TITLE: DAMAGE CONTROL - Sequel to 'No I In Team'
AUTHOR: PHOENIX333
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters except the ones I make up. They are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is made. My story is for entertainment purposes only.
DISTRIBUTION: Please let me know if it goes anywhere.
TIMELINE: Six months after 'NO I IN TEAM'
SUMMARY: Months later, Buffy is well on her way to recovery and living a life she never would have expected. Secretly she's still devastated from her injury but how long will she be able to hold up the façade before things take a drastic change and she'd forced to reassess her life?
RATING: M - For Language, Violence and Adult themes.
FEEDBACK: Do I even need to ask?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Please read important authors note at end of story!
Thank you so much to each and everyone who sent feedback for "No I In Team', you guys keep the muse alive.
SIX MONTHS AGO . . .
Her voice seemed reluctant when she answered, "But I don't understand, you don't even like me. We fought all the time…" Buffy said, her eyes wide as she stared at the man sitting before her.
Angelus eyes portrayed the regret and sadness he felt, "I fought because it was a way to hide. I didn't want to confess to myself how I felt and I didn't want you to notice. So I did the only thing I could and I pushed you away.
Buffy, I know this is a lot to ask…forgiveness isn't easy to give, but I want to try and earn your forgiveness, and maybe give me a chance to prove myself to you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes." He wasn't above begging and if that was what he had to do then he would do so gladly.
"When you say feelings…what type of feeling s are you talking about?" Buffy frowned, not sure if she understood right.
Angelus grinned, seeing her drop her carefully built walls, just a fraction. This wasn't an opportunity he was going to let pass by, so instead of answering, he moved closer, all the while looking into her eyes, and pulled her towards him the rest of the way.
His lips landed on hers in the next instant, softly caressing her mouth with his, hoping to give her the answer she wanted. He'd dreamed about this moment countless times, and the real thing was even better than his fantasies. When he felt her respond, his heart soared. He wanted to move closer to her, pull her against him and feel her more fully against him, but he held back, knowing he just caught her off guard and not sure of her feelings just yet.
"Does that explain it to you?" Angelus smirked at her, his eyes lowered slightly to gaze into hers…
"So, I'm willing to give you a chance to prove to me that you're not a complete asshole." Buffy said jokingly, causing him to chuckle. Her being humorous about it was good; it meant they had a chance.
"I promise you won't regret this." He said between kisses, as his lips fastened against hers again. Nothing felt as good as having Buffy with him…and having his lips against hers in a passionate kiss…
SIX MONTHS LATER
LOS ANGELES
HYPERION HOTEL
Cursing silently as her ass made contact with the sparring mat…painfully, Buffy glared at her training partner, "Damn it Angel, I told you I can't kick that high…" frustration seeped from her voice and it took all her control not to slap her hands at the mat and express her feelings accordingly. Looking up at said 'partner', Buffy couldn't help but grimace at the pain in her rear from the impact. At least she could enjoy the sight of his body clad only in sweatpants and a fine sheen of sweat from their vigorous training.
Standing only a few feet from her, Angelus couldn't help but grin at her sprawled figure, "Well obviously you can, because you just did." He said humorously as he easily hauled her up against his chest and gave her a short, hard kiss. Wrapping his arms around her waist for a few seconds he relished the feel of her. Like always, his body reacted immediately to her close proximity and he had to let her go before he got carried away and ended their training session early…again.
Scowl firmly in place, Buffy added a pout to show her frustration, "If I could, I wouldn't have landed on my ass." She said as she followed Angelus' lead and settled into a fighting stance once again.
Not even bothering with another reply, she eyed Angelus carefully, waiting for his next move. His dark brown eyes showed humor and confidence as he grinned at her. Once upon a time that grin had made her feel uneasy and hesitant; now it just tempted her to wipe it off his handsome face. If only her leg and ribs weren't killing her then she might have made good on her temptation, but pain and weariness held her back; not that she feared he would harm her, but she feared her own reaction for what was to come.
