When It Falls
By Skylar

--

In married life three is company and two none.
-- Oscar Wilde

--

12:34 am.

She sat in the living room watching the clock on the wall, and the tick tock of the seconds hand reverberated through the house loudly, but she didn't move. She didn't move when the headlights of his car illuminated the living room and she didn't move when she heard the garage door open and close. She watched the seconds tickle by, her hands under her chin, elbows on her knees, and she finally looked towards the front door when she heard it open.

He threw his keys on the table by the door and left his jacket there, too. She watched him, wondering how many times she would have to tell him his jacket belonged in the closet. She began to realize now that if he hadn't learned to put it away in the last five years, he probably never would.

"It's 12:30," she informed him.

Jake looked up, momentarily taken aback by her presence, but then sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "We have a new case."

She nodded and stood up. "I have a new case, too. I have two, actually."

He began to shake his head, a bitter smile on his face. "I'm not gonna do this, Calleigh."

She nodded, looking away and crossing her arms in front of her. "I'm not asking you to stop working—"

"Calleigh."

"—I'm not even," she stopped, feeling frustrated and angry and ten other things she couldn't identify. She took a deep breath to collect herself. "What I want is for you to be a part of this marriage."

"What?" he exclaimed, taken aback by her comment and then chuckling bitterly. "This is—this is what you're asking me, to be apart of this marriage?" He laughed again, and without waiting for her reply he began his journey up the stairs. She followed. "You're a work of art, Calleigh, did you know that? A real work of art."

"Keep your voice down," she hissed at him.

"No," he exclaimed, walking into their room, "I will not keep my voice down, I'm tired of keeping my voice down."

Calleigh followed him and closed the door softly behind her. "Jake—"

"What? You waited up for me, you obviously wanna get into this," he said. "So let's get into it."

Calleigh gave him a steely look, hundreds of thoughts rushing through her head and voices telling her this was bad and she should calm down, go to bed so they could talk calmly in the morning, but she was tired, tired of living like this, tired of waiting for everything to fix itself. She lived her life on the sidelines, watching it come undone without intervening and she was tried.

"Where were you tonight?" she said, looking down and fearing the answer, her heart beating fast.

Jake chuckled, shaking his head and looking away. "Yeah, that's right. I was out late, I must be cheating on you," he said bitterly. "How about you, honey? Hell, I'm gone all the time, house is empty, you getting a little action on the side?"

She took a deep breath, her jaw clenching and her eyebrows furrowing. She felt the anger like bile on the back of her throat and she wanted nothing more than to slap him, right there, shred him to pieces, but she held back and balled her hands into fists.

"How dare you say that. How would you know what goes on in this house? You're never here," she exclaimed.

"Oh, Calleigh," Jake said bitterly. "I may work too much but that's my biggest problem. I may never be in this house but you've never been in this marriage and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of trying to make this work, I'm sick of coming home and seeing that look on your face—I'm—" he stopped, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I'm done."

Calleigh watched as he walked to the walk-in closet and opened the door with a little too much force, it banged against the wall and her eyes widened when he came back out with a bag. "What are you—"

"I can't do this," Jake said, opening drawers and throwing a bunch of his clothes in the bag. "I can't live like this, maybe you can but I can't. I can't," he sighed.

"So leaving, that's—that's your solution," she breathed out.

Jake shook his head and looked at her. "Why the hell not? I've tried everything else, nothing seems to work, what's keeping me here, Calleigh?"

She looked at him, and it seemed like he wasn't really waiting—nor hoping—for a response. Quickly he filled the bag and she crossed her arms in front of her as he zipped it close, and though she felt sick inside she remained cool on the outside.

"If you walk out that door—that's it," she warned him.

Jake looked at her. Her expression was cold, her posture defensive, and he tried to look for anything that might cause him to change his mind, but it was futile. He shook his head and began to walk away. "Bye, Calleigh."

She didn't watch him go. He rushed his way down the stairs and her body jumped slightly when she heard the front door slam shut. She breathed out then, sat on her bed, her eyes closed, her heart in her throat and her pulse quick, her breathing erratic.

She heard the garage door open again and he was gone.

Calleigh ran her hand through her forehead, and though her fingers were shaky she tried to breathe slowly to keep herself together. She wasn't going to be one of those women, sobbing and wailing for their departed husbands, desperate and desolate and pathetic. She refused to be like that. She was much stronger than that and she knew it. She was better than that, more resilient than that.

"Mommy?"

Calleigh looked up quickly, and her 4-year-old daughter was shyly standing by the door. She instantly plastered a bright smile upon her face, vainly trying to conceal her worry. "Hey, baby."

Annabel looked at her mom with uncertainty, looked at the few pieces of her father's clothing scattered on the floor, and she bit the corner of her mouth anxiously.

"Come here," Calleigh said and the girl ran into her arms. She held her tight, trying not to cry and trying to keep it together because the last thing she wanted was to make her daughter think there was something wrong. She spent her own childhood hearing her parents yell at each other day in and day out, and she didn't want that for Annabel, she didn't want her daughter to have the childhood she had, she didn't want her to grow up too fast and feel too old at such a young age.

So she took a deep breath, feeling anxious and crushed and scared but trying not to show it. She set Annabel down, smiling and running her hands through her daughter's blonde hair, kissing her forehead and holding her little hands like she was her lifeline.

"What do you say we go on a trip," she said.

Annabel's green eyes opened wide and she jumped in place, excited. "To Disney World?!"

"No," Calleigh laughed. She felt her nose runny and sniffed, ignoring the slight wetness in her eyes. "Let's go—let's go farther than that, let's drive for a really long time with the windows down and eat gummy bears in the car."

Annabel giggled happily. "Okay!"

"Okay," Calleigh smiled. Sniffing one last time she stood up, scooping her daughter in her arms. She took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay."

to be continued