Gail's POV

It's been exactly 4 years since your epic fail engagement party. A lot of things have changed. You are not a barista anymore. You are now a respected training officer. Your family and friends said that you are better now than before. You are more mature, motivated, and passionate. You are Gail 2.0, they say. You think so too but once a year you look back to the day that she left, the day of your engagement party. Every once a year, you think about 'What if's'. If only you've known it'll be the last day you will lay eyes on her, you would have savored it, never let her out of your sight, and never let her go. But you don't, so here you are, in your dark apartment, on your couch, holding a bottle of tequila, reminiscing that day. It feels so ironic. Yes, you have a better career now. A better life, but you know you would trade all of your tomorrows for that one single day. If living without her is the price for this better life, then you don't want any of this.

- START OF FLASHBACK-

"Gail, dear, where is Holly? Could you look for her? I want to introduce both of you to my boss, Superintendent McCrane." You rolled her eyes and went off to look for your fiancée.

You still can't believe that you will be married in two days. Time really does fly by so fast. Well, it does when you always hope for time to go slower when you're with Holly. You can't help the smile creeping up your face, reminiscing the day you first saw her. She has the typical nerd look, big eye-glasses, big backpack, tower of books at hand, and lots and lots of pen. If anyone told you that you will marry her someday, you would have laughed your ass off. You two have nothing in common. She is a stick-to-the-rules kind of girl and, obviously, very studious. As for you, you are laid back and love breaking the rules. You are considered a delinquent…a popular delinquent. It is not that you are vain or anything but you really are popular at school. Any guy would love to have a chance to eat with you during lunch breaks, or even just sit beside you during classes. You and her are very very different. Maybe that's what pulled you two together, opposite poles attract each other. Now here you are, two day away from getting married.

You are excited to marry her, to call her your wife, you are, but you can't help the feeling of anxiety creeping up inside you. In two days, you will be married with the promise that you will be together, forever. There is no turning back. A lot of 'what if's' running through your mind. 'What if 2 years in a relationship is still too early for marriage?' 'What if she will eventually realize that you are too much for her? That she can't handle your baggage' 'What if she finds someone better? Someone who loves sports, books, documentary movies, and a vegetarian.' Every time you think of all these what if's, your stomach turns, like you're going to be sick. You take a deep breath and try to relax.

You saw your mother signaling you to look for Holly, so you resume your search. You look around the reception area but found no sign of her. You spotted Chris and approached him. "Hey, Chris. Have you seen Holly?" "No, isn't she supposed to be with you?" He answered, in his not so sweet tone. You cringed at his response. It's not that he doesn't like Holly. He just has a huge crush on you since college so Holly will always be a competition for him. He is a totally sweet, chivalrous guy. He smiles through all your snark that is why he is one of your closest friends. Whenever you need someone to talk to, and Holly is not around, you go to him, but Holly is his greatest competition so…they are not really friends. "What do you think?" you retort back, having no time to deal with his bitter mood. "But hey, thanks anyway. I'll just check if she's in the balcony." You added sarcastically.

You went to the balcony. There are a couple people out there but no sign of Holly. The restroom? No. The garden? No. The pool? No. Coat room? No. You even check the kitchen but there is still no Holly. You wander around the reception area again to see if she came back without you noticing but still no success. You double check all the areas again but still haven't found Holly. You are starting to worry. It is very unlikely for Holly to be missing in action at this very event. She was very excited yesterday. She won't stop talking about it and she really worked hard on the preparation of this day. She is the one who collaborated with the planner. She even checked the venue yesterday to make sure that everything will be perfect.

You try to remember when did you last saw her. Oh, yeah, she was sitting your table. You two were drinking champagne. You excuse yourself and told her that you are going to the restroom and when you return she's not there anymore. Thinking that she just entertained some guest, you brush it off and went to talk to your friends.

Your tried calling her but her phone seems to be off. The feeling of worry increases in every minute. You pondered if you should tell both your families. It will surely cause panic and if it is just a false alarm it'll be a very embarrassing scene, but you need help looking for her. And so, you grab Steve by the arm and drag him to a more secluded area. "What the fuck, Gail! I'm talking to…" He stop his protest when he saw the look on your face and concern sudden showed on his. "What's wrong?" You look around to make sure that no one's listening or watching. You don't know how to explain the situation without panicking, so you just drop the bomb. "Holly is missing." Steve's brows furrowed. "What do you mean missing?" "She's missing, Steve! I looked everywhere for her. Everywhere! I check the balcony, garden, pool, even the kitchen. She's not here. I can't find her. I hate to think that something might have happened to her but I can't think of any other reason why she would be missing. I tried calling her but her phone was off. Steve, help me look for her. Please. If anything happens to her I don't what I'll do. I…" Steve cut off your panic rambling. "Gail! Relax, ok? We'll find her. I'll help you find her." You are trembling and sweating. The fear that you were trying to contain this whole time was coming out now. A lot of scenarios run through your mind. You may not be part of the police force but being part of a family of police officers made you aware of how ugly this world is. Aware of the possible things that could happen to Holly on this very peaceful event. "Did you tell anyone about this?" You shook your head, unable to utter another word. "Ok. I'll look for her. You need to relax, Gail. Panicking won't help. Why don't you go to your room first and try to pull yourself together. Like I said, I'll look for her. If there really is no sign of her anywhere I'll tell her parents. I'll try to handle any possible panic here. I'll try to handle everything here, ok? I won't let anything happen to her. I won't let anything ruin this day for the two of you." He kissed your forehead and stroked your arm to comfort you. You gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Go to your room now." You look back at the people in the area and found Holly's parents chatting with other guests. You feel a pain on your chest. You start to walk to your room and hold back the tears threatening to come out. Thinking what would you say to Holly's parents if anything bad happens to her, and it is putting you on the edge. The mere thought of the possible danger Holly could be in, is killing you inside.

You swipe your keycard and opened the door. As you enter the room, the first thing you notice is that the light was left turned on. You are sure that Holly turned it off before you two left the room. The cabinet doors and some drawers were also left open. You enter further into the room and heard a crack under your boots. You looked down and saw the broken glass. It looks like a broken champagne flute. Your heart is pounding inside your chest. Your mind is running a hundred miles per hour on the possible scenarios that could have happened in the room. "Holly?" You tried calling out. There was no response. You were trying to think of a reason of why Holly will be in your room when she should have been downstairs, enjoying the party. You approach the dresser and notice a note beside a bottle of champagne. You picked it up and read it. You feel that your world have been shred to pieces. The last string holding you together were now cut and you fall apart.

'Gail,

I love you and I really want to be with you, forever, but I can't force you to feel the same and do something you will regret in the end, so I'm letting you go. Goodbye Gail.

–Holly'

Tears heavily flowed down your cheeks. You read it again and again, not believing anything it says but the mere idea of it broke you down.

- END OF FLASHBACK-

You can still remember the pain. How you lost your essence in life. How dark your world has been when the only light that showed you the way was gone. How angry you were at her for being a coward and leaving with just a note. You deserve better than that. Were you not worthy of the trouble? Don't you deserve an explanation? Don't you have a say in the relationship? It seems that you don't. She just left you with the goddamn note. No reason as to why she left. No phone call. No heads up. No sign. Nothing. You're angry at her, so angry but still, after all these years, you know you still love her. You hate that you love her so much. You feel pathetic that you're here in this dark apartment celebrating the day Holly left. Celebrating the beginning of your dark era. The day you lost yourself.