CHAPTER 1

"Damon!Damon I know you can hear me!" Elena's voice bounced off of the walls of the Salvatore house like a lightning bolt, raw and charged with power. Although only a few days old, she had enough fire in her bark to make these ancient brick walls explode and crumble into dust. Perhaps there was a bit of Katherine in her after all. Damon sighed and continued sipping his brandy. She would find him soon enough, why bother rushing into the tornado when it would whirlwind around him soon anyway.

"Damon!" She growled as she stepped into the room to find him leisurely draped over the sofa, looking at her with his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Elena." He rolled the e's of her name over his tongue, sounding slightly satisfied at the sound it made. He knew what he'd done was wrong, he just didn't care. She felt her blood start to boil.

"How could you do it? How could you let me drink from you and not tell me what it means?!" She wasn't sure if she really expected him to answer. His normal response to confrontations was to smile at her, give her the smouldering eyes and play the bad boy excuse card. She folded her arms around herself almost protectively from the power of his seductive gaze. Even when he said nothing, he had this ability to make her whole body vibrate in response. Something she found both distressing and appealing at the same time. Damon chuckled softly and sighed again, looking down at his glass.

"You spoke to Stefan about our little rendezvous then?"

"It isn't just drinking your blood is it? It means more." She felt herself start to shiver. Her nose began to sting, threatening tears. How was it that she could never stay mad at him? Why did she always become the weeping girl when she was trying to reprimand him?

"What did Stefan say?"

"He told me that it was the most… intimate thing" her words caught in her throat for a second as she swallowed down the feeling of embarrassment and betrayal down again, "that could be shared between two vampires." He smiled in response, still not looking at her.

"Did you enjoy it?" He looked up at her still with the smirk on his face, his perfect face, a mask of indifference.

"Stop it Damon. I'm being serious."

"So am I." He cut in, dropping the fake smile. Must they always play this game? Why couldn't he act like a normal person?

"Damon, you know how I feel. We've talked about this and you respected my decision. If I can't trust you.." Damon abruptly stood up and moved to her, staring down at her intensely.

"That's the problem Elena. I do know how you feel, even if you don't." Elena sighed exasperated and shook her head, trying to put some distance between them, but he grabbed her shoulders until she looked up into his eyes again.

"I made my choice Damon and I need to know that you can be my friend and help me. If you are just going to take advantage of me.."

"You came to me Elena!" He rolled the vowels of her name out again, this time with a hint of venom in his voice that stopped her short. "You asked me for help and I gave it to you."

"Don't you get it?" She felt a tear slip down from her traitorous eyes. She always seemed to be crying and she hated it. Still, the only benefit was that Damon could never stay mad and intense with her when she cried. His whole body reacted as though he were being tortured. "You made me think that it was okay to drink your blood. You didn't even consider how it would make me feel when Stefan found out." They both took a breath and stared at each other. Finally Damon released her from his hold on her shoulders and returned slowly to his chair. It seemed like an age passed before he spoke again.

"It's always about poor Stefan and his feelings - never mind mine. The torment I'm going through watching you struggle with all of this! Watching you starving yourself, hurting when there is no need for it when I can help you. You say I don't respect your wishes but I didn't force you. I could have dragged a human over and let him bleed out in front of you until you couldn't hold yourself back, but I didn't."

"Why can't you ever just admit you were wrong and apologise?!" She shouted now. The time for weeping was over. He turned to look at her sharply.

"I can't apologise for wanting to give you everything, everything I have to stop your pain. I won't ever apologise for that."

The flame of anger ignited inside her once more. This was a pointless conversation. She turned on her heel and strode angrily from the room, leaving him to watch.

CHAPTER 2

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Caroline asked in shock and disbelief. Elena twirled the phone cord around her fingers, very aware of Caroline's opinions of Damon. Strange that despite her anger towards him, she still felt like she had to defend him when Caroline went on one of her anti-Damon rants. She sighed into the receiver.

"I'm still not sure what to make of it all Car. I mean I told him I wouldn't hurt anyone, but I couldn't keep down animal blood either. I was so scared and hungry. Maybe he thought it was the only option."

"Elena that is ridiculous! He could have called Stefan."

"Stefan is so mad about it. I still don't fully get why. I mean, I kissed Damon before and he wasn't as angry as he is now."

"Well of course he wasn't! Elena, sharing blood is like making love. It is the most powerful bond experience that exists. God, Tyler and I thought our sex life was amazing until I drank from him and we realised what we were missing!"

"He feels like Damon and I have made love?!" Suddenly the pennies all started to drop in her mind. No wonder Stefan had been so grieved.

