DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Never have, never will. 'Nuff said.

A/N: BEFORE READING!!1!

This fanfic is based off of the mangaverse. Therefore, if you have not read the manga version of Fullmetal Alchemist, then you will not understand what is going on. I don't need a million questions asking about who is what and what is where. Read the manga, then this will make sense. Kinda.

This fic will also contain spoilers for the manga, just so you know.

NOTE: The homunculi are different characters in the manga than from who they are in the anime. The homunculi are also made differently.

This fic takes place just after Ling has been turned into Greed, but before Ed/Al go to Briggs. Somewhere in that timespan. Not being too particular about it.

ALSO: I'm fascinated with the idea that Ed could ever possibly become a homunculus, so there are aspects in this story that stem from the little pieced together ending of Bluebird's Illusion that is, honestly, so incredibly vague that it's open to availability anyway. This is one big mashed together story of different themes, but mainly manga based.

Story Warnings: This is rated mature for violence, language, and eventual pairings. I'm still playing with the idea, so bear with me. Reviews are awesome, they make writers write. OK, enough of that. Enjoy! 

What it means to be free

Chapter 1

Edward Elric's chest was heaving. Something was rattling around in his ribs as he breathed, taking in each, great lungful of air with a painful wheeze every time as the world around him slowly started to come back into focus. There was blood on his hands; in fact, it was all around him, decorating the area within his reach like it was nothing more than paint. Why was there so much? It wasn't until he was able to take in a few more gulps of air that Edward realized he was crouched on the ground, leaning heavily upon his human knee with his automail leg stretched forward in front of him. He realized he probably looked very much like a poised cat, with his clenched hands pulled back sharply and his back arched. It had been the last position he'd taken after the final blow, piercing what should have been the heart of his enemy before finally allowing himself the right to hold still a moment of air. He'd earned the break, after all, as it wasn't every day he could build up the courage to fight and murder a kid.

What was left of the child Pride lay in pieces before him, the boy's scattered form crumbling to ashes piece by piece before Edward's clouded gaze. The last thing to be seen was the monstrous expression the homunculus wore upon it's face before it became nothing, shriveling and soaking into the air itself. The thought that Ed might possibly be breathing the damn thing was sickening, and he curled his automail leg beneath him in order to sit back and unknot himself in the process. Everything ached, and it wasn't just the usual pain. Ed knew he'd been hit enough times for the kid to easily overpower him, but the longer they battled, the easier it was for him to see that the moron didn't really know him his enemy at all.

The Fullmetal Alchemist didn't go down when he was struck, nor did he break after the second or third blow. He'd long since driven himself to the point of ignorance when it came to pain, and considering the stakes that were at hand, Edward knew he had to win, no matter what. That drive led to his victory, and that alone was his advantage over anything that dared to get in his way, even bearing the face of an innocent. Ed smirked as he let his arms drop to his sides, the automail hand scraping slightly across the bloodied cement with a sickening sound. If he'd been alone, he would have laughed aloud for the sheer insanity of it all.

A deep rumbling caught his attention throughout the miasma of metallic noises that echoed around him. Edward's golden eyes flickered back over to what would soon become the center of his attention. A man that was no man; a father who was no father. The real villain behind everything that was going wrong around him, yet the answer to every prayer Ed had been whispering since he was eleven years old. He didn't even know the man's name.

Edward coughed harshly, moving to wipe the trail of blood from his chin as he stood to his feet, his eyes practically glowing with the flames that radiated around him. It was unfortunately true that if it hadn't been for Mustang, Ed would never have gotten as far as he had…but hell if he was ever going to admit it. The lingering flames burned mercilessly, yet the man standing near them gave no sign of interest, as if the fact that his home was burning around him truly held no consequence. Ed didn't care; the whole place could go up along with everything in it so long as he came out with two things, and one of those two was now clenched tightly in his hand. He cleared his throat angrily, feeling the familiar taste of copper before he spat out onto the ground at his side. Everything hurt, but it was tolerable enough, and he hid it easily beneath his determined face.

"You've underestimated me again, old man!" Ed called out, letting his lip sneer as he saw the slight bit of surprise in the enemy's guard. It was sickening just how much the thing looked like Hoenheim…Ed would have given anything to pull the skin straight from his skull and stomp on it for good measure. "Cause I'm still standing…while your best little piece of shit is now nothing more than charcoal." Ed laughed, cringing slightly as he boldly took a step forward towards the gathering before him. There were far too many of them for him to handle alone, that he knew, but there was an advantage still lingering for him that he was betting everything on. It had to have worked by now, after all he'd done and everything he'd gone through, the interest had to be there.

The Hoenheim look-alike was smart and he knew it, but Edward wasn't going to back down any longer. He saw Envy twitch out of the corner of his eye, the irritated homunculus itching to wrap his fingers around Edward's throat, yet he remained where he was nonetheless. That was it, that was the power Fullmetal had gained by ripping out the heart of a fellow homunculus; earning the respect of the overseer in turn. The elder Elric held up his blood soaked hand, curling the crimson stone into his fingers and almost reveling in the touch. It was finally his, the philosopher's stone, the epitome of everything they'd been searching for for far too long. It didn't matter anymore what it was made of, the damn thing was made already and there wasn't anything he could do to change that. All he cared about at that point, was what it could do. The large silhouette being held in the shadows behind his father's double was lingering as the only bargain-able price that could have ever swayed him. Yet, despite how pissed off he was of Al in the hands of monsters, there was still an opportunity to be had so long as he had the guts to seize it.