Slowly advancing on Buffy, he cast a critical eye over her posture, "Stop favoring your leg, I can see it all the way from here and your opponent won't be as nice as I am. When they see you favoring that leg, they are going to go directly for it." He observed calmly, his eyes fixed on her face. He wasn't too worried about it right now, but he knew he had to point out what she was doing wrong if she was even going to have a fighting chance at going back into the field.
Doing her best to keep her weight off her injured leg, Buffy bit back a growl; she knew that, but after the beating she'd just been through she wasn't in the mood to keep up appearances, last of all in front of Angelus. Especially when her leg was all but crippling beneath her, her ribs felt like they were on fire and her temper climbing higher and higher every second.
Even though she knew she shouldn't get angry she couldn't help but feel frustrated. She'd asked Angelus to help her with training to help get hers into the shape she'd been in six months ago. Although he'd been reluctant at first, her perseverance paid off and after much persuasion, he finally relented. Now they trained three times a week along with her regular physical therapy.
All the training was accomplishing though, was wounding her already injured pride and getting her a beating. There was improvement but she felt it wasn't good enough; in fact, she felt it wasn't working at all. Just a few months ago she'd been more than capable in handling herself in hand to hand combat; she'd taken Angelus down and even fought against multiple men at a time, now she couldn't even make him grimace in pain; her blows merely bounced off him.
Seeing Angelus advance, she braced herself against the impending blow. Using every ounce of energy she had, she tried to protect herself. His fist shot out too quickly and connected with her abdomen, the force causing the air to whoosh out of her lungs harshly and making her take a step back. Not one to give up, Buffy countered with her own and connected with his unprotected ribs swiftly.
Angelus smiled in satisfaction; even after her injuries, Buffy still packed a mean punch. She might not have the strength she once had, but there was nothing wrong with her determination. The second her fist connected with his side, he knew he was going to have a rather impressive bruise the next day.
When he saw Buffy grimace in pain and adjust her stance again, he moved to her side, all thought of training left his mind, "You okay?" he asked in a gentle voice as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms soothingly. Buffy always tried to hide her pain, tried to push through it and practice further, but he'd learned how to read her and could now easily tell when she was in pain.
Buffy sighed, knowing it wouldn't do any good lying to him; he always read her like a book and could tell when she was in pain. Sucking in a deep breath, she placed her hand on her leg and the other on her sore abdomen. Even though Angelus was careful with her and didn't put much force into his punches, she still felt the pain as if it was being delivered with full force, not that she would tell him that though. "I think that's enough for today." A sudden wave of dizziness swept over her, causing her to weave unsteadily on her feet.
Angelus' arms came around her the moment he saw the color drain from her face. He cursed himself silently, he knew they should have stopped ages ago but when Buffy asked he could rarely deny her anything and so despite his better judgment, they kept on training.
Carefully lifting her into his arms, he cradled her against his chest and exited the gym. Giles appeared instantly, a worried expression on his face. Angelus gave him a reassuring smile before he left the training area and made his way to their room.
As Angelus carried her up the stairs, Buffy remained silent, too sore and tired to complain. Folding her hands around his neck for support, she leaned her head against his chest and eased into the warmth of his body, melting against him and taking comfort in his presence.
When she was cradled against him, nothing else matter to her, everything faded away; her pain from her injury; her devastation at losing her dream; her pride at being injured on duty and not being able to protect herself; and disappointment for not making the progress she was supposed to. As long as Angelus was with her, she could handle things and stay strong for a little while longer. Burrowing farther into his chest, she inhaled his scent and placed a soft kiss to the exposed column of his neck.
Angelus pressed his lips together tightly as he felt her soft lips touch him. Now wasn't the time to get all primal on her. She needed rest to recover, and here he was, thinking of how much he wanted to ravish her until neither of them could get up in the morning. So instead he placed a kiss on her head and forced himself to push ahead.
