Full Summary:
Dr. Orihime Inoue's life is turned upside when Ulquiorra shows up in her emergency room twelve years later. Deep in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, Orihime tries to make sense of her life, as her passion for Ulquiorra quickly spins out of control. She must come to learn that faith is not a decision based on evidence; it is a commitment made in the face of doubt.
This is a Ulquihime story, with a history of Ishihime and many other pairings that will slowly be revealed- a little something for everyone ;) Music guide and my author comments on each chapter at my livejournal: mmagnoliastorm-livejournal-com (replace the - with . )
I do not own Bleach, Mr. Tite Kubo does- this applies to the rest of the chapters as well. Feedback is much appreciated.
A Leap of Faith
Twelve years ago
She had been waiting in Rangiku's quarters for what felt like forever. She felt like she was holding her breath the entire time. Please, please, please don't sentence them to death, please, please! She thought to herself. She sat crossed legged on the floor of the office, her eyes squeezed shut, her fingers crossed and up in the air, and her arms crossed.
"What are you doing?" Rangiku inquired. She was suddenly standing behind Orihime, leaning over with a questioning look.
"Gah!" Orihime startled. "Oh, hi! I was crossing my legs and my arms and my fingers and I'm even crossing my toes, but you can't see them cuz they're in my shoes," Orihime explained.
"Silly girl! What will crossing your fingers and limbs do?" The blonde teased, but when she saw the worried look on Orihime's face she softened. "Whatever Central 46 decides, we'll all just have to accept it. We'll figure something out," The older woman gave Orihime a reassuring smile and she sat down on the floor next to her. Both of them were silent for a moment, but just that single pause felt too tense for Rangiku.
"How about we distract ourselves so we're not thinking about it? …Say, you could help me with all this paper work I have to do! My Captain will be really mad if I don't get this done in today!" Rangiku's whining was interrupted but a loud knocking on the door. It was the messenger who had come to deliver news of the sentencing. Bowing very deeply he formally offered up the scroll of paper.
It has been decided by Central 46 that the Espada will be drained of all powers, sealed away into human bodies and exiled to earth. The Espada will live the life of a normal human being. They will age as all humans do and die a human death.
Elation had filled Orihime's heart. They weren't going to be executed! They would live! Orihime's face lit up with joy.
"Hold on, Orihime. Unfortunately, part of the sentencing was that the Espada would all be placed in various cities far away from each other enough. I suppose it must be because they don't want the Espada to form a tight-knit group like the Visoreds."
"What? Why would they do that?" Orihime cried.
"It might be to prevent them from working together and try gain some of powers back. They could work together over time like the Visoreds did and become a threat," Rangiku postulated, giving her friend a comforting hug.
"It's also to prevent them from contacting any of you."
The two women turned around and saw the shadow of Rangiku's captain.
"You and your friends would be better off not knowing where they are and not interfering with their lives," Captain Hitsugaya solemnly explained.
"Wha! What makes you think we'd inter-" Orihime protested before Hitsugaya cut her off.
"They won't need your help. They'll be set up with everything they need to live a normal human life, besides this isn't supposed to be easy for them. It's essentially a prolonged death sentence of the cruelest sort to have them live as humans after being such powerful arrancars. " He explained. Rangiku scowled at her Captain's lack of tact.
"It's probably for the best, Orihime," Rangiku said softly.
"But-"
"There's nothing you can do. Now, Matsumoto, where's that paper work I asked for?"
As the Captain and his Lieutenant bickered over paper work, Orihime frowned with consternation. How will they know how to live as humans? Would they know about cooking, and shopping, and taking out the trash, and going to school, and getting a job, and finding an apartment? Would they be alright? Would she even get to see them again? Would she see Ulquiorra again? Would she get to say good-bye at least? Orihime's head spun with question after question. She felt dizzy and the squabbling between Hitsugaya and Rangiku faded into the background.
"Ulquiorra…" She said quietly and almost inaudibly to herself.