"You've got some nerve, pipsqueak!" Envy barked out, grinding his teeth and taking a step forward as he balled his fists in front of him. Edward barely glanced at the strangely effeminate looking monster, despite the immediate irritation from the horrendous nickname, and he kept his focus on the target instead of the sidelines. Envy could easily overtake him, especially since he was injured, but Ed wanted to keep his bluff for as long as he could. Thankfully, the ballsy move was paying off as the old man silenced his homunculus with simply a glance. Despite the fact that he was still emanating his anger, Envy was remarkably silent.

"I'm impressed." The man's soft voice held no echo, the same as his father's, and Ed felt his sneer widen at the sound of it. "Pride was my best," he admitted blandly, his voice as level and unemotional as his face. "…lost to the hands of a damaged and under-aged human. Perhaps my standards hav-"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN DAMAGED!?" Edward screamed out, unable to stop himself as he clenched his hand around the stone and felt the power surge up along with his hate. Pain lanced up his injured side, but he ignored it, glaring with fiery eyes at the monster before him. "Don't youfuck with me old man! I'm no more damaged than any of the other circus acts you've got around you, so don't even think of a second that you can underestimate me! Release my brother! Now!" Ed demanded boldly, shifting his weight to his automail leg and standing with his chest forward as if the very act itself would make him larger. There was no humor in his eyes or his words, however, and Ed meant every word he said. The fool really didn't know who the hell he was dealing with.

"Oh, so now you're making demands? Funny that…" Ed shifted slightly, his expression faltering at the sight of a familiar face with an altogether unfamiliar expression. Greed crossed the Prince's arms over his chest as he stepped into the light, smiling with Ling's face and staring down at him with Ling's eyes. Edward's eyes widened, but he kept himself stern, clenching the stone again and reminding himself that it was still there. The blood on his hands was already drying and flaking off. "You're still pretty damn outnumbered little man, so if you think you can just walk up here an-"

"I'm NOT little!"

"-d take us all out one by one, you've got another thing comin'. Besides, there isn't a chance in hell you coulda' beaten Pride if the rest of us had put any effort into stopping you. Especially since you know that Father can take all that precious alchemy from you in a second." Greed grinned, his sharpened teeth glistening as he stood with his legs apart in that usual swagger that Ed had come to despise. Golden eyes darted from one enemy to the next as he saw the faint image of Fuhrer Bradley standing far too close to Al's hunched form. Why wasn't Al looking at him? Was he alright? The Fuhrer, Wrath, was going to be the hardest of the obstacles before him, which was probably why he'd been placed by Al in the first place. The bastards, Ed thought, thinking they could intimidate him…

"So what!? As if you would have helped him anyway! All's fair game in the honor of monsters, isn't it? Your boss goes down and you take his place, right? Kill or be killed? Your instincts are more like animals than humans…you'd let any of your other 'brethren' here die if it would benefit you!"

"Wisely noted, kid. But then, we're not the ones covered in blood, now are we? Especially what's left of a child."

Ed's breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening as he felt his heart painfully skip a beat. Greed was wrong about Pride being a child, but Ed realized he really was the only one standing amongst them covered in his own sin. The irony of it took him aback, and his breath stuttered before he pulled himself together again, but it was enough of a pause for the monster to notice. Ed had lost his absolute indifference before the enemy, and there was no getting that back, they knew the regret he was hiding.

A sudden burst of flames charged up around the group of them out of nowhere, slicing in between the homunculi and Edward before flaring upwards in a wall of heat and fury. Ed took a step back as he cried out, his hands moving to shield his face before he panicked at the lack of visual between he and his brother. "Mustang! NO!" Ed screamed, feeling the power of the stone once again as his panic grew. It was like a life in his hands that knew no more than the extremities of it's holder, and Edward felt himself leaning into that power if only the chance was there that it could help him. As if on cue, his flesh hand seemed to move on it's own, lunging him forward and into the flames with a sudden cry of terror from the blonde as he did so. Out of the corner of his eye, Edward could see the image of the Colonel staring at him in an uncharacteristic expression of terror before everything bled into a red haze. The burning and the pain that Ed was expecting, however, never came as the furious heat suddenly dissipated at his touch and curled into blue flames around him before evaporating altogether.

Ed stood frozen in his shock, his golden eyes wide and staring ahead at nothing with the hand still reaching forward that held the stone. The power it held…even simply by will alone, was incredible. With that simple motion, everything the Flame Alchemist had sent between them had been forced into reverse and nulled completely. A breath of a second seemed to stand in forever in stillness before there was movement and Ed's line of sight distracted immediately to where Mustang stood. The Colonel had agreed to come with him only under the mutual understanding that they needed to save and bring back Al. He was even less prepared for what had lay ahead than Fullmetal was, but Ed knew Roy to be more than adaptable tin battle. What they hadn't expected, however, was for all of them to be there, especially Bradley. In the second of confusion that left them both stunned and open, Wrath had Roy slammed into a wall, both hands crushing into the Flame's palms that were pinned and breaking where he could no longer use them. The cry of anguish that pulled from Mustang's throat was enough to get Edward to start to move towards them, but he was stopped short when Greed stepped in the way.

