Chapter 00: A Blogger's Discontent

Chiryaku Iriai
Date: October 4
Feeling: Like it's the end of the world.

I knew I'd done something seriously wrong with my life when Houshakuji Renge waylaid me outside my car after school and asked if she could use my story in her next doujinshi. That might sound flattering to people unfamiliar with the otaku, but believe me—and I got it from a friend who read Megane-sama no Love Chronicle—having a tale worthy of her fetish-littered, moe-centric, and generally disgusting doujinshi is not a compliment.

Like every other sane person in the universe would do, I immediately said, "No."

Most people, faced with such a flat rejection, would falter in their stride. Not her, though; she went on as though I hadn't objected. "Oh, Iriai-san," she gushed in a spine-grating voice, the kind that makes people wish they'd been born deaf, "it's very nice. Would you be available next Saturday morning? I'd just love to interview you. It's so moe­-moe that I could eat three bowls of rice!"

There was a pause while my brain tried to sort that out. Renge was speaking at easily three times the normal rate, and I was having trouble following. Then again, I probably wouldn't understand anything that came out of her mouth, no matter the speed. "Mmm," I mumbled.

"You love the Host Club very much, don't you?" she said in a tone of voice that meant she was setting up for a big shocker of a point.

Uh-oh. I could see where this was headed—a direction I really, really, really didn't want it to go. I folded my arms across my chest. Most behavior analysts agree this gesture means "leave me the hell alone," but she didn't get my message.

Renge edged closer to me, the tip of her pen already touching her pink-and-blue Uki Doki Memorial notebook. "Don't you, Iriai-san?" she asked again, more forcefully.

"They have lots of fans," I hedged. My folded arms tightened involuntarily as Renge invaded my personal bubble. Actually, she'd popped the personal bubble a while ago. Now, with her face maybe five centimeters from mine, the brunette was in my intimate space. In an effort to end our conversation and escape, I added, much more curtly than I should have, "So go interview one of them."

"Well, it's just that we all go to have fun." Renge put a slight emphasis on the word "we," as if to make clear I wasn't included in her "we." Who'd want to be, anyways?

"What's your point?" Impolite, I admit, but I was desperate to get away. If you've ever been stared down by a pretty girl with fanatically glowing eyes, you'll understand why.

In contrast to me, Renge looked gleefully moe­-ed up. "We all go to have fun," she reiterated. "But, Iriai-san, you are the only one who went and fell in love."

Oh. Shit.

I don't remember what happened after she made this life-ending statement. Maybe I swore out loud, or gasped, or my mouth fell open, but I like to think I fell off the Earth for a little while. After about ten seconds of whatever-I-did, I regained my senses, got in the car, and slammed the door without a farewell. I was talented enough not to catch the my school dress in the door or something equally embarrassing. Then again, I'd already suffered the worst embarrassment of the year.

On a happier note, the October issue of Love Love Lolita hit the shelves today. Check pages 16-17 for an interview with yours truly! (This is known as shameless self-promotion.) Signing off, unless you say otherwise. It's time for an aspirin.

Ohohoho~hoho...ho...

Yay Host Club :3 I love them all, which is rare... but my favourites are Kyouya and Kaoru. xF Oh, the drool-worthy bodies... and, you know, delightfully twisted personalities x3

Warning: this is my first straight romance... high school romance, no less. Le gasp! \o/
I have become that which I hate! I really hope I can stay away from cliches like that in the story. But I doubt it.
I have a problem with writing romance... Namely the romantic part... So if Iriai ends up rejected, it's not my fault! (Yes, it is.) But I hope she won't be :)
Ut-oh, let's see how this goes. -_-; Well, contrary to my ranting, I actually am excited for this.
Thanks for reading! Feedback? :3