April 2011

"Yeah, of course I'm glad he came to visit. I mean, I haven't seen him in over a year. It's just strange that he's stayed this long. When he said he was coming, I didn't think he'd stay a whole week."

Jeff and Annie walked down the fairly deserted corridor leading to the study room. Everyone else had left after the study session, but Annie had forgotten her keys. Since the notes she had promised to lend Jeff from a class she had taken last semester were locked in her car, he was accompanying her to retrieve them.

"Well, he is your dad, Annie. He probably missed you." Jeff stared at the screen of his cell phone as they walked, occasionally pressing buttons. "Besides, didn't you say he had some sort of business in Denver he had to take care of? Maybe it's just taking longer than he thought it would."

"I guess you're right," Annie replied as they reached the glass doors to the study room. She opened the one on the left and walked in, Jeff one step behind. She fumbled along the wall for the light switch and said "I know I shouldn't complain…"

Annie's voice trailed off as the fluorescent lights illuminated the room. It took Jeff a moment to realize that Annie had stopped chattering and look up from his cell phone display.

"Oh. My. God," were the only words Jeff could muster when the power of speech returned to him.

"Honey, I can explain…"

"Dad! Britta…?"

"Um, hi," Britta's face turned crimson as she tried to surreptitiously return her shirt to her body.

"What the…what…I…" Annie's voice became increasingly high pitched as she struggled to create intelligible communication. Jeff's jaw hung wide until he realized that only dogs would be able to hear Annie soon.

"Annie, Annie, take a breath," Jeff laid a hand on his petite friend's shoulder. "I'm sure there is a reasonable and valid explanation as to why one of your best friends is lying on our study room table with your father. " Jeff smirked at Britta. "And I, for one, cannot wait to hear it."

Britta glared at Jeff as her feet landed on the floor. Annie's father moved a little slower, but he climbed down off the table as well.

"You're supposed to be in Denver!" Annie yelled at her father.

Jeff whispered to Britta "You know I'm going to call you Denver for the rest of your life now, right?"

"Shut up, pervert," She whispered back.

"I know, I know," Annie's father began. "And I shouldn't have lied to you. Honey, it's just that when I came here to visit you, I never expected to meet someone that I found so attractive," his eyes wandered to Britta and Annie gave a disgusted exhale. "Ever since your mother and I split, it's been difficult for me to even talk to a woman, and Britta was just so easy…"

"I'll say," Annie interrupted.

"Hey!" Britta said offended.

"Seriously? Seriously, you're going to try to defend yourself?" Annie asked with her hands on her hips as she glared angrily at her blonde friend.

Britta looked down at her bare feet.

"I can't, I just can't handle this right now," Annie turned and began walking quickly out of the study room and down the hall toward the exit.

Jeff continued to stare at the two individuals in front of him. "I'm going to go try to calm her down," Jeff gestured behind him. Before he walked out of the study room door, he turned and looked at Britta.

"You really like that table, don't you?" he said with a smile. Britta hurled her shoe at him.

"Annie, Annie, slow down. Where are you even going?" Jeff jogged to catch up with his friend in the parking lot of the library.

"Britta? Britta? My father is sleeping with Britta." Annie continued walking at a hurried pace.

"Come on, it's not that bad. It's not like they're getting married or anything," Jeff responded, trying to be helpful.

Annie stopped walking abruptly and Jeff crashed into her back.

"OH MY GOD. What if they get married? Britta would be my..." Annie began gesturing wildly. "I could be walking towards the stage, listening to Pomp and Circumstance with my STEP-MOTHER on my heels. Oh God…what does a stroke feel like? A heart attack?"

Jeff grabbed both of Annie's hands in his and held on.
"Annie calm down. Britta is not going to be your step-mom. Your dad's just sewing a few wild oats and Britta…has a field she likes to utilize with some strange choices at times."

Annie cocked her head at him, and he said "Your present company excluded."

Annie took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself down.

"Just promise me one thing," she said, her voice returning to a normal volume and timbre.

"Anything," Jeff said, glad that his friend was regaining her composures.

"Under no circumstances will you ever sleep with my mother."

Jeff chuckled and said "I promise."

Annie resumed her breathing exercises while Jeff continued to hold both of her hands.

"Wait…is your mom hot?"

Annie dropped his hands and said "I hate you" as Jeff laughed and threw his arm around her shoulders.