"Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I really need it." – Swedish Proverb.
"Why are you stressed?" Fitz asked as he followed Olivia from the kitchen into the dining room. He could tell his wife was stressed and he wasn't exactly sure why. He had heard her yell at Karen in the kitchen before she immediately apologised and left the room. She never yelled at Karen so he knew something was up.
"Why are you stressed he asks? Are you kidding me?" Olivia said aloud as she laid out the cutlery, she couldn't believe her husband right now. She resisted the urge to stab him with the fork that was in her hand.
"Babe?" Fitz asked laying a hand softly on her lower back, hoping his touch would calm her like it normally did.
"Your ex fucking wife is sitting at our kitchen bench Fitz, why the hell do you think I'm stressed?" Olivia said turning to face him, her arms crossed over her chest defensively.
"It's just Mellie babe, you see her all the time, this is no different." Fitz replied, uncertain of where Olivia was taking this. They saw Mellie regularly thanks to the joint custody of Teddy and Olivia never fussed over her presence in their life.
"Except that she is in our house for thanksgiving, our house. The house you built for me whilst you were married to her." Olivia replied, blowing out a huff of a sigh as she rubbed a hand over her forehead, mentally calculating how long before she had to take the potatoes out.
"Liv you know that's water under the bridge." Fitz said softly, he really had no idea what was going on with his wife right now. He took her look in; skinny jeans, a loose cardigan, her hair pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck, the look finalised by a red apron.
"Except it isn't Fitz, you know how she makes me feel, how I get around her and yet here you are sitting around all friendly with her." Olivia said turning her back to her husband once again, fixing the placemats once again.
"Friendly?" Fitz asked, raising an eyebrow at Olivia's comment.
"Oh is that so Mellie? Wow Mellie that's great. Like are you kidding me? You bring her into this house and then you spend all this time talking to her." Olivia huffed out, she couldn't believe the nerve of her husband right now.
"I was talking to her and her sister Liv, I've known them both a long time." Fitz replied, really not sure what his wife's problem was.
"I am well aware of that Fitzgerald." Olivia replied sternly, turning and making her way to leave the room.
"I don't see why your upset Olivia." Fitz said stopping her, placing his body in front of hers. Bending his knees and lifting her chin so that their eyes met.
"Because I am slaving away in the goddam kitchen hosting a dinner I didn't even want to host for 20 people including your former wife, her husband and her sister." Olivia said frustrated. Throwing her hands up in defeat before continuing. "Not to mention that your child kept me up all night whilst you slept on so forgive me if I'm a little stressed." Olivia finished, running a hand over her face in defeat, she was exhausted and the last thing she wanted was to be making dinner in her own house for people she didn't even like.
"Do you want me to come and help you? I thought Karen was in there with you?" Fitz asked, he could tell his wife was stressed, tired and overwhelmed. He had taken on the role of the hostess so that Liv didn't have to socialize but he didn't realise by doing so he had left his wife alone with everything else.
"She is in there with me!" Olivia yelled before breathing in and continuing. "And no I don't want you to ask to come and help me, you should just do it instead of flirting with your ex-wife." She said flatly, there was no emotion in her voice and that scared Fitz. She hadn't acted like this in a very long time.
"I am not flirting with her Olivia, come on." Fitz said trying to defuse the situation, he knew Olivia was still insecure sometimes when it came to Mellie no matter how hard he tried to convince her she had no reason to be.
"Fitz I fucking heard you, I think I know what my husband sounds like when he's flirting. I get you used to be close and you were married for a long time and it's like slipping into an old pair of shoes but a little help for your actual wife wouldn't go astray." Olivia said angrily, she couldn't believe her thick-headed husband use to be president with the way he was acting right now.
"Okay what do you need me to do?" Fitz said sighing out, clearly whatever he said wasn't going to change Olivia's mind so he decided to go with a different approach.
"Nothing, I don't want your help." Olivia replied, moving around him and out of the dining room into the hallway that led to the open part of the house.
"Olivia I don't want to fight with you." Fitz said softly grabbing her arm and pulling her back to him, forcing her to look at him before he continued. "Especially not on thanksgiving. I know last year was more relaxed at Abby's and I know you've taken on a lot of pressure tonight but let's not fight okay." Fitz said hoping he had finalized the conversation before his wife went nuclear.
"Hmmm." Olivia replied, pursing her lips, she wasn't in the mood to talk to her husband anymore. "Can you please go check on your daughter if you can fit it into your schedule." Olivia said as she once again turned to walk away from him.
"Olivia." Fitz said warningly as he followed her.
"Maybe ask Mellie to go check on her or better yet, go together. Why not show her our bedroom on the way." Olivia mocked as she walked into the kitchen, thankfully the party had disembarked outside and most of the open area was free. One thing that Olivia didn't like about the house was that the kitchen area was open, she was glad no one was around to hear their conversation.
"Olivia you're being irrational." Fitz said rolling his eyes as he watched his wife mutter to herself in annoyance.
