Title: Blind Date
Author: Mac
Fandom: Law & Order SVU / 30 Rock
Pairing: Alex/Olivia ; Gretchen/Olivia
Disclaimation: I have nothing.
Rating: K
Spoilers: 30 Rock 103
Summary: Olivia is Liz Lemon's friend. And Liz Lemon blind dated Gretchen Thomas who we all know looks exactly like Alex Cabot.
Author's Notes: This is my very first fan fiction. So, be nice. I know I suck at description, just…use your imagination And, my first language is not English, so I may have made some spelling or grammar mistakes. Tell me if you find any, thanks.
Liz sit at the bar wondering who's this Thomas guy, to her surprise, a tall blonde woman approached.
"Hi Liz, I'm Gretchen Thomas, Jack's friend." The blonde woman leaned on the counter and smiled.
"Oh hi." Liz shook her hand in a big shock.
"Why would Jack just assumed that we are lesbians?" After they've sit on their table, Liz almost shouted.
"I am a lesbian" Gretchen said calmly.
"Oh, that's awesome."
"Is this the first time somebody's make that assumption about you?"
"Well…I kind of had a girl friend back in college, but never worked out anyway."
"So…you mean you're like a 'hasbian'?"
"'Hasbian'? Interesting…. It was just…you know…she was so cool and all the girls were crazy about her and she was so nice to me and I don't have a boyfriend…."
"So you thought you could go gay for her? "
"Yeah…well….after I failed to even kiss her…I was sure I'm no gay at all coz you know she's that kind of lesbians no body could resist…..well….I don't know why I've already told you so much in the first 2 minutes in our date." Liz muttered nervously.
"Well…this is obviously a miscommunication coz I'm certainly not interested in chasing straight girls. So I completely understand if you just want to go home."
"No, I'll stay….I kind of miss that lesbian world…never met any real lesbian since college, except that time when Jenna pretended to be a lesbian to get a teeny tiny role in some commercial"
"So, what about the men you've met?"
"Men are pigs…I don't say this just because you don't like man….I mean…all those old times, a lesbian girl friend would spend time with you just sitting or just being together. But men only want sex. God…sometimes I wish I was a lesbian."
"Actually…we have our own problems….like, sometimes you see someone and think she is the one you wanna be with. And then you have to find out if she plays for your team or not. It's kind of complicated."
"How come you are single…I mean, you are way too hot to be single. If I was gay, I owe Jack big for setting this date."
"Well thanks, I'm flattered…are you sure you're not gay? " Gretchen raises an eyebrow and then smiled.
The next day, Liz went to see Jack pretty pissed. She stands at the door and stares at Jack who is lying on the couch.
"How was your date with Thomas?"
"You mean Gretchen Thomas? The brilliant plastic engineer slash lesbian? What makes you think I was gay?"
"Your shoes."
"Well I'm straight, regardless 100 completely straight."
"Your shoes are definitely bicurious."
"Well I'm straight."
"OK, I will change for your profile. Too bad for you to loss this chance, Gretchen's such a nice person and gorgeous lesbian."
"Yeah…well…I'm sorry I'm not gay."
"Hope you won't regret coz like I said, the biggest problem for a single woman is not to choke to death in her own apartment."
"God…you are horrible." Liz stormed out of Jack's office.
It's another lonely night. Liz is eating dinner while wathcing "Deal or No Deal". And she choked. After she pushed herself on a seat and saved herself, she took her phone and dialed a number.
"Hey V…long time no see. How's everything?"
"Fine…" It's another woman she's talking to.
"You know…we haven't met for like 4 years. I'm wondering…have you ever thought about choke to death in your own apartment? "
"If only I have time…but mostly I will choke in my office and Elliot would love to save my life."
"Elliot? This name is so familiar…OMG…are you dating men now?" Liz shouts out of surprise.
"No! God…Ew…El is my partner…what the hell are you thinking Liz Lemon? You've met him and his wife."
"Oh…that guy…I remember…tough one ha? Is he still with his wife?"
"Yeah…are you calling me for this? I can't believe you are this desperate."
"No…I just…do you wanna have some dinner together? You may be the only ex I can still count as my friend after the breakup."
"That's….sweet. So, what time do you prefer?"
"I don't know…I have to work on Saturday night and every other night is fine. What about you? Are you still in that…what's the name? The sex squad?"