"Blood sharing isn't something you do with just anyone. It connects you so much deeper than in any physical way and Damon knew that. He wants that with you." Caroline actually started to sound slightly more forgiving of Damon in her last sentence.

"But, I didn't feel anything like that, I just felt hunger. Do you think Damon.." The thought that Damon could have been in rapture while she clung to him, feeding the pain in her stomach, frightened her. Renewed anger filled her and she found herself biting her lip so hard she drew blood.

"I think that Damon feels affected by you even when he brushes against you, never mind when you were drinking from him." Caroline sighed. "He shouldn't have done it." Elena lay back on her bed as silence filled their conversation. Neither of them knew what to say next.

"Elena, just answer me this one thing.." Caroline took her time speaking and Elena knew that could only mean she was worried about making her angry. "When you were drinking from him, did you.."

"Don't go there Caroline!" Elena warned but Caroline had to have her say.

"I know you love Stefan, but I know that you love Damon too. All I'm saying is that if you did feel something more when you were drinking from him, maybe it's not so terrible."

"What are you talking about Caroline?! He tricked me. It should have been with Stefan!"

"I know he did, but if you felt something maybe you should think about what that means. Elena you are a vampire now and we are going to live forever. Forever is a long time to have doubts about how you really feel. The same rules don't apply to us anymore, just think about it."

CHAPTER 3

Elena thought that sleep would make her feel better but she dreamt over and over about the taste of him. His skin, his blood, the feel of his muscular body pressed against hers. She hated that her own mind could turn against her. She awoke starving and annoyingly lustful. She wished she had convinced Stefan to stay with her last night, that way she could relieve herself with the man she actually wanted to share herself with. Her stomach growled violently and she began to worry about how she was going to feed today. She knew now that she couldn't handle anything but blood from the vein, but who's vein? She had to get out before Jeremy got up and started to smell too good. Matt had willingly offered yesterday but she knew it was because he felt so guilty about everything that had transpired. Could she really ask him again? Before she could ponder too long on that equation, she was interrupted by the unmistakeable sound of Stefan arriving at her window and knocking. She let him in, trying to gauge if he was still mad.

"Sorry I didn't call, I just wasn't sure what I was going to say." He brushed himself down nervously. She nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Considering Damon's mood I guess that you talked to him last night?"

She nodded, not wanting to say anything that might make him more upset with her just now. He continued "Look Elena, I know that everything is new and it's going to take time for you to understand how to be a vampire. All I want is to try and help you avoid all the terrible things I've had to go through, but I realise now that I can't protect you from everything. I know how close you and Damon have become and I know how deeply he feels for you." He paused, swallowing his distaste for what he was about to say. "I think that I need to give you some space to figure some things out for yourself"

"You're leaving?" She reached for him frightened, but he extended his hand and held hers lovingly.

"You fed from him."

"But I didn't know..!" Elena butted in frantically.

"I know." He soothed her. "But it doesn't change the fact that it happened and I don't know whether I am angry because he knew what he was doing or whether I am angry because I'm afraid that you enjoyed it. That you wanted him." Tears began to pour from her eyes and he pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair down her back. When she eventually pulled back to look into his eyes, there were tears there which were taking every bit of his control not to be unleashed.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I know you do, but you love him too. I think we both need to know how much, because I can't continue feeling this way, playing this game with him. I'm going to go away for a week and I want you to explore whatever it is that you feel for him. If you decide that you want to be with him right now, I will leave you in peace."

"But I love you more Stefan." She shed another round of tears.

"Maybe he is the one you need right now, maybe not. Forever is a long time. I will always be here. I think you need to decide this without any interference from me. If you call, I will always come to you." He emphasized the word 'always' and squeezed her hands affectionately. Then he left her to her thoughts.

CHAPTER 4

It took her all day to work up the courage to leave her room. She didn't know what to do. She did know that she wanted to seriously injure Damon for all the trouble he had caused her yet again. She had to admit though, that she was scared of what might happen if she went over there. Why was it that she could never trust herself with him? How did he always manage to make her crumble?

Stefan wanted her to be sure and if this was the only way to win Stefan back then she was going to do it. She was going to finally have it out with Damon once and for all. It wasn't fair to Stefan to have him constantly wondering about her devotion to him and she wanted to be able to commit to him fully, now that they were on equal footing and had the rest of their lives ahead of them. What was he expecting her to do though? Did he want her to kiss Damon? She had been too frightened to ask for details. She was just going to have to jump into the deep end and see. Had Stefan even talked to Damon about this?

She stood up, resolved to get this over with as quickly as possible so she could call Stefan and bring him back. He had refused to say where he was going, citing that he needed some personal space. She grabbed her keys and called to Jeremy on the way out. She knew he was in his room, she could hear his heart beat, but she was striving to act like her old self and still follow human routines. She shouted that she would be back later that evening but for some reason she lied and said she was going to Caroline's. Even as she spoke the words, she felt a knot in her stomach. Why had she felt the need to lie?