Chapter 1: The Return
Last week
Orihime walked quickly down the hospital hallway toward the ER. She wore dark green scrubs under her white coat. The pocket on the left side of the white coat had the Crest for St. Luke's hospital and Orihime's name, Dr. Orihime Inoue, embroidered in blue underneath it. As she pushed past the door of the ER and chaos hit her: woman crying, ambulance sirens ringing, nurses and doctors running back and forth. A fumbling intern in light green scrubs ran up to Orihime.
"What do we have?" Orihime asked calmly as she took the chart from the resident.
"Car accident caused by a drunk driver; the driver is dead. His car hit a minivan with a family in it. The drunk driver ran a red light and t-boned the driver's side of the minivan. Mom and dad are fine; dad's got a broken arm because he was driving the minivan. Their little girl was in the backseat of the minivan on the driver's side that was hit."
"Oh," Orihime said quietly as her eyes skimmed quickly over the notes on the chart.
"The two cars also rear-ended the minivan. The little girl's body took the brunt of it," The intern said chewing her lip as she followed Orihime into the small trauma room in the ER. There was a nurse administering an IV, a father sitting down with his arm in a sling, and a woman crying uncontrollably.
"My baby! My baby! Please, save my baby!" The woman cried. Orihime took one look at the little girl's body and understood why the woman was so hysterical. There was a lot of blood and bones showing where they shouldn't have been. The girl's eyes were closed, her pale face badly bruised, cut with glass, and parts of her skull on her forehead was showing. Orihime gave her orders to the nurse and her intern to prepare an OR. Then she walked over to the woman and put her hand on her should.
"What's your daughter's name?" Orihime asked. She already knew the name from looking at the chart, but it was always good to allow the parents to provide the information in situations like this. Providing the information gave the parents a purpose in a situation where they were powerless to do anything except rely on the doctors and nurses.
"L..Lilly," The woman answered, rubbing her red nose with an overly used Kleenex.
"I'm going to do everything that I can to save your daughter, Lilly, okay? I need you to believe in Lilly, believe in her strength. Believe that she can pull through this, okay?" As Orihime said this, she had wrapped an arm around the woman's shoulders and was slowly leading the woman out of the trauma room without the woman even noticing. The woman's glassy muddy-green eyes were fixated on Orihime and nodding. The father followed them out. The parents and Orihime paused outside the trauma room door.
"We're going to do everything…" Orihime began before she heard a loud steady BEEEEEPPP coming from the room. She rushed inside, and the parents quickly followed- the mom's crying and sobbing commencing again. As Orihime quickly began to do everything she was ever taught to do in a situation like this in order to save the little girl, her intern and nurse rushed into the room and sprang into action. Orihime pulled out the defibrillator and started charging it. At Orihime's command, the nurse was quickly setting up the tools needed to open the girl's chest right there on the table. The intern had grabbed a pair of scissors and was cutting open the already ripped and blood soaked dress the girl was wearing. Orihime called for another nurse to take the parents outside the room. No one was doing a very good job of keeping the parents out of the room.
Orihime worked quickly, skillfully; she had done this many times before. She had saved countless lives. She was one of the most promising trauma surgeons at St. Luke's hospital. All of her mentors and teachers commended her on her infallible surgical skills; she could work fastidiously, remain calm, take decisive actions when needed under pressure, and remain in the OR as long as necessary to save a life. While other doctors got tired and needed to be relieved, Orihime always kept going. But what made her extremely valued as a doctor was her ability to connect with her patients. She had a genuine, warm, and compassionate bedside manner that always played an important role in how her patients recovered.
All of this meant nothing right now though. The girl had flatlined. Orihime didn't notice how loud the mom was screaming. For some reason, sound was gone, and all she could see was this dead girl in her arms. She didn't notice when one of her emergency room colleague had come in.
"Inoue, she's gone. Call it," the doctor said, coldly. Orihime didn't respond, she simply held the child in her arms.
"Call it!" The doctor demanded.
When Orihime didn't respond, the doctor quickly said in an annoyed tone, "Time of death 5:55 PM." He scurried away.
The mom was still screaming in pain. The intern was trying to keep them away from the room. Orihime wanted to tell him to let the parents come in to say good bye. Orihime took a deep breath and leaned over, resting her forehead on the girl's shoulder. She reached over and placed her hand over the non-beating heart.
