This is not a fun, fluffy piece.
Companion to Calm.
I've hum and hawed over whether to write another part to this but everyone seemed pretty keen so here we are. This has been really difficult to write, and i don't know if I've done it justice.
Thank you so much to everyone who left a review for Calm, i appreciate it very much.
Time stopped. Her heart stopped. Thoughts frozen. A supreme tightness around her throat stopped breaths. Her muscles tensed, painfully, stopping movement.
Emma.
All around her, people moved, talked, gestured, cried, hugged, shouted, whispered. The heavy arm around her only served to highlight her utter disconnection from this.
Emma...
Rage, hurt, remorse, shock, anger, grief.
Despondency.
Why hadn't she come to talk to her? They had become friends hadn't they? After everything they had been through together, fighting, working together? Regina thought they had become friends.
She thought they may have meant more to each other at one point but then Robin had swept her up and she had become so entangled in the warm embrace of a ready built family who had welcomed her with open arms. She had still watched the blonde though, appreciated her, thought of her often. It had hurt that Emma had started to withdraw from her company but the other woman had clammed up any time Regina had asked her what was going on.
And Emma, the most courageous, brave person she knew had been in such pain over something that she had resorted to trying to drown herself. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she heard David describe hauling her waterlogged form from the frigid water, heard Dr Whale talk about the battle to resuscitate her, how things were a bit dicey right now, heard people whisper how she just would not wake up.
Her eyes, locked on the pale frozen form laying so small on a hospital bed, screamed a million questions and accusations as she tried to process. She shrugged off Robins arm, the cloying weight of it making her sink.
She just wanted everyone to be quiet.
Get out get out get out, "GET OUT," Regina heard her voice crack as it raised in volume and ferocity. Shocked pairs of eyes stared at her as they dutifully followed her command. "Out, all of you!" She gestured at Robin and Charming, Snow, Henry – before violently pointing at the door. "Leave," she shouted, whirling back to the prone form on the bed, finally alone. Her lungs came back to life, filling her chest. Heart pounding as a flush of anger made her tremble. Breaths forcing their way past gritted teeth.
"WHY?" She demanded of the unconscious blonde, stalking up to the bed. She slapped the pillow beside lank blonde tresses in frustration. "How could you be so stupid? You are supposed to be the strong one!" All the fight left her as she really took in the other woman, looking so forlorn, lost, pale and faded. All sorts of IV's and wires were attached to the woman's slight frame, dwarfing her. Regina's shoulders slumped and tears viciously pricked at her eyes. She swiped at them with a hand, before balling it into a fist to stem the flow of sobs coming from her mouth. She keened quietly, grief rushing through her at the despair the blonde must have felt to have been driven to this. She felt responsible. She felt a vast abyss of emptiness threatening to swallow her.
On impulse, Regina stroked back a strand of hair from Emma's peaceful face and pressed her lips to her forehead. This woman meant so much to everyone. She rested her head on Emma's chest as though the sound of her heart could reassure her - could feel the slight thump of the organ – it was chillingly faint.
"Henry... will be inconsolable if you don't wake up. I will - " Regina broke off, tears forcing her throat to close up. She took a deep breath, "I will be so lost, Emma, you and Henry have been my anchors for so long." She stroked the back of a pale hand.
A faint twitch of cold fingers. Her breath caught in her throat.
Regina's eyes widened at the sudden shriek of an alarm, she scrambled off of the bed and backed away, eyes frozen on the flat line of Emma's monitor. Medical staff swarmed in, Whale shouting things that Regina didn't understand, starting compressions. Fear clenched her heart. She didn't understand. Emma was the strong one.
Smell, sound, everything switched off whilst brown eyes watched frantic figures crowd around the bed, people shouting and following orders. She felt strong hands grab her arms and try to pull her backwards but she tugged free, unwilling to take her eyes off what was going on. People rushed past her, still as though an eddy in a river. The crash cart was brought in, desperation written across everyone's features. This was it. Another person she cared for leaving her.
A small hand slipped into her own, gripping as though life depended on it. Henry. Their eyes met, understanding passing between mother and son, still amongst the staff rushing about.
Emma was leaving them.