The drive to the Salvatore house seemed to take forever and she became conscious that she still hadn't fed today. It was a silly oversight and she would have to try one of the blood bags in the cellar and see if she could keep it down. Unsurprisingly the door was ajar when she arrived, as though he had known she was coming. Maybe Stefan had talked to him. She suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, fear, excitement, anger? She couldn't tell one emotion from another. She took a deep breath and entered the hallway. Damon was sat by the fire with his back to her reading an old book. He made no move as she entered and took a seat across from him in the arm chair. He didn't even look up when she said his name.

"Damon. Damon? We need to talk." She said leaning forward to place a hand on his knee. He flinched at her attempt at contact and moved to pour some brandy.

"So talk." He said simply, focussing on his brandy glass. He remained standing, his body language giving away much more about his feelings than he would ever dare admit or have pointed out to him.

"Why didn't you tell me what we were doing?" She sat forward. He drained his glass in one mouthful and began filling another.

"Because I knew you wouldn't understand why."

"What do you mean?"

"You really think that I can't be selfless don't you?" He looked straight at her. The mocking tone in his voice made her feel very small and suddenly very unprepared for this conversation. "That I couldn't possibly put your needs before mine. That I can't possibly love you as much as he does."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, because you don't want to see it. You don't want to see that I would give you every drop in my body if it would take away your suffering and it would only be for that reason. Not because I wanted you."

"But you do." She finally said it aloud to herself. He stayed motionless, watching her. She began to feel the temperature in the room rise very quickly. She could feel herself turning scarlet under the gaze of his long eyelashes and crystal coloured eyes. She could feel the want from him. Desire dilated his pupils. Neither spoke as the fire crackled next to them. The longer the silence wore on, the more she realised that she should really have fed today. Her body was quivering under Damon's gaze and she began to felt jittery under its power. She broke eye contact with him and rubbed her hands on her thighs. Desperate for some other physical sensation than the sudden lack of air in the room.

"You haven't fed today." He commented, still watching her from the brandy table.

"I didn't have time. I thought maybe I would try a blood bag again. Maybe if it was warm, I might be able to keep it down." He nodded and gestured in the direction of the cellar. She stood up, willing herself not to look at his face as she passed him when suddenly the floor moved beneath her, as if the floor had tilted all of a sudden and then she was in his arms. How did she end up in his arms so often? He looked down at her with concern, all of the lust and fierceness in him instantly a distant memory as her lifted her and lay her on the sofa.

"I will bring some up to you, you'll be ok." He dashed out of the room and reappeared with two blood bags. "Here's one I heated up earlier." He smiled and cradled her head towards the bag. She didn't need him to cradle her like this but she found that she didn't mind. This was the side to him that she wished would appear more often and she wasn't going to chase it away. She sucked at the blood gratefully, praying that it would reach her stomach, however no sooner than she had dared to hope, she felt the retching happen already and she vomited over herself and on Damon. He dabbed the blood from her face with his handkerchief, comforting her as she made small sobs of frustration.

"It's hopeless." She sighed as her stroked her hair from her face.

"It's not hopeless, it's normal. This is what is supposed to be. We aren't made to drink blood out of plastic containers. We are predators Elena. Stefan can deny that all he wants to, but it is who we are." He was being so gentle, looking at her so adoringly that she couldn't help but feel her body warm up and tingle at his touch. He was such an enigma. She gazed up at him, the light from the fire reflecting in his eyes, intensifying the shadows around his cheekbones. He almost looked angelic, like one of the Fey with his eyes so deep and full of wonder and skin so pale and soft. She had the urge to reach up and touch his face. God how she had always longed to touch that perfect marble-like face! She didn't know whether it was the light-headedness she was feeling or whether it was the permission she had been granted by Stefan, but she decided to try. To see if he would allow her to touch himlike that. She slowly raised her fingers, nervously watching for any indication from him that he did not consent and softly traced the line of his cheekbone. He didn't/couldn't blink or move. She would never understand why she had to power to render Damon so motionless, as though he was a mouse caught in the grip of a serpent. Had she really just thought of herself as the serpent? She would have to store that observation away and deal with what that meant later!