"The Special Victim Unit for sex crime."
"Yeah…I know, the sex crime unit. So, any free time?"
"Up to you…I'm dying for some social life."
"Hey, what about me bringing you to the after party of our show?"
"Wow…cool."
"So that's a yes, right? Oh..and…are you still single?"
"Yeah, does it matter? Miss I-can't-kiss-someone-who-has-the-same-body-like-my-own?"
"God…you still remember that."
"Hey…you are the only one who rejected me in college. How can I forget that?"
"I did that for your own good. You were way too cocky."
"So…see you on Saturday?"
"OK."
Two days later. The after party of TGS.
"Hey V….so nice to see you. You look……….different."
"And you look…just the same."
"Thank you. So, how's everything?" Lemon ignored Olivia's smirk look on her face
"Same old thing, you know….rapist, pedophile, freaks all day…"
"I mean your personal life……"
"If only I have one"
"I remember last time we met you seemed happy and I heard something about some ADA?"
"Yeah…well…better not mention that thing. Hey…who's that? "Olivia pointed at Jack who was just walking in.
"Oh, Jack Donaghy…my boss. Arrogant and….annoy." Lemon said in a disgusted tone.
"No…I mean who's the blonde beside him?" Olivia seems didn't notice Lemon's react at all, she was just staring at the blonde beside Jack.
"Oh…that's Gretchen…Jack's friend. You know, Jack thought I was lesbian so he set a blind date for me and Gretchen. Why he takes her to the party anyway?"
"She looks…gorgeous." Olivia said fuzzly and then became a little unhappy, "And……she blind dated you?"
"Yeah…well….but I'm not lesbian…hey…you are gay." Lemon said like she suddenly found a new continent.
"Thanks for reminding me." Olivia smirked.
"You're gay, Gretchen's gay. And you're both single. You two should meet."
"Since when you are interested in matchmaking?"
"Come on, she's really nice. You will like her." Lemon said drag Olivia toward Jack and Gretchen.
"Hey Jack, hey Gretchen."
"Oh Lemon, I didn't know you are coming." Jack said sip his drink.
"Why not, this is my show." Liz frowned and the she saw Gretchen is satring at Olivia, "Oh, this is Olivia, my friend from college. And Olivia, this is Jack, my boss and Gretchen, Jack's friend."
"Hi, Olivia Benson, nice to meet you." Olivia shakes hands with both Jack and Gretchen.
"Olivia is a NYPD detective of…" Liz stopped and turned to Olivia "…what's it name?….the special sex crime something."
Olivia:"It's the special victim unit."
Liz: "Oh…yeah…for sex crime."
"I never thought Lemon would have some non-nerd friend." Jack said while smiling wiredly to Olivia.
Liz: "Well…Olivia is very cool, you should know each other, Gretchen."
"Lemon, what are you doing?" Jack frowns and drags Liz aside.
"Olivia's gay. I think she's perfect for Gretchen."
"You know, not whatever two lesbians can be a couple. And now I'm sure you are not gay Lemon, you won't be a good lesbian actually. You know nothing about them."
"What?"
"Gretchen is definitely a top and look at your friend Olivia, can she be more butch? You set two tops together. God…Lemon, you really are straight." Jack laughed wryly.
"Oh come on. I know what I know. I'm straight, so are you. So why do you think you know lesbians better than I do?"
"Trust me, Lemon, straight guys know lesbian."
"Oh…for god's sake…you are sick, men are sick. Just go find Kenneth to play poker." Liz pushes Jack away.
"Where's Jack going?" Grecthen saw Jack left and asks.
"The poker game. You know, typical man." Liz answered quickly and then she asked, "So, Gretchen, how do you know Jack?"
"We used to work in plastic. He's an interesting guy."
"Interesting? Interesting." Liz raises an eyebrow.
"So Liz, how do you know Olivia?" Gretchen smiles slyly.
Liz: "We met in college."
"I may be Liz's only lesbian girlfriend actually." Olivia answers while leans on the counter casually.
Gretchen: "Oh…so Olivia is the cool girlfriend from college you've mentioned."
Liz: "Yeah…she's still cool now."
Gretchen: "So…are you seeing anyone Olivia?"
Liz: "No…she's not…she's single, just like you."
"Well…I just lost my girl friend…so…" Olivia shrugged.
