Title: Romance for a Change

Challenge 2 – Romance (challenge prompt is in italics)

Author: Robin

Disclaimer: Not mine. sigh

Rating: PG

My birthday had come and gone. And nothing from the men in my life. Not a card, not a phone call, not a vacuum cleaner or a set of screwdrivers. Nothing.

Unless I was working a skip that overlapped with one of Joe's cases, lately I only heard from him when his "boys" needed attention. And either his libido was slowing down or he'd found someone else to help out his "boys" because, I hadn't gotten a call like that in at least a month.

And Ranger. Well, he was no better. Half the time I wasn't sure we were on the same continent, let alone the same page. Unless he wanted me to dress up like a hooker and drag some skip out of a bar by his hard-on, I only spoke to him if I called needing help. Or if we ran into each other in the alley outside the bonds office and that didn't exactly involve talking.

"Men!" I shouted. Really, would it kill either of them to do something romantic once in a while? Maybe not flowers but they could do something. Candy! Something! I mean really, a girl needs some romance in her life and I knew just what I was gonna do to get it.

"Mary Lou?" I asked when I heard the hello on the other end.

"Hey, Stephanie! How are you? I haven't talked to you in ages. Did you get your birthday card? Mikey and Kenny have had the chicken pox and I was roped into sitting on the board of the PTA. Lenny is helping to expand the plumbing business into Princeton. It's a mad house. Did you hear what happened to Cissy Logan?"

I silently absorbed Mary Lou's greeting and update, which was – I kid you not – all one breath.

"Yeah, I was there. I'm sure her eyebrows will grow back." Don't ask – long story. "Hey, Lou, I need a favor."

"Of course, what do you need?" She instantly shifted into BFF mode. That was what I loved about Mary Lou.

I took a deep breath. "I need you to help get me a date."

"What!" I could hear her eyes bugging out of her head. "Don't you have enough testosterone on your hands between Joe and Ranger?"

"Lately, my hands have been empty. I'm tired of waiting around for those two. I need someone who appreciates me."

"Oh, so you're looking for a woman," she joked.

We laughed together for a moment, but when we sobered, I said, "I'm serious. I've got to do something. I'm not getting any younger."

"Lenny has a few friends from his softball team that are single. But, Steph, there's no one I know who holds a candle to those two. What about one of Ranger's men, they are all H-O-T, hot."

"No way. Uh uh. I don't want to be responsible for Ranger transferring them to the Timbuktu office. Plus I want you to find me an average guy. No more of this body like a Greek god, ass you can bounce quarters off of, crap. Joe and Ranger are both hot, but neither of them is giving me what I need."

"Oh my God. Don't tell me they both have erectile dysfunction! You know I was watching this thing on television the other night about how the levels of estrogen in the water supply are increasing from all these women on hormone replacement therapy. Did you know that by 2050, they think that men won't have enough sperm count for the species to survive?"

"No, I hadn't heard that, but that's not the problem. Really, they are both very able in the bedroom." I added the last part with conviction. If she started spreading a rumor that Joe and Ranger had problems getting it up, I'd have to join the witness protection program. "Sex is not the problem. It's everything else. If it isn't about work or sex, I don't hear from them. Neither of them even remembered my birthday."

"Ooh. Men!" she said, and I could almost see her narrow her eyes.

"I know, right? So, do you think you can help?"

"You be ready tomorrow at 7, I'll find you a man." Mary Lou to the rescue.

ooooooo

At five minutes before 7, there was a knock on my apartment door. He was early, but I was ready. I smoothed my slightly sweaty palms over the fabric of my skirt and took one last look in the mirror. I looked good. Not too sexy in my light blue cardigan, navy skirt and strappy navy sandals, but not bad at all.

I plastered a smile on my face and opened the door. My smile faltered when I saw the man filling the doorway.

"Joe." I croaked. He was leaning a shoulder on the door frame, a pizza box in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other, dead sexy smile on his lips, a day's growth of stubble on his cheeks.

He kissed my cheek as he brushed past me into my apartment. "I thought maybe we could watch the game, I provide the dinner, you provide dessert." He waggled his eyebrows.

I was dumbfounded, my mouth hanging open as he moved around my apartment like he owned the place. I hadn't seen him in weeks and here he was five minutes before I was trying to move on with my life.

"Uh, Joe," I said, still watching him shuffle through the drawers in the kitchen in search of my bottle opener. I swung the door shut, not looking back. I was surprised when instead of hearing it close, I heard a small 'oof' as it hit flesh. I closed my eyes. Perfect, I just maimed my date while my almost ex-"on again, off again boyfriend" made himself at home. This was going to go well.

Again I plastered the smile on my face, though it was a little more forced this time and I spun around to greet my mystery date. Again, the smile melted into a not so charming open-mouthed expression of disbelief. Ranger filled the doorway, rubbing his shoulder where I'd smacked him with the door.

"Babe, you should be more aware of—"

"My surroundings. Yeah, yeah, I know. What are you doing here?"

Ranger shut the door and walked toward me until he'd eliminated all of the space between our bodies. "I wanted to see if you were available to help with a job, but... I can see you're already busy," he said, looking past me to Joe, who'd just flipped on ESPN and flopped down on the couch with a grunt. "Morelli," Ranger said with a nod of greeting toward Joe.

"Manoso," Joe returned around a mouth full of pizza glowering at Ranger, no doubt because at this distance, I could tell you Ranger's mood. Parts of him were happy to see me.

I stepped back from Ranger and shot a death glare at both men, taking a deep breath in preparation for a screaming tirade, but on the inhale there was another knock on my door. I exhaled in a big sigh and narrowed my eyes, shooting looks at both of them, "Not a word out of either of you."

I stepped around Ranger and again tried for a smile. This time I'm sure it looked brittle because my face felt like it might crack. I opened the door and saw my date. Brown hair, brown eyes, average height, average weight, average blue oxford shirt and khaki pants covering an average looking body. My smile became genuine as I met his average face which was made more attractive by his very appealing, warm smile. He was right on time, with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. He was perfect.

"Hi, I'm Stephanie," I said. "You must be Milton."

"Yes, I am. I'm pleased to meet you Stephanie. These are for you, I hope you like chocolate," he said, handing me the gifts.

"Thank you," I said taking the box and smelling the colorful arrangement of roses and Gerber daisies. "I haven't gotten flowers this beautiful in ages."

"I'm afraid they pale in comparison to you." His sincerity turning what could be a trite line into a compliment that put a blush on my cheeks. "You're prettier than I expected. The newspaper doesn't do you justice."

There was a disgusted snort over my shoulder and the flush on my face deepened into flames. Milton craned his neck around the entrance to see who had made the sound and his eyes went wide as he took in the sight of Joe and Ranger. They were standing shoulder to shoulder, arms crossed over their chests looking every inch as dangerous as I knew they both could be. I rolled my eyes. Looked like they were willing to unite against a common enemy.

"Milton, this is Joe Morelli and Ranger. They're gonna watch the game over here while I'm out." I handed the chocolates to Ranger and the flowers to Joe. "Don't touch those," I warned Ranger, knowing that with his dietary prejudices I wouldn't really have to worry about that. I turned to Joe, "Put those in a vase for me, would you? I'm sure you know where to find one."

I turned back to Milton and grabbed his hand, dragging him out the door, calling over my shoulder, "Don't wait up, boys!"

I knew I'd have a lot to answer for tomorrow, but tonight I was going to make the most of being romanced. As Milton tucked my hand in the crook of his arm to escort me down the hall, I knew without a doubt that this was the man to do it.