Author: GillGirl
Rating: PG
Summary: Veronica and Lamb have a conversation.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters here do not belong to me, and I am not using them for profit.
"Well, well, well. Veronica Mars. You look sluttier than usual. What is it that brings you here today?"
Veronica sighed and tilted her head, looking confused, "I was just wondering, why are the cute ones always such assholes?"
"Is that any was to speak to one of you betters?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't aware that one of my betters was present, Deputy."
"It's Sheriff to you, little miss. I guess I can forgive you just this once, Mars. After all, you did call me cute. Now, will you tell me the reason you're distracting me with your presence?"
"Well, if you just want to get down to business...I need a favor."
"You need a swift kick in your perky little ass,that's what you need. And possibly a labotomy." Lamb smiled, obviously entertained by his own comment.
"Why, Don, is that any way to talk to a young lady such as myself?"
"Don't hold your breath, Mars. We both know there are no ladies here right now. Get on with it."
"Fine. I'm going undercover for a case, and I need you to come with me."
"You're kidding me, right? Get one of your little boy toys to do it. I'm sure they'll help if you give them a little...encouragement."
"They're too young. There's word of an underage prostitution ring in Neptune, and I need you to try to sell me. I already have it all set up. The contacts, a plan, everything. But I need a man to pull it all off."
"Let me get this straight. You're asking me to sell you as a prostitute? Geez, Mars, that's a little extreme even for you."
Veronica sighed, "Come on, Deputy. Are you afraid? I just need the transaction to happen, and then your guys can sweep in and arrest some people. It's not really that much to ask. You should be solving this problem yourself, anyways."
"Let's say I agree to your proposition. What do I get out of this deal?"
"Oh, you mean besides more fame, money, and respect?"
"Yeah."
"What do you want?"
Lamb steepled his fingers and pretended to think, "Well, I want you to stop acting like such an uptight bitch all the time. I also want you to stop barging in my office every couple of weeks asking for favors. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if you left town."
"None of that is going to happen. And I wouldn't ask you for favors all the time if you just found out about this cases by yourself! I'm doing more work than your entire department. You should be thanking me." Veronica finished this rant by placing her hands on her hips and giving Lamb a huffy look, which amused him to no end.
"That'll be the day, Mars, that'll be the day. Well, we better get going so I can sell you to a pervy old man."
"Yeah, okay. Are you driving or am I?"
Lamb stood up and escorted Veronica out of his office, smirking to himself as he watched her butt sway in her miniskirt, and thinking to himself, 'Now who's the pervy old man?'