Entering their room he gently deposited her on the bed then went into the bathroom to start the shower. While waiting for the water to warm, up he collected her again and placed her on the bathroom counter to discard her clothing. First her shirt and bra, then her sweats and panties; even though the gesture was intimate, his hands gliding softly over her tired and aching body, he made no attempt to touch her sexually, instead wanting to care for and ease her.
Not bothering to close the bathroom door as no one would dare to enter their room, he quickly undressed himself then stepped into the shower, placing Buffy under the hot stream. Making quick work of washing their tired and sweaty bodies, he had her wrapped in a large fluffy towel within minutes.
First drying himself off in a rush, he then took care drying every part of Buffy's body, taking his time to admire her. Not bothering to dress them, he pulled the bed covers back and had them settled in within seconds. Buffy quickly drifted off to sleep, her body giving in to exhaustion and pain.
Angelus however, stayed awake for hours, his mind racing with troubled thoughts. He knew just as well as everybody else how frustrated Buffy was about her injuries and lack of progress. No matter how many times the doctors and the team told her to take it easy, she would still push herself farther than she was supposed to. No one recovered from that kind of injury so quickly and Buffy was no exception. Not only was her leg still healing, but she also had three gunshot wounds and internal injuries that would take a long time to fully heal.
Their training sessions along with the physical therapy helped a great deal, she was just expecting too much too soon. Time and patience were the only things that would heal her but she simply chose to ignore that and pressed on, pushing her injured body harder and harder each day, only to be disappointed in herself.
Despite the doctors' orders, Buffy began training as soon as possible after her injury but even though she made remarkable progress, she wasn't near to where she used to be. She was having trouble with basic fighting maneuvers; things that had once been like second nature to her were now strenuous torture at times.
But Buffy had never been a quitter and he admired her relentless perseverance. Week in and week out she remained committed to her training; even though he could see she was starting to realize just how big an impact the injury had actually made on her life, and career.
As the doctors reported on her leg and condition after the injury, he could see the disbelief and ignorance flashing in her eyes. She refused to take their advice, refused to follow their orders and she simply refused to believe that she wouldn't make a full recovery.
Her injury wasn't just something that could be healed completely over time; the damage was severe and even though she chose to ignore it, she couldn't change the fact that she might never fully recover to her former state.
Try as she might, she couldn't hide her feelings from him; they were to clearly expressed on her beautiful face. The devastation she felt ate at him until it became a physical ache in his chest. The knowledge that she wouldn't be able to resume her former life and career was terrible to accept and she chose to ignore it, believing she would be different.
Everyone knew her career was her passion but the sad truth was that she would have to face it sometime; she might never be able to go back into the field as a Special Forces Agent. Circumstances have forced her to re-evaluate her future, and Angelus understood that it was very hard for her.
Angelus wished Buffy would share her feelings about the incident with him, and even though he burned to know, he knew not to push her too soon. She was still too raw and emotionally unstable and he wasn't about to push her if she wasn't ready. It would take time but when she was ready, she would open up to him and share a part of herself that she'd managed to keep well hidden for the past six months.
Angelus would never openly admit it to anyone, but their situation wasn't as bad and hopeless as Buffy would think. Considering the circumstances, he'd never been happier in his life. His and Buffy's relationship had changed considerably over the past few months and he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy about said changes.
After he'd gone to see Buffy in San Diego and confessed how he felt about her, he was ecstatic to learn that the feelings weren't one sided. They made weekly trips back and forth between L.A. and San Diego and he felt like a giddy teenager whenever he knew he was going to see Buffy again. He'd endured countless hours of pestering from his team mates but he didn't mind one bit; where Buffy was concerned, he didn't mind a lot of things.
Like they discussed, they took things slow and easy, wanting to get to know each other better in a more personal level and trying things out so see how it went. Understandably Buffy was still a bit reluctant about him but he soon remedied the situation and she started easing up around him more. Trust and forgiveness was a hard thing to come by and he knew Buffy would need time; time he was more than willing to give her.