"Elena." He whispered, a hint of hesitation in his voice as he closed his eyes. She realised that if she was going to explore these feelings, this was a great opportunity and although she had been fighting with her feelings on the matter all day, at that moment all she could think about was the rush she was feeling. She pushed herself up with her free hand, not ceasing her ministrations on his face and paused briefly at his lips. He was so close his breath was on her face, ragged and shallow. His eyes remained closed and it excited her. He would trust her to do anyhting to him. She leaned in the last distance to his mouth and kissed him slowly, experimentally. Yes, she had kissed him before but it had been different. It had been a flurry of doubt and sudden desire that she hadn't put much consciouss thought into when they were in Denver and when he was dying that kiss was more of a goodbye. She wanted this kiss to be something that she could control and make the decision to conscioussly do without any doubt of her intentions. He seemed to realise this and gently kissed her back without taking lead. His lips were so soft and warm. She had never noticed the fullness of them before and she found that she liked it. She moved her hand around to the back of his head and curled her fingers in his long raven hair. He sighed and she found the sound so pleasing she stroked her fingers through his hair again gently. She noticed his breathing quicken and his body tense slightly. He was trying to hold himself back and let her lead. She felt a burst of pride in him that he should fight so hard with his dominant instincts in order to let her guide him. She decided to give him some input as she opened her mouth and let him place his tongue inside. The taste of him was instant and strong. He tasted like fire - hot, spicy and consuming. Was kissing supposed to be so intense? She felt so overwhelmed but the gentle strokking of his tongue against hers that she scarcely had control over her technique! He slipped his arm around her back and brought her closer to him, holding her carefully as though she would break.

Their kissing quickened and became more desperate. Everything about him was electric. Every brush of his hands over her body felt like a shock and she whimpered into his mouth. There was no room, no fire crackling in the fireplace, only the two of them touching, loving…and then Stefan.

She tried to blink away the image of Stefan popping into her mind as Damon panted her name against her neck in between kisses. She had pulled him right on top of her now and she could feel his heat and desire pressed flush against her.

Stefan..

"No.." she mumbled, unsure of whom she was talking to. Damon had began to kiss over the top of her breasts when he stopped.

"What?" he asked. Elena shook her head and pulled him up to kiss her mouth again. He seemed to melt into her at will. She ran her hands down his back, pulling his shirt out of his jeans. She had always wanted to touch his lean, muscular back ever since she had walked in on him naked years before. He moaned as she stroked the gooseflesh appearing along his side.

Stefan..

"Wait stop.." she mumbled, torn. He lifted his head and sighed sadly. She felt so frustrated. She couldn't help but feel like this was wrong. She loved Stefan, but Damon was doing things to her body that she never thought possible and they were only kissing! He seemed to read her mind.

"Tell me to stop." He said and leant down to kiss her deeply again, taking her breath away. She drew in a deep breath.

"Just tell me to stop." He whispered seductively and kissed her with the same passion again, pulling her groin closer to his, eliciting a whimper from her. Her head began to spin slightly and she felt like she needed to sit up for a moment.

She pushed his chest with one hand as she held onto him with the other, taking him with her as she sat up. Fire burned in his eyes as they looked at each other. She leaned into his neck, feeling his arm encompass her and stroke her back as she kissed his throat, wanting to taste his skin and feel the strength of his muscles there. As she continued to place soft kisses there, she began to grow hyper aware of the blood coursing through his neck and she began to hunger. His blood had been so wonderful, it had taken over her whole being. She had omitted this when talking to Caroline because she felt ashamed to admit it to herself and others. At this moment it was all she could think about.

She could feel the urge to bite begin to overwhelm her and he must have sensed it as he pulled her away. "Wait!" he said breathless and flushed from desire. She was confused. He had wanted this before. He had instigated it yesterday and yet when she leaned back in to taste him he shook his head again.

"Why not?" she asked dazed, feeling slightly inebriated by the smell of him.

"What about Stefan?" He asked, his expression pained and full of longing for her. She smiled at him seductively, then whispered in his ear.

"Tell me to stop."

CHAPTER 5

Any doubt over whether she wanted him ended as soon as his eyes turned black with need. He hadn't been expecting her to play this out, she thought. Truth was, neither had she, but the allure of his blood, the smell of his scent filling her nose and mouth was too much to deny. She had always been so hard on herself, so righteous and good. The old Elena would never have cheated on Stefan, but then, Stefan had given her permission to explore this…whatever this was and she fully intended not to leave this house until she had.

Damon still hadn't moved in response to her whispers telling him to stop her. She quite liked him like this, liked this game that she had seen him play with others. Now she understood why he enjoyed it so much. She giggled seductively and leaned into him again, this time pushing him onto his back in one quick movement. He gasped in surprise and that made her hotter inside. She resumed kissing his neck and collarbone, marvelling at how like a Greek statue his body was – so lithe and perfect. She heard a growling noise and realised that it was coming from her. His breath was coming in short gasps, almost as if he was frightened of what she was going to do. He groaned as she ran her tongue up his neck slowly, savouring every patch of his silky skin.

