This story is based in the present, when Hostess have gone down and out of business and Twinkies are in major demand. On Ebay.
-France and America are talking about culture and art-
France: Your people have NO creativity at all!
America: Yes we do! We came up with the Statue of Liberty!
France: No you American imbasile you stole those blue prints from us!
America: No you stole them from us!
France: NO I DIDN'T!
America: If we had "No creativity" how did we come up with TWinkies!?
France: What the bloody hell is that!?
America: They're the most delicious packaged pastry in the world!
France: How come I, who is the master in fine food, have never heard of such a thing!?
America: Uh, because you have your head up your butt along with your silver spoon!?
France: I DEMAND YOU SERVE ME ONE OF THESE SO CALLED, "TWINKIES" AND I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF ITS "DELICIOUSNESS"!
-America disappears and brings back a twinkie on a silver plate lined with a doily-
America: You are lucky i'm feeling genorous today! These are now part of an endangered species of pastries... -looks all serious-
-France eyes America suspiciously as he slowly (in slow motion) lifts the twinkie to his mouth and takes one bite-
France: Oh mon dieu!
America: Let me guess... Now you're gonna rename Notre Dame?
France: Well I WAS... Until you said it. I can't be influenced by you redneck American filth! -leaves in a huff back to Paris-
-By the time France returns home, Russia, Germany, England, and the Nordics have all tried them. At this time, America is auctioning one-fourth of his Twinkie stash (which is ALOT)
on Ebay which begins a bidding war between the all the mentioned countries. All the countries are using random user names so none of them know they are battling eachother.-
Denmark: BIG MONEY BIG MONEY!
Iceland: Seriously? I've known you for how long?
This is so not you to use so much money on a PASTRY!
Norway: Ah, let him be little brother. NOW CALL ME BIG BROTHER!
Iceland: NEVER!
Sweden: I'm not letting you use any of my money for this foolishness, right Finnie!?
Finland: Why'd you drag ME into this! I have nothing to do with this!
-In Germany-
Germany: Italy give me your money!
Italy: Why Germany!? I have no money and if I did I would buy PASTA!
Germany: GIVE ME GIVE ME! -Wrestles Italy for his wallet-
Italy: AHHHH! HERE HERE HERE!
Germany: Ok! Bidding 15,000 Euro!
-Italy is gaping at that price-
-In England-
England: I'm bidding 50,000 pounds!
-England smiles with assurity-
-Back to America-
America: Ok! Looks like its 50,000 pounds for- WAIT!... -checks the price again-
1 MILLION RUBLES! From... Belarus!? SOLD!
-In England-
England: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-Breaks down into tears then an idea strikes him as a cook book falls on his head-
England: I WILL MAKE MY OWN TWINKIES!
-Smiles like a moron-
-So he gets working trying to make his own Twinkie recipe. He works for weeks when finally he finds the "perfect" way to replicate the pastry. He packages and mass produces them and ships them everywhere in the world claiming to have resurrected the Twinkie.-
-In Germany-
Italy: GERMANY! GERMANY! Isn't this what you tried to buy!?
Germany: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS!?
Italy: The store had them! It looks like they are being made again!
Germany: GIVE ME THAT! -tackles Italy for it-
-Takes a bite and throws up-
Germany: OH MEINGOTT! -becomes red with fury-
Germany: These are disgraceful!
Italy: -Looks closer at the box- It says made in Britain!
Germany: Well that explains it!
-In Denmark-
Denmark: Finally! They are being made once again!
-Fangirl-squeels with joy- I knew they couldn't stay gone for long!
-Takes a bite and spits it out-
Denmark: Uhhggg! -Gets out his ax and cuts the box in half- THOSE ARE IMPOSTERS!
Iceland: I knew it by the "Made in Britain" label.
-In America, England is crying-
England: I thought I had found the perfect replica recipe! -Sniff-
America: Did you put poison in them?
England: No I just put some hydrogen peroxide!
-America pukes- You trying to kill us all!?
England: I didn't know it was poisonous!
America: Some things were just meant to come to an end, my friend. -puts one arm around England-
-Meanwhile in Russia. Russia is watching a loading truck leave the driveway of a warehouse.-
Russia: Thank you! -waves goodbye-
-Belarus comes storming up looking evil-
Belarus: Russia! Have you been using my credit card again!?
Russia: No, Belarus, that was Prussia!
Belarus: Ugh! This time its a charge of 1 million ruble! -screams in anger and leaves-
-Russia covers his ears through the screams-
Russia: That hurt...
-Russia turns to the warehouse after shes gone,
and opens the door. Inside is stocked floor to celing with boxes of Twinkies.-
Russia: Hmm, not bad. I'm not a big fan, myself but my people should enjoy them for a while!
-Sadistic smile- Kolkolkolkol!
THE END.
