Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
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Desperately trying to simulate what once resembled happiness is not the same as fixing themselves. When pretending is the only option, shattering illusions is not.
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When he saw her for the first time in four years it was late morning - early enough to justify sleeping a little more, but too late to eat breakfast. Naruto was dragging him back to Konoha, or he was dragging Naruto, it wasn't clearly estimated. His brother was dead. And Sasuke could have never predicted the wave of complete and utter solitude that washed over him. The details like how and when and which blow had done it were knitted together until the whole ordeal turned into a tangled ball of spiked wire. He couldn't distinguish if he had been lying next to his brother's corpse first or if the fireball coming out of his lungs had followed.

Fragments of the battle flew around in his head for five months, bouncing off the walls of his mind, colliding and separating until Sasuke was doubtful if he had even killed Itachi. On the sixth month, an AMBU team was sent on his trail and for the first time in a while, figures emerged from the blurry surroundings, their voices actually becoming clear. He wasn't alone. There was a world outside of these unorganized bits of memory. The feeling of absolute terror Sasuke felt due to that simple fact gathered at the soles of his feet as he sprinted away from the squad.

Two months later Naruto found him, but Sasuke had been secretly praying he would, and beat the shit out of him and he, in return, beat the shit out of Naruto. The blond idiot's punches were fueled by his hurt that his best friend had just left, that he abandoned him without a second thought and had cast aside all his efforts to help, and Sasuke fought with his frustration, his fear of the emptiness he felt the moment the light inside Itachi's eyes had gone out. Naruto had been right, revenge solved nothing.

At the end both of them couldn't stand. Blood poured out of their bodies, mingling with sweat, tears and apologies. The two Konoha children stumbled to their home, bickering over nothing in particular, laughing while trying to stop the bleeding from their more serious wounds. Their trek to the Village Hidden in the Leaves took three agonizing days, which involved crawling, swearing, fighting over who won their fight and trying to ignore the anxiety connected with the Uchiha's return.

Sakura was standing on a tree branch. Dressed in dark pants and loose shirt, she observed the two figures stumbling pitifully, pushing and dragging each other while dried blood made their faces look as if cracking when smiling. How… fitting.

Naruto looked up and spotted her, his grin settling immediately on his face. She tilted her head slightly, mild curiosity showing through her expression. Sasuke could feel something in his stomach that crawled up his throat. He certainly wasn't expecting this. The cold reticent demeanor with which Sakura held herself was something he didn't expect, nor welcome. Naruto shifted nervously by his side, his eyes on the pink-haired girl standing few meters away. He seemed surprised, but mainly uncomfortable.

The moment Sakura's name left Naruto's lips, a squad of black ops raided the two figures, separating them. The blond could only scream and struggle as an AMBU held him back as the others pushed Sasuke to the ground, holding his head down, twisting, maybe even breaking his arms. All the while the raven haired boy could not tear away his gaze from the pale face looking at him from above. He could taste dirt as she raised an eyebrow at him. A moment later her image flickered and disappeared.
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The next time Naruto saw Sakura it was almost nightfall. She was in the hospital, in a room filled with blocks of white cabinets, above them shelves with white scrolls arranged in perfect order. The girl was sitting behind a desk, three large books opened before her, a scroll shamelessly absorbing all her attention as she scribbled onto it. Dressed in a white uniform, she looked almost undistinguishable from the office.

"What is it, Naruto?" Sakura didn't even look up, but rather traced a sentence in one of the books, her mouth opening ever so slightly, as if to mutter some sort of acknowledgement only because it was the polite thing to do.

Three weeks had passed. The semi-peaceful life of the council members was thrown upside down by the prodigal heir. What was now know as the Uchiha conflict, tore up the administration into two teams, the Hokage put in the middle. Should Sasuke's eyes be studied, semen extracted and then, swiftly executed or should he be kept alive. If he is spared, should he be imprisoned, for how long, if not, should he be on parole, for how long, who is to supervise him if he is to be pardoned?

These kinds of questions were the root of endless debates, causing Tsunade's nerves to twitch more often than not. Most of the members were inclined to let Sasuke live and confine him in quarters, heavily guarded of course. There were some that insisted on imprisonment. A meeting where it was to be finally decided how Sasuke will live was to be held the fourth week of the month. Naruto had come to beg Sakura to advocate for him.

If she spoke up for him, the Uchiha's chances would improve significantly. Sakura had established herself as a reliable shinobi, who was entrusted with some of the village most precious secrets. She saved lives on a daily basis. Half the village had her chakra in their cells.

"I'm not going to do it, Naruto." The blond boy held his breath as he met her eyes, which were once filled with raging emotion, now – unwavering resolve. "Please don't blame him, Sakura-chan."
"I don't" she leaned in her chair, "I blame you."
"I brought him back!" he slammed his hands on the desk, desperation nearly filling his voice. "I want us to be a team again! What's wrong with you!?" Sakura's eyes darkened as she slowly stood up and leaned on her hands, unconsciously mirroring Naruto's hostile pose.
"Sasuke was gone four years, Naruto. You were gone three. Kakashi spent his time mostly on prolonged missions, and when he was in the village, he was busy avoiding me." She knew her former mentor's guilt was the primary reason behind most of his actions. When they did cross paths, she knew she only served as a reminder of what a failure he had proved to be again. He could only see her as a lingering shadow from the past, a past which haunted him and clung to his very soul, stripping him of tomorrows.

Naruto flinched, as if her words had a physical impact. "We have never been a team." Her words came out as a hiss, not quite like she had intended. "Even when we were genin every single one of us was guided by selfishness. I wanted Sasuke, Kakashi wanted to magically repair his past through us and you wanted a family. The only difference between us and Sasuke is that he didn't pretend to be righteous." Sakura's gaze didn't leave the devastated blue of her former comrade.