"Elena…please!" He begged suddenly, holding her to him tightly. That was all the invitation she needed. She bit into his neck slowly, wanting to savour him. He shuddered against her as she drew her first taste of him. She felt like she had been hit by a truck at the sensations pouring into her. Drinking from his hand had been nothing like this! She could feel him everywhere, as though he was inside of her. Now she understood what Caroline had meant about it being like making love. She felt full of him and her whole body throbbed in delight as she swallowed more of the delicious elixir that was his blood. He moaned underneath her, writhing slightly as she lifted his head slightly to get in deeper. He gasped in what sounded like pleasure and dropped his arms from her back. The sounds coming from him made her feel like she was reeling with pleasure. The fact that she could make him moan like this was wonderful and made her feel powerful and beautiful. She could do this forever. Caroline was right, this was so much better than sex, it was so much more intense. With every gasp or whimper from him, she could feel her loins burning with shocks of pleasure, as though he had his fingers inside of her, but she knew that he didn't. She wanted to taste more of him, every inch of his body now seemed like a golden fountain containing the liquid of eternal life and sensation. She drank with continuing fervour, grasping his body tightly as she rocked him into ecstacy.

After what seemed like a hundred years she realised that his breath wasn't coming as quickly as before and he was sweating. She released him and held him, looking down into his face. He was paler than usual and had his eyes closed.

"Damon?" She asked slightly alarmed. She had thought he was feeling the same peace and ecstacy as she was, but he seemed to be sedated. He smiled slowly, not opening his eyes.

"More." He whispered, sounding as though he were drugged. Elena frowned, touching his face and feeling alarmed when he didn't respond.

"Oh my god, Damon I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" She had taken too much from him. She knew this wouldn't kill him but it wasn't exactly the romantic moment she had envisioned or intended.

He smiled again. "Take it all.." he said as he tried to open his eyes. He looked so weak. Why had he let her do this? Why hadn't he stopped her? Remorse filled her and she shushed him. She moved to get off of him and he groaned in complaint, trying to put his arms around her again, but she was stronger and full of him so she easily slipped out of his arms and off of the couch. She picked up the blood bags that they had discarded when she had vomited and opened one for him. She placed it to his lips encouraging him to drink. He frowned and turned his head away.

"Damon you have to drink." She encouraged trying to place it in his mouth again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her away. He still had some strength left obviously, but she had more. She straddled him and he relaxed a little.

"Damon you need to feed. I've taken too much from you. Do you understand?" She wasn't sure if he was completely aware of what was going on. He seemed slightly incoherent. She sighed as he batted her hand away again. What use was she? She couldn't feed on animals without vomiting everywhere, she couldn't stomach human blood from a bag and apparently now she couldn't even be intimate with another vampire without half killing them. She was hopeless! She choked on a sob and he opened his eyes.

"Let me die this way." He said, suddenly lucid. She frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to die giving you everything."

"Damon, don't be stupid! You're not going to die, why would you want to die?"

"Because you will still go back to him…after this." He closed his eyes again and she sighed. Was he right? What had she done to him? In her own selfish way she had yet again tortured him. She had come here tonight to satisfy herself, never thinking about how it would affect Damon. He knew she would give herself to him only on this one occasion and then leave him to his agony afterwards. She hated herself. Damon wanted to die pleasuring her so that she could be satisfied and his misery would end.

"I'm sorry." She began to sob uncontrollably and even though he could barely open his eyes, he drew her to him again and she lay there with him sobbing until she fell asleep.

CHAPTER 6

She awoke through the sensation of someone stroking down her back gently. She sighed and smiled, breathing in Stefans' scent deeply until she realised it wasn't Stefan. Her eyes sprang open and the events of last night came flooding back into her memory like a tidal wave. She lifted her head from Damons' chest and glanced up at him. He must have been watching her sleeping as he gazed at her in wonder still with a small smile on his lips.

"Hi." She whispered.

"Hi there." He smiled in response. What the hell was she going to say now? She started to panic but managed to keep her face as blank as she could.

"Damon, I.." she started, but he shushed her placing his finger over her lips.

"You don't need to explain anything. It was my fault."

"What do you mean?" She frowned, slightly put out that he was going to make her an innocent party once again when she had been the most active and willing participant.

"I seduced you." His stereotypical smirk appeared and she suddenly wanted to slap it off his face. Was he kidding? She sat up, effectively straddling him again.

"What are you talking about, it was my choice to do what we did last night!" He chuckled slightly at the anger in her voice.

"Stefan will never believe that Elena and neither do I."

"What?"

