You know, I've always wanted to go to the Sakura Festival...but anyway, the whole 'Kira! Athrun!' part is inspired by the gundam seed chibi theatre, so yeah...and Vincent is based on my friend Chase, who is always the victim of my ridiculous death plots.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Naruto, Gundam Seed, or Pritkin. However, Vincent, Miya, Kale and Nikki are based on my friends, and I DO own them! Mwahahaha!!
The Wedding That Never Was (Part 1)
On a surprisingly hot afternoon in March, a seemingly shy, lonely girl sobbed softly when her Cotton Candy flavored ice cream exploded onto the searing hot asphalt below.
On a completely different topic, a young couple was rushing through the crowds gathered to enjoy the blooming of Japan's cherry blossom trees.
The couple was me and Matsuda, and we were pushing madly past groups of people, in a hurry to get to the site of the five billionth wedding since the Sakura Festival had begun. It was of course the marriage of my long time friends Eve Berglund and Kira Yamato.
With only an hour to go till the wedding started, we'd hit a snag. Matsuda and I had had to sprint to the nearest drug store for a pack of Always, while Eve sat on a toilet in a blue silk kimono, not sure exactly sure how she should react.
It had been more than a year since L's last party, which to the entire world's amazement, had ended in Light Yagami's arrest as the criminal killer Kira.
I had been told by Matsuda (who I was now living with) that Light had died in custody soon after. After attempting several times to write the name of his captor, John Pritkin, on scraps of the Death Note in his own blood (which were always taken away from him before he could finish), he'd died of severe blood loss. His last words, so I've heard, were, "Damn! Now I'll never see the season finale of Desperate Housewives!"
I burst through the door of the park's bathroom and thrust the pads under Eve's stall door. "Come prepared next time!" I wheezed, trying to calm my racing heartbeat.
"Omigod, I love you!!" Eve exclaimed in relief. "But I didn't need a whole pack."
"Well, I didn't exactly have time to open the thing and steal one like last time." I argued. "Besides, we're gonna be here a while."
At that point, I didn't know how right I actually was.
About an hour later, the ceremony began. Everyone had agreed it would be very simple. The guests sat on simple chairs facing a simple alter and a simple priest. Eve's parents had died and Kira's weren't worth mention, so I agreed to walk up with Kira and senile Watari with Eve.
She had invited L, Pritkin (because he was just that cool), and a bunch of our friends from way back in high school. Miya, one of my first high school friends, was standing over by the alter with Eve's other maids. She had evilly long blond hair and glasses, and had just started an internship at some prestigious hospital.
Beside her was a young woman with relatively short black hair and a dog collar around her neck. She was Kale Smith, one of the hugest animal activists in Canada.
Next to Kale was Nikki, a traveler who once or twice had helped out with some of L's investigations. Her spiky blond hair didn't go at all with the blue and black dresses us maids were all wearing, but it trimmed her pudgy figure.
Kira and I made our way down the aisle. I waved to Miya and the the other maids, and L gave me a 'Holy hell, you're wearing a dress!' look. I noticed that Matsuda was playing the part of Kira's best man. Seriously, did the groom have any friends?
We separated, and while Kira stopped at the alter, I took my place as the maid of honor. Then Eve and Watari walked up.
The only other vaguely interesting thing that can be noted is that the priest guy had a ridiculously high voice.
"And do you, Kira Yamato, take Eve Berglund to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The man squeaked to Kira. "I d-"
"WAIT!!"
Down the grass padded aisle raced a young man with shoulder length, blueish hair and a tight fitting jacket. "Kira!" He shouted.
Kira's jaw dropped. "...Athrun?!" He cried out in joyous shock.
" Kira!" Athrun sang in reply.
"Athrun!"
"Kira!" The two finally met.
Uh, I'm not very good at writing Yaoi, so I can't really describe what happened after that. But it was pretty strange to watch.
Nikki squealed in delight, being a huge Yaoi fan herself. L and every other man out there who knew he deserved better than to be the victim of another fangirl's pairings looked away in horror. I winced and asked Kira if he could take this somewhere else.
Out of nowhere, two shining white horses appeared and carried Athrun and Kira off into their better-left-unseen fantasies. Eve opened her mouth, but nothing came out, so she closed it. Then she opened it again.
"...Well...so much for that." She eventually stated blankly. The site hushed into silence, waiting for it to start raining.
