A/N Eh…idk…that episode was evil…and it's one in the morning…I always write at one in the morning…lol…COLBY IS INNOCENT…oh yeah and I kept thinking of parts of The Raven when writing this so I inserted parts at the beginning and end.
Oh and well obviously this contains spoilers.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more. – Excerpt from The Raven by Edgar Alan Poe
I recall the drive I felt all throughout the case. The need to solve it, the constant nagging in the back of my head that demanded I discover what this old man was trying to tell me. So, I calculated, I ran the numbers, and I found the answer. Colby. He was the answer. There were others, too. But they didn't matter. None of them were part of the team, none of them betrayed me. They may have betrayed their countries but that is not nearly the same as what Colby did.
I did what I set out to do. I found the solution. I always find the solution; but this time I almost wish I didn't. Because if I hadn't been driven by this fervent need to know what the old man meant, to solve his clues , to find the solution; I wouldn't have this feeling of betrayal right now. As a professor I've never approved of ignorance; I always thought it was simply a characteristic of the lazy. Those who did not want to put in the effort to learn. But now I've realized that a sort of peace and comfort comes with ignorance. Knowledge is a burden; Ignorance is bliss.
And I wonder what I would give not to know what Colby did, I wonder if really would be happier if I was ignorant of his spying. When it comes down to it I know that I would be happier, more cheerful if I didn't know what he did, but I don't think I would want to live in ignorance. I've always wanted to find the answer. Always. I was never happy with simply not knowing or not trying to know.
I had to know, and I think that on some level everyone knows when they are being lied to; when they've trusted the wrong person. But not everyone wants to learn the truth. They are happier living in the lie that's been created for them. Sometimes I wish that I could join them, I wish I could ignore the evidence; ignore the numbers. But I can't. They're always there, screaming at me to find a pattern; to solve the puzzle. Find the truth. Numbers are ceaseless they never end, they never leave; and I can't disregard them. There's a certain purity to them, because they never lie, they won't betray you. People betray, they lie, you trust them and they only hurt you. Numbers never lie, they can't betray you. Two plus two will always equal four in the world of numbers but when it comes to people two plus two can equal clock. People don't have to make sense. Numbers do. They always make sense; there are no emotions to scrutinize no thinking to account for. I can trust the numbers, they've never lied to me, and they are constant in their behavior. People aren't. I trusted Colby, we all trusted Colby. We were a team. And he betrayed that.
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, Nevermore.' – The Raven By Edgar Allan Poe
A/N Review…let me know what you thought…although despite this 'seemingly' agreeing with Colby's 'supposed' guilt. I fervently deny that he is guilty of anything. He's COLBY, he couldn't do such a thing! They lie! (scowls at show writers and mutters darkly)