Over time she loosened up and started opening herself and trusting him. He learned tiny details about her that fascinated and amazed him and he wondered how he hadn't noticed it before. Buffy was such an open and caring person but he'd been too blinded by rage and jealousy to even notice. He'd known she cared for the team but he didn't know just how much until he watched her interacting with them. Like him, she cared for them like they were her family and he knew that she would do anything to make them happy and protect them. In all truth, he figured they were her family and that thought was a very good one.
When she first arrived at the mansion he didn't even bother to get to know her better and he judged her unfairly. Where he'd thought she was self-centered and egotistical, he'd learned that she was actually a very caring and down to earth person. She cared the people she had in her life, and she would stand up for them without even blinking an eye.
Once they got more comfortable around each other and things got a more intimate, he asked Buffy to stay over with him at the mansion during the week as he found it frustrating and unbearable when she wasn't close to his side. They felt into an easy routine and he was getting used to waking up to her every day and loving it more and more each time.
Then when they had been together for four months he took a leap and asked her move back to L.A, to the Hyperion and more specifically… into his room. Buffy had been surprised and reluctant at first but he told her he didn't want to waste a second of their time together. As Buffy was head over heels in love, she gave in and they'd been happy about the decision every day.
Having her with him every day was like a gift from the heavens; going to sleep and waking up with her in the mornings were like a dream come true for him. Now, they were like any other, normal couple, always together, always touching and it was obvious to everyone how much they cared about one another.
He constantly watched her interacting with the people around them and still found it hard to believe that he found her, and that she gave him a second chance. Not many people would have done that but that was just another testament to the wonderful person she was; and she was all his.
Spending time with her was much easier now that she wasn't actively in the field at the moment; not that he would admit it but he was secretly glad about that. In fact, he also didn't mind that her recovery was talking long either. Truth was, Angelus was just so terrified that something would happen to her again and he liked the idea of her being out of harm's way.
Currently she was working with Giles, helping with managing the Hyperion team and recruitment for several other Special Forces teams they managed. Giles loved working with her immensely and everyone could tell she was having a good effect on him as well. Their usual stuffy manager had been replaced with someone more light hearted and easy going, and who also started joking around with them from time to time, something they never would have thought possible, but it was all for the better.
Angelus was happy to see that Buffy also enjoyed her current job description as it gave her a semblance of meaning and order in her previously disheveled life. It would take time…a long time, but Buffy would heal eventually. Just as long as she knew she had the support and understanding from her team and family, Angelus was sure she would make it through this difficult time in her life.
# # # # # # # # # # #
Four hours later, after laying awake the entire time, Angelus got out of bed and pulled the door to their room closed with a soft click, not wanting to wake Buffy unnecessarily. Anxiety and stress was keeping him awake again, like most nights the past couple of weeks. Not that Buffy knew, he made sure to be very quiet whenever he couldn't sleep. Standing outside their bedroom, Angelus ran a hand through his disheveled hair and let out a weary sigh.
Going downstairs to the kitchen, he was surprised to find Giles reading a file over a cup of tea. Grabbing a cup from the cupboard he poured himself some freshly brewed, hot coffee and settled into the chair opposite Giles. Both were silent as they took sips from their cups, neither focusing on the other at first.
After a few moments of silence Giles glanced at Angelus over the rim of his glasses, "How is Buffy?" He enquired lightly although worry made his tone sound gruff. Giles might seem aged but he was as aware as any one of the team was and he didn't miss a single thing that went on around the mansion.
Like most days when Buffy and Angelus trained together, Giles kept close enough to keep an eye on her. Luckily Buffy hadn't noticed and Angelus was pleased to have an extra set of eyes watching Buffy for any signs that he might miss.
His eyes traced every movement Buffy made as she sparred with Angelus and not one flinch or grimace went unnoticed between the two men. It was evident to anyone watching that Angelus put little effort into the sparring sessions with Buffy; he held his power in check and softened his blows considerably, but Giles suspected Buffy still felt them like they were delivered with full force.