"Nuh uh-uh. Nothin' doin kid. Not your fight and not part of the deal. The moment you pick one with another one of us is the moment you fight all of us, remember?" Greed winked at him with Ling's narrow eye, holding up a hand between them with the red ouroboros tattoo branded blatantly upon it. Ed's eyes flickered from Greed's hand over the monster's shoulder, eyeing Mustang as Wrath put a knee into the man's chest and knocked the air right out of him, letting him sink to the floor as his gloves tore off into The Fuhrer's hands. Yet he knew Greed was right, and if he dared to go to Roy's aid, there was a chance that he could loose sight of Al in more ways than one. Still…

"Fullmetal! Get to your brother!" Ed stared wide-eyed at the slumped figure in uniform that had bellowed at him, his golden gaze moving from Mustang to turn towards the large shadow behind the visage of his father. Either way, he knew, he was going to lose. Ed's hand clenched around the stone again, reassuring himself with both the physical feel and the power that he dared not reach for within it's depths. There was too much to sacrifice for too little, and he would have to manipulate his surroundings carefully if any of them were going to get out alive.

"Release my brother." Ed ground out, repeating his previous demand as his eyes flashed in the direction of the monster in charge. "Now…before I really show you what I will do." He knew he was a mess, bleeding from who knows where with ripped clothing and banged up automail, but so help him, he'd fight his way through hell if that's what it took to get Alphonse. Every bit of that fury could be read on the alchemist's young face, whether he meant it to or not, and Father eyed him cautiously for a moment before taking a step forward. It was the first time he'd moved since it had all started, and Ed could see the curious looks that were cast by the creature's own subordinates.

"You are an interesting mix, Edward." Father spoke blandly, his voice still eerily still and rotten on the air. "Although I should have assumed as much, since you are his son."

Ed scowled at the insult but kept his words to himself, his eyes showing the disdain with far more than words could have. He could've sworn it almost made the creature smile.

"Yet you are also so intriguingly similar to that child of mine that you just destroyed. That same audacity…the cunningness and the ego. You seem to have the weight of nations upon your shoulders yet you bear it with more of a conceited, self-sufficiency than my Pride could ever dream of. That smug vanity will leave you nothing but pain if you're only going to let your conscience continue to battle within you. I never knew such an arrogance could ever exist alongside such an obvious dependency to principles." Father smirked with his words, his eyes narrowing as he observed and judged the alchemist before him and watched the anger boil it's way easily to his surface. Edward had too much to scream out, and in it's place it left him agonizingly silent and fuming with his fists shaking at his sides. The stone reverberated between his fingers and it wasn't until the monster reacted before him as well that Ed realized he'd known it was fueling him all along.

"Return the stone, Edward Elric, son of Hoenheim. Then take your brother and go. I've no use for morals or affection in my plans." He held a hand out before Ed, an obvious sign of want in retrieving the bloody stone from the young alchemist and returning it to where it came from. Ed's face blanched, his fingers tightening around the cool surface as if he could lock his fingers in place. This was what he'd come for…not just Al, and not just to find the enemies that were tearing the country apart inch by inch. The stone was everything; everything! And if it meant that he'd once again be forced to walk away from being so close to saving his brother, than it wasn't worth walking away from this time. Not again, and not after all they'd sacrificed. He had it in the palm of his hand just waiting to be used! All he needed to do was get to Al…get one prize to another and then everything would be back to the way it was. They could live again as human beings…as blood born brothers…undamaged and free to live out their lives as they should have from the beginning.

Edward flinched away from the outstretched hand, his own automail hand reaching to encase his other as if to secure himself even more that it wasn't going anywhere. It was the most childish motion he could have made, and although he hated the act of it, there was still nothing in his brimming mind that would think to do otherwise. The man wanted what he had, and he didn't want to give it but knew he had nowhere else to go.

"Oh…so you've decided then." Father practically whispered, his tone frighteningly deliberate as it leaked down into Ed's pores and made him shiver involuntarily.

"D-decided? I didn'tdecide anything! I knew! This and my brother are what I came for, you should have expected that, bastard old man!" Edward spat back at him, trying to cover for himself with just how unsure he was. Golden eyes flashed from the barely visible image of Al back to the injured Mustang. Wrath had the man's hands pulled behind him and had yanked him to his feet, holding the Colonel before him with a blade held precariously before his throat. Ed swallowed, his heart torn between who he thought he could reach first, yet knowing the only true target would be the metal visage just over the machinery surrounding them. If it wasn't for the fact that he knew the man could take his alchemy from him with but a step of his foot, Ed would have leapt over all of them hours ago. However, careful decision making was swiftly drawing itself to a close and Ed wasn't even sure yet what they'd done to keep his brother silent.