Once upon a time, Robotnik was gay. This is the story in which his secret is revealed. One day, Robotnik was playing swingball with a Swatbot.
(AN: Swingball is a miniature form of tetherball. If you don't know what tetherball is, you're a retard.)
Robotnik checked his watch, letting out a girlish squeal.
"High School Musical is on!" His short, stubby legs moved very quickly, which was very difficult because he had a lot of flab to move. He shoved Snively out of the control room, telling him that Cluck wanted to watch television. He flipped to the Disney Channel, thrilled he didn't miss anything.
One day, Robotnik walked in to a classroom. The teacher, Miss Nordstrom, screamed at Robotnik, calling him "Evan" and telling him he was blinking too loudly and to shut his eye holes before she shut them herself.
Two of the students, Jacey and Ashley screamed, at the top of their lungs, "Frickin' frickin' frickin', gay gay gay!"
The principal, Mrs. Kardashian, burst into the room and screamed, "Detention!", cackling evilly.
Then Spider Pig, with his wife, Mairi, came in and arrested Charlie the Unicorn for pretending to be Blaze the Cat. A meteor came and threatened to blow up the school. The children all screamed with glee. Except the Kindergarteners. They like school. They get naps and snacks, you know! And they get to play swingball all day with their invisible nostrils. Then, Robotnik used his fat to block the meteor and sent it back to outer space.
He then licked a bottle of fart acid. Then he farted. Everyone passed out.
Then, the munchkins from Munchkin Land came and beat the students with VCRs until candy came randomly flying out of them.
Hours later, Robotnik woke up in his gay, green chair. Snively came in and asked, "Why are you so obsessed with that chair, sir?"
"His name is Steve and I love him, even if he is gay." Robotnik replied, lightly stroking Steve's arm. Snively quickly left the room and went into the Great Forest, lookin for the Freedom Fighters for help. He ran into Espio.
"Proceed with caution. Perez Hilton lives just along the way." So Snively continues walking and runs into a guy with purple hair and questioned who he was.
"I am...Perez Hilton." He (or she; we can't really tell) said in a gay voice.
"Tell me how to cure my uncle," said Snively.
"First, you must go to Candy Mountain and get the singing Y. Then, you must go out and buy me the Camp Rock soundtrack. Finally, you need to lick a seashell in the middle of the desert on August 6th. What's wrong with him anyway?" Perez asked.
"Oh, he's just slightly gay, that's all," Snively explained.
"Oh...I'd like to meet him."
"Right, I'll 'arrange' that," the smaller man replied, thinking about roboticizing him. He turned and walked back to Robotropolis to fix his freakishly gay uncle.
Three months later...
Snively had taken away the green chair from the Main Control Room. In its place was a black chair. Robotnik was dead because of GCWD (green chair withdrawal) and he had a broken heart. Snively was in control of the city and was loving it. And t hat was the tale of how Robotnik was gay.
The End!
AN:
Yes, we realize that was completely random. We wrote part of it at a birthday party and the rest two months later (last night). We would know like to take the time to warn you about GCWD.
GCWD is a tragic disease in which a person becomes too attached to a green chair. This includes ALL SHADES of GREEN. The only way to cure this disease is to take away the green chair for so many hours a day until they no longer care to have an attachment of the chair. This may, however, lead to BDD (blue dish disease).
Thanks for reading! Peace out!
xAppleSaucex and Sam Brody or Moon Princess.