The poor intern was having a hard time dealing with the parents. He wasn't sure if he should let them in or not. What if he didn't and then they couldn't be there to say good bye to their daughter? But should he be letting them cry all over a dead body? Shouldn't they be calling for someone to come get the body? Despite his stream of thoughts, he noticed from the corner of his eye a golden glow coming from the trauma room. It looked like the rays of a glowing lamp almost, but it was dark in the trauma room and he couldn't see what was going on. Letting go of the parents, the intern stumbled over to the trauma room. A nurse and another intern also followed him. The doctor who had called the time of death also noticed the glow and was walking to the room. By the time they reached the room though, the glow was gone.
It was just Orihime, sitting on the chair next to the bed, her shoulders hunched over and her head bent so her bangs covered her eyes. She didn't look happy…she looked like a strange combination of tired or weak and unhappy. Orihime's hand was still holding the little girl's hand, and everyone heard a loud gasp come from the mother's mouth. The parents rushed to the bedside while Orihime's colleagues all stared at her: their faces were filled disbelief, shock, and confusion...but most of all, they were all scared. The little girl was sitting up in bed, her cheeks pink and her bright eyes blinking with confusion. The girl seemed okay somehow; she still had some of her bruises and cuts, but her most serious wounds had healed completely.
"W-what just happened?" The intern finally asked. No one answered. Orihime simply got up quickly and left the room.
She walked out of the ER and down the hospital corridor. Once she was a safe distance, she began to run. She ran as fast as she could to the stairs before taking them down into the basement of the hospital. There she collapsed underneath the stairs, and began to cry.
Today
"You paged me?" Orihime said as she walked into the ER. It was Wednesday night, although the clock ticking showed that it was actually 3:22 AM Thursday. It felt like what had happened had been weeks ago, not merely just last week. Everywhere she walked now, people stared at her and whispered behind her back. They said things like:
Maybe she's a witch?
I heard she brought that little girl back from the dead!
How is that even possible?
What did she do?
She's always seemed really weird.
I mean, look at what she eats at lunch.
Yeah, she has always been a little bit off, I guess this shows it.
She's some kind of freak.
Everyone had heard what had happened, and Orihime knew it was only a matter of time before she had to go face the chief to explain the events. They would suspend her until their investigation was over. Orihime didn't care about any of it: the administrators, her fellow doctors, the nurses and staff. The only thing she was upset about was that she had used her powers.
It had been years…years since she used her powers. She was surprised they still worked. She tucked a lock of her auburn hair behind her ear, her fingers briefly touching one of her hairpins. She wore her hair differently now, messy and twirled up into a bun. The hairpins helped keep the bun in place. She was disappointed in herself. She couldn't heal the girl by being a normal doctor. She had to use the powers. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't use her powers as a doctor- it was unfair and unethical. She couldn't make decisions that only God could make. She had discussed this with her friends and Urahara so many times. They had all decided. They had all made a pact. It was over; they weren't going to use their powers anymore. They weren't allowed to anyways. Why did she fail herself and her friends now? What was it about that girl that made Orihime break down and crack under pressure?
Surprisingly the ER had been quiet all night. Orihime had been upstairs in her office going over some charts when she was paged to the ER. Her mind had been fuzzy since the event. No one was paging her lately because of the event.
I don't feel like myself, Orihime thought.
"Sorry, Dr. Inoue, there wasn't anyone else on call and the other resident on call isn't answering his page," the young nurse said. Orihime gave the nurse a reassuring smile.
"It's okay….Delia, right?" Orihime always prided herself on remembering people's names. The young nurse nodded with a genuine shy smile. "So, what do we have?" Orihime asked as she followed the nurse over to one of the emergency room beds hidden behind a privacy curtain.
"Young male, 27 years old, head injury. He said he 'hit his head' on his desk after he bent over to pick up a pen." Delia explained skeptically as she handed Orihime the chart.
