See Me

When I look into the mirror, I see Meimi Haneoka, a girl with long auburn hair and innocent blue eyes. There's a smile on her face, but when I look past that smile, I cry. I cry because I see someone else, someone who you only want to see. Who they only want to see.

Not me.

I hold up my hair and the person in the mirror changes. It's not me anymore. Instead, there is a beautiful and graceful girl. Her dark blue eyes are mysterious and they flash with mischievousness, shining with skill and intelligence. When I look in the mirror, I see Saint Tail.

Wonderful, heroic Saint Tail, who's mature and always saves the day. Saint Tail, who everyone loves and idols.

I hate her. But at the same time, I envy her, and I suppose that's why I hate her so much. It's so frustrating. I want to be just like her, but I can't. How can I, when I am her? She has everything she wants. Everything I want. Everything I don't have.

But most importantly, she has you. And I guess that's what hurts most.

I went to school today and I saw you talking with your friends. I watched you silently. Your hair, your eyes, your lips, I love everything about you. How you laugh, how you stand, how you make wild gestures when you talk.

Then I heard you talking. You were talking about Saint Tail, me. You were talking about me. But I guess that's wrong, isn't it? You never talk about me.

I called out to you, asking to also hear about your encounter with Saint Tail. I didn't need to, I already knew. I had been there. But it didn't matter, I'd use any excuse to hear your voice.

You finished your story and puffed your chest out importantly. I hid a smile, inquiring something about Saint Tail. You got angry and we started arguing. I don't remember over what, but I didn't mind. If this was the only way that you would talk to me, then I'd take it. But—

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SAINT TAIL!"

Do you realize how often you say that? And every time you say it, it's like one knife after another piercing my heart.

I know Saint Tail. I know her so well, it hurts. I know her because she is me, and I am her.

I always manage to yell back at you and stomp away just in time to hide my tears. I don't want you to pity me, or hate me even more. Bumbling Meimi. Stupid, clumsy Meimi. Meimi the cry baby. You hate me.

I love you.

But when you look at me, the only person you see is her.

Only her.

Never me.

Why don't you ever see me? What's so wrong with me? Am I so bad to look at? Am I so horrible to be with, to talk to?

During the day, you never look at me. You never even give me a second glance.

But at night, when I turn into Saint Tail, you run after me, you call out to me.

You see me.

No, not me, her. You chase her. You call her. You see her.

Always her.

Never me.

How is it that the person I'm competing with, is myself? How can I keep trying, knowing that she has already won? Why can't you just see? It's me you're in love with, not her. Me. It's always been me.

But you don't see me, do you? You never have. To you, it will always be her.

Always.           

The mirror breaks with my heart. It cracks in two, and I stare at it. There are two reflections, two people, two faces staring back at me.

But you only see one.

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Well, what did you think? This is my first time at one of those short stories on someone's thoughts and stuff, so I'm really anxious to know how it was. Please please please review! I'd appreciate it sooooooooo much!!