A/N: This takes places after Spoils of War but before Windfall. This was an idea I had after seeing the sneak peak for Windfall yesterday. This may have more chapters to it I haven't honestly decided where this is going yet possibly a collection of one shots. I would love to hear what you all think. Enjoy!

He held onto her like nothing else in the world matter. He held onto her because every dream he has had for the past five months has been of her in his arms. He held onto her because he needed it as much as she did right now.

He looked over to the sleeping form of his partner, his best friend, his reason for living. She had been restless for nights now, and she could only seem to sleep for a few hours at a time. He stayed by her side throughout the night, throughout the painful memories the nightmares brought to her in her dreams. She was beautiful when she slept, she looked so peaceful, but just underneath the surface she wasn't ok. There was something there waiting to break free.

She tried her hardest to put on a brave face for everyone, especially him and he knew it. He could see through her I'm fine and I'm good lines. She might as well of come out and said I was held prisoner for six days by the Taliban do you really think I am ok? Because that is what Deeks heard every time she faked an I'm good to him.

Every night since their return home he held her in his arms why she slept. The first time she fell asleep with him was on the plane ride home. He could tell her body ached and she was desperate for sleep. His heart broke as he thought of how long it must have been since she had slept or ate. She leaned her against the window as she looked out to the disappearing country that had been her home for the past five months. Not one second of it she would miss. Not one good memory this time here would bring. Her eyes started closing on their own will; she tried liked hell not to sleep. She didn't want to close her eyes because the fear of what she would find buried within her own mind would come into the light. But after two days of not sleeping she just couldn't fight it any longer. Her two toned eyes closed as she drifted away.

About ten minutes after she had closed her eyes, Deeks tried to wake her to check on her. They had been concerned that she may have a concussion from bruises and bumps that had formed just above her left eye.

"Hey Kens. Kens you got to wake up. They said you have to stay awake for a little while." Deeks said as he leaned over and spoke sweetly to her.

"I'm sleepy." Kensi mumbled as she tried to go back to sleep.

"I know princess, but right I need to keep an eye on you."

"Ok." Kensi sat up from her spot on the window and turned her body so it was facing Deeks. "Then watch me sleep." Kensi said as she laid her head on his shoulder.

It didn't take her but about two minutes to fall asleep once her head had hit his shoulder. Deeks took his jacket and laid it over her. "Sweet dreams my love." He whispered to her before he planted a tender kiss just beside her temple.

She slept the entire way back home in his arms, well actually on his shoulder. About an hour after she fell asleep Deeks had unknowingly fell asleep along with her. Every night after this she was in his arms.

Some nights they would fall asleep on his couch with Monty who eagerly wedge his way into between them. Sometimes they would sleep in his bed, sometimes hers. It didn't matter to him where they slept, as long as he could hold on to her he could make it through the night.

He spends most of the night just watching her sleep. He is always afraid she would fall into that hell inside her own mind, and he wouldn't be there to bring her out of it. He didn't want her to see the things she already lived, he didn't want her to hurt anymore, and all he wanted to do was hold on to her.

For the first three nights he told himself he was holding on to her so she could sleep soundly throughout the night. After the fourth night he realized he was holding her for him. He couldn't sleep anymore without her in his arms. He couldn't dream unless he woke up surrounded by her smell, her dark hair fanned out over his chest, and her sweet little whimpers she made when she was dreaming of better days. Now after knowing what it was like to have her in his arms, he couldn't have her anywhere else. Once Deeks knew what it was like to have her be part of his life this way, he knew he would never be able to live without her ever again. And he not intentions, of living without her that is.

He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't feel her body began to move against him as she started to wake up.

"What are you thinking about?" Kensi asked as she pulled the blanket tightly around her body.

Deeks looked to Kensi only to be greeted with the most glorious smile he has seen on her face since she has returned home.

"You of course." He said.

Kensi smiled shyly at him, "Really?"

"Every thought I have is always about you in way or another."

Kensi laid back down on his chest. Deeks wrapped his arms around her as he started tracing patterns over the backs of her bare shoulders.

"Today is the day uh?" Deeks asked.

"Yep." Kensi replied.

"Are you sure you ready to go back?" Deeks questioned.

Kensi sighed, "I am not sure of anything right now. But.."

"Don't say you're good when I know you're not. I feel your body tremble against me throughout the night when you start having a nightmare. I know you are not ok."

"I wasn't going to say that." Kensi said, she rolled her eyes even though Deeks couldn't see it.

"Then tell me princess what were you going to say?" Deeks questioned as he started treading is fingers through her hair.

"I was going to say I will be ok as long as you're with me." Kensi admitted.

"I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else. Now go and get ready so we can go to work." Deeks said as he kissed her forehead.

Kensi pulled herself out of his warm loving arms, she wrapped the sheet tightly around her body as she headed towards the door of his room. She paused at the door frame, and leaned her body back against it. Deeks watched her as she bit her bottom lip, that was his indication she wanted to say something but didn't know how.

"What is it Kensalina?" Deeks asked.

"Sam and the others I.."

"We don't have to say anything. We will wait until you're ready."

"You are not mad?" Kensi asked.

"You have been by my side every day for the past week; you're standing in my room wearing nothing but a sheet, what would I have to be mad about." Deeks said.

"You know we are going to have to play the one of us comes in late card right?" Kensi asked.

Deeks chuckled, "yeah because that worked so well last time, when Sam realized you were still wearing your clothes from the day before."

Kensi smiled as she grabbed a pillow off the foot of the bed and threw it at Deeks.

"If you keep that up darling we aren't going to have to pretend to be late, we really will be. Now go get in the shower and get ready before we both end up late."

Kensi smiled at Deeks as she turned her back towards him, she stopped one more time and said, "Thank you."

"For what?" Deeks asked.

"For never giving up on me." Kensi said as she left the bedroom.