Giles had been seated on one of the bunks, going over some paperwork as the sounds of Buffy complaining acted as a soft background noise. But he'd clearly heard the change in her voice, heard her breathing start to get labored and as he looked up and saw her start to sway lightly on her feet, Giles dropped his files and rushed to their side, only to see that Angelus had her already cradled to his chest and taking her back upstairs.
Concern made his stomach tighten painfully but even though he was anxious and worried, he left Angelus to tend to Buffy, knowing that he would let him know if he was worried. As much as he would have like to overwhelm Buffy with concern and care, he knew that they all had to act strong for her part. She didn't want to feel like she was incapable and a burden to them, and he only relented because he didn't want to hurt her feelings…otherwise she would have been drowned from all the worry and care the team would have given her.
Smiling fondly at the thought of how the team looked and paraded around her, Giles couldn't help but think how unusual it all looked. The Hyperion team was legendary for their control, strength and capability at handling dangerous situations; they apprehended some of the most dangerous criminals in the world but as soon as a petite young woman was injured, they all transformed into overly concerned big brothers, eager to do her bidding.
Angelus remained silent for a few long moments, his gaze training into his cup as if looking for answers from the dark liquid it contained. Sighing heavily, he looked up at Giles, "She's expecting too much too soon. She pushes herself too hard…nothing new." He stated dryly, feeling beyond frustrated. He loved Buffy's perseverance but sometimes she just didn't know when to take a break. Like everyone else, he was afraid that she might hurt herself in her haste, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to stop her once she set her mind to it.
Giles chuckled softly in understanding; he knew just as well as Angelus how hardheaded Buffy could be. Despite everyone's recommendations and worry, Buffy ignored them and pushed on, pushing herself harder, and at times she pushed too hard even though she knew she shouldn't. Everyone was worried about her but she just waved it off with a casual smile; as if she wasn't frustrated herself; as if she wasn't devastated by her injury and lack of progress.
A faint smile tugged at Angelus' lips as he thought about earlier that day, "She's improving some, she actually managed to knock the wind from me earlier." The grin died as quickly as reality settled in and was replaced with a deep frown.
Giles nodded, he and Angelus both thinking the same thing; just months before Buffy had been able to take down men twice her size; now they were pleased that she managed to knock her sparring partner a half step back; a partner who didn't put any force in his punches and actually allowed her to get the upper hand.
Had Buffy been in a dire situation, had she been forced to defend herself for real, she wouldn't have stood a chance. Her opponent or attacker would have taken one look at her and had her down on the ground and subdued within a matter of seconds… Not that Angelus would ever allow that to happen; he would never leave her alone or allow her to get into a situation that would have her need to defend herself.
Hearing the self loathing and blame in Angelus' voice, Giles stated firmly, "You must stop blaming yourself for what happened to her Angelus, it was not your fault." He'd told him that countless times before but he knew Angelus was still struggling to come to terms with what happened, and he doubted that it would change. Angelus was a proud man and to know that a member of his team suffered while under his leadership, he wouldn't forgive himself easily…especially since it was their new, female recruit.
Not looking at his mentor and manager, too scared of what he might see in his eyes, Angelus continued to stare into his cup, "I was supposed to look out for her. I was supposed to make sure she made it out in one piece. It's my fault she's stuck in physical therapy; it's my fault she's stuck behind a desk when her passion is being in the field." Angelus said the last part in a harsh growl, his anger seeping through.
Clenching his fist, he thought back to that night again, thought back to what happened and everything Buffy had been put through because he couldn't keep a level head; because he hadn't been looking out for her like he was supposed to. Angelus was known for his legendary control and level head, but one look at Buffy and all that flew out his ears.
Wouldn't his peers just laugh their butts off at him if they knew he'd been bowled over by a beautiful young woman? Angelus had always sore he would never allow his attraction to a woman to get the better of him; he'd never be blinded by lust or attraction…but that was exactly what happened.
The moment Buffy trained her bright green gaze on him and smiled that pretty smile, it was like he'd been punched in the heart and he didn't stand a chance. No matter how hard he tried to deny it; not matter how he tried pushing her away, he was immune to her and he never stood a chance. Not that he cared what his peer would say if they saw him now; they could make fun of him all they wanted, he had Buffy in his arms, in his bed each night and that was all that mattered.