"I just wanted for us to start again, Sakura-chan…" The blond boy's hands hung loosely by his side. Sakura's eyes narrowed, her voice dripping with loathing as she spoke "We were supposed to bring him back together." Her hands curled in fists. She was pressing them so hard on the desk that they were turning white by the pressure. "Those who leave their teammates behind are worse than scum." The unspoken words were apparent. Where were you? Where was Kakashi? Why weren't you there for me?

Naruto was shaking as he closed the office door.
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It was almost morning when Sakura saw Tsunade for the first time the following day. The hours were rolling off the clock, indicating another day was about to begin soon.

The girl sighted as she collected the empty bottles from the floor and wiped sake from her mentor's desk. Tsunade's gaze, clouded with alcohol, was starring somewhere only her eyes could see. When Sakura tidied up, the pink kunoichi sat across the blond woman, leaning her head on the palm of her hand. A lazy smile hung on her thin rosy lips as she watched Tsunade's futile attempt to rid herself of the troubles the day had brought.

This wasn't the first time they were in such situation, but now, an atmosphere of mystique filled the office. "I should have saved 'em, ya' know." Sakura lowered her gaze. It was not uncommon for her mentor to torture herself with what if's. The girl wondered if she would be doing the same in a couple of decades. Knowing that if she didn't respond, the Hokage would burst with some emotion, be it anger or despair, she murmured routinely "Who?" After all, better in than out. The woman would feel better about it in the morning if she got it off her chest tonight, even if she didn't remember it.

"Orochimaru." Her gaze still fixated in moments passed, Tsunade's month twisted in agony. "I was scared of 'em. I just wanted Jiraiya to take care of the whole ordeal." She waved her hand dismissingly as if reenacting the moment she had decided to give up on her former teammate. Sakura didn't answer. This was new. Her mentor usually told her about how much she regretted losing her future with Dan, how much sorrow filled her as she thought about her brother's wasted life. She admitted that she had considered dating Jiraiya and cursed Orochimaru.

When met by silence, Tsunade flickered her hazel gaze at her student, who was watching her, her posture unmoved, but her body tensed. A second had passed when a bottle crashed into the wall behind Sakura. The girl was now standing a few feet away, her mouth set into a tin line.
"DO SOMETHING, YOU BRAT!" Surprise echoed onto Sakura's features, her eyes widening when hearing Tsunade scream. The woman stood up, stumbling. She leaned her back against the wall behind her chair, so as to stop the room from spinning.

"Aye! I didn't waste four years on you so you could turn into an emotionless drone!" Sakura took a step back, her hands clutching the sides of her trousers."Why would you leave your teammates to suffer, huh? What are you scared of, Sakura? That they'd see how life has drained from you? That they were right!?"

Her mentor really knew how to strike a chord. Sakura knew Tsunade was projecting her own fate onto her: this was not Sakura's responsibility, it had been Tsunade's. She didn't abandon any of them, like her mentor had done to her teammates, they had left her. She would have been completely happy to be there to support Naruto, to try and mend what was left of Kakashi. They had chosen to leave. Still, a bitter taste appeared in Sakura's mouth whenever she thought about the broken people of who had consisted team 7.
It was not her responsibility to keep them together now. Then why did all her reasoning sound like excuses?

Tsunade stumbled forward and fell. Cursing, she tried to get up, but ended up falling again. With a tight throat Sakura walked to her side and helped her onto the chair. "Stop being such a brat. Do something, even if it is to punish them." Sakura lowered her lashes. She took out a blanked, hidden under the cabinet, and threw it on her mentor.

Tsunade was still mumbling when Sakura turned off the lamp.
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When Sakura exited the operating room it was in the smallest hours of the morning. The procedure was an emergency, extremely complex and like every other life – or – death situation – draining. The patient was an AMBU member returned from a mission gone badly. The medic didn't bother herself with details not concerning his medical condition.

Half of his intestines located in his lower abdomen had been severely damaged; burns on the external layer of the skin, his charka paths were expanded from overuse thus clogging the blood vessels. Due to the last diagnosis the operation was labeled rank "A" with a chance for the patient to survive fewer than 12%. Even if the medics could heal the injuries done to the stomach, which with so much excessive damage was never done at once due to the body's inability to keep up with the "repairs", the body would slowly wither either because the blood circulation was not proper or the chakra would radiate in waves throughout the system, reaching corners where it is not supposed to be.

In such cases Tsunade decided on the course of action, but the Hokage was piled with paper work and meetings and had told Sakura to handle it. It was logical to make the man's passing as comfortable as possible. There was no use in wasting the work of a medical team on such a case. When the chances of surviving were below 40%, it was textbook standard to let it go.

Sakura had stared at the case file for an hour. She didn't know this man. She didn't care to learn about what injustice had happened to the poor fellow to lend him in such a state. She knew however that it would take six hours to fix the abdomen wound and it would take two extra people to help the body regenerate. It would also take from three to five hours to try and shrink the chakra paths to their normal size and two hours more to check if the blood vessels were operating normally.

Sakura knew that if the patient died it would have been a waste of everyone's time and energy. If the man lived, he would never be able to use chakra again. There was no winning in this situation. The kind thing to do was to stand by and let faith handle it.

But, after an eleven hour surgery, the man was in a stable condition and as Sakura ate an energy bar trying to keep herself awake she decided that if she could put that poor soul in the awful position to face life as a handicap, she could do the same to her crippled team.
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A/N
I've wanted to write something connected to team 7 for a while now.
A little dark, but whateva.
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There are probably going to be drabbles connected to this popping here and there. I don't want to develop a full story until "Vice Versa" is finished, but I like how this one turned out.
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