Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Cruel Intentions and am making no profit from this bit of mash up fan fiction. It is technically not fan fiction because I am simply taking the script of Cruel Intentions and changing the characters….enjoy!

A/N: Many of the characters will be transferred to Hogwarts in the story.

"Draco….Draco, let's try and focus," Dr. Greengrass spoke in a stern, but comforting register to Draco Malfoy, her one o'clock patient. She checked her watch. It was coming up on two o'clock fast and she had yet to get Draco to open up.

Draco stared up at the ceiling, and then as though jolted back into reality, he stood up from the beige couch and walked toward the floor length window.

"What can I possibly say?" he asked. "I'm a fool."

"You're not a fool," Dr. Greengrass argued immediately.

"Yes I am; I can't feel sorry for myself because I'm a poor little rich boy."

Draco looked longingly and intensely out the window as if some outdoor source could bring him solace.

"It's not your fault," the doctor said, turning in her chair to once again face her patient. "Adolescence is a difficult time, and without great parenting things can go awry. But you have to rise above their mistakes." She reached over to her end table and picked up a copy of her latest book. "Here," she said as she handed Better Parenting to Draco.

He gasped.

"An autographed copy! Can I keep this?" he asked in a voice that sounded like a child on Christmas Eve begging to open just one present before bed.

"It's yours," Dr. Greengrass replied, as she reached for her Quick Quotes legal pad. In tiny, neat handwriting she scrawled 'Bill For Book $'. "You need to stop being so hard on yourself; what's in the past is over."

Draco nodded. "You're right. You know, it's hard to believe that there was a period in my life where all I could think about was sex."

Dr. Greengrass shook her head. "It's no way to go through life."

"I know," Draco muttered, looking down at his feet. "Take yourself for example: you're and attractive woman. You have killer legs. I would love to photograph them."

The doctor gave Draco a strange look.

"That was the old me," he said, shaking his head. "I'm cured now."

"I'm so proud of you," Dr. Greengrass replied, smiling to her patient.

Draco cleared his throat. "Same time next week?" he asked.

"Didn't I tell you? I'm going on my book tour. I'll be back in a month."

"Why?" Draco asked, appalled at the idea that he would have to go a month without a session.

Dr. Greengrass sighed. "Because other people need my help too. You're going to do just fine."

"I hope so."

"If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to send an owl to my service," she said, sitting down at her desk.

"I could use a hug," Draco said.

She got up from her seat and hugged him quickly. "Alrighty, there you go," she said, breaking the embrace when her phone began to ring. "Hello?" she said, pressing the speaker button.

"I've got your daughter on line one," her secretary said.

"Put her on hold," she said and pressed the button once more to disconnect.

"Is this her?" Draco asked, picking up a picture of a pretty blonde girl from Dr. Greengrass' desk.

"That's my Daphne," she replied, glowing with parental pride.

"She seems nice."

"She's great," the doctor beamed, "strait A student, an exceptionally rounded young woman. She's attending Oxford next fall."

"Wow," Draco exclaimed, "this is exactly the type of girl I should be with."

Dr. Greengrass snatched the picture out of his hands. "She's a bit out of your league, no offence."

Draco shook his head to show that he was not offended.

"Take good care of yourself, Draco," she said, guiding him to the door by the shoulder.

"Thank you for everything," he said, holding up the book in appreciation. He walked quickly out the door and out of sight.

"Schmuck," Dr. Greengrass said, returning to her desk.

The phone rang again. "Yes?" she said.

"Your daughter is still holding," the secretary said.

She picked up the phone. "Hi, honey."

"You kept me on hold!" Daphne cried.

"I'm sorry," she said in a soothing voice. "Is something wrong?"

"He told me he loved me and I believed him! I'm so stupid!"

"Now, darling, it's alright. Just calm down and take a deep breath. Step out of the circle."

"Would you cut your psychobabble bullshit, Mum? There are pictures of me on the WizNet!"

Dr. Greengrass frowned. "What kind of pictures?" Her tone was harsher than she intended.

"Nudie pictures! What do you think?"

"Merlin! How could you be so stupid?" She yelled, putting caution to the wind and embracing her anger.

"He was just so charming, and all he did was say how I had killer legs and how he'd like to photograph them and things got completely out of hand…Mum, are you there?…Mum? Mother!"

Dr. Greengrass was tearing out of her office at breakneck speed. She raced to the balcony that overlooked the incredibly busy lobby of the ministry of magic. Draco Malfoy was standing near a trash bin reading the Daily Profit.

"DRACO! DRAAAAACOOO! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS YOU LITTLE SHIT, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU SICKO PERVERT!" Dr. Greengrass pounded on the glass that encased the balcony.

Draco looked up and smiled vindictively at the woman he'd just stabbed in the back.

"What's her problem?" a girl with long blonde hair and big brown eyes asked him. They stared at the crazed doctor for a moment.

"Looks like someone needs therapy," Draco replied with a light laugh.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" the doctor shouted as security wizards took her into custody.

Draco turned back to the girl around whose waist his arm now resided. "What's your name?"

"Clarissa," she replied shyly.

Draco grinned. "Clarissa...Merlin, you're beautiful."

"Thank you," Clarissa said nervously.

"I'm going to take you out for lunch," Draco resolved,

"Alright!" Clarissa agreed happily.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this installment. Tune in for my next post and please review. Love to my loyal readers, and if you aren't one of them, become a loyal reader and I'll love you too!