Hullo again! It's been ages since the last time I wrote and posted my first Narnia Fanfic and I don't have any idea what triggered me to write this one, but I quite like it, so I hope you feel the same. But surely enough my beloved character; Susan Pevensie is still the muse.

Well, you know the drill. I don't own Narnia; its awesomeness belongs to C. S. Lewis.

So please, enjoy it for free #Grinning

For a month after the funeral Susan never walked out of the Pevensie two stories household. Some people who didn't know better would say that she lost the will to live, but if you asked the Watson, The Evans, the Redskies or practically the families who lived in the same street as the Pevensie; you'll get different answer entirely.

It was true that Susan quitted her job as the junior secretary at the Longrock and Son company, refused all the invitation she got for the glamorous events of the season or the year at the time and never did groceries of cooked anything at all but she never, not even once, tried to starve herself to die.

After all Susan had all the money left by her parent and those two old dearest family friends of her to survive, not to mention her once distant uncle and aunt in Cambridge. The constant company of Mary Spott; the daughter of a high level British government official she inadvertently saved from a not so chivalrous man at a party sometime ago and those delicious homemade dishes from her neighbors to get by.

"This is Susan Pevensie you are talking about, the sweet beautiful eldest daughter of Helen and Frank Pevensie. Who remembers the entire neighborhood's birthday. Who never fails to send handkerchief, scarf or socks as present for us on birthdays and Christmas even as she is mourning and locking herself in for the loss of her beloved family. She doesn't lose her will to live and never will, dear. She just is trying to gather herself up. She has so much people who care and love her to ever lose her way. She needs time and we will give it to her. Su is a tough girl. She has the iron will of Frank under the beautiful and delicate manners that belong to Helen. Don't you ever worry, Mary. Just please stay by her side as long as she needs it. The reward you'll get would be exceptional. Trust me, I speak from experience." Mrs. Redskies told Mary once, when she asked if the older woman ever think that Susan would kill herself out of grief, one evening as she delivered a bowl of warm lamb stew for Susan.

And Mrs. Redskies never had been so right her entire live as when she said that.

Susan was once a Queen of a far away magical land. A lady of Cair Paravel who often left behind to nurture her subjects at the absent of her siblings when they rode to a battle field. She prepared herself thousands of time for the possibility of losing them all at once, so when it unfortunately happened there is no way she would succumb to the grief. She mourned for them of course, cried herself to sleep for waking up in the middle of the night with a fit of sobs. How she regretted the way she behaves around them the last years.

But Susan never stopped living, never thought about stopped living. That was the deal after all. 'Whoever of them who survived, had to live for the rest of them, with the pain until the very end with a smile if not a laugh.'

So Susan Pevensie locked herself in to mourn her loss, to rearrange her thoughts, her live. To consider and change the way she lived. To change her priorities in life.

Because the accident, she lost her privilege to live as an irresponsible young woman with a need of attention and affection. There would be no more parent to welcome her home whenever she felt lost, no more Peter and Edmund to protect or overly worried about her well being and no more Lucy to lighten her heavy heart whenever the world tried to crush her flat to the ground.

Now alone, she would once again embrace the responsibility, this time only for herself not for an entire kingdom. It should be easier, shouldn't it? But in fact it was not.

In the warm of her childhood home, with a constant and welcomed company of her apparently true friend and love from her neighbors, Susan tried to put her shattered heart and life back together.

Years later she would recall this month and smile brightly at the thought of how lucky she truly was. Aslan or… she would rather say Him these days, never ripped off anything from her without replaced it with something more wonderful. If only she wanted to see it through as she did at the moment.

Did you enjoy the chapter? Bye for now then and... See you some other time? #SmileSolemly