"I thought that ADA broke up with you years ago?" Liz turns to Olivia and asks.
"Maybe not the same ADA." Gretchen says staring at Olivia.
Liz: "Really?"
Olivia sighed: "Just so you know, not so many ADAs are gay and interested in a cop. And she didn't break up with me. She was shot 3 years ago for a case involved with a drug lord."
Liz: "OMG, that's horrible. I'm so sorry to hear that Olivia."
Gretchen: "It was 3 years ago. How did you recover from it?"
Liz: "Yeah, it was 3 years ago. I'm sure Olivia's ready to move on."
"Not really……there's still something I have to figure out." This time. It's Olivia who's satring at Gretchen.
"I don't think she really means it." Liz says drags Olivia aside, "What the hell are you doing, Olivia? Can't you see that I'm trying to set you up with Gretchen? She's very hot, I will jump on her immediately if she was a man. You owe me big for introducing her to you. And for god's sake, I have to prove Jack was wrong for his 2-tops-can't-be-together-theory. So stop talking about your late girl friend right now!"
"I don't think Gretchen would mind." Olivia says walking back to Gretchen, "But; what the hell. What about you, Gretchen? You don't look like some blind date kind of person."
Gretchen: "Well, I always trust Jack for his good taste."
Liz smiles almost shyly: "Let's stop talking about me. Hey, you know what? I always wondering about what kind of case that sex something squad deals with? Why don't you tell us some interesting stories, Olivia."
Both Olivia and Gretchen shouted: "It's the special victim unit!"
Liz: "Wow…you two are already get the same rhythm."
Olivia: "My job is everything but interesting. You sure don't want to hear those stories. What about yours, Gretchen?"
Liz: "Yeah, right, I can't imagine you're from plastic."
Gretchen: "Well I wasn't always in plastics; I used to work in an insurance company and then I do some water and process technologies working mainly in primary metals. That's when I met Jack."
"Your job sounds…not bad." Olivia doesn't know what to say.
Gretchen saw Olivia's expression and then she said slyly: "You know, Liz is right. I am very interested in your job, Detective. Tell us something."
Liz: "Oh, I remember I read some story about your unit once or twice on newspaper. Like that one with a dead gay ADA who was an HIV positive. Is it true that he once dated some female detective? I thought gay guys know they are gay from day one." Liz said puts a shrimp into her mouth.
"Liz, that female detective is standing right in front of you." Olivia answers matter-of-factly.
Liz: "What? I thought you only like women."
Olivia: "I do and he only liked man. We dated only because we were not sure if we would be treated differently because our sexuality."
"Another ADA ha?" Gretchen raises an eyebrow while staring at Olivia.
Liz: "Hey, was that brunette I once saw with you the ADA got shot?"
Olivia: "You mean Abbie Carmichael? No…she's the one before Alex actually."
"Alex……" Gretchen is almost whispering
"Yeah, Alex." Olivia repeats the name
"The one before?" Liz laughes loudly, "Oh god, I never thought you have a thing to ADAs. I thought you said you hate those arrogant women who wear suits and high heels."
"Another ADA ha?" Gretchen widened her eyes.
Olivia rolls her eyes :"God, Liz, who said the one before means that…I mean Abbie was our ADA before Alex was assigned to our unit. For god's sake! And I don't hate those women."
Liz: "So that Alex was the one ha?"
Olivia: "Is."
Liz: "Sorry, but I thought you said she got shot."
Olivia: "She didn't die. Instead, she went to the witness protection program for her own safety."
Tracy comes from nowhere: "Wow, that sound cool and…fun…"
Liz slaps at Tracy: "Tracy, go away."
"You know, if I go to the WPP, I will name myself Stacy Gordon and be a rap singer and earn more money than all those movies I made. And then people would forget about Tracy Jordan and I will be safe forever." He says before he disappears again.
Liz rolled her eyes: "WPP? So her alive should be a secret?"
"It was a secret 6 months ago until the feds nailed down that drug lord who ordered to kill her. So it's not a secret any more." Olivia answeres while glaring at Gretchen.
"So, did she come back?" Liz doesn't sense anything wrong between those two.
Olivia: "No. I still have no idea where the fuck she is."
"So, she did dump you. Maybe she met some one else during the program." Liz turns to Gretchen, "Like I said. Olivia is still single."
