A/N: The quote below really helped me bring this story together. I have been toiling over this one shot for MONTHS! Almost since the end of Season 3, one day this just hit me. Please tell me what you think. It's been hard writing it because this is Elena centric even though it's actually a Bamon story of sorts. This takes place after Elena transitions and she has time to really think about that 'declaration of love' that Damon gave her and then compelled her to forget. Okay, I'm seriously stressing now. I really hope you guys like it. Oh and sorry for being such a scrub and not updating sooner. My only poor lame excuse is that I'm lazy and a procrastinator. Read, Review, and Enjoy!

'We pass through the present with our eyes blindfolded. We are permitted merely to sense and guess at what we are actually experiencing. Only later when the cloth is untied can we glance at the past and find out what we have experienced and what meaning it has' – Milan Kundera, Laughable Loves

Revelations

It was like a blindfold had been torn from her eyes. All the things she thought were true were no longer and quite frankly, Elena didn't know how to act. She ran her hands through her chocolate brown hair and exhaled a breath that she didn't need but felt like she should let go of. All this time she had been under the assumption of one thing, but it seems that she had been wrong or in denial all along. She could accept neither, but knew it was one or both anyway.

Her trauma had started when she had woken up on the cold metal slab in the morgue. Elena had woken up confused it was as if all her memories had run through her mind and she wasn't quite sure where or who she was for a moment. Then she had looked into Stefan's beautiful, but worried, green eyes and she had felt safe. Both he and Damon told her what happened and what Dr. Fell's choice to give her vampire blood (without telling her) had done once she'd drowned. She had made the choice to transition by her way of thinking it was the only way to survive and she didn't want to die. So she had drunk the blood bag Stefan had given her and became a vampire. Everything Elena had known about herself changed in that moment. Every emotion she had seemed to be amplified a hundred fold and all of her senses seemed to be heightened to the point where she could literally hear all the heartbeats in the hospital and smell the blood that seemed to be EVERYWHERE in the building. In that moment she knew that she couldn't go home to Jeremy and asked the brothers for a room at the Boarding House until she could at least control the hunger.

Which is where she now sat on the window seat looking out at the night sky. Bonnie had not been picking up anyone's calls so she didn't have a day walking ring. Though, truth be told she wasn't sure if she even wanted one. She was a predator now and it didn't seem right for her to be walking around with regular people when she wanted to rip their throats out and drink everyone dry. Elena sighed again and stared at the sky. The isolation gave her time to think and reflect and that was something else she wasn't sure she wanted to do. It gave her time to think about the compulsions that Damon had done on her. She didn't fault him for the first one. They had not known each other and he had wanted his existence to be kept secret. The second one, however, was the one that burned her gut and made her feel things she didn't exactly want to acknowledge. For the millionth time that day she ran over the conversation in her head.

'I love you.'

Elena could still remember her heart dropping to her knees when she had heard the declaration come from Damon's mouth as she heard the sincerity in his voice. At the time she'd been fighting her attraction to him and had been in steadfast denial that there was anything more between them but friendship.

'And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you.'

Elena remembered being confused by the statement cause really that's not a sentence you want to follow up a declaration like that.

'I don't deserve you, but my brother does.'

Elena had actually been angered by that. She had wanted to deny what he had said, but words had simply left her. She remembered looking at him as he stepped up to her and kissed her forehead and then watched the tear fall from his eye as he compelled her to forget everything that had been said.

Elena balled her fists at her side as she realized what Damon had done that night. He had let her go. He had let go of his feelings for her and now she was left to wonder what was true and what wasn't about their relationship. 'When had truth become lie?' Elena wondered.

Thinking back Elena realized that it may have started on the night of the 60's dance. Damon had danced with her sure, but he had promptly left her at his earliest convenience to dance with Bonnie. She remembered later when she had asked Bonnie about the dance she and Damon had shared that Bonnie had blushed and looked down saying that was when they had formulated the plan to fake her death. At the time Elena had not questioned it but now she began to wonder since none of them had known that Klaus was in Ric's body yet. Elena remembered how relaxed and happy both had been as they had danced. She remembered the self -satisfied smirk on Damon's face as he had slammed Bonnie's body to him their hands never unlinking.

Elena sighed, that had been the one of the first signs she supposed that Damon was actively trying to let her go. She suppose the second one would have been at the Ball when they had argued and she had willfully and angrily told Damon that his love for her was the problem. She had almost expected carnage and blood to flow on the streets afterward. She had seen the hurt and anger in his eyes at her statement. Instead he had broken Kol's neck (to save Matt she had later learned) and slept with Rebecka. Which compared to the last time he was hurting emotionally had been pretty tame fare. She remembered venting to Bonnie and seeing the flash of surprise on her face before she had carefully put on her mask of indifference. She also remembered Bonnie saying later that it was better to have Damon doing that than killing innocent people. But Elena had pushed the almost angry tone that Bonnie had used out of her mind too busy focusing on her own pain and anger. Now she as she replayed those words, Elena began to wonder if that anger hadn't meant something else.

Elena sighed again running her hand through her hair. As she sat in the window seat looking out at the clear night sky she thought back to when they had been looking for Bonnie's mother. When Damon had walked through the door with the manila folder in his hand, Elena had mentally groaned to herself thinking that of course Damon would already have the information. She had steeled herself to take the folder when he had unexpectedly given the information to Bonnie. Elena had quickly recovered and had watched the silent exchange as Bonnie's eyes had widened (had she thought Damon would give the folder to her as well) and then as her eyes had shown gratitude. When Damon had insisted on going giving Elena googly eyes and pouting that beautiful mouth of his, Elena had firmly told him no and at Bonnie's question on what was up with them Elena had been more than surprised that Damon had actually told Bonnie the truth. She had been shocked and mortified only her reaction wasn't the one that Damon was watching… it had been Bonnie's reaction that he had wanted to see. At the time Elena had figured he was trying to get on Bonnie's nerves, but now she wondered what the exchange between the two had really been about.

Elena watched slightly amused at the rabbit that was making its way to the bushes across the small expanse. She thought with a predatory smile that that bunny probably wouldn't be doing that if it knew the danger it was in with at least two of the residents here. Elena was stubbornly trying not to see what had almost always been right in front of her. There was something going on between Damon and her friend. Elena was mad that she hadn't seen it before, too caught in have both Salvatore brothers fighting over her affections. But, in the back of her mind she had always known. Damon's eyes practically lit up at the mere mention that Bonnie would be coming over. Damon's peculation for always trying to involve Bonnie, whether they needed a witch for their plan or not. Elena herself had to admit that she might have been feeling threatened as she remembered her plan to drug Stefan and lock him up at the beginning of the school year and Damon's almost response of bringing Bonnie in on the plan. She had said that she didn't want to bring Bonnie into their drama, but really she had been irked that Damon had even asked about her. Elena remembered wanting to prove that her plan would work, without magic. But, of course like every plan she had it hadn't worked and had been an EPIC failure. She'd even lost her car in that one since it had been engulfed in flames.

Elena felt foolish for all her dribble about not wanting to lose either brother and not being able to make a choice. She had always known her choice would be Stefan even if she was wildly attracted to Damon. Her heart belonged to Stefan but she hadn't wanted to hurt Damon's feelings. Now, she realized that Damon may have been doing the same with her. He may have been trying to spare her feelings by pretending to still love her and obsess over her. Even though truthfully, he hadn't been doing either since his brother left.

Elena squared her shoulders and let out another unnecessary breath. If Damon could let her go secretly then she would have the strength to let him go publically. Maybe she could finally get things back on track again and get back to her wonderfully abnormal normal life.