"Oh so if I was acting the way you are with Mellie, with say someone like, I don't know, Jake, you would be fine with that?" Olivia said turning, their eyes meeting, she knew it was a low blow but she was just so frustrated with her husband she couldn't see straight.
"Olivia, do not bring his name into our marriage, we agreed a long time ago to leave him in the past." Fitz said breathing deeply so that he didn't lose his cool. "And you know the two are different, Mellie is in our lives and she is the mother of my children." Fitz finished, upset that his wife has brought up the idiot they no longer thought of.
"I'm sorry." Olivia said genuinely, she didn't mean to bring up that old dark cloud but she just wanted to get her point across. She sighed deeply, tears in her eyes as she lowered her gaze from her husbands. "I'm just trying to show you how I feel. I shouldn't have brought his name up. Just go, its fine. I'm sorry." She whispered out, now she just felt like crap.
"You're not fine Liv." Fitz said, the conversation taking a very serious turn as he pulled his wife into his arms and continued. "You wouldn't have brought him up unless you were being serious. Talk to me baby." Fitz said his hands tapping her lower back in comfort and encouragement as she rested her hands on his chest.
"I just, she's gorgeous and still as charming as ever and you're smiling and laughing and drinking." Olivia said still avoiding contact, preferring to look everywhere but him.
"Liv?" Fitz probed, was Olivia jealous of Mellie? After all these years there's no way his wife could still have unresolved feelings about Mellie.
"And we don't have that anymore, you finished your term and we only had that year together before I fell pregnant and now it's just all about Lily. Which is fine and wonderful because she's everything but we barely have time for us anymore." Olivia started softly, she didn't want to fight anymore, she was just upset. "And I see you laughing with Mellie and it hurts because you don't laugh with me anymore. I just feel so gross and unattractive and we have an 8 week old baby that won't stop crying and I just need my husband to love me and at least pretend I'm not the mess I am." Olivia finished as tears rushed down her face, she very rarely cried but she couldn't seem to keep it in right now, she just felt so horrible in herself lately and her husband's ex-wife wasn't making that easier.
"Livvie. Baby. You are perfect. You only got the ok to have sex two weeks ago and we've had plenty of sex since then so you shouldn't be stressed about that. You are beautiful and gorgeous and you do not for a second look like you have an 8 week old baby. I love you, I am so deeply in love with you." He said kissing her lips softly before pulling away and continuing. "I know we don't have a lot of one on one time at the moment but seeing you with our daughter, the one I've been dreaming about for years makes up for it." Fitz said as he brushed the tears of his wife's face, he was devastated she felt like this and was angry with himself for not picking up on it earlier.
"I just feel like I'm not the Olivia you love anymore. I don't know who I am." Olivia cried softly, they had vowed to always tell each other everything and they did but she had been keeping this in for a while and now all she wanted to do was cry in her husband's arms.
"Baby you are still you. But now you're Olivia Pope Grant, and with the Grant comes a very cute chubby baby." Fitz said as Olivia smiled softly at the thought of their beautiful baby. "You're still Olivia Pope but you don't have to be her all the time. It's okay to be a mom and stress over things, life isn't always going to be 100% perfect." Fitz stated as he rubbed circles on her back, trying to ease his wife's pain, there was nothing he hated more than his wife being upset.
"I guess." Olivia said half-heartedly, her husband was wonderful and sweet but she just couldn't believe him right now.
"And you wanna know why I was smiling earlier?" Fitz said meeting Olivia's gaze with a glint in his eye.
"Why?" Olivia asked unable to stop the small smile coming across her face.
"Whilst I was leaning over the kitchen bench, I remembered the last time I was leaning over it which included a very sexy memory with an even sexier wife of mine." Fitz said deeply, his voice vibrating over Olivia's body as the memory washed over them both.
"Really?" Olivia asked, she was very rarely this whiny or dependant on him but now all she needed was her husband's love and affection and Fitz was very happy to give it to her.
"Liv I want you all the time, everyday, all day every day. But we have Lily now and if we need to compromise a little of our time right now to give it to her than that's what we have to do. But it's not always going to be like this." Fitz promised, he knew it was hard but he knew it would get better as Lily got older.
"You promise you're still attracted to me? And my crazy new mom hormones haven't turned you off me?" Olivia asked quietly with a small laugh, she knew she had been irrational lately.
"Baby nothing you could ever do would turn me off you. Nothing." Fitz said smirking softly before continuing. "And you'd wanna bet that I am laying you flat on this kitchen bench the moment our guests leave." Fitz breathed out as his hands squeezed Olivia's ass, bringing her into a deep kiss. "I love you sweet baby." He said tenderly as he pulled away.
"I love you too, so much." It was rare for Olivia Pope to speak those words but when she did, it meant the world to her husband. It wasn't easy, their life together, but here in the middle of a chaotic thanksgiving, seconds after a fight, they couldn't remember life being anything other than perfect.
SO I had a dream about Tony and Kerry and this is kinda what it featured so I turned it into an Olitz one shot, so many Vermont feels about 409. Hope you all enjoyed, leave me a review of your thoughts! :)