When Orihime had walked in, she had only noticed that the young man was wearing jeans, a pair of old sneakers, and a black t-shirt. It was only when she saw the name of the chart that her eyes turned into saucers and she was just barely able to suppress a gasp of surprise.
Ulquiorra sat on the hospital bed with his legs hanging off the side and his arms casually resting on the bed behind him. When he saw Orihime, he leaned even further back and tilted his head upward, assessing her. He narrowed his eyes for just a split second before returning to his plain but relaxed self.
"His name is Schiffer. Ulquiorra Schiffer.…" The nurse said before she was cut off.
"Schiffer," Orihime said reflexively. His name sounded foreign on her tongue. It had been so long since that name came out of her mouth. Sure, there was the occasional dream…but no one had talked about the Espada for so long, they had almost faded into nothing. Everyone had jobs, families, obligations; adult lives. The Espada seemed like a part of their youth that had been locked away. Sometimes Orihime wondered if he had been something she made up completely.
Her voice sounded just like he remembered, with its soft cheerful feminine tones- except, there was something new in her voice. There was a husky mature tone that was irresistibly sexy. The voice belonged to a woman, not the 16 year old girl Ulquiorra had once known.
"Oh do guys know each other?" The nurse said raising her eyebrows. She looked back and forth between Orihime and the patient.
"Yes…from a long time ago, from a completely different world," Orihime muttered as she stepped up to Ulquiorra and began examining his head wound. "Delia, could you go check on that patient in 405 and then get an MRI for Mr. Schiffer," Orihime asked absentedly.
She forced herself to focus on the head wound and not Ulquiorra, himself. It was what many doctors had to do in order to remain objective. She examined the injury, frowning at how extensive the head wound was; hitting one's head on a desk would not cause such damage.
Ulquiorra watched as Orihime examined him. He was inwardly amused with the seriousness and intensity of her gaze. Ulquiorra's eyes didn't leave her at any point during her examination. He looked her over and took her in. Her face maintained its youthful appearance, despite a few shadows underneath her eyes. Her hair was in a messy bun and she wore standard hospital scrubs with her white coat. Even if it wasn't intentional, she still had a healing affect on people just by being herself. She looked good, he thought, good but tired. The examination continued in silence until finally Orihime who broke the silence.
"So, I didn't know you had moved back here," Orihime commented, looking up and holding his gaze for a heartbeat. His green eyes were always so unsettling, Orihime thought.
"I never lived here," he responded.
"Well, you know what I mean," Orihime said putting away the examining light and flashing Ulquiorra a coy smile. "I've heard some things about you."
"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.
"You've been mainly living in New York City and England, right?"
"I guess, off and on," he said. She stared at him with her piercing grey eyes, encouraging him to expand upon his answer. He sighed, finally looking away from her. She saw a flash of fatigue and indifference in his eyes.
"I've lived other places too," he managed to add.
"So what brings you here?" She asked casually, leaning against the sink counter. Somewhere in the tiniest corner of her heart she wondered if perhaps she had anything to do with his return. She had to admit to herself: something about being so close to him after all these years made her giddy- giddy, but extremely nervous as well.
"An award," he said simply, his tone not giving away the slightest hint of emotion.
When she didn't say anything except stare at him with those large doe-like eyes, he sighed once more and explained.
"There's going to be a banquet, ceremony, they give me the award: the usual charade."
"Wow, congratulations!" She said, smiling brightly.
"It's nothing," he said quietly, looking down at his shoes.
"What do you mean? You're getting an award, which must mean you're just as successful as the newspapers say."
"You've been reading about me?" He inquired; something inside him lurched to attention.
"Well…I mean, just every now and then…I see something. It's not like I follow all of your stories," Orihime scrambled quickly, feeling flustered. She blushed thinking to herself, you're such stalker, Orihime!
He noticed her face getting pink, and awarded her with a short dry laugh. Orihime blinked several times trying to determine if she had really just heard Ulquiorra Schiffer…laugh.
"I'm not saving lives," he countered.
She froze. His words stung her as she remembered how she had saved the life of the little girl named Lilly.