"Oh come on, you wouldn't have even been here last night if it hadn't been for poor tortured Stefan and your guilty conscience." She gasped in anger at his audacity. "Still, at least I got something out of it." He smiled to himself and she saw red.

"And just what was that Damon?" She climbed off of him and backed away from the couch, fighting the urge to rip his throat out. Vampire tempers were legendary and she didn't want to lose control like that. He sat up and laughed.

"I made you want me Elena. I know that you do, but I had to make you want to take me." He seemed very satisfied with himself. She let out a growl of disgust and picked up a glass, shattering it against the wall behind him. He jumped up in surprise.

"Who do you think you are Damon? What do you think you are playing at? Are you trying to get me to hate you, because it's working!" She growled again and realised how much her fangs had grown in her mouth. How curious. I guess rage would bring them out as easily as lust and hunger. She would have to remember that.

"Good." He stated simply, staring her out in her rage. If she didn't leave now she was going to hurt him, so she left slamming the door so hard that it came off the hinges and clattered to the floor inside the hallway. She sped away in her car, terrified that if she didn't get very far away from there that she would turn back and kill him!

Damon stood staring after her for a few moments. He was weak and jumping up like that had drained him severely. He took a shakey step forward and bent down to retrieve last nights' blood bags. He had nearly given in to her. It would have been so easy just to let her drain him and not let her realise how much she had taken, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from blurting out how much he wanted it. He'd given the game away and now she would never let it happen again. He sighed as he tried to lower himself back onto the sofa. As he bit into the bag and began to drink, he closed his eyes and tried to record everything from last night and log it into his memory forever. The feel of her body on top of him, the taste of her lips and tongue and the blinding fever of pleasure as she drank from him, milking him until he lay in her embrace satiated. A single tear ran down his cheek as he drained the second bag. Now all he would have would be the memory of her and hopefully that would be enough.

CHAPTER 7

"Are you ok?" Caroline squeezed her hand across the table. The Grill was quiet today so she and Caroline could talk without worrying about who would listening in or 'dropping by' to prop up the bar. Elena shrugged her shoulders and gave an unconvincing laugh. She didn't know what to think or say.

"What exactly did he say last night?" She enquired, trying to keep Elena focussed by pushing a plate of food out to her. The food didn't look too appealing but Caroline assured her that it helped with blood cravings to eat human food, so she took a chip and popped it into her mouth. She could see Caroline starting to get jittery, waiting for her to answer the question. She was desperate to know what had happened between them.

"He said that he wanted me to drain him dry so that he could die and not have to deal with the fact that I would still chose Stefan." She said it all in one breath. Caroline breathed out a long slow breath and licked her lips. Elena didn't want to look at her expression, she knew how it sounded.

"O-kay." Caroline drawled the word out, unsure what to offer in response. Elena gave a small cruel laugh then and clasped her hands in front of her.

"And then this morning he said that he had planned it, to make me admit that I want him." Elena laughed again, expecting Caroline to make one of the sarcastic comments she was famous for. But she didn't. Caroline didn't react at all. Elena frowned in response to her lack of response.

"What?" Elena asked. Caroline shifted uncomfortably and avoided her eyes. "Caroline?" Elena probed.

"Elena, you have met Damon haven't you?"

"What?" Elena frowned. Caroline rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Look I'm not going to defend him – he's a psychotic ass! But..he loves you more than anything."

"Obviously that's not true Car." Elena contributed.

"And because he loves you.." Caroline continued as if Elena hadn't spoken, "He doesn't want you to feel guilty over this. He's letting you off the hook."

Elena replayed the events of last night and this morning in her head again, for the hundredth time, trying to identify whether what Caroline was suggesting was possible. Was it really bad that she desperately wanted to believe her? The thought that Damon could have been playing her all this time, cut her like the sharpest dagger. If he wasn't what he had always seemed to be she couldn't take that. It hurt too much to think that it had all been a lie because she did love him. She did. She…did…love him. She shot Caroline a frantic look as her heart twisted in her chest. Caroline smiled knowingly and nodded her permission for Elena to leave. She smiled in response and grabbed her sweater, absent mindedly knocking over a chair on her way out of the door.

She ran out of the Grill, ran to her car, ran up to the door of the Salvator house. Running, running in her mind too, trying to reach the goal. She wasn't even sure what the goal was, but she knew she just had to keep running! As she reached for the handle, she stopped in her tracks. What if he didn't want to see her? What if he would just try and scare her or make her angry at him again? She would have to take the chance. She held her breath as she turned the knob and walked into the hallway. The door creaked loudly, probably as she had ripped it off it's delicate, ancient hinges this morning. He was nowhere to be seen. She called out for him, but he never roused. She focussed in on her vampiric hearing and tried to listen for his breathing. She heard a very faint wheezing sound from upstairs so she shot up there with her new found speed and agility. He was in his room, laying face down on his bed sleeping. Strange that he hadn't heard her. His hearing was exemplary and yet here he lay unawares that she had trespassed right into his space. Drunk perhaps, she surmised, looking around at the empty bottle of brandy laying on the floor at the side of the bed.

