"I'm tired of this, Jane. I'm so tired of it." Maura shouted and cut off her friend. Enough was finally enough.
"Tired of what?" Jane stopped in her tracks, shocked at Maura's outburst.
"This, what you've become. You're not the amazing person I befriended all those years ago. You've changed, men are you priority, you come down here, you come down to my office, you come to the morgue and all you do is complain about Casey, you worry about Casey, EVERY THING IS ABOUT CASEY," Maura slammed the folder she was holding down on the desk. "You never stop, you barely ask how I am anymore, and when you do and I finally start to open up - you cut me off again to bitch about Casey and his stupid surgery!"
"Mau-"
"No, Jane, you are going to listen to me for once and you aren't going to like it but I can't deal with keeping this inside anymore, I can't handle who you are becoming," Maura once again cut Jane off. "Since when is Detective Jane BAD ASS Rizzoli so dependent on a man? Since when does she allow her personal life interfere with doing the job she loves so much?" Maura was now walking her office. "The other day I was talking to you about my dilemma with Hope, and you, and you just brushed it aside and talked about bullshit with Casey. I thought you were my best friend, Jane?"
"I am, Maura. You know how much you mean to me." Jane had tears begin to well in her eyes.
"I don't anymore, Jane. You used to be there for me and I was there for you in return, but I am tired of being the one there for you while I have no one," Maura raised her finger to Jane who was about to speak. "No, you don't get to talk now, I get to talk. This is how I feel Jane, I feel lost, and lonely, like I am second best to a guy who doesn't even deserve you, Jane. He keeps you in the dark about the most personal things in his life, a life altering surgery, one he could die from and he still keeps you at arms length. I am so tired of seeing you, this incredible, independent, amazingly strong human being," Maura took a deep breath and stared at Jane from behind her desk. Her eyes were glassy, her heart was beating fast, but she needed to say this. She had to say this.
"I'm tired of seeing you fall for the men who say they love you, or that they care for you and then show it to you by lying to you, by using you like Gabriel did, or by walking in and out of your life and keeping you in the dark about important decisions, like Casey." Maura sat on her desk chair, looking over to Jane. "And you fall for it every-time, you allow yourself to be pulled in and treated so damn badly, and I sit back and I catch you every time you fall, I'm the one that's there at the end of it all, Jane."
"I know." Jane whispered and rubbed her scars.
A few moments of silence passed and allowed Maura to gather the remainder of her thoughts.
"I'm tired of offering my love to you, and you not doing anything about it." Maura's whisper matched the whisper heard from Jane.
"What?" Jane looked up and stared at Maura. The room became painfully silent.
"I date these men, men that I know don't deserve me, but they provide comfort and intimacy, they provide me with a distraction from my true feelings. They allow me to feel wanted in return," Maura licked her lips. "Even Dennis made me feel wanted, and he had planned to kill me the entire time. But at least he showed me interest."
"I don't understand." Jane quietly replied.
"You never have," Maura sighed and leaned forward. "I'm tired of feeling so much love for you, and not getting it back, not the way I want it, not the way I need it or desire it. I want you to love me, Jane, I want you to love somebody who worships you, who is there for you, who loves you for who you are and won't try and change that, who won't keep you in the dark, who allows you to know every inch of their life. And I am offering this, all of this and I am laying it on the line and you never catch on, you're supposed to be this brilliant detective and yet you can't see what's going on right in front of your face," Maura wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "You can't see how much I am in love with you."
"I can," Jane's voice was still a whisper. Jane looked up as she felt Maura stare at her. "I've always known. I've just been too afraid to allow myself to feel the way you feel. I've been scared to think of myself loving someone who loves me back. So I go about with guys like Dean and Casey, and I get hurt, and I got caught up with Casey, and now I'm torn between loving him and loving you. And I don't know what to do."
Maura closed her eyes and stood up from her chair; she grabbed her jacket from behind the door and picked her phone up from the table.
"Maura?" Jane stood up and walked over to Maura who was now standing centimeters from her office door.
"Allow me to tell you what to do, Jane," Maura wrapped her hand around the doorknob. "Go love Casey, love somebody who treats you like shit, because I'm tired of being treated the way I've been treated by you. I deserve somebody who isn't afraid to love me. I deserve better than you."
Jane watched as Maura walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. She walked over to Maura's couch and sat down with her head in her hands, she was crying, for the first time in a long time, Jane Rizzoli was sobbing, the tears were flowing and her heart was hurting. The words she never wanted to hear from her best friend's mouth had been said. Her life was falling apart, and she was the only one to blame.
Contemplating a sequel, let me know if you'd be interested! Cheers - MT x