Miya pushed up her glasses. "Since we're all here anyway," She spoke up. "We may as well finish this thing." I plugged my Zen into the huge stereo system set up and we got maybe half an hour of partying in before the shinobi showed up.
The six of them dropped from different branches on different cherry blossom trees in a very classic ninja movie ambush scene. They landed in a straight line along the aisle and paused to give everyone a good look at their flashy name tags.
Kakashi, Naruto, Gaara, Kankuro, Sasuke and Sakura, they read in order.
Me, L, Pritkin, Eve, and even ancient Watari had exceptional combat skills, but I didn't think it would have any effect against these guys. I tried to talk the fight out of them instead.
"And you are?" I addressed them pleasantly.
"We're ninjas from Konohagakure." The gray-haired Kakashi responded. "And we've been hired to capture a..." He checked a small notebook he'd just pulled out of one his many pockets. "...A Sera Nakamura. Is she here?"
Oh great, I thought. "Sorry, we don't-"
"Oh sure! She's right over there." Vincent told him, pointing right at me.
Vincent was another 'friend' from high school, whom Eve had only invited because he'd forced her to hire him as a male stripper. He had light blue eyes and brown, bowl cut hair that I was going to rip out of his head when this was all over.
The situation got worse when more ninjas dropped down. Three jumped in front of the alter, hidden in large-collared black cloaks with red clouds. They had even flashier name tags.
Itachi, Deidara, Sasori.
Cockatoo-haired Sasuke glared hard at Itachi. "So older brother, we meet again." He hissed. Itachi sighed deeply. "Are you still fussing over that whole vengeance thing?" Deidara and Sasori shook their heads in disappointment of the younger brother.
"He's so immature." Commented Sasori.
As if it was possible, Sasuke glared even harder. "I will get revenge for the Uchiha family's murder. We're gonna fight right now!!" He roared.
Itachi sighed again. "Oh, as you wish..." He remarked tiredly. "But remember, you asked for it."
They proceeded to get into a very intense Yu-gi-oh duel.
Unfortunately, the victor of this duel would not be discovered because of what would happen next. However, I can tell you that Itachi was doing a very good job of kicking Sasuke's ass.
Everyone was focused on the brother's duel except for me. I was too busy being relieved that the focus was off of me! I was feeling good until a slight rumbling was heard from far off somewhere. I directed a pleading look at my boyfriend, asking him to know something about what was going on. He just shrugged, grabbed my hand and started dragging me off to what he thought was safety.
The rumbling got louder and louder, and we finally spotted it's cause coming up over a hill on the other side of the park. Lots of people screamed and ran for their lives, but even more still just stood and stared in immense weirded outness.
More than a thousand million white-furred ferrets were scampering down the aforementioned hill, no doubt to join the ranks of the Resident Evil zombies in face eating.
My jaw dropped to what I imagine was the floor, and Eve danced over to us, squealing. "I bet you one of those ferrets is secretly Draco Malfoy!"
The ferret army's eyes glinted evilly and their tiny teeth were bared as they finally clashed with what had previously been wedding guests.
Luckily, Vincent's life was the only one taken.
A large group of especially mean looking ferrets knocked him down and immediately we knew he was doomed. L hopped his way through the white blanket over to where we were standing. The four of us had to look away as the creatures advanced on Vincent.
To this day, no one knows exactly why the animals killed only him. He didn't have anything particularly smelly or food-like on him, and he didn't threaten them in any way, they just happened to really want to try a piece of his face. He was just Vincent, I guess...
Anyway, Matsuda and L were trying to back us away from the frenzy, but Eve kept going around asking any of the ferrets if they were secretly Draco Malfoy.
Then it happened.
One little guy managed to stop dashing around for a second and sniffed my foot. He looked around for a moment and then sniffed again, unsure. Then, all of a sudden, he started jumping and leaping around to let all his ferret friends know he'd found what they were looking for. Me.
The entire white mass of them turned in my direction, and I was helpless to resist as they crawled up my dress, knocking me down with their combined weight.
My body landed on a ferret bed, but my head thudded hard on the grass, making my vision all fuzzy. "Sera!" Matsuda yelled, reaching out his hand. I tried to grab it, but the ferrets were now rushing to the hill they'd came from and we were too far apart.
"Mat...suda..." Then I fell unconscious.
TO BE CONTINUED...
What will happen to Sera? What's Matsuda gonna do about it? Will Eve ever find her true love/Draco Malfoy?
Find out in Part 2!