Disclaimer: I own nothing
Crack!Fic
America x Canada, mentioned Ukraine x Fem!Canada, England x Mochi!Canada, France x Neko!Canada, Holland x Colony!Canada
Ottawa, Canada
"What are you so happy about?" Canada asked somewhat suspiciously as America cuddled into his side so tightly that it seemed he was trying to mend them together (a pretty dangerous concept to the Canadian, he had t admit).
"Nothing~!" America sang, flipping on top of the Canadian and giving a bright and enthusiastic grin, "Guess what, Mattie?" He didn't even bother to wait for his brother nation's guess, "Nobody's gonna interrupt us this time! Not like all of the other times!"
Canada scrunched his eyes, ignoring the fact that America picked his glasses off his face and threw them to the floor while giving him an alluring look, "Why do you think that?" He asked, though America only responded by kissing down his throat.
"It doesn't matter," America replied huskily, "Nobody will bother us this time," He curled his hand into Canada's soft blond hair, grinning almost manically when his partner sighed softly contently, 'The little magic club that Iggy always raves about does come in handy. I definitely owe you one, Norway, Romania...'
~00~
Kiev, Ukraine
"And you say that you are Canada?" Ukraine blinked confused blue eyes, tilting her head back and forth like a curious puppy, "But you are... are a female?"
"Yes," Canada replied, her long twintails bobbing with the motion of her head, "I am Canada – Madeleine Williams," She answered, nervously glancing around, "But I'm not quite sure how I got here," She murmured, observing the Ukraine of this place (since the one she was used to was very much a male), "There was this flash of light and then I was here."
"Oh," Ukraine patted down her short hair self-consciously, well aware how Fem!Canada's eyes traced over her entire figure, "I am Katyusha Braginskaya," She said awkwardly, blushing when Fem!Canada's eyes seemed to be locked onto her impressive bosom, "Miss Madeleine?"
"O-oh, sorry!" Canada stammered, flushing red herself, "It's just that..." She swallowed, not wanting to reveal her attraction to the other female while Ukraine had to resist the urge to lustfully jump at the blonde Canadian because of that heated look, "You're very pretty..."
Who was to judge that she appreciated big breasts?
~00~
London, United Kingdom
"What the bloody hell are you?" England grumbled, poking curiously at the little creature while it emitted cute little noises, "And where did you come from?" It kinda resembled those mochi that Japan was fond of eating (only it had a hair curl and a little bear strapped to its side).
"Hello!" The thing chirped in a high-pitched voice, "I-I'm f-from..." England's large brows shot up his forehead when the thing started to turn red (like it was actually blushing), "I-I'm from...!" It squeaked, suddenly revealing small little Canadian flags and began to wave them frantically.
England blinked, watching in almost amusement as its eyes seemed to swirl from pure embarrassment, "I-I'm from Canada...!"
"Cute little bugger," England admitted, poking it again and almost smirking when it squeaked in shock and he wasn't too sure why, but he had the urge to name it–
"Martin, that suits you..."
~00~
Paris, France
Two pairs of blue eyes stared at each other until a sigh broke the silence and one pair glanced away in defeat.
"I do not know where you came from," France said, watching the white cat with the black fur around its neck shy away from him, "But I will not hurt you," He murmured, flicking the little curl of fur that stuck out, "Besides, you are much too small to–" France glanced down in shock as the cat slammed his paws on his mouth and stopping what he was going to say while the white fur on it face seemed to glow a hot red and it let out a few shy meows.
"Ahh ~ petite chat, you do remind me of mon darling Matthieu..."
~00~
Amsterdam, Holland
"M-Mister Holland?" The tiny colony glanced up with timid eyes and clutched his white frilly nightgown nervously, "W-where's Mister England? A-and why are you staring at me like that?"
Holland said nothing, not bothering to wipe the drool from his chin as he grabbed the small Canadian (ignoring his shocked cry) and quickly headed to his bedroom.
He had forgotten how much Canada had looked like a cute little girl back when he was a colony...
~00~
Ottawa, Canada
"Yep... no more interruptions," America said happily, knowing the other nations that were close to Canada were probably dealing with Canada's alternate forms at this point while he enjoyed his time with the original one, "No more!" And the heat in his groin just seemed to freeze away as a snicker sounded from underneath Canada's bed.
"Kesesesese ~ that's what you think!"
"I JUST WANT MY ALONE TIME WITH MATTIE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"