Disclaimer

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

Title

Boris's Sex Class

Summary

Realizing he will never take over the world, Boris decides to educate the bladers in sexual matters. His first targets? Blitzkrieg Boys and BEGA.

Authors

chocolatexloverx16 and AquilaTempestas

Just a Small Note...

We decided to give the characters some action, since they don't get enough, if you get our drift.

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Chapter One: Boris the Genius

Boris was a complete failure. He tried not once, but twice to take over the world, and he still failed. It was times like these he just wanted to break down into tears and cry. Why was he such a loser? Why couldn't he be a successful evil mastermind? Determination soon welled up inside him. It was time to stop feeling useless. He had other skills and it was time put these other skills to good use. He still had his stunning physique that drove all the women wild. But why have all the fun?

When he was but a young lad, his father had taught him a very important lesson: Thy hair must always be of the purple shade. It's for the sex appeal after all. His purple hair brought all the ladies to the yard, and they're just like, oh my friggen god you're such a sexy beast. Boris shook his head. He didn't want his students to dye their hair purple; they'd be cramping his style. No, he needed to teach them something else. The joys of puberty.

Boris would be quite surprised if any of his students even knew what puberty was. Now that he thought about it, bladers weren't very smart. All they knew was how to spin a plastic magical top. He remembered the time when Kai asked him what puberty was and the time when Bryan asked him why the thing between his legs was hard. Boris swore he was going to die. How could they be so friggen naive?

Boris sighed aloud, and replayed a scene in his head. Ian and Bryan were arguing about something stupid. Ian had asked Bryan, 'what do you mean it gets hard? Mine doesn't do that,' which resulted in a defensive Bryan calling Ian a liar. Boris had to do something and quick: it was for the bladers own good.

He sat down at his pink fluffy chair and pulled out a notepad and a Justin Beiber pen. He began making notes about what to teach and who to teach. The Blitzkrieg Boys and BEGA would be his first test subjects, except for Spencer of course, because he had already mastered the ways of porn. No, Spencer would be his assistant. He would then require a person to demonstrate. An image of Tala formed in his mind. Tala was a male stripper; he wouldn't mind stripping for his friends. "But what about Ming Ming?" Boris asked aloud to himself. Ming Ming will be the only girl in the room with hormonal guys, but then he remembered she was a slut. She wouldn't mind demonstrating for the sake of education. "Well, I won't have to worry about her being naive at least. However, maybe my students that aren't so fortunate could use some one-on-one learning," he reasoned.

He knew some of his students were difficult, such as Kai. Kai would need one-on-one learning. He was fairly pathetic. Bryan was also pretty lousy. And he didn't want to start on Ian. He was pretty sure Ian didn't even know that a penis was a useful part of the body. Perhaps he could give Michael, Enrique and Emily a call? Michael and Enrique were highly skilled players and Emily was secretly a slut in disguise of a nerd. Yes, that seemed like an excellent idea. He would send them a message on Facebook.

As for the BEGA members, he was sure the guys were just as clueless when it came to the matters of the body; except for the trusty Ming Ming. Her slutty presence would speed the education up a bit. Boris decided he needed a few more girls. After all, Ming Ming couldn't please every guy. That's when he remembered that Mystel was obsessing over this Mariah. She could be the perfect tool for his, well, DO-ing. Literally.

Now that he thought about it, he realized that Mystel was in fact quite a kinky son of a bitch. Boris shuddered when he recalled stumbling upon Mystel's hidden stash of pictures. There were poses and lack of clothing of Mariah that he didn't want to know about. In fact, it was best NOT to think about that day. But where exactly did he get those pictures from? That was a mystery.

Boris sighed and rubbed his temples. What sort of lessons would he teach? He had to start off with the basic stuff first; didn't want his students getting confused immediately. "Sex terms, STD's, positioning, protection, sex organs and hormones," Boris read aloud. "Oh and maybe a questions and answers segment to." He hurriedly wrote down the ideas and smiled to himself. What an achievement.