Ulquiorra noticed to change in her demeanor immediately, but couldn't decipher the source of her distress. Orihime looked serious and distracted for a moment, but then, like a small cloud passing over the sun, she smiled again. She blinked and returned to her usual self.
Orihime snapped out of her darker thoughts and took off her gloves. She was frustrated that she let him see her mood slip like that. Normally, she was much more composed. The event with Lilly had affected her too much.
"Well, what you do sounds like fun," she said, turning around to wash her hands in the sink.
"Hardly," he said, his voice returning to its emotionless dry tone.
"What do you mean?" Orihime asked as she dried her hands and walked over to stand by him.
"It's a long story," he said shortly, indicating his refusal to say more. Eyeing him speculatively, she noticed his body appeared more relaxed than what she would have expected. His forearms and biceps were well toned. His face was pale but healthy. He still seemed detached and his voice was dry with inherent sarcasm.
"I see…" Orihime said thoughtfully, resisting the incredible urge to pry more into his life. Before she could decide what to say next, Delia returned.
"I checked on 405 and finished the charting. Are we ready to take him to the MRI?" She asked Orihime.
"That will not be necessary," Ulquiorra said quickly before Orihime could answer. He hopped off the table. "I am fine."
"No, I can't let you leave in your condition. You might have a concussion," Orihime said with concern.
"If I do have one, I am just supposed to not fall asleep or something, right?" He said dismissively. "Don't worry, that will not be a problem."
What's that supposed to mean? What else would he be doing if he's not sleeping? Orihime thought, before berating herself for putting her mind where it didn't belong.
"Doctor Inoue, if it pleases you, you may write me prescription for some pain medication but honestly, I feel fine and I have to go. The only reason why I ended up here was because the cops who arrested the guy who punched me required that I come by and be inspected. I am not hiding any fatal wounds, I promise."
"Hey! That's not what you said happened!" Delia cried out in protest.
He started walking away.
"Just tell the policemen in the waiting room that I am fine. I will sign whatever you want me to so that you do not get in trouble if I fall over die," he said dryly.
"Don't joke about dying," Orihime snapped, surprising both of them and the nurse.
Ulquiorra frowned at the sudden change in tone.
"It's not funny." Orihime added more softly.
Ulquiorra paused and gave her a thoughtful look. It was that thoughtful look that was Orihime's undoing. It seemed for a moment he was actually considering her...considering her because she was now a part of his life again.
"Ugh! Fine, I'll write you a prescription," she gave in. "But you better come back if anything changes within the next twenty-four hours: any sudden flashes of light, dizziness, confusion, forgetfulness. And make a follow-up appointment with your primary care physician." She scribbled her signature on the pad of paper and handed it to him.
"Thank you, Dr. Inoue," he said in a low and quiet way that made Orihime think of darker things. His emerald green eyes held her grey ones until she shivered. When she looked away from him, he took the prescription and shoved it in his back pocket.
Parting the privacy curtain to leave, he said "It was good to see you again."
He gave her one last glance over his shoulder before disappearing behind the curtain.
Orihime stood where she was in shock, wondering if he really meant what he had just said.
It was around 5:00 PM on Friday when Orihime headed out of the hospital for home. It was raining and dark out for November. The chilly air threatened to turn the rain into sleet. Orihime buttoned up her black rain trench coat before tying the belt around her waist. While her raincoat was keeping her dry, her silly purple wool bucket hat did nothing to keep her hair from getting wet. She skipped over puddles and walked carefully to her car. It's definitely getting cold, Orihime thought to herself as she searched her messenger bag for her keys. Her gloves kept her fingers warm, but they made it harder for her to feel around in her bag for her keys. She pushed past some medical documents, past her empty tupperware that had held her lunch, past her water bottle, past the uneatened orange she had brought for a snack, past several old gum wrappers, past a lipstick that was probably about a year old, before finally finding her keys.
"Ugh! Brrr!" She said out loud to herself as she opened her car. She shoved her bag onto the passenger seat and started the car engine. While she let it run for a few minutes to warm up, she took off her soppy wool hat. She knew it would get smelly later from getting wet. Looking at it disapprovingly she picked at the little flower décor on the side of the rim. It was about to fall off. She had had this hat for too long, except she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it because of the person who had given it to her. She knew if she took it to him, he'd probably fix it right away for her. She could probably fix it herself but, for some reason, had no inclination to.
