't a bump there yet, but it was only a matter of time before it began to swell and protrude.

My mind continued to go through the millions of thoughts in my head. The one at forefront of my mind at this moment was how. How did this happen? The obvious answer was sex. Ricky and I have a great sex life, but we are careful. Very careful. I have been on the pill and we almost always used condoms. We knew firsthand what can happen if you are irresponsible about sex. Those rare times when we didn't use condoms we figured that because I am on the pill, and I am good at taking it regularly, we should be fine. But of course, we are the unlucky percent, as always. God, Ricky and I must be the most fertile people on this planet.

Suddenly I heard the apartment door open and Ricky and John walked into the apartment. I walked out of the bedroom to see Ricky holding a peacefully sleeping John. He carried him into the bedroom and gently placed John down on his bed, pulled the blanket up to his chin and placing a kiss on his forehead. Ricky was such an amazing father to John. He was great with him, and I couldn't have asked for a better father for John. Yes the timing and how he was conceived were not optimum, but Ricky was a great father. I looked down at my stomach and knew that even if he was upset, Ricky would love this baby and be a great father to him or her.

I walked into the kitchen and began to clean and put away dishes, mainly for busywork. My mind was running wild and I needed something to keep me busy. I know that within a matter of minutes I would have to tell Ricky. I really wish I didn't have to tell him. I wish that I wasn't in the situation where I would have to tell Ricky about this, at least not for another five years. I honestly can't take all of these thoughts going through my head and the pressure of keeping it to myself. I need to tell Ricky.

Suddenly I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist. Ricky pulls me towards him and I feel his warm body pressed against my back. I start to wonder if he is able to feel a small bulge on my stomach, even though I know it isn't even close to noticeable.

"Hello, beautiful," Ricky whispers softly in my ear, "John fell asleep in the car on the way home." I continue with the dishes I am washing and smile softly to myself. "Come on Amy, you don't need to do that right now, I'll do it later," Ricky said and I could sense his signature smirk, even if I couldn't see it. I ignored what he was saying and continued with my busy work. I don't know how I can tell him, but now that I know myself, I can't keep it from him.

His strong arms spin me around so that I'm facing him, with his arms still securely around me waist. I keep my gaze away from his face; I can't look at him without imagining the eminent look of hurt in his eyes.

"What's wrong Amy," Ricky says with much compassion and worry in his voice. I kept my head down and said nothing, taking in a deep breath and responding with, "I'm fine." That was the biggest understatement and the most obvious lie.

Ricky gently lifted up my chin, but I quickly turned my head to the side. "Amy, I know you better than anyone, and one thing that I know for sure is that you are most defiantly not fine." Ricky says, still with a tone of worry in his voice, but also a hint of his smirk. He pulls me tight against his body, and I lay my head on his chest. "Just tell me what's wrong, babe. I love you." He says as he places a kiss on the top of my head. As soon as he said that I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst into tears and sobbed against Ricky's chest.

"I love you Ricky," I let out softly through my sobs, "but after I tell you I'm not sure you will feel the same about me," I cried harder and hurried my face into his chest, holding onto the feeling of being in his arms, not knowing if I would be here again. Ricky pulled away from me slightly and guided me towards the couch. I let my feet take me to where I was being led. Ricky pulled me onto the couch with him and laid my head down on his chest again.

"Amy, I love you, just tell me what's wrong." I calmed down slightly from my sobs and sat up. I pulled my legs tight to my chest. "I just don't know how," I whispered. "Just tell me," Ricky whispered back as a gazed at me.

I gazed back at Ricky. Ricky who I loved, who I lived with, who I had a son with, and who I was engaged to. Ricky who was the love of my life. Ricky who, along with John, was my world. Ricky and John were just that, my world and my everything. I guess this new baby was also a part of my world and my everything. Although the timing was anything but great, I loved him or her, and I could never imagine life without him or her in my future. They were a part of my life now too.

I pull in a shaky breath and will my mouth to say the words I can't bear to, "I'm pregnant."

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