While he was patting himself on the back, a Playboy flew in the room through the open window. "Ah! This must be a sign! I should add porn to the list! Thank you random Playboy." He bent over to pick it up; he'll look through it later to see if there's much for educational material. Shoving it in his desk, he went back to work. "Is there anything else I should add? While I think, I'll go on Facebook and see if any of the three have responded yet…"

Boris pulled out his mini notepad, hopped onto the internet and loaded Facebook. He typed in his email address and password and waited for the site to load. Three messages awaited him. He clicked the messages button eagerly and read the messages. A broad smile crossed his face and he rubbed his hands gingerly together. "And now the fun begins," he proclaimed. Now to tell the students. This was the difficult part. He sighed. He just hoped this wouldn't be too painful.

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Later that day at the Blitzkrieg Boys Shack...

"Bryan, did you get an email from Boris?" Tala asked his friend cautiously. He read what Boris wanted him to do for his friends and he figured he could, but how would they react?

"If you mean an email about sex education, then… yeah." Bryan sighed. Education always bored Bryan. What could possibly be fun about sex classes? He hoped it was a practical class.

"I got one too…" Ian frowned. "Is this required? This… "sex" thing sounds boring and slightly freaky." He shuddered.

Spencer, however, was afraid of the thought of his naïve teammates learning this stuff. There were certain things that Bryan, Ian, and Kai just should NOT know about. Speaking of Kai, where was he anyway? Did he get the email? Or was he simply sleeping in his big red car race bed?

Before Tala or Bryan could answer Ian, Kai came storming into the room. "HOLY FUCK, you guys! You'll NEVER believe what just happened to me!" His eyes were wide as saucers and he seemed to be in shock.

Bryan snickered. "What? Did you fall into the toilet?" He knew Kai had bad experiences bathroom-related and didn't hesitate to rub it in his face. He was, after all, the MASTER.

Kai shook his head. "No, not this time. Something even WEIRDER happened. So, I touched that weird looking… sausage thing between my legs and it felt good, and then this random white stuff just shot out like friggen magic dudes. What does it mean? Is it a curse? Have I been cursed?" He was growing more scared with each passing second. Did Garland the Magician curse him?

The three just looked at him like he was insane, which was obviously the case. Bryan spoke up again. "Was it hard?"

Kai looked at him. "Actually… it was! Has this happened to you too? Oh my god, are we both cursed?" His expression was beyond horrified now.

Bryan looked the opposite of horrified; in fact, he was feeling triumphant. "HA! I TOLD YOU IAN!"

Ian huffed. "Mine doesn't do that. Both of you obviously have broken… um, whatever they are!"

Kai gasped. How dare Ian call his sausage shaped thing broken! "It is not broken; you're just not doing it right. Here, let me show you."

Spencer HAD to speak up now. "Kai! Guys NEVER spank the monkey together!"

This comment made Kai frown. "Where's the monkey?"

Ian was confused as well. "WHAT MONKEY?"

Tala sighed. "Oh dear." This was going to be a long, painful conversation.

Bryan snorted. "Who said anything about a monkey Spencer? God, you are such a dumbass sometimes."

Spencer mentally slapped himself and hit Bryan. "It's another way of saying masturbate, Bryan."

Bryan whistled his awe. "That's a big word."

Kai blinked. "Mastur-what?"

Ian laughed. "I AM THE MASTER! … But what's the bait?"

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That same afternoon at the BEGA apartment...

Brooklyn was busy staring at the screen his eyes wide open with awe. For the first time in his life he had received an email! No one ever emailed Brooklyn because they thought he was a creep. Brookyn opened the email and read the words aloud. "Sex classes..." Sex. Sounds tasty, Brooklyn thought. He replied to the email telling Boris he and his stupid teammates agreed to attend these sex classes. He hoped it was educational and involved cute animals.

Mystel ran into the room and threw himself at Brooklyn, knocking the poor guy out of his chair. He then picked himself up from Brooklyn and glanced at the message on the screen. His smirk widened. "YES SEX CLASSES!" He threw a fist into the air. This news delighted him. "Sounds good to me," he said aloud to no one in particular.

Brooklyn rubbed his sore head and stood up from the carpet. "Sex classes."

Mystel nodded. "Yes, I hope there's some practical stuff!" His eyes glazed over as disturbing mental images raced through his mind. He grinned. This was going to be very fun. As he drooled over possible topics, Ming Ming, Garland and Crusher entered the room. Garland wore his magician's robe and pointy wizard hat whilst the other two were dressed in normal clothes.