"I'm just letting it fall apart," she said in a soft, but bitter voice. Staring at the hat, her eyes grew sad and her heart heavy. Too much had happened in the past week. First the incident with her reviving the girl, and then the drama of the rumors and speculations that followed her around the hospital, and then….Ulquiorra.
"Ugh!" Orihime moaned, leaning over and resting her head on the steering wheel. She closed her eyes, and blindly reached over to turn on the heater. It starting blowing cold air. She knew, given about an hour, it would eventually turn into warm air. The old damn thing was also falling apart. With another sigh, she sat up and backed up car up and started her drive home.
She flipped on her windshield wipers and frowned with dismay when she noticed that the edge of the right windshield wiper was torn and flopping uselessly back and forth. At least it's not the left one on the driver's side, she thought, pulling onto one of the main roads that would take her through the center of town to the lower east side where her apartment was. She tried so hard to get an apartment that was closer to the hospital, but she couldn't afford any of them at her current salary. At least her commutes were usually quiet and uneventful. Her random and irregular doctor's schedule kept her from having to drive during rush hour. Today, however, she had gotten out just in time to join the massive force of workers trying to get home.
She was so tired, and her mind was completely somewhere else. The rush hour traffic was requiring a lot of attention from her: people braking suddenly, cars cutting in front of her, a tow truck that was pulling a van that was going too slow, an old lady who nearly hit Orihime's car when she made a wide right turn. Orihime, a girl who was known for her patience, just did not have the patience for the traffic today. She let out another groan as she pulled onto the next main road. It was the only route to get to her apartment, thanks to all the construction that was constantly going on in the city. She could see ahead of her the traffic being locked tight for blocks and blocks. Somewhere in a distance she heard sirens.
"Oh great," she said to herself, putting her car in park instead of bothering to hold her foot on the brake. It was clear she wasn't getting anywhere soon. People began honking their car horns impatiently and some cars started trying to make u-turns in order to take another route. The rain wasn't letting up either; in fact, just as Orihime had noticed the sudden severity of the rain, it started pouring buckets. She had already put her windshield wipers on the fastest speed, and it was doing little good. She huddled in her cold car, looking around at the gridlock she had found herself in. How did I get here? The random thought past through her mind without her even consciously thinking it. Orihime looked around at her surroundings, dark tall grey buildings, tightly packed together, people with their umbrellas, raincoats, goulashes rushing back and forth from the Friday evening business. The city was cold and merciless. Orihime's sad eyes looked down at the wet hat sitting next to her in the car. How did I get so unhappy? She secretly asked the hat.
"Ugh, stop being so depressed, Orihime!" She said, berating herself out loud. She needed to do something to get herself out of this funk. She had the weekend off; she should be planning something relaxing or exciting, or maybe relaxing and exciting. She shifted around in her car seat and, with great difficulty because of her seatbelt, pulled out her cell phone. The first person she thought to call was Tatsuki, but as her thumb moved over to the speed dial button for her best friend she remembered that Tatsuki was out of town. She was coaching the nearby university's women's soccer team and they were at an away championship game. I probably shouldn't bother her, she thought. She looked over at the hat again. She knew the next person she wanted to see….be with, talk to, laugh with.
"I shouldn't," she said looking at the hat. Images of the past year flew through her head: confusion, pain, regret, guilt. Yet, she needed him. He was the only person who could comfort her right now. Orihime pursed her lips, deciding she was going to go see him.
She put her car in reverse, and slowly inched backward, paying close attention to how much distance there was between her car and the car behind her. The driver of the car did not look happy but also backed up a little to give her room. When she finally had created enough space in front of her car, she turned her steering wheel all the way to the right and pulled illegally into the bike/bus lane. She zoomed quickly past all the parked cars, ignoring the angry honking. Making the first right turn, she set out on a different route to a very different part of town to go see Uryuu Ishida.