Still lost in thought, Angelus vaguely heard Giles start to interrupt him, "Angelus…" he started, shaking his head in denial.
But Angelus kept talking, needing to get this out before he lost his nerve. Someone had to know and he knew he could trust Giles, "And you know what the worst part about it is? Even though I know how much she loves her job…I don't want her to recover enough to be able to go back to it." Shame strained his usually confident voice.
Giles stared at him, shocked at what he heard and saw in Angelus' eyes. Silently he stared at the man he considered a son, "What?" his voice didn't waver as he looked back at him, but he slowly sat more upright in the chair. Could it possibly be…? He didn't dare to hope before, but with Angelus' confession…
Angelus shook his head, "I don't want her back in the field Giles. I'm too scared something will happen to her again. I…Buffy…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say and closed his eyes against the pain and fear he felt.
A ghost of a smiles graced Giles face, "I don't blame you… I don't want her to go back either." When he saw Angelus shocked expression he tried to be humorous, "I like working with her too much, there's never a dull moment with her…" It was merely one reason why he didn't want her to go back.
Needing to share his own truth, he continued, "I understand how you might feel; I don't want to see her hurt again either. After what happened… I don't want to tempt faith and send her back."
He wasn't a superstitious man, but he believed that Buffy had been spared for a reason. If he could, if he had the power and heart to disregard Buffy's feelings, he would have put her on permanent desk duty; where she would be safe and protected. But he couldn't do that; he knew how important this was to her and he knew there would come a time that he would have to send her back into the field against his better judgment and wishes.
They shared a smile and Angelus was beyond relieved to hear that he wasn't the only one who felt that way. He should have talked to Giles earlier; spared himself a lot of guilt and stress and sleepless nights.
Always realistic, Giles kept his voice even, "Ultimately, it is Buffy's decision and when she recovers and she wants to go back into the field, that's her choice, we can't make it for her." How he wished he could; make her see things from his point of view and realize that she didn't belong there anymore; if only she could see how fortunate she'd been in having another chance.
Angelus nodded somberly, he knew as well but that didn't mean he had to like it. Buffy was still a long way from total recovery and maybe he could use that time to change her mind. Not that that would be easy…nothing about Buffy was easy as he had learned over the past few months. But if it was truly what she wanted, he wouldn't…couldn't… deny her. He would never hold her back from her dreams and even though it might kill him, he would stand back and allow her to follow the path she wanted.
When Giles stood up and placed his cup in the sink, Angelus remained seated, not ready to turn in yet; needing a few more minutes to gather his thoughts and level his mind. Tonight had been a sort of eye opener and he still had to put everything in perspective.
Giles patted him on the shoulder, a gesture of support, understanding and love, "The trainees will be arriving at seven in the morning. Get some sleep Angelus." He said then left to get some much needed rest.
Angelus nodded, the training program wasn't going to wait while he got himself under control. Like everyone else, he had a job to do and he wouldn't neglect it. Heading back up to his room, he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep, not that he minded, he'd functioned on little sleep over the years and over time he got used to it.
It was a shame that Buffy couldn't be there with him for the training tomorrow. Not only would she have been a huge help, but he wanted to spend more time with her, he knew the team missed her as well and the training with the potential recruits would have been an ideal opportunity.
Smiling to himself he thought about how clever Giles played his cards; he'd whisked Buffy out right under his nose, seemingly having gotten a bit spoiled with having her along on his usual tasks. Not that he blamed him, Buffy lit up whatever was around her, even the most unpleasant settings and he was sure she made things a lot easier for Giles since she started helping him.
Silently entering the room, he slipped under the covers and pulled Buffy against him. Her small body curved around his and as he placed a kiss on her shoulder he heard her satisfied sigh slip past her lips. Giving her a quick hug, he wrapped himself around his sleeping girlfriend, hoping to follow her into sleep soon…
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #