Title: Need
Author: Yesha Thorn
Rating: T
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: References to sexual actions
Summary: It had been three days since they broke up. Three days. It was already driving him crazy.
Notes: Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own. Also, I'm awful at ending stories. Ugh.

Need (nd)

It had been three days since they broke up. Three days. It was already driving him crazy.

They had never been apart for so long. Being roommates did that to you. But even in holidays, they were always together. At his own house, making sure to avoid nosy brothers, kissing in the backyard, or outdoors, in a tent somewhere in a remote forest, with only each others arms to keep them safe from the wind raging outside.

It all went so well. They were the perfect couple, or so they were told. The popular baseball player who had a weakness for the quiet musician. The leather jacket and the trench coat. The baseball bat and the piano.

In fact, it was that piano that was the start of everything.

It had been early November, he remembered, the leaves were starting to pile up under the trees and on the pavement and he also remembered regretting not bringing gloves because the walk from the bus stop to school was a long and cold one. In his break he went straight for the music room, he needed to get his mind off things. His parents were fighting again. So he sat down at that piano and just started playing. He didn't even know what he was playing when he started, he just let his fingers flow over the keys and think up a tune. He played for a good 5 minutes, then his finger hit the final chord, and silence blossomed in the room. Until he heard a soft 'wow' behind him. His head snapped around and in the doorway stood the last person he had expected. From his varsity jacket to his perfectly styled quiff, he was everything Castiel Milton was not, so why was he here?

Dean Winchester coughed in his hand and cracked a smile. "Wow. That was really good." Castiel had smiled back slightly and ducked his head, embarrassed. "You're Castiel, right? Castiel Milton?" He nodded.

"And you are Dean Winchester." he stated. Dean nodded as well, his hands shoved in his pockets awkwardly. "I know your brother." he said. "He comes over for tutoring by my brother, does he not?" Castiel shook his dark hair out of his eyes.

"Yea, he does. Needs help with science. A right mess that kid is. But your bro, uh, Gabe? He teases Sam more than he teaches him, or so he says." Dean glowered at the ground.

"I am truly sorry about that. Gabriel can be very unnerving. But I am sure he means well." His fingers were mindlessly gliding over the keys of the piano, itching to play again but nervous now that Dean was here. An awkward silence fell over them.

"Well," Dean suddenly said. "I gotta go. Are you here often?" Castiel nodded, slightly confused. Dean smiled, and it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, so genuine and pure. "Then, is it okay if I come and listen another day? You play really good." He looked even more confused. Was Dean serious?

"That sounds acceptable." he stammered, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. Why was he even blushing?

When he looked back on that day, he knew why. It had only been ten minutes, but he was already hopelessly falling for the boy.

Dean had kept to his promise. At least three times a week he would stand in the doorway of the Music room, listening to Castiel play. After a few weeks he even picked up the nerve to sit beside him on the bench, watching his fingers move from key to key. Castiel had offered to teach him, but Dean had refused, saying he'd rather watch him play than do it himself.

Castiel never spoke about his growing feelings for the boy. Neither did Dean bring up his coming out only a couple of days after that first lunch. But they staid very good friends, Deans popularity reducing the amount of bullying Castiel went through daily.

They both graduated with good grades, and Castiel convinced Dean to go to university with him. With the allowance he got from his father and the money he earned with his side job at his uncle's garage, he could just pay the school money, and they roomed together.

Being around each other so much had its effects on both boys. Castiel couldn't get around his feelings no more. One day, he just snapped. And as he kissed Dean and he kissed back he realized that maybe the other boy had been feeling the same was all along.

For two years they were together. They met each other's families - which was quite a hassle with Castiel, seeing he had 5 siblings -, helped each other with their studies and, when they felt ready, had sex.

Then Castiel screwed up.

He had tried explaining it to Dean. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no idea alcohol would have such an effect on him - he never drank. So it wasn't really his fault that he had suddenly grabbed Sam by his collar and planted a wet, sloppy kiss to the younger boy's lips.

Dean didn't listen. He didn't want to hear. He didn't want to talk. It was tearing Castiel up from the inside. He wanted to fix things, make things right again, but how was he going to do that when Dean was refusing to talk to him?

He asked his siblings for advice, but none of them really helped. Raphael just put a hand on his shoulder and told him that if they were meant to be, things would be right eventually. Lucifer told him to bother someone else and stop calling him. Anael just hugged him tightly and cried over how sad she was he and Dean had broken up. Uriel shrugged and told him he had no clue. Gabriel just laughed at him. He would have asked his mother, but she was having another fight with his dad and spent most of the time in bed with a headache.

He just didn't know what to do. To make it worse, Dean was staying with friends in their room, leaving Castiel all alone in a bed that was suddenly too big for him, being used to sharing it with his boyfriend, the other bed abandoned on the far side of the room. He missed the warmth of the boy's strong arms around him, the soft breath on his cheek when he exhaled. The way his green eyes lit up when he was planning something, the way he called his car "Baby", the way he put his arms around Castiel from behind him while he was shaving or brushing his teeth. He missed him so much it hurt. And it hurt even more not being able to do anything about it.

But then, on the tenth day of their break-up, a note was shoved under the door. Very small, he almost stepped on it when he made to walk out of the room. Four words were written on it, in the scrawly handwriting he immediately recognized. "Music Hall, break time." His lips quirked up in a smile. Even in uni, the two had continued their piano meetings in the lunch. Castiels Music teacher had given him permission to use the room to practice.

So after his first two periods, Art, when the buzzer sounded, he made his way to the second floor. As he neared the room, he heard soft piano sounds. A bit out of tune, yes, and what it should be wasn't very clear, but they were there all the same. He stood in the doorway, just like Dean had done all those years ago, and listened. It wasn't perfect, no, far from that, but it did touch him, a lot, making a shudder run along his spine. He watched the back of his ex-boyfriend - the word made him flinch inwardly - as he played, fully focused on the keys of the piano. Only when he had hit the last note did he turn around, staring right into his soul with those green eyes.

"Dean..." he whispered, voice broken with guilt. He staid in the doorway, not daring to move closer. As he inspected the boy, he noticed just how much he had made the boy suffer. Purple bags under reddened eyes, hair a total mess. He swallowed, and continued. "Dean, please listen to me. I am so sorry." His voice was shaking like mad. "I know what I did was wrong. I should not have consumed so much alcohol. I shouldn't have kissed your brother." He tried to see any sign of emotion in those green orbs, but all he saw was ice. An icy cold stare that pinned him down where he stood. "I am just asking you to forgive me. I love you very much, and I wish I could turn back time so we could still be together. It hurts me so much for us to be apart Dean..."

A long silence stretched out between them. Neither of the two moved for a long time, just gazing at each other. Then Dean scoffed, turning his eyes away to the ground, hands in his pockets. "You're forgiven, Cas."

Those three words were all he needed. He smiled softly at Dean and nodded, stepping forward slowly to press a kiss to his cheek, then turned to walk away.

Dean would need time, he could see that. But he also knew, one day they would be whole again.