"Oh Damon." She sighed, bending down to pick the bottle up, when she noticed his breathing. It wasn't right. He seemed to be struggling for breath. She stood up and went to him, turning him by the shoulder to look into his face. His eyes were half closed and he was deathly pale. What had happened? She didn't understand! Then she noticed some empty blood bags in his clenched hand. They were the same ones she'd tried to give him last night, but the blood would have been dead by this morning. He couldn't have drunk dead blood, Stefan said it was poisonous to do so. Why would he do that?! Fear choked her as she started to shake him,

"Damon, Damon can you hear me?!" He gave no response to her efforts to rouse him. She began shouting louder, frantically slapping him to get him to open his eyes. She didn't know what to do. She had taken so much blood from him last night and now he had drunk dead blood too. Stefan would know what to do. She pulled out her phone trying to type in his number when she realised she couldn't call him. If she called Stefan she would have to explain how this had happened and she wasn't quite sure what the hell had happened between them just yet.

"Caroline!" She murmured as she pressed speed dial for Caroline. Hoping Caroline was still at the Grill and could jump over in her car. The phone rang and rang what seemed like forever before Carolines' voice came through.

"Hi this is Caroline, please leave me a message after the beep. Oh, and have a great day!" It was her answer machine. Elena wailed in distress. She was on her own. She shook Damon some more and ran down to retrieve some fresh blood bags from the cellar. She placed his head on her lap as she tried to squeeze the new blood into his mouth. She sighed in relief as the fluid went inside his mouth, but then it started to pour down his chin onto his chest. She gasped in shock. He wasn't swallowing it, how could she make him swallow?

She tried to hold his mouth shut and hold his nose, but as soon as she let go, blood would trickle back out of his mouth again. She cried out in agony as tears started to roll down her face. She couldn't hold lose him, she couldn't! She held him to her breast and leaned down to kiss his mouth. His mouth was cold against hers. She leaned back to hold him to her again when he took in a breath. She leant down to look at his face again and saw his lips open. He was still with her! She leant down and placed a kiss on his lips again and this time his lips responded a little. Then she had an idea. She took a mouthful from the blood bag into her mouth and leant down to kiss him again. It wasn't easy not to swallow her mouthful but she had to at least try this. His lips opened to the kiss once more and when they did she gradually let the blood slip into his mouth. It seemed to work, he swallowed everything she gave him. She continued this process until she had slipped a whole blood bag into him and then she tore open another, then another and then..he opened his eyes.

"Elena?" He croaked. Unsure of his eyes. She nodded and kissed his forehead, still holding him in her lap.

"I'm here."

"What are you doing here?" He seemed to be in pain as he spoke, so she stroked his forehead and grabbed another blood bag from the side table. She tore it open and he took it from her shakily and placed it to his lips.

"I came here to tell you that I love you." She cooed as he drank, closing his eyes as he did so.

"Why?" He looked up at her once he had drained the bag, allowing her to continue to hold him.

"Because you are stupid and drive me crazy." He smiled slightly at that comment. "And because I understand now, that I want to be with you." He didn't say anything. He just remained there in her embrace searching her face almost as though he was trying to read her mind. As if he was trying to detect any deception. It pained her that he could think that she didn't love him. How could he think that after everything that had happened between them?

"That's what you always say at my death bed. Seems to be a pattern with you." He looked away from her, trying to raise himself up on his arms. She wasn't going to take his bate this time, so she held him tighter so he couldn't move away from her. He shot her a quizzical look and she simply took a deep breath.

"Not this time Damon. You're not going to make me get angry and hate you."

"Why would I do that?" He asked sarcastically. He was feeling better then, she thought comically.

"I'm trying to tell you that I'm going to stay with you tonight and tomorrow night and the next until one of us dies or bores of the other."

"What are you talking about Elena?" He frowned and tried to get up again but she pulled him back into her lap like a child who was fussing. She did enjoy the fact that right now she was stronger than he was. She leant down until she was only an inch from his face. He tried to move his head back a little and increase the distance from her. He was sweating again and his pupils had grown large again. He almost seemed fearful.

"I'm going to tell Stefan that I want to be with you. He will understand Damon. He wants me to be happy and I can't ever be happy if we don't try this out." She said as she leaned forward and kissed him softly. He murmured under her and she released him from the kiss.

