I recently got a review from someone asking where I got my manga scans but I couldn't reply because they didn't leave an email address. D: So for Sik and anyone else out there wondering, tsubasa . ametsubame . org is a very good and lovely site for manga scans. But pleasepleaseplease DO NOT hotlink any of the files! Mela has been having some issues with bandwidth theft and she's too awesome to have to go through that so be nice. D:

Now, on with the fic. :D

Title: To and Fro
Rating: PG-13.
Genre: Angstylike.
Warnings: CHAPTER 130 SPOILERS OMG. Yeah, sorry about that. D:
Notes: The lyrics I have here are from 'I'm Happy' by Terra Naomi (myspace . com / terranaomi). Although inspiration for this fic came from a number of songs (like always) I found that the lyrics of 'I'm Happy' fit Kurogane's POV quite well. (Also, Terra is an unsigned artist who is very awesome who you all should go give tons of love to. :D)

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To and Fro; by Corrupted-Phoenix
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when i look at you i don't see what i used to see
if i want a better life i'm sorry
forgive me
you're angry
you should be
i'm happy
I'm Happy – Terra Naomi

Had he made a mistake? Had he made the wrong decision? Was it a mistake to put his own wish before the wish of the very person he wanted to save? At the time, the questions didn't occur to him. The only thing in his mind was saving Fai. Anything, any option, that would let that idiot live was the right decision. There had been no second thoughts, no hesitations and no regrets then.

But now, Fai was waking up.

Kurogane had felt a wave of relief wash over him at the sight of Fai sitting up, torn between wanting to just hold him like he had never held him before or getting mad and yelling at him for being such an idiot. But Fai spoke first, that knowing, chilly smile crossing his thin, pale lips.

"Good morning, Kurogane."

Kurogane.

He said Kurogane.

Not Kuropii, not Kuropon, not Kurorin, not Big Puppy, not Kuropyon, not Daddy, not Kuromyu or any other ridiculous mutilation of his name. Just Kurogane. After everything he had done, he was just Kuro-fucking-gane.

That unforgiving smile on Fai's face might have well been a knife he had drove into Kurogane's back.

Fai's two simple words destroyed all the words Kurogane had planned to say, leaving nothing but a whirlwind of broken sentences running silently through the ninja's head. All he could was avert his red eyes to the ground with a heavy guilt he never expected to come. This was not the outcome he wanted.

But then, was this reaction really so surprising? It was so typically Fai that Kurogane should have been able to see it coming a mile away, yet here he was, still feeling the sting of being slapped in the face by it all.

It still didn't change the fact that he had saved that fucking idiot's life.

He had fought to protect him and keep him fucking alive, and this was his thanks? Didn't Fai realize how important he was to the kids? To him? Because he was important, goddamn important. Kurogane was willing to give anything and everything just let Fai live, and Fai hated him for it. Where was the justice in that?

Since day one Fai had called him by strange and silly nicknames, and day by day that intimacy grew a little bit more. There hadn't been a moment together in which Fai wasn't teasing or flirting with Kurogane.

And now that Kurogane had taken their relationship one giant step forwards, Fai took it fifty steps back.

Whether he liked it or not, Fai had become important. Not just to the children and Mokona, but to Kurogane as well. The mage had come too far and had gotten too involved to turn back now, but still he tried to escape.

But there was no escape or turning back now, and Kurogane was willing to take a hundred steps forward to make Fai realize that.