Olivia: "Yeah, you are right. Maybe I should move on and got myself some blind date."
Gretchen: "Maybe she got some reasons not coming back. Maybe she thought her girlfriend is already with someone else, perhaps the new ADA and have a happy life and completely forget about her."
"If she wouldn't come back. How could she possibly know that?" Olivia is getting closer and closer to Gretchen.
Gretchen: "Because maybe she saw her girlfriend smiling too much too enthusiasm to another blonde ADA while she was desperately for a reunion."
They were just staring each other.
"Casey is not blonde!" Olivia finally shouts out.
Liz: "What's going on here? You guys? "
"You should've listened to me Lemon. Look what you did?" This time, Jack comes from nowhere. He laughs at Lemon and then walks away again.
Liz: "What I did?"
Gretchen breaks the stare : "Look, I should go. Good luck Liz. And" She then turns to Olivias, "pkease say hello to the guys and Casey for me, Liv."
Liz: "You are leaving already? And…who's Casey? What did I miss?"
Olivia grabs Gretchen's hand:" Alex…"
Liz: "Alex?"
Olviia says hesitately: "Or Emily…"
Liz: "Emily?"
Gretchen says very seriously: "Don't call me Emily."
Liz: "Yeah, her name's Gretchen, btw, are you drunk Olivia?"
Olivia and Gretchen are just ignoring her: "Alex, I haven't dated since that night. Casey is just a colleague."
Liz: "Why do you keep calling Gretchen Alex?"
Gretchen: "You really don't have to explain this to me."
Olivia: "Hey, you are the one who went to some blind date with this straight girl who happened to be my ex-girlfriend."
Liz: "Hey, since when I'm the problem. I'm the matchmaker remember?"
Gretchen: "I thought the love of my life moved on so I thought I should do that to."
Olivia: "Like I said, Casey's just a colleague!"
Liz: "OK, who the hell is this Casey person? I'm really confused now."
Gretchen: "So……you are still single?"
Olivia: "Of course I am. What else could I do? I mean, my heart left with you at that night."
"So, you guys are just ignoring me?" Liz now is just watching the exchange between those two.
Gretchen smiles: "Oh, god. I'm so stupid. Why didn't I come to you earlier?"
"Because you are just an arrogant bitch who can never stand failure." Olivia says holding the blonde's hand.
Liz: "Now……what the hell is going on?"
Gretchen: "Remember, this bitch never fails."
Olivia: "Oh, really? What if her girl friend doesn't feel comfortable about her blind dating her girlfriend's ex-girlfriend?"
Grecthen smiles warmly at Olivia: "So, can I do something to make up to you?"
Olivia: "It depends on what kind of things you are going to do."
Gretchen: "You know. 4 year's a really long time. Gretchen's learnt to be really good at some certain stuff. Way better than Alex."
"What? From whom?" Olivia fakes being angry.
Gretchen: "Just kidding."
Olivia: "You better be…I mean, except you studied by yourself."
"Are you two flirting?" Liz is staring at them very surprised.
Olivia: "I think your friend Jack is busy with his poker game…so, my place?"
Gretchen: "Are you still living in that shitty apartment?"
Olivia: "You know how much they pay cops. Hey, how's plastic pays?"
Gretchen: "Better than DA's office."
"Nice." Olivia smiles brightly and then leaves with a even happier Gretchen holding hands.
"And….you're welcome. " Liz watches those two leaving together said confusedly.
"Hey, Liz. Those two chicks left?" Frank comes from behind and asks.
You mean Gretchen and Olivia?
"Yeah! They're hot and get even hotter together. You know what. It's so nice of you to leave them and not ruin that fancy version." Frank says very sincerely and he even puts a hand on Liz's shoulder.
What fancy version?
Imagine they are together, naked. It will be better than any lesbian porn I have ever seen!
Liz rolls her eyes: "Gross."
You are just jealous.
No!
Yes you are.
Liz: "I never thought it really would work out. I mean, Gretchen is the best blind date I have ever had and Olivia is the best ex I've ever had…and now they are together although I still don't know why Olivia's keep calling her Alex…but…why I'm always the one who remains single?"
"If you feel liketo have someone to spend the night together. You know where to find me." Then, he left a frowned Liz Lemon behind.
"Oh, by the hammer of thorn. Shoot me!"