NOT DEAD YO! Just...lacking in inspiration. The second part is gonna be longer than this.

Camping Trip: Part 1

Takes place when the Reds were in Valhalla, I guess.

"So, why are we going on this trip, sir?"

"Well Simmons, this way we'll be able to bond as a team and defeat the blues with impeccable coordination and teamwork. Haven't ya seen 'em? Always bickerin' at each other."

"Uh, but don't we do that too?" Grif put in.

"Which is why we're gonna eliminate disagreements with team bonding exercises!"

FireHawk asked, "Do I count?"

Grif turned to her. "Of course you do!"

Sarge shrugged. "Kinda. I'd rather have you here than on the blue's side, what with your witchcraft 'n all."

"It's not witchcraft, it's SUPER AWESOME MAGICAL INSANITY POWERS!"

The red leader sighed, "Never mind, start packing."

"Well of course we're bringing the tent!"

"I thought we were just gonna sleep in the puma!"

"It's not a puma, Grif, it's a warthog!"

FireHawk stared back and forth between Grif and Simmons, before she shrugged, taking the tent from the maroon soldier and loading it into the trunk.

She went back to stand near them as they yelled at each other about packing.

"Are you kidding me?! We NEED to bring toilet paper!"

"Then you're not really camping!"

FireHawk was starting to see why they needed team bonding. She sighed, pushing the two apart. "Just each pack his own bag. Kay?"

Grif and Simmons nodded before going their separate ways to pack their own bags. In the meantime, FireHawk began to load up the food.

Donut walked out carrying his bag, already packed, and his sleeping bag. Taking a look at what FireHawk was doing, he asked, "Why do we need so many marshmallows?"

"Because of Grif."

"Oh..."

Soon, everyone had their bags loaded into the jeep. Simmons yelled "Shotgun!" and FireHawk and Grif cursed under their breaths.

Sarge climbed into the drivers seat and they set off.

Only about thirty minutes into the road trip, a three way argument between FireHawk, Grif, and Simmons came up.

"GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE BAR!"

"I HAD IT FIRST!"

"OH MY GOD THAT THING IS TWO WEEKS OLD DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

FireHawk and Grif continued to fight over the chocolate bar that FireHawk had found as Simmons yelled at them not to eat it. Donut was ignoring them and reading a magazine.

Sarge just about had it. "Ya'll better SHUT UP or ah'm turnin' this car around!"

Donut finally looked up at his surroundings. "Are you sure you're going the right way? It looks like we're in the middle of a desert."

"Of course ah know where ah'm goin! Or ah wouldn't be drivin'!"

"I don't know...maybe we should ask for directions..."

"Well there ain't no one to ask! An' besides, Red Team doesn't ask for directions!"

Grif glared at FireHawk. "Thanks to your yelling, we're lost!"

FireHawk glared back. "Excuse me? But you're the one who tried to steal my chocolate bar!"

Simmons held his head in his hands, obviously getting a headache. He yelled, "OH MY GOD WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP?! IT'S TWO WEEKS OLD ANYWAY, WAS ON THE FLOOR, AND PROBABLY REALLY DISGUSTING! NOW WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE THE HELL WE'RE GOING AND YOU TWO ARE ARGUING OVER A CHOCOLATE BAR THAT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER AND WOULD GIVE YOU FOOD POISONING!"

The whole car fell silent after that.

That silence only lasted for a few hours. Sarge had found his way back onto the route, but Donut needed to use the bathroom, and Grif and FireHawk were complaining about how hungry they were. Simmons was somehow sleeping through all this.

It drove the red leader insane. His right hand man wasn't awake to help him deal with all the ruckus in the back, so he had to put up with complaining for until they found a gas station.

Unfortunately, there was no gas station in sight. Eventually, FireHawk and Grif ignored Simmons' warning, and split the chocolate bar. They were that desperate.

Sarge had just about enough at this point. He slammed the brakes and turned around. "All right, Donut, you're gonna have ta go in the bushes, and FireHawk and dirtbag can just go and eat some dirt. Cause I've just about had it with you three."

As all three of them exited the car, Donut to find a well sheltered place to use the bathroom, and FireHawk and Grif to find something edible and tasty, Sarge sighed and turned to a sleeping Simmons. "I could just leave 'em here, or kill 'em all, and no one would ever have ta know. No one."

Later, the trio returned and Simmons was awake, but something was up. Sarge could tell by the disturbed expressions on FireHawk and Grif's faces and Donut's overly happy mood.

Sarge sighed out, "All right, what happened?"

FireHawk shuddered. "Let's just say that Grif and I were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Oh come on, FireHawk!" Donut said. "You gotta get into the spirit of the wilderness!"

"I don't think you need to piss buck-naked," Grif grumbled. He shuddered at the image that just wouldn't leave his brain.

Sarge sighed. Just another Donut incident. "Everyone get back in the car."

Soon after they sped off again, FireHawk and Grif immediately resumed complaining about being hungry, having not found any food out there. Simmons, who had waken up from his nap, was now complaining about FireHawk and Grif's complaining, since they were giving him a headache he didn't want.

Sarge sighed in annoyance. It was going to be a loooong drive.

Hope you all enjoyed!

~TheAlmightyFireHawk