"I can't." He panted, looking at her with eyes so full and wide that she thought she could see her reflection in them. "Please, don't do this!" he begged her "I'm not good for you. I can't be the man you want." She shook her head in amazement that he was still trying to fight her, even as she declared herself to him.

"I won't change my mind." She cooed. He regained his composure and swiftly sat up and moved from her reach. Placing himself in the corner of the room. It happened so quickly that she hadn't seen it coming. She groaned at the abscence of the warmth of his body on her. She stayed where she was and simply waited for him to say something. She watched as his face flickered with a hundred different emotions in a second. He was conflicted. She prepared herself for the onslaught that was bound to come from him. It was his way of protecting himself. Finally the expression of resolution appeared on his face and she took a breath, ready for him.

CHAPTER 8

He had given it his all. He had ranted, he had threatened. He had even thrown furniture around his room, smashing some of the antiques she knew that he so treasured, but she had relented. She knew he would run out steam eventually and she knew she could wait him out. After what felt like hours he flopped down on the bed beside her exhausted. She finally lay down on the bed beside him, feeling stiff from having sat in this position all during his frenzy. He huffed as she turned to face him. He lay staring at the ceiling ignoring her. Finally she spoke.

"I'm scared too." She whispered. He turned his head slowly to look at her. They stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other unsure of what was supposed to happen now. When he spoke, he cleared his throat a few times as though he couldn't trust his voice to work.

"I meant what I said last night. About dying." He turned to look at the ceiling again. She sighed inwardly. He was so exposed right now, offering his heart up to her knowing that she alone had the power to stamp it out forever, and yet he was still offering her the chance. She had to be 100% sure of what she did next, of how she treated him because this was it. If she failed him now, it would be the end for him and she knew that. Her heart filled with love and pride at his courage and trust. She wasn't going to let that be in vain. She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned over to kiss him. He let her but didn't encourage her. Last night he had let her have control but he still engaged in the kissing. This time he kissed her back but didn't touch her. She knew what she had to do. She pulled him by his shoulder until he rolled on top of her. He seemed unsure, so she stroked his face with her fingertips, tracing around his eyes, lips and cheeks until he sighed and closed his eyes. He had to consent to this too, so she wouldn't rush him. Once she could feel his body relaxing against hers, she guided his head down as she bore him her neck. At first he hesitated, simply pressing his face against the skin of her neck, feeling the warmth and scent of her aroma.

He took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through his hair, curling them like he enjoyed last night and then he bit down. She hadn't expected it to be so painful, it took her by surprise as she felt her intake of breath lift her ribcage to the ceiling. She didn't want him to stop though so she breathed it out slowly and no sooner had she done so than she began to feel the heat within her rising. He drank carefully, with so much grace that it felt like butterfly wings fluttering against her skin. She sighed and smiled at the images that created in her head. He began to caress her tenderly as she started to feel small bursts of pleasure rip through her stomach and groin. It felt like nothing else she had experienced before. She had no idea how different it felt being fed on from being the one feeding. It was a shame that Tyler could feed from Caroline. Her heart started to race, increasing her need for oxygen. She began to pant, almost as though she would climax, but surely she couldn't climax when he wasn't really touching her that much! A wave of ecstacy ran right through her and took her breath away. She felt herself cling to him as she cried out. She imagined this must be what heroin felt like, like a strong hit on your body that transports you away from your senses. Another quickly followed, leaving her trying to catch her breath. She felt drugged and unbelievably relaxed. Another wave started to build and she didn't think she could take another one so soon when he parted her legs beneath him and slid himself inside of her. The sensation of his flesh inside of her knocked her over the edge and she screamed his name as the wave hit her like a tsunami.

She came back to her body when she heard him call her name breathlessly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him happily.

"Are you ok?" He asked. She nodded smiling and he bent down and kissed her mouth. The contact with his lips was wonderful, so different from the feeling of him drinking from her but so smooth and tactile. Then he began to move, rocking them gently. She had forgotten that he was inside of her and so she gasped at the movement. She had always wondered what it would be like with Damon. He had had so many conquests, he was the Don Juan of the vampire world and she had only ever slept with Stefan. She had always worried that if they ever did sleep together she would be so clueless that he would tire of her, but right now all she could feel from him was love and utter devotion. They moved together united and whole, kissing each other until they had to stop to breathe and then she began to feel her insides contract again, except this time he could feel it too. He panted her name as he moved within her, placing his hands above her head for support as he slid deeper into her. She cried out as he did so, nearly climaxing right then. Then he leant his head down to her throat again and drew a large mouthful from her. It completely ended her wits and she bucked so high she thought she would fall from the bed..and then there was darkness.