"Why the hell are you dressed in a magician's robe, Garland?" Ming Ming asked. She had to admit; he did look astonishingly sexy though. "It looks really good on you."

Garland forced a grin. "Thanks Ming Ming."

Mystel was too busy drooling to even notice Garland's clothing. Crusher on the other hand just shook his head sadly. Why on earth was he friends with these crazy people? Then he reminded himself that he too was crazy. He had a fetish for turnips. "We've got to attend Boris's sex education classes," Brooklyn said.

Garland frowned. "I thought we were going to a magic show?" He pulled out a wand from a pocket and waved it around in the air. Nothing happened.

Mystel finally snapped back to reality and answered Garland's question with a big smirk. "No, we're gonna get LAID!" He jumped up and down and ran around the room praising the God of Sex. His teammates exchanged worried glances. That boy had too many problems.

"I hope sex doesn't make us insane," Garland muttered. He put back his wand in his pocket and made his way to the door. "Ready for our first lesson?"

The BEGA members nodded. They were ready!

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Back at the Blitzkrieg Boys Shack...

"Bryan, what are you doing?" Spencer asked, quite hesitantly too. Everyone knew Bryan was unpredictable, but even HE didn't know Bryan stripped. Bryan had pulled down his horrible pants ensuring everyone got a good view of his 'goods'.

Tala huffed. "I'M THE STRIPPER AROUND HERE. Don't copy me Bryan."

Bryan smirked. "You're just jealous Tala. Look at THIS!" He pulled his, ahem, sausage out of his pants.

Tala snickered. "Look, you're so puny, hehe."

Kai put his two inche-ahem, cents- in. "Mine is smaller."

Ian smiled wide. "I HAVE A MONSTER, BITCHES!"

Spencer couldn't help but smirk at this. "Please, I am the biggest here. You've heard of the rule, right?"

"… What rule?" Kai asked fearfully. He didn't like rules, they were scary.

"The rule is… if you're exceptionally big in an area, like your nose or feet, or hands, then you have a big dick."

"Dick? Who's that?" Kai asked, suspicious. He didn't like the sound of this "big dick". He didn't like the sound of this "big dick". Was it going to eat him? Or... was Big Dick the nasty RICHARD SIMMONS? How on earth did dick stand for Richard anyway?

Tala sighed. Kai was such a moron. "It's the sausage thing, you moron. The thing that is CURSED FOREVER KAI! FOREVER!" He then laughed evilly.

Spencer attempted to calm Kai down but failed. "Tala, stop it, you're scaring him! Kai, it's ok, you're not cursed."

Tala shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Size doesn't mean quality anyway."

Spencer pondered over this. "Touche, Tala. You might have the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but if you can't use it…" he drifted off, hoping his team would catch his meaning.

Tala frowned. "But I don't have the Leaning Tower of Pisa… that's in Italy."

Spencer facepalmed. Of course his team doesn't get it. Of course.

Kai lit up. "Hey! Even I knew that!" He smiled, for the first time since he arrived. Kai was surely smart.

"I didn't mean… oh, never mind, you're too stupid to understand. Go back to your pole dancing Tala." Spencer sighed. His teammates really were idiots.

Bryan hadn't said anything for some time. He was too busy admiring his "dick". Why would this thing be named after a person? Surely Spencer was kidding? He hoped so. Suddenly, he felt a VERY familiar sensation. "Weeeeeeeee."

Kai knew what that meant. He was well informed in toilet trouble related issues. "No, don't pee Bryan."

Too late. "I did a pee pee," Bryan's lip trembled.

The rest of the team decided to evacuate the room before Bryan leaked anything else.

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Boris smirked. Perfect, I have the BEGA team on board, and the Blitzkrieg Boys are sure to follow. These two teams will become the most sexed up experts in the world, besides him of course! The only question was… could he do it?

And how long would it take?

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AquilaTempestas: Whoa it's been one year since we last updated this account, but we have good reasons. Both of us have been very busy with our own accounts and haven't had the chance to work on our collab stuff. But never fear, we are working on this story... and our other ones too.

Chocolatexloverx16: Yes, what she said! We shall have some time to plan (and horrors to write) just for you guys! Hope you like this one too! ^^